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Snooping Around Fallen Angles & Obsolete Demons

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Snooping Around Fallen Angles & Obsolete Demons

By Sammy The Snake

Enter the land of doom and gloom. Step in to a world of great expectations. Open your eyes to living in the past. Touch the faded grass, and smell the corpses on the ground. Welcome to the universe of Liverpool, where angles have fallen and obsolete demons have returned to rule.

What do you do when things go from bad to worse, and then take a turn for the worst? And then you bring in new owners, who can’t do anything but watch as the fortunes of a proud club are battered every weekend, and sometimes during the week too! You bring back the Lion King, hoping that his charisma (since he may have nothing else to offer) will save the club. Perhaps they’re just hoping that memories of “good old days” will turn things around. As if it’s just that easy…

King Kenny has returned to Liverpool, and he got a good spanking for his first game. Although the FA Cup defeat to ManIOU was a bit unfair, you couldn’t in reality see Liverpool scoring a goal even if there were 22 replays of the game. So I can’t see why the KOP are complaining, or are they? Let’s cruise the blogosphere and find out!

We start with Anfield Red, whose latest article is pre-ManU game (talk about living in the past!). In this blog, we learn that “Roy inherited a poor squad”, “Roy Sacked”, followed by some unhealthy drooling over the appointment of King Kenny to the manager’s position. It seems they are still in shock over the fact that their king has failed to live up to expectation and hence can’t write any words.

There’s so much crap in Liverpool.theoffside.com that I just won’t get in to it. One article is titled “The Rise and Fall of Martin Kelly”… When did he rise?! Wishful thinking get’s you nowhere.

The “multi-award winning” Kop Blog (Note to Tony: Where are the Untold awards?) has a fresh look to it, which sets it apart from all the blogs I’ve visited during my reign at Snooping department at Untold headquarters. This place is unbelievably alive, articles have generated between 400 to 600 comments! That beats anything I’ve ever seen. Despite the rumors, KOP are alive!  Surprisingly, their latest article is dated 31st of December, just about two weeks old. Have KOP bloggers lost their ability to say stuff? What can you say when things are so bad?!

The discussions are quite realistic, like saying Liverpool is “Dead Man Walking”, putting most of the blame on the previous owners (Gillette and the other guy). They call for Roy to get the sack, and since there are no fresh articles, we can only assume that the appointment of the King has not been too exciting for them. Their best wish for the season is “Wake Me Up in May”!

Well Red is another outdated blog with reasonable readership, their latest was published on 29th of December. This guy is as positive as Fidel Castro on his sick bed! And he’s positively anti-Roy. Reading things like “Hudgson’s crime sheet” can only make the blog seem sensationalist. I read “Liverpool and NESV do not have to accept mediocrity”, and I think “Really!?!”. What have you been doing so far?

I’m sickened to see Liverpool FC Forever was last updated on 13th of December. Their headline “Game over for Hudgson – Resign or get sacked” says it all. The blog is filled with pictures of their players, hanging their heads low and you feel sorry for them.

Have You Been To Liverpool is a bit more positive by saying “HRH deposed – Long live the King!” and “Kenny thrown to the deep end but reasons to be buoyant?” (Question mark supplied by them!). Articles here have less than 5 comments, so I think it’s best not to take their word too seriously.

Kop Source can only be described as “cool”, with professional graphics for the blog, flash pictures and all the works. They see “A reason to be positive” in Dalglish appointment, and argue in another article that “Dalglish’s Liverpool return may last longer than you think…”.  This is a nice blog with all the news and stuff, except that you won’t find any meaningful discussions.

Do KOP have a blog to massage their brains the way Untold does for Gunners? No way near anything like that!

It look s a lot like KOP are deep in fear, and even the return of King has not lifted the gloom. Their bloggers are holding much comment following the encouraging return of their savior (Oh, please!) and the discouraging loss to their arch enemy (what else is new?). With things as bad as they are, what can you say? You’ve driven Gillette & Co. out, and kicked Roy Boy off. Who do you criticize now? How can you b!tch? Best for KOP to stay silent for now…

How far can romance and sentimentality take Liverpool? Well, my guess is that we’ll learn sooner rather than later!

On a note closer to home, I’ve been please and amazed at an article in our very own Le Grove which praises Wenger like they’ve never done before:

“In other news, Arsene Wenger won manager of the decade. A superb achievement. As much as we give him a hard time over here, we certainly appreciate the consistency he’s bought to the club and our superb brand of football. My argument would be that Wenger shouldn’t just have won it, he should have smashed it. His decision making has been off kilter in the past few years. Hopefully we’ll see a return to the early noughties form for the next half of this decade.”

While un-quoting, and wondering why Le Grove is so nice & cute for once, I encourage Tony to cover the story in detail. Congratulations, Mr. Wenger!

Let’s kick some Ipswich butt: Upwards and onwards towards the League Cup final!

Sammy The Snake

Want more ranting and raging, plus some funny bits.  Try Making the Arsenal.

Failing that try Woolwich Arsenal

Or Untold

15 comments to Snooping Around Fallen Angles & Obsolete Demons

  • Ah, the Untold Awards. Well we do get right near the top in the regular Wikio charts, and most of our rivals are nowhere near. But awards…

    Well, the guardian did a 100 football blogs to read, and we weren’t anywhere on it. I’m not doing this for mere awards (he said polishing the 100 metres cup won aged 11 which still has pride of place in the sitting room) but I did have a good look through the list to see if I could understand why.

    What was interesting was that on the list was not a single blog that criticises journalists – and that’s what we do all the time.

    Look at it this way – The Guardian newspaper won an award for Said and Done, a weekly column that records some of the nonsense in football. Much of it is made up of this sort of stuff:

    Monday 5th: Albert Manager says, “I am manager of this football club, I like my job, and the chairman has faith in my approach. Why should I resign? These rumours are just that – rumours.”

    Wednesday 7th: resigns.

    It is like that a lot – very droll the first time but a bit sad after a while. Anyway I did a piece about how to be fair they ought to cover the papers in the same way.

    Monday 5th: Tottenham will sign Hardly Anyone from Scunthorpe this week, and will put him straight into the first team for the match against Manchester United next weekend. (The Guardian)

    Wednesday 7th: Hardley Anyone signs for Berwick Rangers.

    Those sort of thing tends to annoy award givers – especially if over time you do it to enough people.

    Because Untold is written by people who do research and because we cover subjects no one else will, we annoy the people who give out awards who really rather like a cosy club of everyone knowing their place. And if there is one thing Untold doesn’t know, its its place.

    Of course I’d love us to have an award, and of course I’d hire a suit to go and get it, but I fear we have blotted the copybook too many times to stand much chance.

    The FIFA award for fearless exposure of corruption and utter stupidity in football? Maybe. Maybe not.

  • tahsein

    I actually wait for the articles of Sammy the Snake!always makes me laugh:)nice job sammy keep ’em coming.

    @Tony-would we see a few articles on Wenger?you know,congratulating him,his journey…maybe divided in a few parts?

  • pH

    Nice article. & ‘Angels’, not ‘Angles’, Sammy.
    This is the first time I’m commenting on this blog, though been reading Untold for a year I think.
    the articles are good. n fun too.
    Keep it up Tony n co

  • Renan

    It proves once again that Untold is the best football blog around ! Keep up the good work lads.

  • aaron

    Lol this article read as bias ego rubbing. I’m not a big fan of that, but you guys do, do good jobs. You defiantly fill a gap in the market for sure. Keep it up and make it even better!

  • walter

    We’ve only got one snake 😉
    Keep it up Sammy

  • walter

    We sure should win that Fifa award this year 🙂
    I think we have beaten all the other football blogs and have written more articles on Fifa than there have been games played in the world cup.
    If we don’t win it this time, I have to think they are somewhat corrupt

  • Richard B

    Sorry Tony – check that trophy again, I think you’ll find it was for the 100 yards. We didn’t even know whar a metre was until at least 1980.

  • nicolas

    Hi Tony and company!
    Well for what its worth, you’ll get my vote for the award. But maybe you should think that you’re above getting awards? Instead of getting awards you should give them to others at the end of the season. I would be happy to contribute, and maybe other readers too. And on the other subject: I’ve read that we are apparently looking to sign a new defender in this transfer window – is this the case? And if it is, who (or what kind a player) you think we should get?

  • Invincible

    Much as I enjoy laughing at Liverpool’s rapid descent, I think you’re not giving their fanbase enough credit. This is Anfield is a pretty comprehensive and up to date blog/forum, that I think outshines anything even we have, and Arsenal blogs are by far the best overall in the blogosphere. So to say that Liverpool don’t have a blog where meaningful discussions occur is very harsh.

  • Dark Prince

    Btw,.fallen angles??? Shouldn’t it be fallen ANGELS??? 😛

  • Nicolas. The defender situation seems to be that Vermaelen has had another set back, and could be out for a long time yet. So, yes, another defender is being sought.

    Think of a name, and some newspaper or blog will have come up with it as their inside tip.

    As usual I go for the Peruvian goalkeeper who Wenger buys for 5.5p believing he will be a brilliant centre forward, converts him to central defender and then six years 300 appearances later sells to Manchester City for £35m as City say “this is the last major purchase, the squad is complete”

    Something like that.

  • Alok Thapliyal

    agree with tahsein
    @Tony : would love to see an article dedicated to Le Prof-the best manager in the world. a nice way to congratulate him.

  • Keith

    Tony I know this is off topic but have you read the following:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/9358589.stm

    Their quote certainly praises our financial model while warning others.

  • aman

    we should go for cahill…he is tall,has good passing gamepign him plz plz plz