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Lord Wenger for President

So having spent a day arguing about when people were signed and the value of our youth system, the Lord Wenger now tells us it is all going to be pulled to bits by the new FIFA plans to limit transfers of players under 18.

Our Great Leader pointed out that we have the “90-minutes” rule (which seemingly encourages families to buy fast cars to get the kids to the ground) and the “home-grown players” rule (which encourages parents to buy more manure I suppose).

I guess next we will have a rule that stops us signing players before they are born, and if that comes in, where will we be?

The Lord Wenger says, “it’s vital that this under-18 transfer rule is not implemented because English clubs would have a domestic limitation and a foreign limitation, making it harder to produce home-grown players… We can only pray that somebody next to London Colney is as gifted as Maradona and says, ‘Please can I play for you.'”

Meanwhile the minister of sporty things and fake expenses has said that the Sweet FA is in need of immediate reform.  He says that the recommendations of the Burns four years ago must be implemented in full or face a £25m cut in grassroots funding and the withdrawal of political support.

So as if the arguments about the under 18s and the mileage rule were not enough we now are going to get a load of other changes to the FA, who spend all their time mucking about with things that they are utterly unable to comprehend or deal with.

These are, let us not forget, the people (along with their foreign counterparts) who take our players, injure them, hand them back, and then do it again.  They connive with FIFA to scupper meaningful schedules, playing friendlies just before the season opens, and then a week later stopping the season here there and everywhere for their own silly ends.

Minister Sutcliffe also told the FA to work with the EPL more closely, which is a bit like telling my cat to set up a co-operative committee with the dog next door.

The FA is a shambles and a half – it can’t even decide whether the people who own Notts County are fit and proper, probably because it still can’t work out who they are.   That might seem a trivial point from an Arsenal perspective, but just think – Notts County have been taken over by an unknown bunch of people hiding behind a Swiss company and they could be anyone.  Supposing they are not accepted by the FA – that presumably ends the existence of the oldest league club in the world.  Nice one.  How long does it take to see if a guy is a crook or not?

Presumably quite a while if Switzerland is involved – I suppose they are still thinking about the England manager and all his fake accountancy and that fine of £6m he got for taxation matters while living with the Swiss.  Difficult thing, money.

Or lets consider the Women’s League.  We were supposed to have a summer league starting next year to encourage the game.   The FA said it would be on, and then said, oh no and at a moment’s notice, they stopped it.   This is the same FA who allowed league clubs for 70 years to ban women’s football from their clubs.

So one might think, anything could be better than the FA – until we think oh, its the government.  That awfully nice bunch of people who, on seeing that the bankers destroyed our economy decided to give a load of money to the bankers without any restrictions on what they did with it.  So now the bankers are doing it all again.   Nope, I don’t think I would trust the bank infested government to be any better than the FA.

Who is to lead us then?  Who will get us out of this mess?

There is of course only one solution. If the Lord Wenger became grand president of the Universe, we would probably be safe.

LORD WENGER FOR PRESIDENT.

That should sort it.

(c) Tony Attwood 2009

16 comments to Lord Wenger for President

  • shotta-gunna

    LOL. You, sir Tony, are are genius.

  • Marc

    Tony – I have a question regarding the 90 minute rule and I’m wondering whether either yourself or another poster can answer it for me. Imagine if you had a son aged 12 – 14 who was registered with a local club’s academy based in the West Midlands and you decide that you want your son to join Arsenal’s academy. If you relocated your family to Hertfordshire within 90 minutes of Arsenal but several hours from his existing club what happens? Does your son have to stay registered to his existing club, would Arsenal or any other London club for that matter have to pay a fee?

    I just think this rule is ridiculous. I have no problem with clubs receiving fees for players they have developed, in fact I think that it is very important but if a family moves to another part of the country how can you tie a child to “contract”. Surely this is a form of slavery (stupid word to use but Blatter started it!), a way of limiting someones freedom of movement and is this not against the EU’s Human Rights laws?

  • Gf60

    Good point Marc. Be interested to see the answer…doubtless the FA will just say “Good question. Next question?”

    On a similar vein, assume there is the “new” Pele/Maradona/Bobby Moore living in Lands End, Cornwell. Presumably he can’t even sign on for Exeter?

  • Gf60

    Sorry, make that Plymouth. (Better football and closer but not close enough.)

  • Did you see the news, dear Tony, that Liverpool can only spend a maximum of £20M a year for the next 4 years?

    I feel thatìs good news for Liverpool. Or should I stay it would be good for Liverpool if they’d actually adhere to this policy.

    I know the football world thinks it’s very bad news. That just shows how much Abramovich and CSKA Fulham have corrupted football.

    £20M a season is a lot of money, since you can always sell a player, add a couple of millions and buy a replacement.

    The real bad news for Liverpool is that they have Ben E. Tez who’s simply poo in the transfer market and would probably end up spending the £20M on a full back who shouldnt cost more than £7M to a sane manager.

  • Moving whole families is, I believe, quite a big issue. I read in reports at the time that the Lord Wenger went to see Clichy’s parents and spent time with them, because they were concerned about his future, and we know from the way Ramsey was signed that AFC pays a lot of attention to family detail.

    But when it comes to relocating to fit within the 90 minute rule then all sorts of questions are asked. There are stories of whole families being relocated, the father being given a job in the new city, etc etc.

    I don’t know where the rules begin and end (remember I am the guy who yesterday asserted that Gibbs was 87 years old when he signed for us) but all rules are by-passed one way or another, and I can’t see how they can stop relocation.

    Presumably you relocate and have the kid sign the deal at the same time.

    Certainly if you saw Jack Wilshere and he was in Plymouth, the cost of relocating the family to Hertford would be nothing compared with the bonus of having the boy in the squad.

    But I would add one note of perspective. One of my three daughters turned out to be a talented musician, and we moved the family home to be closer to a school where she could get the right sort of education to help maximise her talent. Much the same thing, I would have said.

  • Faron

    Wouldnt Clubs Just have more feeder clubs dotted around the country. If Cheltenham became Arsenals feeder club for example and Arsenal were aware of some young potential in Cheltenhams catchment area, they could put them in the smaller clubs Academy. And then properly sign him when he becomes 18.

    Just an idea of a possible loop hole Big teams might think of.

  • TJ

    It feels like this is an attempt by the FA to limit the big clubs stealing developing talent from smaller clubs, but they are taking great opportunities away from the most talented young players.

    As Tony mentioned, both young talents and their parents know that for kids to reach their potential, they need to be taught/coached by the best. Maybe the upside to this will be a better family situation for those kids who do relocate. But what about those whose parents can’t afford to relocate?

    It’s a tough line to walk for kids between the professional aspects of footballing and the importance of family development.

  • lordgunner

    simple for the ” 90MN rule” buy a jet plane and voila 😛 in 90mn you can be everywhere in England.
    more seriously wenger have already point that you can bring young players from abroad in the academy but no English one who live not near enough the club.how a rule cant so stupid and so unfair to some youngster .like if you living in Lincoln but you cant go to oxford university because it s too far.
    and it is unfair to some smaller team who have to challenge some bigger team to bring young player in their academy :”OK boy , you have to choose spurs,arsenal ,barnet or luton academy”.I ll bet the best will choose us or spurs.same in the area where lot of club are concentrate,the kid will chose always the best team with the best academy.so that rule is more a bad thing for smaller team

    as for wenger for president , he will get my vote.And before they decide if Notts county owner are fit to run the club we should decide if they fit enough to run English football.

  • LRV

    I don’t see what right FIFA can claim to have to stop families if they desire to move. If I, for example, wish to move my family to another area and subsequently register my child at a football academy of my choice at my new place, whose law will stop me? All they need is just one family to stand up to them, even sue them, for all of their stupid rules to crumble like a pack of cards. People have changed rigid laws in the past – Bosman rule comes to mind. They will fight if it comes to the future of their children.

  • LRV

    Sorry! I meant to say FIFA, UEFA or FA.

  • Marc

    The general discussion of here shows just how disjointed the running of football in England is. There is also the other side to my earlier question. I live with my family in Manchester and I don’t want to be shot do I decide to move to London, I’ve already found a job, sold my house and bought another. What happens to my 14 year old son who is in ManU’s academy? Does he have to stay living in Manchester because under 18 players cannot be traded? Can he resign from the ManU academy but can’t sign up to another club until he turns 18 and therefore miss the most important part of his development?

    The situation is a joke. If we want to develop the best players we need to deregulate the market and allow the best academies to attract the best young players. This will encourage clubs to put more money into youth development and spend less on daft, unsustainable transfer fees. As long as clubs are reimbursed for players who move on whats the problem.

  • pig

    the whole 90 minute thing is a joke. it is fairly obvious that the FA have it backwards. they want young players to join small, lower league teams, and work their way up.

    in reality these young players want to join a big club straight off. and most of them will work their way down to the level that suits them.

    this has to be the right way. give the teams with the best facilities the pick of the bunch. these players will then have a much better chance of succeeding.

    how could the FA object to the top clubs in the country turning out excellent home grown talent?

    i personally reckon that if there is going to be a market, it should be a completely free market with rules regarding compensation. i also believe the FAs should all stay out of it unless arbitration is needed.

  • walter

    Whatever rules they find out, Wenger will give us something extra and will look for a way to bring the best youngsters to Arsenal.
    The 90 minutes rule looks crazy. If your kid is wanted by Arsenal (or any other club) how can you stop parents to move closer to London ? And indeed if you play for a club and the parents move away for the job of one of them…. what happens to the kid then ? This can only give problems and will give problems.
    This just is a sign of the times for me. I am the first to agree that every civilezed society needs rules, but for the moment it is case of “regulitis” as they say in our country. Every detail in society must be ruled. And the rule makers forget that with every rule they make, they just create new problems which they will solve…. with new rules and so on and so on.

  • Jazbo

    You can have Arsene Wenger for president but i want Tony Attwood for priminister.

    Another great artical, seriously i’d vote for you !!!

  • Marc
    September 24th, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    The general discussion of here shows just how disjointed the running of football in England is. There is also the other side to my earlier question. I live with my family in Accra and I don’t want to be shot do I decide to move to Ghana, I’ve already found a job, sold my house and bought another. What happens to my 14 year old son who is in liberty academy? Does he have to stay living in Accra because under 18 players cannot be traded? Can he resign from the liberty academy but can’t sign up to another club until he turns 18 and therefore miss the most important part of his development?

    The situation is a joke. If we want to develop the best players we need to deregulate the market and allow the best academies to attract the best young players. This will encourage clubs to put more money into youth development and spend less on daft, unsustainable transfer fees. As long as clubs are reimbursed for players who move on whats the problem