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Campbell, Vela, Cesc, lies: its “Ask a stupid question day”

PS: Yes I know you don’t normally have a PS at the start, but this is a long article and I doubt anyone will get to the end, so here’s the PS.  By chance I have a spare ticket for tuesday night’s game, upper tier, north end above Red Action.  If you would like to sit next to the editor for Untold Arsenal, it will cost you £46.  Call 01536 399 013 between 9am and 5pm or 07714 76 2250 after that up to 8pm.

Carlos Vela going to Xerez?

September 28 is Ask a Stupid Question Day (honest, put it in Google and see).  So I’m just quoting from yesterday’s papers.

You may not have heard about Xerez, or indeed may assume that they are a form of 2D photocopier sponsored footballers, as indeed did I until I watched them put up a “plucky” display against Real Mad on TV last week.  (Ronaldododododo scored after 3 seconds).  They are in the first division in Spain for the first time ever, and given the way they play probably the last time ever.

But on Sunday lots of news sites started running this story (the actual text below comes from Yahoo’s sports news, but it is identical to Sky and most of the others.)

“Carlos Vela is a shock target for newly promoted Primera Division side Xerez, according to reports.

“Sky Sports comments that the Mexican striker, who has been on the periphery of the Gunners first-team squad in recent years, and has failed to hold down a starting slot since joining the London club in 2005.

“Following the departure of Emmanuel Adebayor to Manchester City, Vela hoped to feature more regularly in the side, but has only managed a substitute appearance in the Carling cup versus West Bromich Albion.

“As a result, the 20-year old is desperate for a loan move, and after previous spells at Osasuna and Salamanca, La Liga would be the preferred choice.

A spokesperson for the Spanish side commented, “We are looking to bring in a forward who can stop the lack of goals in the team.

“We are assessing our options in the European market and it is possible that Carlos [Vela] may arrive in the winter market.”

You will of course recognise a couple of gaps in this story and moments of wild whimsy.

First off there is the notorious “according to reports” bit.  Whose reports?  Well, yes, whose?  My aunt Doris possibly, although my cat is more likely.   Translate “according to reports” and you come up with “I just made this up.”
“Who has been on the periphery of the Gunners first-team squad in recent years” – is a slimy bit of writing, since he joined us as a kid, and has been nurtured through the ranks from the start.
“Following the departure of Emmanuel Adebayor to Manchester City, Vela hoped to feature more regularly in the side, but has only managed a substitute appearance in the Carling cup versus West Bromich Albion.”

Except, that tiny detail that he was injured playing for Mexico, and actually came back to play against Western Bromwich as the first match he could play.  And having made his appearance he was wisely given time to recover before playing again.  The Fulham match just four days later was hardly the right place.

“As a result, the 20-year old is desperate for a loan move, and after previous spells at Osasuna and Salamanca, La Liga would be the preferred choice.”

OK now here I don’t actually have any inside information about the state of Carlos’ mind, but would he really like a loan spell to a club so far down the bottom of the league in Spain that they make Portsmouth look positively successful?

“A spokesperson for the Spanish side commented, “We are looking to bring in a forward who can stop the lack of goals in the team.   We are assessing our options in the European market and it is possible that Carlos [Vela] may arrive in the winter market.”

So no one actually said, “we have made a bid for Vela” then.   In fact it is more than likely that the whole quote is invented by the “spokesperson” who was talking to the “source”.  Or rather my cat talking to the guys who are doing community service down the road by painting the railings following an unsuccessful raid on the pet shop.

As if this were not enough the Sunday Excess seems to think that it is time to run another “Cesc is going to leave” story.

Oh give me strength.  Or ask a stupid question – like, why does anyone buy the Excess?  I suppose it is because they still think Hitler is living in Argentina.

So one might turn and look elsewhere for light relief – except that on Friday I heard a football correspondent on Radio 5 say something along the lines that Sol Campbell hears voices in his head which tell him to do things.

It was a really nasty, sniveling, snide comment of the type that one is finding more and more on Radio 5.

Of course just as I have no inside info on Carlos Vela, I have no idea of the mental state of Sol Campbell and I am as aware as anyone that when he suddenly announced he could not go on, half way through a match against West Iceland for Arsenal, there was talk that his mental state was upset.

If that is the case then we should all be sorry for the guy, as we should be for anyone who suffers from depression or any other mental illness.  While it somehow might seem manly to break a leg playing football, mental illness is still seen as something to make fun of or to treat lightly.  And this despite the fact that at some stage in their lives over one third of UK citizens will be seriously incapacitated by a mental illness, and the fact that the chances of them getting suitable treatment when it does happen is far less than if they had any physical problem.

But laughing at Sol and pointing the finger at him seems to be the order of the day, along with making up stories about Carlos and Cesc.

We can dismiss the stories easily, but there is something to be said about Notts County.

You will recall that Notts County was a team which was rescued by the fans who took over the club, raised a small fortune to pay off debts, and ran it well.

Then they were persuaded to give all their shares away.  Give is the key here.  And give to very rich people indeed.  No reason has ever been given as to why they had to give the shares away rather than sell, but they agreed.   They gave them to… well who exactly?

No one knows because the company behind the deal remains secret.  The League apparently has been given some data, but no one else has, and the club still hasn’t been told that the owners have passed the laughable fit and proper person test.

And maybe they won’t because now we find that Russell King, the leading man that we know about in Qadbak, who seem to be the shady characters who own the oldest league club in the world has had £1.9m of his assets frozen by the financial court in Jersey over an unpaid debt.

Meanwhile Sven of the Eriksson has acknowledged that part of the deal that took him to Notts C is that he has to work for Swiss Commodity Holding AG, as well as Notts.  And would you know it, Sol Campbell was told that as part of his job he had to work for SCH as well.

But for this deal to work Swiss Commodity Holding AG has to be floated on the stock market so that everyone who owns shares (Sol, Sven etc) can make a fortune overnight.

It was supposed to happen in June – July at the latest.  But… oh my what a surprise.  It didn’t.

Now here’s a funny thing.  The Jersey court was told that Russel King was part of a company called Belgravia which tried to buy Newcastle U before going bust.  Mr King denies he was involved in any way other than as an investor.

And today a spokesbeing has cleared it all up by giving the names of two Indian families who supposed own a bit of a company that owns a bit of a company that someone else owns and which might own a bit of Notts County.  And then they suggest that this makes everything all right.

And here we are again.  I don’t really know about Carlos, or Sol and of course I don’t know what the hell is going on with Notts County, but as sure as anything it can’t be dismissed by running nasty stories about the state of Sol Campbell’s mind.

What connects such stories with Carlos Vela and Cesc?   There is one thing.  It too is rather nasty, but one has to mention it sometimes.

Football Journalism.

Except of course that I found some of these bits (such as the stuff about what happened in Jersey) in a paper.  Written by journalists.

Rather buggers up my argument that.   Ah well, just go and enjoy “ask a stupid question day”.

(c) Tony Attwood 2009.

12 comments to Campbell, Vela, Cesc, lies: its “Ask a stupid question day”

  • Consolsbob

    I couldn’t agree more with your article Tony.

    It does seem that the ‘media’ has past the point of no return as regards possessing any credibility. Credulous would be the word to describe their seeming state of mind, except, we know, that the problem is far worse than that. They make the news, they are the news.

    A few weeks ago Flint was agreeing with me that he coulsdn’t stand to watch any sports programme these days because of the obviously loaded, and snide, agendas. It just keeps getting worse. I worked in Fleet St once, before it moved wholesale to Wapping. It was pretty slimy then, they didn’y call it ‘Grub St’ for nothing. Today though? OK we expect tosh from the ‘Sun’, ‘Express’, ‘Mirror’ and their ilk but now it’s everywhere. The BBC? Well. they seem to have set their sights high and are competing with SKY to promulgate the propaganda of the Liverpool mafia that seems to have a stranglehold on ‘punditry’ today.

    It’s sickening. Real concerns, Notts. Co., the clowns at UEFA, the looming debt crisis that threatens the foundations of once great clubs are ignored for cheap headlines and shallow digs.

    Open your windows and shout out loud,

    “I’m as mad as hell,

    and I’m not going to take this anymore!!”

  • LRV

    Apart from agreeing wholesomely with you, Tony, and mostly with you Consolsbob, the “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!!” shout doesn’t really help. I have shouted so many times that my wife had to ask if I wasn’t loosing it. She even asked jokingly how much Arsenal were paying me to love them so much. Anyway, since Tony (I think it was him. Sorry if it’s not) once advised that the best thing to do was to ignore them. I have tried to. I don’t read the papers anymore; I only listen to foreign news, etc, etc. Even so, these nonsense still filters through to me. So I guess we have no way of avoiding such crap save taking over the Media. If we opt to do that, where will the money come from? So you see, as bad or worse as it gets, we have to find a way to live with it.

  • IndianGooner

    Nice article and the comments from Consolsbob and LRV. I’ve stopped taking all the media crap seriously long back. I see these as ‘Jokes’ these days… Its really funny if you try to read it as a joke..

    LRV, try reading them as a joke and I’m sure you’ll feel better. You can’t avoid them always.. So its better to have a different perspective!!!

  • LRV

    The Radio 5 blockheads are getting quite a reputation for nastiness aren’t they. I don’t know if it is true but someone told me that even Ian Wright works there. if it is true, then I really pity him. Some people do really have short memories, don’t they?

    As for you Xerez Club or whatever name they call you, not you or any-club-else is qualified to get Vela. Don’t even dream it. You may nightmare it though. Plunkers.

  • walter

    Well if it can give you some consolation… it is a world wibe item. That is if you call my country world wide.
    For instance the “Cesc leaving” story also comes across to my country and then our newspapers spread the news that I have read some hundred times before on the internet and on goonernews. It is just copy and pasting rubbish from other newspapers.
    When I try to comment on those articles and let them now that Cesc for the X million time has denied he is moving on arsenal.com, my articles dont pass the censor. Must say I use rather harsh word to show them how dumb they behave so it might be the style I use but even when I say it in a rather nice way it still disapears in the black hole that is very near the internet.

    Yes we can try to laugh with them but although I really like to laugh a lot in my live, you sometimes really have enough of it and yes one would like to shout like consolbob suggests.

  • LRV

    I am really sorry to go off topic, but I read this, “Jermain Pennant – Wenger is a better manager than Benitez, but the hype at Arsenal was too much!”, on justarsenal.com and I thought “Uhnnn…! I wonder how many people has read this?”

  • LRV

    Error, sorry; meant to say – “Uhnnn…! I wonder how many people have read this?”

  • Marc

    Nic piece Tony and the comments pretty much say all that can be said.

    Good news on the new financial figures releases today.

  • reality check

    bendtner out of champions league clash cz of a car crash. i think wenger will use this as an excuse to drop him from the squad for a few games same as almunia. bendtner need to score other wise he’ll find himself warming the bench for the most part of the season as he is in competition with players like eduardo,tomas and walcot

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Good post again, Tony .I tend to agree with the comments here.I do ignore most of the crap being printed or voiced on tv/radio but sometimes it does
    get tiresome.While I don’t shout out of windows or from rooftops ,I do vent
    my anger at the tv pundits [especially at those closet fans of Spuds,ManUre
    or Liverfools ]with choice words ;the kindest being idiot or moron.My wife too has questioned my sanity but then again in the words of Bill Shankly ,
    “Football is not about life and death -its more important than that”.
    Can you even imagine life without football ?

  • walter

    No Brickfields Gunners, I can’t. Would be boring. But I guess my wife wouldn’t mind. 😉

  • walter

    In fact Brickfields Gunners, that was a very stupid question you asekd but then again… it was ask a stupid question day..;-)