Arsenal News
Arsenal News & Transfers
As featured on NewsNow: Arsenal newsArsenal News 24/7

Arsenal News, Only Arsenal, Blogs, Transfer News

Archives

November 2017
M T W T F S S
« Oct    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  

Bored and Annoyed in Times of International Football (and a song))

—————————————–

And yes, at last, Untold Arsenal has been quoted by Arsenal.com on their Media Watch with a link to the Jenkinson article.  Billion congrats to Walter on another first.

—————————————–

Bored and Annoyed in Times of International Football

 

By Gooneraside

Yes, like many of you, I’m bored with this absence of real football. And I’m annoyed, but, I suspect, no more annoyed than most of you.

Right now, just when we, The Arsenal, are in the middle of one terrific run of results, when we look forward eagerly to each forthcoming match, not only to see a game of beauty from our boys but also anticipating at least one upset by one of the media-favoured teams, they make us wait on tenterhooks while national teams with no chance of winning the upcoming competition play each other to see which one will gain a little money. And don’t get me started about overpaid national team mis-managers showing that they were really working while attending (for free, I don’t doubt) all those matches and then tweaking their team selection for some useless friendly when they already know their final selection (injuries and red cards excepted).

I feel better after that rant, so I’ll come to the main reason for this piece of prose. Just what can we do during these times of boredom? How can we make them pass quicker?

Of course, we can read blogs. And I do. Untold, of course, and a few others of my favourites. I thank those fine writers (you know who you are) who produce something of interest every or nearly every day and also those who do the same thing less regularly. Even comments are often worth checking out, although I do find amusing the self-glory that some assume by writing the first comment often without firstly reading the blog. More amusing is “First” written unwittingly in the second comment. After my favourite blogs, I even started looking at others until I found I’d typed in “Le G”. I shuddered, murmured “Forgive me, Lord Wenger, for I have nearly sinned” and stopped.

I started reading from my library of The Arsenal books but realised that, for example, reviewing the history produced by Geoffrey Mowbray in celebration of the 75th anniversary of the club couldn’t compare with the thrill of remembering recent great plays by our boys, especially their goals. Robin’s third against Chelsea and Cech’s useless attempt to stop it is a case in point.

So I decided that I might cure the boredom somewhat and show my appreciation to those who wear the shirt by producing a song for them. Danny Graft has no need to feel the slightest concern – his anthem is far superior although my effort will have a tune.

I considered the title Our Team to the tune of Our House but realised that would be Madness (sorry), so decided on Green Grow the Rushes. For any of you not familiar with this song, there are versions on YouTube – threelegsoman does a reasonable one. I’ll wait while you check it out.

Ah, you’re back. So here goes with the first verse:

 

I’ll bring you one, ho.

Clean flow the passes, oh.

What is your one, ho?

One is Song who plays alongside Frimpong for The Arsenal-oh.

 

Well that’s a start. Incidentally, the ho’s you’ll see are meant in the manner of Yo, ho, ho! And not Yo’ momma’s a ho!

You’ll have noticed that the original second verse makes reference to lilly-white boys and that has allusions to that lot up the road and has to go.

 

I’ll bring you two, ho.

Clean flow the passes, oh.

What is your two, ho?

Two to the fast, wide boys, Gervinho and Theo,ho!

One is Song who plays alongside Frimpong for The Arsenal-oh.

 

I’ll bring you three, ho.

Clean flow the passes, oh.

What is your three, ho?

Three, three is Sagna-ho!

Two to the fast, wide boys, Gervinho and Theo,ho!

One is Song who plays alongside Frimpong for The Arsenal-oh.

 

The verses in the original relating to numbers four to twelve are really too short to include enough detail so I decided to lengthen them, almost to the style of line two – I think it works. And I’m sure you don’t need nor want  to have to read each individual verse – anyway, I’m not trying to outdo Swiss Rambler – instead here are the relevent lines.

 

Forward passes made much better by Rambo, Beny and Arteta,

Five youths on the door do knock, Jenks, Gibbs, Ox, Ryo and Coq,

Six foot six at the back, with Kos and Verm is Mertesack,

Seven per season flashes of heaven from Rosicky and owl Arschavin,

Eight legs subbing front and back, Santos, Park, Djorou, Chamakh,

Doctor’s orders cure little Jack, but will Diaby ever be back?

Tension every time appear, Squillaci or Almunia,

Eleven, two poles between two poles, Fabi and Szczes fulfil those roles,

Twelve, yes we’ve got a twelfth man – not the ref but all the fans,

 

Yes, I know that some of those rhymes are rather laboured but that’s the best I could manage in one break. And yes, I know, there’s somebody missing. Or maybe there’s more than one person missing – I apologise if there are others. I just couldn’t resist finishing the song in the same way that Jimmie Rodgers did in 1962 with English Country Garden. You can YouTube that song too if you wish, although you’ll have to put up with nearly three minutes of pure schmaltz before that ending. Here’s the twelfth verse and ending in entirety.

 

I’ll bring you twelve, ho.

Clean flow the passes, oh.

What is your twelve, ho?

Twelve, yes, we’ve got a twelfth man – not the ref but all the fans,

Eleven, two poles between two poles, Fabi and Szczes fulfil those roles,

Tension every time appear, Squillaci or Almunia,

Doctor’s orders cure little Jack, but will Diaby ever be back?

Eight legs subbing front and back, Santos, Park, Djorou, Chamakh,

Seven per season flashes of heaven from Rosicky and owl Arschavin,

Six foot six at the back, with Kos and Verm is Mertesack,

Five youths on the door do knock, Jenks, Gibbs, Ox, Ryo and Coq,

Forward passes made much better by Rambo, Beny and Arteta,

Three, three is Sagna-ho!

Two to the fast, wide boys, Gervinho and Theo,ho!

One is Song who plays alongside Frimpong for The Arsenal-oh.

 

Robin, don’t forget the Robin, Robin, Cap. van P. is Robin.

 

So there we have it. If you’ve got any ideas to improve the song (without changing the squad), feel free to comment. But don’t take too long – for did not the Chinese philosopher, Wun Hung Lo, say “Man who tries to forecast future football team has vision obscured by murky transfer windows.”

At least I’m not now bored. But I’m annoyed again – I can’t get that first verse out of my head now!

 

—————————————–

 

——————————-

Untold Arsenal – the (fairly) complete index

Untold Arsenal on Facebook here

 

14 comments to Bored and Annoyed in Times of International Football (and a song))

  • Gooneraside

    Second!

  • Sammy The Snake

    Untold moving to poetry… Nice!

  • WalterBroeckx

    on to read the post First! 😉

  • WalterBroeckx

    Gooneraside, as a non English person I checked the you tube video. A lovely clip and I tried to sing along with your version. But then someone just shouted to shut up. But it wasn’t your words, just my voice. 😉
    I had never heard of this song before but can imagine that it was a great song to sing with other people and would make sure that a lot of fun could be made.

    I don’t know why, but I loved your 12th the best….

  • Mihir

    My apologies for this being a off-topic…
    I feel that Le Grove has improved. I really liked their piece on the medical facilities at Arsenal! I believe that Milan Lab are the pioneers in using both medical technology and stats to extend the careers of several of their stalwarts and its good to see Arsenal getting into the act.

  • slim

    Haha this might be slightly off-topic but Untold’s made an appearance on Arsenal.com’s Media watch section thanks to Walter’s brilliant little piece on a certain Carl Jenkinson.

  • Iniez

    Haha “Man who tries to forecast future football team has vision obscured by murky transfer windows” love that.

    @Mihir, I wouldn’t get too excited about le grove, if it wasn’t for occasional praise they would have more spuds than a sack of potatos

  • Mihir, on the day when Arsenal.com has linked to an Untold article for the first time that is so off topic that I am speechless.

    But still smiling over how happy I know Walter is that it is his article that made the breakthrough.

  • @ Gooneraside, it’s okay if you read Le Grove sometimes you know? Knowing the enemy camp’s strategy helps at times.

    @Mihir, Le Grove has actually improved, i noticed it too, but only because we’re winning, a fairweather blog will be more apt.

  • Gooner Gal

    @Gooneraside – you really are bored! I agree that Danny Graft Arsenal tune is a modern day classic. You have a little way to go yet.

    I watched a very interesting 1-0 match on Saturday….yes that would be the FA Cup match between Basingstoke and Brentford! It was a tense affair with Basingstoke coming very close to a ‘giant killing’ moment. It was end to end stuff and you could sense the Basingstoke team gave everything and if it wasn’t for quite a few last ditched lucky clearances by Brentford, they could of won it. The Basingstoke team, had a squad which looked like they were on average 35 -42 yrs old lived the dream and were deservedly applauded off the pitch.

    As for the other 1-0 match, England looked like they were played off the park. Even though England won, its hard to revel in the victory as it was far from a resurgent England, demonstrating how far they have come since the 2010 WC. The midfield players were sloppy, slow, lacked vision and failed to provide service to Darren Bent. It’s strange that one of them was crowned MotM! I am glad Theo came off at 1/2 time(I hope he is not injured), if Cappello doesn’t know how to get the best out of him by now, he never will.

    Rather than read sad blogs like Le Grave you could read this website called Stone Cold Arsenal. The posts are a bit irregular, but as they are well written it doesn’t matter. http://www.stonecoldarsenal.com/

    You could also alternatively ponder the following questions: –

    Q1: If John Terry is pictured standing or jogging next to a mixed race or black person does that mean he isn’t racist and should regain the captaincy?

    Q2: Will the last bit of prestige go from the England managerial position when Harry ‘rent a quote’ Rednapp is named boss?

    Q3: Will ol’Harry turn up court like an old mafia boss (with a mask,tubes and machine)? Then leap from his chair when he gets a suspended sentence?

    Q4: Why is Roy Hodgson not been sounded out for the England job? Surely he deserves an MBE for doing as well as he did at Liverpool with hardly any money and the players he had available?

  • Gooner Gal

    Lastly I forgot to say that Lescott was my MotM. He was very assured in defence and confident playing in front of Hart.

    Cesc who????? I have no malice towards Cesc, so when I say Cesc who? I mean that I just don’t care what he has to say right now. Of course it is better that he is respectful to the club that shaped him into the world class player he is today, unlike Adebayor, but he is still a coward and left under dishonourable circumstances. Right now the club are working hard to clean up the mess left behind.

    Also Darren Dein is fantastic opportunist. England Vs Spain = RVP contract neg rumours in the press. I just can’t get whipped up into a frenzied state about it. If he stays great! If he goes – fair play to him as he will be almost 30 when his contract is up. I hope this year is a classic and he goes out on a high. he has been a great servant to the club but I am sure what ever we offer, junior will use it as a negotiation tool with other prospective clubs for more. It’s best we don’t play our hands early and make junior work harder for his fee.
    Tevez seems to of been pushed too far, so Man C could well be on the look out for a top goal scorer very soon.

  • Gooneraside

    Thanks, all, for the comments – sorry I didn’t get back quicker.

    @9jagunnerdoc, enemy’s camp? I regard them not as enemies, more as supporters who’ve only had to support through thick and not thin. I just don’t find Le Grove entertaining nor instructional.

    @GoonerGal, Sounds like you watched the best game of the weekend. Cesc? I believe he’s gone to a team that won’t win all that was expected of them from a team that just might win more than was. Stone Cold? Is this blog by Stone Cold Steve Austin who did Fridays on Leftfoot’s blog? And one question for you – would it be politically correct to say that all politicians are black-hearted?

  • Gooneraside

    Wow, what a boob. Stone Cold Steve Austin is a wrestler. But Darius Stone did (or still does?) write for A Cultured LeftFoot.

  • Gooner Gal

    @ Gooneraside, yes it was a good game. I can appreciate ‘agricultural football’ in the right instance and appropriate level. But I am still a bit restlessly waiting for the next Arsenal game.

    Regarding Cesc, It will be interesting how much he will feature for Barca in a year or so. Most Farca headline buys, get played in there first year, it’s the second year that really determines how intergrated the player is into the set up. Especially if like you say, they don’t win everything this year.

    Yes, I do think it is the same guy, but I will admit I have only recently started reading the Stone Cold Arsenal blog. And I can confirm that there are no oiled up wrestlers or discussions about WWE anywhere on the blog. Which may disappoint some. ACLF now has another person ‘one of us’ who writes a great guest post on Fridays. I always try to look at that on Fridays because he always has fresh perspective or dimension to things going on in the Arsenal world.

    I’ve had this debate recently with a few people. I don’t believe all politicians are bad and I don’t think it is fair that in recent times that all are brand corrupt in such broad brush terms. I do however think the balance has tipped and there are far too many examples of morally bankrupt, self serving career politicians who are slowly but surely eroding society and democracy. But there are still individuals who are trying to effect change from within the political system and who take their responsibility as nominated spokesperson for a group of people seriously.