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Swansea receives a visit from the Ice Man

By Billy the Dog McGraw

Arsenal make the long, long journey to Swansea this weekend.   Swansea, as you will of course know, is a diminutive principality situated on an island to the west of Scotland, which is under the control of the Suðurnes (formerly Reykjanes) region of Iceland.  [Billy, are you quite sure about this? Tony]

Situated in what was once a barren icefield, it is now home to a greater diversity of flora and fauna than anywhere else in the northern hemisphere except Plumstead.  The main towns are Sagna (the capital), Podolski (the western outpost) and Wilshere (gateway to the universe)  [This is going too far.  Don't we have anyone else to write our reviews? - Tony]

Hallo, met Dennis Bergkamp. Jammer genoeg kan Billy vandaag niet. Ik denk dat hij een beetje te veel van mijn aardappel wijn heeft gedronken. Tony heeft gevraagd of ik het even kon overnemen. [In English please Dennis - Tony]

Tony has asked me to take over.
[Did I? - Oh well, carry on.  Anyway what was all that potato wine stuff - Tony]
So, notwithstanding and therefore…

Sagna and Podolski are definitively not playing, and of course Wilshere is out as well.  Gibbs looks like he has had a little knock, but I think it was always expected that he would be pushed back into the game in Munich, and the glorious Monreal will come back for this match.

Everyone therefore is fit and raring to proceed although Vermaelen will be on the beach, as with Szychszcsznyz.

Question 1 (already answered) is therefore the keeper of the goal.  After a good performance by Fabianski I suspect he will stay put.

Across the back we will have…

Bob Dylan, Arlo Guthrie, Blind Willie McTell, Leadbelly.

[Those are all blues singers - can't we have some players - Tony]

You are so pedantic, Mr Editor.  Very well…

Monreal  Mertersacker, Koscielny Jenkinson

Ramsey Arteta

Cazorla

Walcott Giroud Oxlade Chamberlain (or Rosicky?)

But here’s a thought.  Supposing you took out Oxlade-C, moved Cazorla further forward and played Rosicky as the attacking midfielder?   Interesting eh?

Here’s the league table

4 (4) Chelsea 28 15 7 6 56 30 26 52
5 (5) Arsenal 28 13 8 7 53 32 21 47
6 (8) Liverpool 29 12 9 8 56 36 20 45
7 (6) Everton 28 11 12 5 44 35 9 45
8 (7) West Bromwich Albion 29 13 4 12 40 38 2 43
9 (9) Swansea City 29 10 10 9 40 36 4 40
10 (10) Fulham 28 8 9 11 39 44 -5 33

So Swansea have played one game more than we have but have seven points less.  And their goal difference is vastly inferior to out.

The man in the long black coat is Jon Moss who has reffed 16 games this season and given an average of over three yellows a game.

Swansea have won one of the three games this season between the two sides.  We have won one and we have had a 2-2 draw.  Swansea are proclaiming themselves the best footballing team in Iceland, sorry, Shetland.  [Don't you start]  They’ve got into Europe next season through the diddly cup and will not be relegational this year.

But for all their fluffy bluster they are not really playing the super fast quick movement buzzy attacky whizzo football that they like to think they play.  Indeed the Swansea of smoothness is (at least just now) a myth.   What is true is that they are unbeaten in their home city since 8 December.

Against the Greatest Team in the World, Except They Weren’t Last Week I thought Santi Cazorla and Theo Walcott were very good indeed.  But what we need to avoid is a game ending in two late goals like that which we saw at the Ems.  We need to dig a big hole on the pitch and let Michu fall into it. That would be my tactical plan, and I have told Mr W. so.  [Billy's seeing to it - Tony]

But we beat them in the cup so we can do it again and my prediction is that Mikel Arteta will foul someone.

On the bench (select some from…)

Szczesny, Mannone,  Vermaelen, Miquel, Diaby, Coquelin, Rosicky if he doesn’t play, Gnabry, Gervinho

And did you know Walcott and Cazorla have both scored 11 goals?  Thought you did.

Final though: six of the goals scored in games between Arsenal and Swansea this season have come in the closing 10 minutes.  So Arsenal to score in the first 30 seconds.  Have a jolly time.  See you all next season why I join the club once more.

Dennis

The books…

The sites from the same team…

 

 

 

 

 

 

39 comments to Swansea receives a visit from the Ice Man

  • avatar Rufusstan

    This is a fingers-crossed one. Looking at the run in I could see 4 games with the potential for things to go horribly wrong, this is the first.

    Perhaps the best tactic would be to hypnotize the players and give them the suggestion that they are still in Munich.

    More seriously, if we play even close to Wednesday’s level we should win. Its just that should seems a dangerous thing to say this year.

  • avatar Tasos

    Playing a mid-week Champions league tie away from home followed by another away match in the EPL is usually a recipe for a tough match. Energy levels can become drained, fatigue plays its part and conceding late goals, as we did against Swansea at the emirates, is a very real fear.

    However Swansea have already secured qualification for Europe next season through their fine League Cup victory and I suspect/hope they may, subconsciously, take there foot of the pedal.

    This is a huge match for Arsenal today.

  • avatar WalterBroeckx

    Off topic:
    Just saw Lee Probert being the usual **** by putting the ball outside the Everton penalty area when it was a blatant penalty for City a few minutes from the end.
    Fellaini was at least 2 meters inside the penalty area when he handled the ball. The Everton player just outside the penalty area didn’t handle the ball at all. Score was 1-0 at that time so a penalty would have made a big difference

    Or Mr. Probert is suffering an eye condition and this is not good for a ref or a certain Scotsman will be very pleased with this type of decisions.

  • Not a bad team prediction today:

    Fabianski

    Jenkinson, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal

    Arteta, Diaby, Oxlade-Chamberlain

    Cazorla

    Giroud Walcott

    Substitutes

    Szczesny, Vermaelen, Gibbs, Coquelin, Rosicky, Ramsey, Gervinho

  • avatar marcus

    A draw for Stoke today and they could be relegation fodder…….

  • avatar WalterBroeckx

    We did what they did at the Emirates: score late

    Viva Nacho
    Viva Gervinho

    And Aaron was majestic when he came one.

    Bad day for the haters

    And now off to do my own match as a ref. Sure in a good mood to leave home :)

  • avatar Tasos

    Come on you reds!

    Massive win!

  • avatar WalterBroeckx

    One final word: we could have played without a keeper today. did Fabianski had to make a save?

  • avatar Mandy Dodd

    The team emerge from a very tricky week with immense credit. Wengers shakeup seems to be paying dividends, we look a lot more solid. Competition within the team is key. Well done Gervinho, a confidence players if ever there was, that will do him no harm, and a Rambo asist by the sound of it. Hope the Nacho song was sung with gusto.
    Now, to hunt down those ahead of us. Both should win tomorrow, but one thing worth considering…..Cockney legends once sang of the Spuds “they’re going to do it like they did last year” or something along those lines……

  • avatar Gunz

    Good game! The team did well and Wenger showed good tactics again. COYG!

  • avatar Mandy Dodd

    Bad day for Liverpool……Arry and QPRs finances!

  • avatar bjtgooner

    Well done the Arsenal; two great performances this week when the pressure was really on. Keep it going guys.

  • avatar Adam

    Well done Arsenal.

    BJT, how goes it.

  • avatar SouthernGunner

    Very good result against a side who’ve caused a lot of problems
    for plenty of other teams this season.

    #COYG

  • avatar bjtgooner

    Adam, I have very little time just now, too much traveling with not enough time to enjoy football properly or even to tweak Rupert’s tail. However, I am pleased not just with the results but also with some of the football we have played this week.

    Also – enjoyed your article on third party ownership, I didn’t have time to leave a comment, but it was a good article in a good series.

  • avatar edda1971

    Thought Ox was superb in the first half today, bad luck for him he hit the woodwork twice! Great result to take into the two week break!

  • avatar Adam

    BJT, Thankyou, its all a work in progress. Happy traveling. Also I don’t think Rupert’s tail is going anywhere soon, it will be here on your return.

  • avatar dan

    Well done boyz, keep it up!

  • avatar Arun

    Our defense has looked very solid with kos and mert. Except the Robben 1 v 1 chance in the midweek and michu’s chance in the first half (though originated from our own mistake) ,our goal was barely threatened in the last 2 matches. Hopefully Wilshere will be back soon but I don’t think that we need him to start against Reading. If no injuries are suffered uring the international break, we may have a full strength squad available without any injury against reading.

  • avatar Strus

    This win a massive one. Briilant defensive display beside one poor Jenki pass. Healthy and in-form Koscielny is a monster!
    Many players were really good today. Especially the subs. Both Gervinho and Ramsey played with purpose.

  • avatar Florian

    My HD stream was down, had to watch the match in standard def, so not sure about some ref decisions;) But for one thing, Mr. Moss seems to be our lucky charm – 3 matches, 3 wins, that’s no mean feat. Keep it up Mr. Moss! What was Mr. Riley thinking/drinking/smoking?

  • avatar Stuart

    Peaking a little late but better late than never. Spurs also have an awkward month of fixtures throughout April.

  • avatar gouresh

    The 1st 15 mins we looked quite shakey, too many miss passes & diaby was quite poor. But the imp thing is that the defence was solid and arteta. 3 points and pool lost. Now lets keep this run going.

  • avatar Arun

    Off topic but
    Oh, he knows, he knows. He knows that’s inside the box but he doesn’t want to give it.

  • avatar Norm

    Despite those early dodgy moments, the overall performance was very good. Subs Rambo & Gerv really affected the game in the best way possible. All the defence, Santi & Arty, looked solid, so please AW, leave this lineup for the next game (including Ramsey & Gervinho, omitting Diaby and Theo to the bench.)Yes, still in there fighting, COYG!

  • avatar Mandy Dodd

    Florian, unfortunately, do not think Riley is finished with us yet, what…9 games to go – easily enough for a couple strategic appearances by Mike Dean

  • avatar AL

    Very good performance, bearing on mind a few teams have come away from this ground with anything. To win 2 nil there is a great result.

  • avatar Adam

    @Mandy, I predict we get Dean against Wigan.

  • avatar Rufusstan

    @Adam — Hush. Don’t give him ideas :)

  • avatar Florian

    @Mandy, yes, I have no illusions that we’ll see Dean’s 12 players again some time soon. If Walter’s stats are anything to go by, he’ll hit us twice more this season actually. Hope I’m not coming across as too pessimistic. The teams ahead of us should be beatable, except ManU at Emirates (although by that time they should have bagged the title already, so their motivation might be 1% lower). Wigan promises to be tricky indeed, they’ll fight for survival like dogs, and with 2 matches to go that might just be their last ticket. So, let’s hope Adam’s “suggestion” goes unnoticed;)

  • @btjgooner, rupert will stay in the sewers for a while not until we get a bad day and if we don,t we will see him next season. If Arsenal football club wants to be in the Champions league next season we need not top allow mike dean shit to officiate any of our games. We give riley a holiday to Bahamas and only then will we be in his good books.

  • avatar Mahdain

    Lock Mike Dean for the United game and one of our games vs the relegation threatened… We havent seen the last of him yet

  • avatar bjtgooner

    @kampala gun

    Fully agree. If we keep playing as we have in the last couple of games we should get a run of good results. I don’t understand the motive behind the Riley & Dean policy, but the more blatant they become the greater the chance of an official investigation into refereeing in the EPL.

  • avatar Andrew Crawshaw

    Four days, two wins, four scored and none conceded. A very good week. Nine more gamesto go. COYG!

  • avatar Arvind

    It’ll be Webb for the United game for sure. Logically I’d bet it’s Wigan or QPR…mostly QPR as it’s away and we lost there last season. Phil Dowd Newcastle away..returning to the scene of the crime.

    Keep going guys..just don’t let anything get in your way and just don’t do anything stupid around our box. 3rd is certainly still achievable.

  • avatar Mandy Dodd

    Dean when we play Wigan could happen. Some say dean has a bit of a thing going with arry so could be qpr as well

  • avatar bob

    Very good to see the Ox have a couple of sumptuous strikes that just struck wood. If that can help restore confidence and help develop clinicality we could have a genuine “new” and needed dimension to our attack.

  • avatar Domhuail

    Seeing as how Rupert and company haven’t deigned to grace us with their pessimistic presences, Iam taking on the mantle of the AAA pseudo-supporters just this once,mind you!

    Here are my player ratings:

    Fabianski….absolute shite
    Jenkinson….total dickhead
    Mertesacker..big lump of German sausage
    Koscielny….horrible defending
    Monreal……more deadwood, lucky hit
    Arteta…….a real greaser
    Diaby……..diabolical
    Oxlade-Chamberlain…needs glasses
    Cazorla……goal-less wonder
    Giroud…….a waste of space
    Walcott……the invisible man

    Substitutes

    Szczesny…..never made a save
    Vermaelen….the vominator
    Gibbs……..more deadwood
    Coquelin…..French rooster
    Rosicky……geriatric Czech
    Ramsey…….we hate him, we hate him
    Gervinho…..I could have scored that goal

    We are total shite and only worthy of relegation, and don’t tell me about 2 clean sheets against very tough opponents away, I don’t want to know the truth I only want to allow my prejudices to confound my ignorance. I hate when we win, it makes me look like a fool….come to think of it, maybe I am???

  • avatar Elvis

    Nice post! I love the whimsical nonsense. It still makes more sense than bbc, mail and sun put together…
    BTW happy to see ‘Arry lose, given the amount of media hype over their “fighting spirit” :-D
    @domhuail : Lol
    I have a feeling (hope?) Rosicky is gonna lead us to a late season charge like last year. COYG