By Billy the Dog McGraw
Arsenal make the long, long journey to Swansea this weekend. Swansea, as you will of course know, is a diminutive principality situated on an island to the west of Scotland, which is under the control of the Suðurnes (formerly Reykjanes) region of Iceland. [Billy, are you quite sure about this? Tony]
Situated in what was once a barren icefield, it is now home to a greater diversity of flora and fauna than anywhere else in the northern hemisphere except Plumstead. The main towns are Sagna (the capital), Podolski (the western outpost) and Wilshere (gateway to the universe) [This is going too far. Don’t we have anyone else to write our reviews? – Tony]
Hallo, met Dennis Bergkamp. Jammer genoeg kan Billy vandaag niet. Ik denk dat hij een beetje te veel van mijn aardappel wijn heeft gedronken. Tony heeft gevraagd of ik het even kon overnemen. [In English please Dennis – Tony]
Sagna and Podolski are definitively not playing, and of course Wilshere is out as well. Gibbs looks like he has had a little knock, but I think it was always expected that he would be pushed back into the game in Munich, and the glorious Monreal will come back for this match.
Everyone therefore is fit and raring to proceed although Vermaelen will be on the beach, as with Szychszcsznyz.
Question 1 (already answered) is therefore the keeper of the goal. After a good performance by Fabianski I suspect he will stay put.
Across the back we will have…
Bob Dylan, Arlo Guthrie, Blind Willie McTell, Leadbelly.
[Those are all blues singers – can’t we have some players – Tony]
You are so pedantic, Mr Editor. Very well…
Monreal Mertersacker, Koscielny Jenkinson
Walcott Giroud Oxlade Chamberlain (or Rosicky?)
But here’s a thought. Supposing you took out Oxlade-C, moved Cazorla further forward and played Rosicky as the attacking midfielder? Interesting eh?
Here’s the league table
|8||(7)||West Bromwich Albion||29||13||4||12||40||38||2||43|
So Swansea have played one game more than we have but have seven points less. And their goal difference is vastly inferior to out.
The man in the long black coat is Jon Moss who has reffed 16 games this season and given an average of over three yellows a game.
Swansea have won one of the three games this season between the two sides. We have won one and we have had a 2-2 draw. Swansea are proclaiming themselves the best footballing team in Iceland, sorry, Shetland. [Don’t you start] They’ve got into Europe next season through the diddly cup and will not be relegational this year.
But for all their fluffy bluster they are not really playing the super fast quick movement buzzy attacky whizzo football that they like to think they play. Indeed the Swansea of smoothness is (at least just now) a myth. What is true is that they are unbeaten in their home city since 8 December.
Against the Greatest Team in the World, Except They Weren’t Last Week I thought Santi Cazorla and Theo Walcott were very good indeed. But what we need to avoid is a game ending in two late goals like that which we saw at the Ems. We need to dig a big hole on the pitch and let Michu fall into it. That would be my tactical plan, and I have told Mr W. so. [Billy’s seeing to it – Tony]
But we beat them in the cup so we can do it again and my prediction is that Mikel Arteta will foul someone.
On the bench (select some from…)
Szczesny, Mannone, Vermaelen, Miquel, Diaby, Coquelin, Rosicky if he doesn’t play, Gnabry, Gervinho
And did you know Walcott and Cazorla have both scored 11 goals? Thought you did.
Final though: six of the goals scored in games between Arsenal and Swansea this season have come in the closing 10 minutes. So Arsenal to score in the first 30 seconds. Have a jolly time. See you all next season why I join the club once more.
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- Woolwich Arsenal: The club that changed football – Arsenal’s early years
- Making the Arsenal – how the modern Arsenal was born in 1910
- The Crowd at Woolwich Arsenal FC: crowd behaviour at the early matches
- Royal Arsenal: from the Common to the Manor. Coming next.
The sites from the same team…
- Referee Decisions – just what are the refs up to this season?
- Parent News – what is going on in schools these days?
- The weight loss programme: The only guaranteed way to stay fit
- The Arsenal History Blog from the AISA Arsenal History Society
- Untold Dylan – the music, the lyrics, the meaning
- School sports minibuses: providing your child’s school with a bus
- The Direct Marketing blog: direct mail, email, websites, blogs
- Good Ad: reviews of some of the best and worst direct advertising there is
- The Massage Centre, serving Northants and Rutland
- Teacher News – UK schools from the teachers’ perspective
- UK Education News – rolling news service