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Pest Control – Adebayor

By Sir Toby Belch

Roberto Mancini has become the latest manager to tackle the growing problem of unwanted pests about the ground, and his actions have put journalists on high alert.

He has taken what insiders call a “stance” and what those in the know call “a hardline stance” over what footballing journalists call “The Adebayor Question”, a question to which those of us really in the know, know there is no answer.

Mr Adebayor, best known perhaps for stamping on players faces and running the length of a pitch to taunt fans in a manner likely to cause the breach of the police, has been “playing” with Tottenham Hotspur.

Roberto Mancini is said to have agreed a £5.5 million fee with the Hotspurs for the man from Togo.  Mr Adebayor, last seen strolling up and down White Hart Lane, while earning a sum that would make many people go weak at the whatnots.  Mr Adebayor has not commented on his newly found “Pest” status.

Now it seems Mr Adebayor – who has always claimed that he did the face stamping bit for free (“it was gratuitous” he claimed) has said he sees no reason why he should accept a salary less than the one that Mr Redknapp (unemployed, of Sandbanks Road, Poole, Dorset) agreed with him for his loan.

Mr Adebayor, having been officially designated as a “pest” has not been included in the squad for Manchester City’s pre-season matches.   Roque Santa Cruz, who is also deemed surplus to requirements but is not designated in the role of “Pest”, is being encouraged to get match fit.

Thus is the way it goes for Pests.

“I am sorry for Adebayor,” said Mr Mancini, although the level of belief that others have in that statement is limited, especially as Mr Mancini was giggling at the time.  “He has no chance at City.”   This of course is quite possibly an ambiguous statement and so Mr Mancini added. “He has absolutely no chance of playing this season here.”

Mr Adebayor cost City £26 million when he joined from Arsenal in 2009.  He earns £8.5 million a year, so has actually cost Manchester City over £51,000,000 so far, and still counting – although of course some of that rather amusingly has been paid by Real Mad and Tottenham Hotspur.  If Mr Adebayor decides to stay at Manchester City he will continue to cost them £8.5m a year.  It is believed that the presence of Mr Adebayor at Manchester City is a problem.  It is also believed that no one will touch him with a barge pole.

 Ordinary is Pointless

If you find you have an Adebayor in the house, best thing is to call the council.

——————————

 

46 comments to Pest Control – Adebayor

  • another Chris

    Adebayor:City perfect match haha

  • bj.soul_uk@gunner

    lmao…dis very interesting. up gunners

  • bj.soul_uk@gunner

    Adebayor “the pest”…hahah

  • Legoon

    City bought the title they have shit history
    And deserve bankruptcy adebayour is a mercanery
    The two deserve each othet

  • Frank Ewing

    It serves Mancini well. He has the managerial habit of over-prizing players away from the clubs and ofeering them outrageous wages just to lure the players. Because the money is not coming from his pocket, he feels he can buy any player whether the players merits that salary or not. That no club is prepared to pay Adebayor that huge salary is eloquent statement of the egregious bargains Mancini makes. If Mancini continues unchecked, he’ll ruin European football. Sooner or later, he’ll bankrupt the clob owner with his unmitigated and inordinate appetite for over-prizing players. Let him live with Adebayor.

  • Frank Ewing

    It serves Mancini well. He has the managerial habit of over-prizing players away from their clubs by ofeering them outrageous wages. Because the money is not his, he feels he can buy any player with uncompetitive salary. That no club is prepared to pay Adebayor that huge salary is eloquent statement of the egregious bargains Mancini makes. If Mancini continues unchecked, he’ll ruin European football. Sooner or later, he’ll bankrupt the club with his unmitigated and inordinate appetite for over-prizing players. He doesn’t want to develop players like other big clubs. He just waits for Arsenal to develop and he prizes the player away, knowing that the player cannot resist the attractive salary he offers him. Now, that indiscretion has come to hunt him with Adebayor.

  • Kozy

    That is Man City and Mancini problem let them face it. Overpricing player inorder to bring them to your club will definately result into this mess. This is a warning for Chelsea club too. BE WISE!

  • MJB

    I’m looking forward to a future Premier league where both the Manchester clubs go the way of Rangers. 😉

  • blueshy

    Really franky boy? You make a lot sense, excellent speech, fantastic analogy. Give your self a pat on the back. Oh hold on a second, ermmmm Mancini didn’t sign the pest, that was Hughes!! That just shat on your analysis. Next time think or do your research before you open your mouth, work on facts rather than talk out of your anus.

  • Mwangi kenya nakuru.

    Mancity saw Adebayo was good for them then and they pulled him from gunners with a promise of big salary. He have not lowered his playing standards and thus does not deserve a pay cut. Its a deal and thus even if if will warm the bench with nasri they must be paid. Man shity must pay for their pride. In any case they are rich as they boast. Swallow your own bullet.

  • Real mancs are blue.

    Lots of bitter comments on here. Adebayor was just another player your ‘holier than thou’ club couldn’t keep. A prized asset that isn’t good enough for city lol. You lot pay ridiculous season ticket prices, lose your best players to better clubs such as the champions and have been in decline for years, yet instead of pointing your anger and frustration at the French lesbian and the Americans to turn on ex players abd better clubs. The self righteousness of a club that snatches other teams best youth players bit sadly can’t keep hold of them once they become men is boring and pathetic.

    Enjoy next season looking at your empty trophy cabinet and empty wallet while preaching on the Internet about how other clubs have bo

  • Real mancs are blue.

    Bought the title hahahaha.

  • toye

    @Frank Ewing- Note Adebayor was not Mancini’s purchase, he was bought by Mark Hughes also was Bellamy, Santa Cruz,Shaun Wright Phillips e.t.c

  • Real mancs are blue.

     

    As for Mancini not wanting to develop players ….. Pretty sure we just bought a 21 year old yesterday, a 16 year old today and are in the process of building the biggest, best youth academy in the country. Don’t let the facts get on the way of your ‘ruining football’ preaching though eh 🙂

    In a way you’re right though, we are ruining football, for the likes of the arse ,The perennial runners up who have realised they can’t compete anymore .

  • chippy

    Hate to say it but the Spuds did get their moneys worth out of him though

  • Rog B

    What a shame, I find this post very Untold,almost Sunday Sport in its subject and content. What was the point of this post? First time that Untold has hit one below the belt,yes the post is funny… kind of, but for a website that continually reminds me of one of the few Arsenal blogs that likes to present itself as following the club in the ‘Arsenal way’, I find myself completely lost as to why why you would post this? Untold’s first post I have read that lacks any class…. what a pity

  • dan

    City/Ade both classless.

  • Shakabula Gooner

    Sir Toby,
    I suppose Ade can add winning 2011/12 EPL trophy and 2012 community Shield to his CV as a Man City player. That and £170k/week must be good enough reasons to run down the clock on his professional football career.
    Anyhow, as he reaches the conclusion that Mancini is not about to blink, I see him putting pen to paper with the Tots pretty soon. I look forward to his becoming so demotivated by the relative “pittance” Tots negotiate for his services that he resumes his strolling on the field and forgetting himself in offside positions a clear 1minute before ball is huffed upfield to him.

  • City4life

    I wish people would get there facts right before making stupid comments, Mancini wasn’t even in charge of city when they bought adebayor, that was mark hughes who signed him and Santa cruz!! Mancini has bought players like yaya toure, David silva, aguero, clichy, nasri, baloteli who have more than repaid there transfer fee over last season!!

  • arseternity

    city gave him the contract now they have to pay, good for adey
    he will never play for them again just like tevez love it anybody have sympathy for city what goes a\round

  • kemreid

    Brilliant!

  • colario

    At Rog B. I agree with you. In any case wasn’t Adebayor a Hughes’s buy and inherited by Mancini?

  • nicky

    I’ve said this for years now, that the advent of satellite
    TV, coupled with its associate, advertising,is solely responsible for the quite obscene wages paid to top class (LOL) football players today.
    Sir Toby draws attention that Adebayor, not the best or brightest in the dressingroom has cost Citeh £51,000,000 over the past 3 years. I need say no more.

  • dis serves city well, by d way they lure plyrs 2 their club,as they hv wsted a fortune on ade’ who i wl say hv nt contributed anything 2 their success.Rvp shd learn a gd lesson frm dis.

  • deejay

    adebayor is quite a good striker. If manshitty hadnt bought better players he would be an automatic choice. however it is nice to see arsenal ripping manshitty off by overpaying for ‘overated players’. like chelsea, manshittys ‘history’ has started a very few years ago. which is a lifetime in their ‘new’ supporters lives.

  • I do love it when a post that clearly points out that it has a certain modest level of humour behind it (as with, for example, the clue in the name of the author – Sir Toby Belch) and then some correspondents take it a little too seriously.

    I am really not too sure (for example) that the question of whether Mr Mancini signed Adebayor, or whether that awfully nice Mr Hughes did it, is much of an issue in relation to the player’s apparent demands for his salary.

    But anyway, after two articles headed “Pest Control” I rather think the series is worth continuing.

  • steve

    Barn Door is a text book greedy cunt..and because of this doesn’t deserve to play football. He isn’t worth £90,000 per week let alone the ludicrous wonga he earns at Citeh.

    I hope he fucking rots on a bench somewhere..

  • Good for city n they think buying players like adebayor who are only after money. ade will be fine to be in city jus to have this money at end of d day

  • Rog B – thanks for your thoughtful comments.

    Allow me to explain a little; the name Untold was chosen not only because I wanted to present a view of football from an Arsenal perspective that was not being presented elsewhere, but also because I felt there was nowhere where experiments in football writing could be carried out – and I wanted to offer such a forum.

    From quite early on we have had the Billy the Dog McGraw pieces which have often been quite surreal, and have often amused some and been heavily criticised by others. I still believe it is a highly valuable experiment to continue to explore these other areas of writing even though the “is this supposed to be funny?” type comments pour in each time we publish one such article.

    It does seem to me as editor that pointing to the more extreme actions of footballers is worthwhile; they are astoundingly well paid men who are in the public eye and are thus worthy of note. (In fact I seem to recall one of our earliest pieces in this vein involved pointing out some of the more bizarre and truly weird passages in the autobiography of Peter Crouch). However I would always utterly oppose any commentary on players private lives but their public lives are as open to commentary in all forms, I believe, as are the public lives of politicians.

    Untold has repeatedly railed against the acceptance of homophobic chanting at games, for example, and would never accept any comment about a players sexuality, but to comment on the behaviour of Adebayor in terms of his current actions over salary seems to be good because of the size of his pay packet, and his situation in which a club has bought him, and then finds it hard to move him on.

    It could be done as a serious piece, but to experiment with it in a slightly amusing way is interesting too.

    But there is one other point. Untold now publishes three or four articles a day – so it can maintain the original brief I declared for the site. But I can’t believe that any of us who write for and edit the site would ever expect anyone even to read, let alone agree with all we produce. We have the pro-Wenger standpoint, and a certain moral position, but beyond that, I do want us to keep on experimenting. When we stop doing that, we are no longer Untold.

  • Black Hei

    He might be seen as a greedy guy, but he sure does alot of charity work. http://www.emmanueladebayor.com/charity-work
    Heard he wanted to punish City by making them pump the transfer fee into charity.

  • Legion

    Man shitty are the scourge of football
    And wen the oil money goes they will be back
    Where they have always been……at best a mid table side.
    Arsenal arnt in decline football always goes in
    Cycles.its just shittys turn to have there couple
    Of seasons of fame.arsenals history shows
    We will always be there or there about.lets compare
    Trophy cabinets…….arsenals pisses over shittys

  • colario

    AT Tony, I am ll for humour and a good laugh at ManC. any time. However not at the cost of facts. Posts blaming Mancini for the Abe situation which he didn’t start and is beyond his control are below the standards we have come to expect from ‘Untold’
    OK its good you are prepared to publish wrong info from posters but for the sake of ‘Untold’s reputation for facts the wrong info needs to be corrected by someone if not a writer of ‘Untold’. I am all for humour 🙂

  • Preetam

    Seriously you guys should be banned from writing any more articles about poor Ade. He sacrificed his would be legendary status at arsenal to move to Man City so he could feed his Family, neighbours & entire country. Only he must have known the pain of running the entire pitch during the time he scored a goal against Arsenal to taunt the fans & imagine his discomfiture when he stamped on RVP. Poor Ade.

  • Elvis Senthil

    Decent article … However Untold articles have a reputation for having DEPTH in its scope and content. While humorous, some more research and analysis of his contract would have made the article better.

    @Tony: Nice to see lot of articles . Also good idea to experiment. 🙂

    BTW where can I get EPL news without BS and bias?
    BBC and ESPN are shit!

  • Adeshit stole all the playing boots from his teammates do you think he will survive for long??Watch this space

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Nice work ,Sir Toby ,your article has stirred the proverbial hornet’s nest and opened a can of worms, as well as bringing all manner of vermin out of the woodwork .Next they will be calling those who love your work as pestist !
    I never realised that there are so many who are offended by this ,as well as love “poor” Ade so much .They should start a support group for him as well as for the other pests you will be bringing out in the open .You will be ,won’t you ?
    In the meantime , bug off you creeps !
    Goodnight Sir Toby ,sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite !

  • GroovT

    Man Shitty fans are just upset about this silly purchase!! This is Shitty alchemy: transforming gold in lead

  • elkieno

    Good article indeed. The point is that he left us for big money and is now stuck unable to leave and play, unless a pay cut happens. Not who bought him or didn’t, that’s a side note that the blue noses commentors are trying to use to rubbish the article. Bottom line is they buy who ever they want cos mOney is no object. When they won it last season did they secretly think ‘thank god we didn’t stuff it up’ or ‘yes we won, were championes etc’ cos for that much money a trophy is expected not dreamt bout then won like the rest of us. Same god Chelsea and UTD (except refs and money help them).
    This is an Arsenal blog for Gooners, if your offended, then bolt ya rocket!

  • Rog B

    Tony
    I am honoured that you have replied to me in person,thank you. Also thank you for a historical brief of the reasons behind Untold and what can I say? It’s your brief and your website so hats of to you of course feel free to publish whatever you want. I can only suppose that my reason for my ‘bedbug bite’ (thanks for that Brickfield) was because I liken Untold so closely to the club itself that I actually forget you are in fact an independent entity from Arsenal Football Club. I hold my hands up, I was wrong so off I walk gingerly with my tail wagging between my legs.

  • Oh man: “Adebayor was just another player your ‘holier than thou’ club couldn’t keep. A prized asset that isn’t good enough for city”

    Says it all really – a “prized asset” if you wanted to wind us up I’m afraid you just jumped the shark with that one Real mancs are blue. Just because we sold him for an absolute fortune to a club who were spunking cash at anyone The Sun told them to – doesn’t make him a prized asset.

    😉

  • Woolwich Peripatetic

    I think we’re being way too harsh on the Bank of Mancunia here. They bought a few players off us, many of whom they no longer want, in exchange for a huge wad of cash that we’ve used to compete with Chelsea for “greatest expenditure in the transfer market”, summer 2012. While they have basically bought no-one bar Rodwell and even that looks like a ploy to wind up Fergie…

  • Rog B

    P.s. I do like opening cans of worms though!

  • Sean

    Man City seem to be mostly concerned with depriving rival teams of their best players regardless of whether they have any direct use for them. Better to keep them on their bench than to have them playing against them. To a lesser extent Man Utd and Chelsea do this too – that’s why Fergie wants RvP he doesn’t want him scoring any more goals against his club now does he?
    Arsenal mostly buy from foreign clubs and Southampton, not from its immediate rivals.

  • colario

    Man City pay him far more than ny other club will pay him therefore he doesn’t to leave and happy to see out his contract. Are we not in the same position with the likes of Bentner and co? So who are we to laugh at Mancs dilemma?

  • Stuart

    Real Mancs Are Blue
    re 7.17

    When I was younger, my brother used to have to wear my old school trousers and other clothes, we called them hand me downs.

    They never looked as good on him as they did on me!

  • Jason Smith

    ROB B I so love a cocky man city fan that wins the title once in how many years? If you care to to take the preverbial head out of the the backside and reflect on what you have achieved, there is only one phrase “You bought the title”. As a yo yo club like West Ham enjoy your moment there is a certain thing called financial fair play kicking in, this may be the reason you couldn’t sign RVP, also the the fact RVP may have had a thread of decency and saw Man City for what they are over confident mancs with cash in the wallet. As an ardent Arsenal fan for over 30 years titles come and go, that is the joy of football, do us all a faour and get of that soapbox because each seaon brings a new outcome. Enjoy the banter as I think you have maybe 1-2 seasons worth. Also a big thanks to MUFC for the 20 million plus for RVP a great player shame it was only for 1 season.