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Barca v Arsenal: it’s all been said before. Well, almost

Today’s Sponsor:

“Making the Arsenal”.  A book utterly unlike any other book ever written about Arsenal FC.  If you have ever wanted to know what it is that is so utterly incomprehensibly special and different from every other club, this book will go some way to explain that.

It’s all been said before…

But anyway, for readers of Untold on a planet dancing around Alpha Centauri for whom the first leg won’t have happened yet, in the second game, Ibrahimovic has decided not to play just to even things up a bit, what with us having everyone injured

Pique is also out, after too many newspapers in England made jokes about his name.

Actually Ibrahimovic has a calf injury on the grounds that if everyone else has one why can’t he.

Contrary to popular belief the Swede did not score in the quarter-final first leg draw at The Emirates stadium on Wednesday – it was all just a blur after a few too many down the pub.  But we gave them a two goal start just to make it feel like more fun and to upset those crazed TV commentators.
Barca follow the Arsenal game with ‘El Clasico’ in which a bunch of surrealists take on a group of guitarists at bullfighting.  So they won’t be too fussed about this one, and we can expect a simple walkover.
As for us we will play
Almunia
Clichy Song Vermaelen Sagna
Denilson Diaby Eboue
Theo Bendtner Nasri
or something like that (to be more precise).
We could play Campbell again if he feels up to it, in which case Song is liberated into the middle of midfield.
1-2 to the Arsenal.
Or maybe not.
I am traveling on this bank holiday monday morning, but if you want to send in an article you should email it to educationupdate@googlemail.com which might well work.   But then it is pretty wild up north.
By my reckoning Djourou and Van Persie should be ready for the Tottenham match, but knowing what a hearty bunch of roughs they are up the Seven Sisters Road, they could be held back for the following saturday.
Meanwhile there’s some new research on the origins and Dark History of the Tiny Totts which I hope to publish from my Lake District retreat in the next few days.   And there’s a few new rumours in the rumours section – see the home page.

15 comments to Barca v Arsenal: it’s all been said before. Well, almost

  • Phil23

    I like the Clichy on the right Sagna on the left thing haha. No Rosicky? Eboue on the left after he proved how right footed he is?
    Almunia
    Sagna Song Vermaelen Clichy
    Denilson
    Nasri Rosicky
    Eboue Bendtner Diaby

  • Lanre

    Well, let them lick their wounds, we av licked ours n we are used to it. I am thinking that Barca will want to wrap up the game as early as possible so as to rest players for the Classico game. And since we are the king of late goals,expect us to nick them in the end. I see lots of goals.

  • Lanre

    I’d rather he use Theo Wal-bolt as a supersub just like the first leg. Play Denilson, Nasri, Rosicky, Diaby n Eboue in midfield n super Nick in attack.

  • Jazbo

    This game is must for Eduardo, what with Barca missing their first choice central defenders, Walcott to play as a sub late on.

    Team:

    Eboue—Campbell—-Verminator—Clichy

    —-Diaby—Song—Denilson—

    —–Nasri—Bentner—Eduardo—-

    Subs: Fabianski Sagna Wallcot Vella Merida Rosicky Silvestre

    We look a bit short on numbers but I’m sure that we’ll carry the fight into the Nu Camp and win the match.

  • JohnW

    I think, the first half will be 1-0 to Barca, then in the second half, they will want to be a little bit cautious for the El Classico, and we will score two in the second half. I hope that goes. Alternatively, we might come to rue our not taking the chances early against Wolves. After 90 minutes we could be 2:2 and then go into extra time! Then my friends we will be outdone because Barca rested many players at the weekend, so they will be relatively fresh. But should it go all the way to penalties, then I fancy our chances of nicking it.

  • Wayne

    By my reckoning…this is how the match will play out

    Barcelona to score first…after which Arsenal will respond. …End of First Half 1:1

    Second half…Barcelona score again early in the second half….and just when all seems lost…Arsenal hit back in the 80th minute.

    Barcelona respond immediately in the 85th minute (knowing our propensity for giving goals away after scoring) 😀

    Guardiola will then instruct Barcelona to play keep ball and hold on to the score for the last 5 minutes….Just when all seems lost…Almunia will launch an almight goal kick in the final minute of extra time…which Denilson latches on to and fires a long range effort at the goal….Valdes who seems to have it well covered….is outdone by a deflection off Eduardo just as the ball is going into the keepers hands 😀

    Yeah..i’m dreaming…but this will be one great match if this scenario plays out 😀

  • tim

    No Song for Barca…

    injuries, injuries, injuries…same old story…

  • fikadu

    in my decision the first line up sagna, solcampal, varmalin, clichy
    denelson, diaby
    walcot, nasri, rosisky
    bentner
    because song is sideline sub.are eboue, eduardo and others

  • Gf60

    Now we’ll see how deep the spirit is. Everybody will step up to compensate. Theo will only blow hot, Aboue and Manny will make Messi look like a beginner, Nic and Sami will have the run of the park…and the defence will make no mistakes. No sweat.

  • tim

    It’s funny. The press is making it a David vs. Goliath matchup, but shouldn’t the underdog usually get the most support? It’s clear that lots of people can barely contain their glee at the prospect of Arsenal getting hammered at Nou Camp…

    We’ve got nothing to lose. Everyone is against us. F%ck them all.

    I’m confident we will get a result.

  • Wonderman

    Just remember Inter Milan came to Arsenal a few seasons ago and beat us 3-0, we then went to the San Siro and crushed them 5-1, Football is a strange game. Whilst it is blow to lose Song, I take heart that they probably played the best they have ever played last week and still did not win, and we were contributory to them looking so good!! They will also be undoubtedly weaker without both centre halfs and Ibrahimovic .We on the other hand can play better for longer than we did last week even if we are missing players…remember we came back to 2-2 with no gallas, arshavin and a half crocked cesc….These boys seem like a battle worn battalion fighting their way to the pick up point of trophies, discovering wounded every other day but still fighting on….BELIEVE !! as we have nothing to lose !!!

  • Mark

    Losing Song , and with Sol unfit, it means we are down to the barebones.

    Silvester and TV at the back.

    Good to see Merida and Eastmond especially in the team.

    Marquez is like the QE2 these days, top quality but takes a while to change direction.

    So should be interesting to see if AW lets Theo loose down the middle.

    Also Abou with his raking runs and huge strides could be useful – even as a sub.

  • walter

    Well it will be an interesting evening anyhow. Both teams miss a lot of players but it is now for the subs to show what they are made of.
    I just think that Rosicky should start in this game. If he is fresh that is. He is our most experienced player at top level we have left and I think his passing and keeping the ball could be important to get possession.
    But… I’ll just leave it up to AW to pick the team he thinks is best.

  • iron maiden

    WENGER is only interested in ARSENAL. Not on individuals.

    He does what is best for the GUNNERS.

    He goes and does what he can. He is not always correct but is anyone of you right all the time. I suspect most of you Twats are wrong 9 out of t10 and right 1 out of 10.

    No matter what, objectivity matters. Not blind emotion.

    I am honoured to be an Arsenal fan. Whether we win anything in the next 5 years – I will not let that blinker my affection and objectivity.

    NB.
    Remember, Spurs will be “celebrating their 50th anniversy of winning the league” and look at their fans. LOYAL. Even they have won hardly anything since 1961.

    Ras tit Bamba Klat,
    Barkingside

  • Team Spirit

    3 – 0 to the arsenal… an Eduardo hattrick