Arsenal News
Arsenal News & Transfers
As featured on NewsNow: Arsenal newsArsenal News 24/7

Arsenal News, Only Arsenal, Blogs, Transfer News

Archives

August 2017
M T W T F S S
« Jul    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  

Start your own Arsenal transfer rumour today and end it tomorrow.

By Billy the Dog McGraw

If you have been paying attention (and woe betide anyone who has not been paying attention, as Mrs Dog is on the prowl, and I can tell you that is not a good thing) we have been covering all the transfers that Arsenal will be certain to be making in the coming days.  Well not actually in the coming days because we have the whole of April, May and June (a total of 91 days not counting the bit of March still left) before the transfer window opens.  But it feels soon the ways the bloggettes are going.

But if you take a look at the multiplicity of Arsenal hate/love sites (the infamous AAA) you will see that they are already talking as if deals are being done yesterday, if not the day before.

Now if in case you have not been paying attention and you want to avoid Mrs Dog and her hare (don’t ask), here are the key articles you ought to have been reading:

You see  I happened to be commissioned to write this series of articles on a particular day by chance.  As is normal at Untold, the editorial committee met, drank too much excellent Belgian beer, and failed to reach a conclusion on what should be published, so we drew lots and I went ahead and started my series.

And lo! verily! and behold!  On that self-same day would you believe it, a big story broke.  And not just a Big Story.  But a BIG STORY.  In fact a VERY BIG STORY.  So big in fact that it deserved an exclamation mark!

That story was that Arsenal were going to sign Petr Cech for £20m.   This story was covered on 19 separate blogs that I counted.

And guess what?  A day later Petr Cech said, “No!” (with an exclamation mark!).  “No!” he said (in case you didn’t get it first time).  “It’s all balderdash.  It’s rhubarb.  I ain’t going to Arsenal!”

And 12 of those blogs then covered that story too – rather suggesting that it was some other silly blog that carried it in the first place, and they would not be seen dead or alive with such a load of jellied eels.

So this got me a thinking.  Yes I can, and I will, go on reporting all the gibberish nonsense that the blogs publish about who is going to whom.

But that’s not enough!   For this is the famous Billy The Dog McGraw here, and you don’t mess with me.  Or Mrs Dog.

What I want to do is to start another story, which we can then deny the next day.  And I want you, dear Mr or Mrs Untold Reader, to help me.

I want you to put forward the most ludicrous and unlikely transfer story you can possibly imagine involving Arsenal buying some player or othe.  (We’ll do a silly selling story later on). (That was alliteration.  Did you like it?) [No – Duty Ed]

So, think of a player who does not play for Arsenal, who Arsenal are very unlikely to sign in a billion light years [A light year is a distance, not a measurement of time – Duty Ed] and write in the comment below.  If we get a good one, we’ll publish it one day, and then deny it the next.

And there’s more.  If you really fancy yourself as an Untold writer, make your suggestion into a whole story running to anything from 200 to 1000 words, and send it to Tony.Attwood@aisa.org and we’ll publish it if we like it.

Then we’ll invite articles in denying the whole thing.

In this way Untold will run its own exclusive stories, and we won’t have to rely on all the other silly blogs to make things up.  We’ll show them.  We’ll make up our own and then cancel them!!!  Complete with exclamation marks!!!

So there’s you choice.  Either just comment below, or if you think you’ve got an article in you, send it to Tony at the address above.

But remember, you have to think of something even more bizarre, stupid, impossibly crazy, semi-skimmed, debunked, disastrous, lamentably insane, blancmange and custard, and just plain silly that the Chelsea goalkeeper coming to Arsenal.

And then we’ll show the rest of them what for!  Complete with exclamation marks!

You get bonus marks for every time you can include the phrases “set to” and “red alert”.

Lacking ideas?  Just read the other blogs today.  Remember you have to be utterly surreal to stand a chance.

The runner up in our competition gets a kiss from Mrs Dog.  The winner doesn’t get a kiss from Mrs Dog.

Here’s the list of people we’ve already done over:

  • Asmir Begovic
  • Christian Eriksen
  • Daniel Carr
  • Alexis Sanchez
  • Alex Song
  • Edinson Cavani
  • Cech
  • Victor Wanyama
  • Felipe Santana
  • Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang
  • The mystery man
  • The invisible man
  • Vorm
  • Stevan Jovetic
  • Abdisalam Ibrahim
  • Isco (Francisco Román Alarcón Suárez )
  • Valdes
  • N’Koulou
  • Martin Skrtel
  • David Villa

And thus, farewell and adieu, my dear fellow supporters.

Billy.

Recent posts

The books…

The sites from the same team…

48 comments to Start your own Arsenal transfer rumour today and end it tomorrow.

  • quincy

    that is why the media is there…

  • Mick

    I think Robert Huth from Stoke fits the bill admirably. Just the sort of cultured ball playing centre back Wenger would go for. Plus he is German so would slot in easily with Mertesacker.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Yer on , Billy ! Am going to stay awake nights and put into words all that crap that ebbs and flows like flotsam and jetsam in my head !
    There’ll be skullduggery (no relation to Christophe Dugarry!)
    fat Uzbeck turd hitting the fans ,dark scarve wavers , greedy bankers ( are there any other kind?), Spud bashers ,’honest’ agents/lawyers /representatives (yeah, I know ,I’ll pull the other one too!),along with a cast of millions ! There’ll even be a honourable mention for Piers !
    Its 5 o’clock , woo hoo !See you later !

  • Mandy Dodd

    not quite a transfer story, but our old friend, recently outed as a Spurs fan, and banned from Colneyover the false Wenger new contract story is at it again,in the most reliable of publications

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/4852360/Wojciech-Szczesnys-dad-Arsene-Wenger-has-ruined-my-son.html

  • Messi's dad

    Ha, sounds like fun.

    Posted this (ONLINE EXCLUSIVE!!! RED ALERT!!!) somewhere else in 2010:

    Messi’s dad in talks with Arsenal

    Messi’s dad was spotted in North London on Monday, according to sources, and was believed to be in discussions with Arsenal.

    Sources indicate that Messi, the 2009 Ballon d’or, UEFA and FIFA World player of the year has grown increasingly frustrated at the frequent failures to be paid.

    According to Arsenal star, Theo Walcott, Messi has “Arsenal DNA” in his blood. “Of course he is the best player in the world, and the best players all want to be together in the best team, even if it means having to sit on the bench. It is his destiny to join us one day. If not this season, then the next. In fact, you can see that we are just “loaning” him to Barca for now. You can never say never in football, who knows?”

    Arsenal are believed to be extremely interested, and inside sources indicate that the North London club are preparing a “serious” offer of 15Million Euros for the 2009 Ballon d’or, UEFA and FIFA World player of the year.

    This may or may not be enough to tempt Barceloanus to part with their star player, who is contracted to them for the next 50 years.

  • nicky

    When I read Cech’s denial of a move to Arsenal, I was reminded of the comment once made by the well-worn Mandy Rice-Davies, namely “Well he would say that, wouldn’t he”.(Look it up on the internet, you youngsters.)
    My Gran (who cleans at the Emirates) says that after the last Window closed, Arsene started a sweep on the most bizarre rumour about Arsenal circulating during the season.
    She says one involving a take-over, Sir Richard Branson, Virgin Airways and a name change, stands a good chance.

  • Steve

    Arsenal are to make a bid for Julio Cesar if Queens Park Rangers get relegated from the PL at the end of this season. The 33 year old stopper signed from Inter Milan this year is seen as a replacement for the inconsistent Wojciech Szczęsny. Our source said that Cesar wants champions league football next season and sees Arsenal as a club with a great history in the Champions League. The sticking point could be his wages with Arsenal understood to be only offering fifty thousand a week and all the hot dogs he can eat. Cesar is understood to want sixty thousand a week and all the pizzas he can eat.

  • The font

    Star supporters set to leave arsenal some of the worlds best moaners are sensationally on the verge of requesting a transfer from the club Lenny large mouth says I’ve had enough . world class stadium world kudos . and a succesfully run club players like jack coming through players like santi being bought is just not good enough I and some of THE WIN AT THE STADIUM better known as TWATS
    Are off to support swansea with there proven record of wining trophys

  • The font

    Paul Gascogne. Due at emirates to under go medical his spokesmen said at first paul was not sure but after finding out arsenal have the. AAA it was a no brainer

  • Arsenal to sign Red Alert, brother of Red Adair (June 18, 1915 – August 7, 2004) the American oil well firefighter.

  • Mr Wenger announces his retirement and is to be replaced by Baseball-Cap Pulis.

  • Mick

    Far fetched I know but couldn’t we sign Mike Dean?

  • Stuart

    Rumour has it, Mrs Dog is to be signed as the new Arsenal team mascot as it is feared the Gunnersaurus’ large shining teeth are frightening off younger would be fans and the club wish to adopt a more friendly approach. It is planned that all Gunnersuarus merchandise will be cleared from the shelves of the Armoury Shop at 3.17pm on 30th March just after the Reading game kicks off. This initiative has been championed by Stan Kroenke in a bid to boost revenues by allowing fans to buy the old merchandise on the way in to the game and buy the new merchandise on the way out, it is expected turnover will increase by at least £8.62 and although it is not yet decided whether to sell tickets to get into the shop, it has been unanimously agreed by the board to charge people to get out.

  • Mandy Dodd

    fear Bendtner could be like a new signing -apparently has not set Juve alight

  • Gunz

    Big news! Arsenal have missed out on, heavily linked player, Frank “Lumper” Lampard. He has agreed contracts, with West Ham. It has reported that he will be showered in money.

  • ian

    Aaron Ramsey demands transfer as Wenger swoops for Ryan Shawcross. A hard tackling (but not that kind of player) is what has been missing at The Emirates for a number of years. Ramsey demanded showdown talks with Wenger when hearing the news but Wenger remains determined to get his man and will consider loan deal for Ramsey to go the other way.

  • Sam

    Arsenal to bring back Na$ri and Adebayor – I suggest it was given a green light after Wenger looked at how much we were winning with them before they left, and then looked at all their success and trophies from this year on Spurs and Manchester City. The fee will be 25 million euros for Samir, and a bag of deflated footballs for Ade.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Toure brothers and Patrick Vieira in shock cut-price move to the Emirates!

    Arsene Wenger is reported to be in Abidjan and in advanced talks with both Yaya and Kolo Toure to bring the brothers to Arsenal .Its reported that if talks go well ,the pair will sign at halftime of the Ivory Coast vs Gambia game.

    This move was engineered by Arsenal legend ,favorite and an Invincible Vieira,who will also join the duo at the club. Arsenal have yet to comment but inside sources (Nicky’s gran ,according to unconfirmed reports), say that he will be made the club’s global advisor.
    Rumours are also rife that the A stature is being prepared and to be unveiled along with that of Dennis Bergkamp in May in conjunction with the annual St.Totteringham’s Day .
    Unconfirmed reports also tell us(?) that after failing to entice Shebby Singh from BlackBurned Roasters the club have identified Vieira as the next most logical choice.The former
    Malaysian player and ESPN pundit is apparently happy there but our(?) insiders there say that he has taken to wearing a weird orange coloured wig and going around telling the staff, ” You’re fired ! You’re fired !”
    According to Vieira the unsettling presence of Txiki Begiristain and a close clique of Basque speaking(and avid karaoke singers) at Manchester City were the cause for Yaya’s outburst on Tuesday to Antony Kastrinakis ,The Sun’s famed football reporter, who specialises in ‘scoops’ (of mostly unadulterated crap) about Arsenal .
    Begiristain was also the one who allowed Yaya Toure to leave
    BarfAlonena when he was their sporting director , which prompted Pep Guardiola to resign .

  • Finsbury

    George Weah’s son is on his way to AFC as you read this for a medical.

  • Finsbury

    S.t.o.p.t.h.e.p.r.e.s.s.

    “Arsenal loan rebel rebels against playing for Arsenal”

    In a recent interview with an unknown source whilst out at a local nightclub Joel Campblell said that the weather in Betis can be nice but it is not quite as nice as in Costa Rica during the nice season (no hurricanes).

  • Timmy

    Wenger concludes plan to bring back Gary Neville from retirement

    From very close sources inside the emirates stadium, it has been reliably gathered that Arsenal Coach, Arsene Wenger has concluded plans to bring Gary Neville back from retirement and plunge him right inside the gunners leaky defence. Since the controversial departure of Bacary Sagna, Arsenal has found it difficult to fill the gap at the right back position with youngster Jenkinson not living up to expectation. It is expected that details of the deal will be finalized in a matter of days and even Gary Neville was quoted as saying “…I cannot wait to start training and halt the downward spiral of the club I love so much and supported as a kid”

    I think this would be it. Unimaginably ridiculous

  • Mandy Dodd

    Hopefully our keeper is one that certainly will not be transferred

    http://www.arsenal.com/news/news-archive/wojciech-szczesny-statement

    Shows a fine attitude, look forward to seeing him back to his best.

  • Woolwich Peripatetic

    I’ve heard we’re in serious negotiations with Bobby Shillinde’s people about a transfer from AFC Wimbledon, or if that falls through we’ll be signing Neymar from Santos.

  • rusty

    Neymar chooses North London in Shock Move!

    Following a visit to London, during which Arsenal owner Stan Kroenke played personal chauffer, Neymar says that he will only leave Brazil to play for the Gunners.

    “Growing up, I loved watching ‘1-nil to the Arsenal!’ and the exploits of Dixon, Keown, Adams, and Winterburn, and I’m excited to have the opportunity to join the club myself,” said the young forward, sought after by top sides throughout Europe.

    He added, “When you look at the team today, there seems to be such a positive atmosphere surrounding them — from the fans, to the media, to the allotment of extra time they receive during close games. I knew that Real or Milan could not give me a comparable experience.”

    Fans are extremely excited by the new arrival — at his introductory press conference, this reporter counted dozens of banners reading WENGER OUT.

  • rusty

    Bale agrees to North London Switch in White Hart Heartbreaker

    Citing the leadership of Wales’ captain Aaron Ramsey, Gareth Bale has demanded a surprise transfer to arch-rivals Arsenal. While obviously not keen on selling, Spurs finances have recently come under increased scrutiny following imposition of Financial Fair Play, and with a stack of court orders piling up at their Virgin Islands postbox, they may be forced to create some liquid capital by approving the sale.

    A spokesperson for Spurs’ chairman Daniel Levy blamed the whole thing on West Ham for making a competing bid to use the London Olympic stadium.

    Bale’s agent remarked, “Well, winning the Europa League isn’t exactly a trophy you stick at the front of the cabinet, is it? Sort of like the League Cup, really.”

    Spurs fans have descended on their ground, starting a ’round-the-clock vigil to protest the transfer. This reporter counted dozens of banners reading WENGER OUT.

  • The SKAGooner

    To solve all our goal keeping problems, we’re going to sign David Icke, from Wogan FC. You heard it here first.

  • AL

    Arsenal are set to land Ronaldinho on a free when his current six month deal with Atletico Mineiro is up in the summer. The two-time Ballon d’or and world cup winner will add much needed experience to the gunners relatively young midfield. Talking to the respected publication Folha de S Paulo on the eve of his 33rd birthday(born on the 21st of March 1980), Ronaldinho said he has always wanted to test himself in the best league in the world and has no worries about adapting to the style of play given how his fellow compatriots settled quickly at chelsea.

    ‘I’m motivated & focused on doing my best and happy to be joining one of the best teams in England. I feel I still have many good years left in my career’, the 33 year old master added. Ronaldinho’s arrival is going to create fierce competition for starting places in an area where Arsenal are not really lacking in personnel.

  • elpiero

    Arsenal have finnaly confirmed the signing of Wayne Rooney in what has been one of the worst kept secrets of 2013. Upon signing,the ex Everton and Manchester United player said: ” I’m really excited to be playing in the same team as the likes of Squillaci and to think that only months ago Manuel Almunia still walked these halls is just incredible really. I had other offers but the little boy inside me just couldn;t say no to the huge wage offered and funded by the club’s groundsman”. It is expected that the England international will play a small role in Arsenal’s season as he is eased into a squad already containing the likes of Edinson Cavani, Radamel Falcao and top scorer, with over 150 goals already after only 3 matches, returning loanee Park Chu Young. Stan Kroenke was quoted as saying something as was Ivan Gazidis.

  • elpiero

    *the typos are to show that it is from a well-informed and respected journalist from one of England’s universally loved newspapers such as the Sun and have absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that I didn’t proof read before posting my comment. 🙂

  • nicky

    I can’t help feeling that the new Archbishop of Canterbury is in the wrong profession. His name simply doesn’t sound right.
    Secretly, I hear he is an Arsenal supporter.
    Accordingly, I dream of our future midfield of Aaron Ramsey, Santi Corzola, Justin Welby and Theo Walcott.
    Formidable!!

  • Adam

    Untold is back.

    Love it.

    My two pence worth.

    Who is he and where’s he from, apparently they’re brothers?

  • Arvind

    This has to be one of the best articles ever. Totally totally brilliant. This should be bookmarked and posted on every single blog where transfer rumours are discussed. Billy the Dog is a huge huge amount of fun : )

  • SouthernGunner

    Chris Samba volunteers to pay Arsenal £1,000,000 a week in order to play for the club.

    Wenger plans to utilise him as a centre forward.

    The under-fire manager’s comment, “He’s like a new signing”, at the press conference left newspaper hacks bemused.

    In other news, Usmanov take over of Arsenal FC falls through as board game money isn’t an accepted currency. His imminent takeover of Chelsea FC, however, appears unaffected by such details.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    THE AAA FINALLY GET THEIR WISH !

    It has been confirmed by our reliable sources that the shadowy group known as the AAA who have been overtly campaigning against the present regime have finally got their wish for total change at Arsenal .
    Among the changes that they were agitating for are –
    1)The immediate removal of Stan’Silent’ Kroenke as majority shareholder with the sale of all his shares (or else !)to “Der Saviour”, Alisher Usmanov ,the Grande Turd of Uzebekistan -reportedly the leader of this organisation among whose members are former agents of the NKVD ,Stasi and the Bulgarian Department of the Inferior .
    2)Arsene Weng

  • Brickfields Gunners

    To whom it may concern , the author of the above posting has violated certain copyright infringement laws and has been taken into custody, (whispering heard in the background….,.
    “Delete ‘custody’, and type in ,’ for behavioural adjustment
    and motivational reconstruction ‘.)
    (Louder and more angry voice ,”What do you mean you pressed
    ‘send’ ,instead of ‘delete’ , you ,… you dummkopf ???)
    Line goes dead ……( What line , this is on a computer -Ed)

  • Brickfields Gunners

    And he’s back !
    The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated !-
    Mark Twain .

    Nicky @ March 21 -10.29 pm .- That midfield would constitute faith ,hope and charity (some would say you may be being very charitabe towards Ramsey and/or Walcott by including them!),as well as the divine , the sublime and the profane (Wot? No Wilshere ?)!

    Reminds me of an old joke, (Is it me or do you guys hear the groans too whenever I try to tell a joke ? Do something about the acoustics in here , Tony !) anyway ,as I was saying, ” That must have been one helluava( oops ,thats blasphemy !), great ball !” , quipped the comic, when told that Glenn Hoddle (Then, a newly born again Christian , and a great passer of the ball) had found God.

  • Amit

    Hello Billy

    Howz the below one i am not much of a writer but i tried my best

    An Unknown Source claims Radamel Falcao’s Agent has held talks with Arsenal over possible signing of his client for a reported fee of 60 Mill and that talks are in advanced stage and the Columbian would be heading to Emirates at the end of current season on a 4 year deal rumoured to be around 15mil a year

  • rusty

    Wenger Raids Everton’s Pantry Again

    Arsenal have made a daring swoop for Everton’s towering midfielder Marouane Fellaini this afternoon. Familiarity with former Toffee Mikel Arteta and Belgian national teammate Thomas Vermaelen likely abetted the move.

    The fee, although undisclosed, is assumed to be around £20m, with Everton’s owner issuing a public statement that, “100% of [the fee] will go unspent, so that it is available to anyone, anyone who purchases the team. Please if you know someone who might be interested in making an offer, Everton is for sale.” Manager David Moyes reacted by making a disgusted face and declining to speak to the press.

    Following completion of the transfer, the FA announced a new scheme to re-examine player suspensions given for red cards and other ‘serious, as-yet-unpunished fouls’. The first player to be audited, selected in a “secret but we assure you quite random” process, was Arsenal new-boy Fellaini himself. Within hours, the FA announced a total of 46 matches of additional suspensions for the Belgian, including Premier League, FA Cup, and League Cup fixtures. UEFA followed up by noting that, due to lost paperwork, Fellaini is considered cup-tied for all continental competitions as well.

  • John

    Arsenal set to miss out on top transfer target Lionel Messi, who Arsene Wenger had identified as the answer to the team’s problems in the striking department, highlighted by the failure to sign Demba Ba, Andy Carroll and Peter Crouch.

    The Gunners are now likely to launch an audacious raid on Spurs’ twin strike force of Jermaine Defoe and old-boy Emmanuel Adebayor, but are likely to face strong competition from West Ham, who can now raise their ambitions as a result of securing the Olympic stadium.

    The re-appearance of Adams and Keown as Roy Hodgson’s emergency centre-back pairing in this week’s World Cup qualifiers has prompted calls from thousands of disgruntled Arsenal fans for their return to the club’s squad.

  • Domhuail

    I have it from a usually unreliable source, that AFC are weighing up,eying up and planning an audacious, indeed recklessly panicky bid for the entire Malaga team, including the ballboys and dirty towels. The always in crisis Arsenal has had another injury blow with the entire first team currently recuperating at Wilshere’s London apartment. AFC are also targeting Malaga’s entire reserve team but are said to be preparing a contract for their latest target Abidajibamali Goobiersonginhovinovic from Upper Volta, who is also on Millwall and the Spuds radar. Wenger is reportedly considering signing some ¨ladies¨ from the Seven Sisters Road red-light reservists to come and brighten up his defensive training sessions, since they are renowned for defending their honour from the local canines.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Dom – I have heard (albeit from a more reliable source – yeah right !) that while the entire Malaga team will be joining Arsenal ,we inturn will be sending our ‘deadwood’ players as well as some from the academy to play for them .
    I’m not too sure about theM dirty towels ,nor the ballboys –
    there’s still an Eden ‘Hazard’ warning in effect in the EPL!
    As for those ” ladies” ,I heard that we have hired a consultatant who has much experience in these things .You know, the one who used to manage a local team there before he was picked up for ‘ kerb crawling ‘in 1987 ,and much later became a tv pundit .

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Any truth to the news that Atsenal are about to sign Massadio Haidara , Newcastle Utd’s Japanese (A ‘black ninja’ I think !)left back.
    He has all the trappings to be an Arsenal ‘legend ‘. –
    1) An exotic and near unpronunceable foreign name ( This is for you Walter !) !
    2) Already been involved in a career threatening tackle by one who is of cause not ‘that type of player’.
    3) A refree and an assistant who did not see anything and will not be reporting on the incident .
    4) An FA which will do sweet ,eer , Fuck All .They do not want to open a new can of worms by starting a precedence in retrospective punishment .
    5) Pundits and experts who would love to crow about another ‘Johnny Foreigner ‘ who cannot ‘hack’ it in the world’s best ‘up and in their face’ league .
    6) Will leave for BarfAloneA , ManUre or ManShitty ( for a large fee) to the disdain of angry ‘fans’ after being initally labelled a crap player and a deadwood by the ever reliable AAA.

  • weedonald

    BG….I stand corrected, and suitably enlightened! Apparently our deadwood have to pass the ¨Auto de Fe¨ test from the Spanish Inquisitors (Senors Barca-up-a-tree & Real Dirtbag)before they can move to bugger and bitter things at Malaga. This involves being drenched in a vat of sour Spanish wine, and if they float, they are then cooked over a slow fire, a la Paella, and when hardened sufficiently, are sent onto the field naked, but well done.
    As far as the ¨ladies¨ from Spudsville, there are strong rumours and odours eminating from the Seven Sisters Road cesspool that indicate these distaff invitees are actually Lennon,Bale and AVB in drag, who are all, in fact, closet Gooners who are desperate to come to the civilized part of North London and play or manage in a real stadium for real money. This story comes straight from the inferior regions of the Mirror, Daily News and the Mail so is rated as highly credible by the AAA, Piers Morgan and Alisher Usmanov.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Dom – Inferior regions as meaning infernal regions ? As the Americans are wont to ask, ” Is it hot enough for yer?”
    Or maybe nether regions ? “Are all these really cunts ?”

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Arsenal to sign Blackburn winger /midfielder Morten Gamst Pedersen on a free ! Arsene Wenger is set to sign the player, who flew the Rooster’s coop recently .
    AW believes that the 30 year old will add experience and stability to the midfield which will be missing Jack Wilshire for a least a month .
    He likens this transfer to that which saw Gary McAllister move to Liverpuddle in 2000 and promptly help them win a treble of cups . He said to be cock -a-hoop with this capture.
    When pressed further ,AW admitted that he had been following the “Poultryguise saga at Blackburnt and noted that their “Global advisor ” has been getting his every single move wrong , “And having had called Pedersen
    ‘a pensioner’ and ‘a has been ‘ earlier in the season ,I knew that we could not lose ,and that in Morten we had a winner .” he said.” An early bird special ,if you must .”, he says as he licks his fingers .
    Pedersen when contacted was heard clucking away and sounded very chirpy indeed, but was critical of Venky’s for enforcing their ‘Foie gras ‘ chicken feed treatment at the club .”We had to swallow our pride (among other things!)and were unable to stomach it .Now that I’m free of their clutches ,I’ll spill it all out .No more for me that Shebby treatment that was meted out !
    Arsenal will parade Pedersen after he thaws out on his return flight from Scandinavia .

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Following in the footsteps of Morten Gamst Pedersen , another Blackburnt Roaster reject is to sign for Arsenal .
    The internet is abuzz with the news that Arsene Wenger is to make Titus James Palani the first Malaysian ever to play in the EPL.Or at the very least in the Carling cup !
    He had undergone trials at Blackburnt when their Malaysian born global Advisor,Shebby Singh was first appointed .He was to have been the first of many Malaysians on the conveyor belt to be ‘processed’ by Venky’s, but things didn’t pan out in this cut-throat profession .
    He is 26 years old and the left back at lower French league sode ,Nanteuil FC, and was highly recomended to AW by Giles Grimandi at the insistence and persistence of Palani’s fellow countryman and famous (debatable !) blogger ,the Brickfields Gunners .
    Says BG,” As we are from the same district (Brickfields,duh!)
    and the from the same school there ,I felt obliged to try to help the young fellow on his way to greatness .”
    Read more at –

    http://acid-7.blogspot.com/2013/01/masihkah-kau-ingat-titus-james-palani.html

  • Brickfields Gunners

    I see that thanks to my efforts ,this site is now number one !
    I’d like to thank Tony ,Walter and all those who have been supporting my musings over the years .
    May I live long enough to keep you entertained ( whats that groaning sound ?) .
    Hello ?
    HELLO ?
    Is anyone there ?
    Drat !