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September 2017
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The Tiny Totts Top the Table

Tottenham Hotspur have made a dramatic rise to the top of the Chaos Table – the league listing of EPL clubs in a total mess.   Having spent over £50 million in transfer fees this summer and once again let it be known that they are ready to break into the top 4, they sit hopelessly stranded at the bottom of the EPL.

This is of course different from last year when they let it be known that they would reach the top 4, spent over £30 million on transfers and then sacked their manager.

This year they didn’t sack their manager.

With all the money gone, no wonderkids about to emerge from a second XI, and some rather unhappy fans lurking around, it is business as usual for the rivals to Leyton Orient.

Other clubs that are featuring heavily in the Choas League at the moment:

Manchester Bankrupt – not content with not being able to pay the interest of their loans their major sponsor – AIG – have now asked the US government for help to the tune of $20 billion (that is billion and not a misprint – they really do want $20 billion).  With the ground full, the money spent and nothing much extra they can get out of marketing, there really isn’t anywhere much for them to go.

Liverpool Insolvency.  While the results look good the finances look awful and the supporters are revolting (which we knew anyway).   Teetering on the edge of insolvency, the scheme for the new ground has been rolled up and put away, and the owners can’t find anyone to sell to.   DIC who were just about the last-chance of anyone buying have said no thanks mate, and walked away.

Newcastle Zebras.  The great friend of the fans, the man who drinks pints illegally at the Arsenal, has now said, “I can’t go to games because I am afraid of my personal safety”, has sacked the manager and his support staff, and is losing games.   No one wants to pay the sort of money Ashley is asking for, and no one wants to buy a club stuck right up in the north east.  If Ashley gets fed up he could just let the club rot.

The Chaos League is invented and written by Sir Hardly Anyone.  Thank you for your support.

2 comments to The Tiny Totts Top the Table

  • Hassan

    Dear Spurs,

    You never ever never ever EVER be in top four not even for one week, or one day or one second!

    Regards
    True london club
    Arsenal FC

  • King_henry

    Q: which is better- Tottenham or a Toothpick???

    A: Toothpick-
    A TOOTHPICK HAS 2 POINTS!!!!!