Arsenal News
Arsenal News & Transfers
As featured on NewsNow: Arsenal newsArsenal News 24/7

Arsenal News, Only Arsenal, Blogs, Transfer News

Archives

August 2017
M T W T F S S
« Jul    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  

What is a blue moon and who is Sheik Yermoney?

A blue moon arises when a full moon appears twice in one month. It is rather dull really. There are just about 13 full moons in a year and only 12 months, so logically one month is going to get a second one in one month if one sees what one is saying.

Calling it blue has no logical point or purpose but it gives a meaning to life for the supporter of Manchester City, with hilarious consequences.

This is a very old club who last won a trophy (in the Form of the League Cup) in the infamous Battle of Nasby just off the A14 in Northamptonshire when the Roundheads beat the Cavaliers or vice versa.

Shakespeare celebrated this event and indeed much of the early history of Manchester City in the “Chronicles of Wasted Time” sonnet.  Out of this he built his play “Much Ablue about Nuffink” in which the Toure twins are separated at birth and then spend their lives kicking balls on different continents while trying to find each other with hilarious consequences.  Each summer and winter the popular press claim that the twins Kolo and Yaya are seen together but the story is never true and always has hilarious consequences.   The Much Ablue play which was written in 1600 (tea time) is often performed and much loved and includes the famous song

Can a White Man Sing the Blues

Can a Blue Man Eat More Greens

with hilarious consequences.

After the City of Manchester Games the club was given the stadium which had been paid for by UK taxpayers for free, and they only have to pay us rent if they win the league.

In recent times Manchester City has looked at the KGB in Fulham and decided that since Freedom is Slavery and Ignorence is Strength this would be a good way to go.  They brought in Sheikh Yermoney, made famous in a Frank Zappa album of the same name, and watched what they did in Fulham, and then did it twice as much, with hilarious consequences.

As a result they have spent the gross national product of Zimbabwe every three weeks for the past 18 months, but the result is quite differnt from that in the KGB’s domanin.

This can be seen in the way that mothers in the two lands tell stories to their kiddies at night time.  In Manchester Cityville they tell of a funny man in a funny hat who owned everything and decided to throw it all away on another group of funny people whom he never met and never wanted to meet and who sing songs about a big ball of rock in the sky that reflects the light from the sun and once a year reaches a particular position in the sky twice within 31 days.  Isn’t that fun?  And the kiddies fall asleep.

In Fulham they speak however of death, and how after death there is nothing but darkness and more darkness, and how the dead lie still and wait for eternity.  But how then after their eternity of waiting in the darkness they see in the distance something moving, and they know it is evil beyond all evil and eternity of evil and it is coming to get them, and it is called the oilman who will destroy the world of football as we know it.

“But,” screams the little child in terror, “isn’t the funny man in a funny hat evil as well?”

“Yes,” says the world-weary parent, “but he’s a bit of a prat.”

So there we are and here we are.  Looking at our team I suspect we may have the likes of

  • In goal: The Fabulous Fabianski twins: Lucas and Lucaz
  • At the back: Clichy, Silvestre, Campbell, Sagna or vice versa
  • In front of them, picking up the pieces: One Song
  • And then: Diaby and Nasri
  • And in front of them the amazing: Bendtner, Van Persie, Walcott
  • With the optional extras of Rosicky, Eboue, Eduardo, Merida, Vela

Roll up roll up. This is us, forget everyone else, forget the last two results.  If you are really Arsenal you support this club, today, now, and recognise that William Shakespeare, just like the Queen Mother, was an Arsenal supporter.

Can’t say fairer than that.

I’m off to do a spot of the old DVD making for next season’s membership pack, a chat about Arsenal Independent Supporters Assn followed by a bit of shouting, and then on for a jolly take away with friends in the suburbs.  It’s a tough life.

(c) 2010 William Shakespeare, Tony Attwood, and the Duke of Cumberland’s bicycle.

There are more articles if you can stand it.  www.blog.emiratesstadium.info usually works a bit.   Or buy my book which is even sillier.

32 comments to What is a blue moon and who is Sheik Yermoney?

  • tim

    “But,” screams the little child in terror, “isn’t the funny man in a funny hat evil as well?”

    “Yes,” says the world-weary parent, “but he’s a bit of a prat.”

    So true. And we have the man with the magic hat!

  • Peter Hawkins

    Good read, Tony.
    Now all we want to see are the hilarious consequences after the evil team are given more yellow and red cards than you can shake a spear at.

  • kage

    hilarious!…definately one for the archives!

  • goonergerry

    Very funny. Can the blue men sing the whites etc.
    Talking of which-United get awarded yet another gift-a dodgy penalty at home to Spurs. Hmmm, this has happened too often to be a chance occurrence. That awful smell-so well known in Italy is beginning to rise.

  • simon bailey

    off topic, but may i wish you all a very happy st. totteringhams day.

  • t00farg0ne

    I was just going to say about St Totteringham’s Day.

    If we get 3 points today then yes it will be. It will also confirm our top-three finish.

  • walter

    I did not see the game as my daughter was looking at a programm and the rule in our house is : When Arsenal is on TV, it is dad’s TV (look at that Tony – sorry inside joke), but for crap teams they can have the TV.
    So when looking at live score I noticed a few penalty kicks for Utd and I wasn’t surprised to see this appearing on my computer.
    So I better take a look at it this evening and pass my judgement.

  • Gf60

    They both looked stone cold to me. For once Marriner seemed innocent.

  • critic

    we can enjoy without worrying about titles….

  • walter

    Just seen them and the first was a 100 % penalty the other was light in the meening that the defender mostly was dumb for letting Nani in the penalty area with him on his heels. If you then make contact and that is easy to do if Nani just slows down a bit.

  • walter

    And once again after this point we are certain that we will play CL next season.
    Well done boys.

    We were the only team that deserved a victory today as City really did almost nothing in the attack. We even could have played without Fabianski. Even I could have been in goal. LOL.

  • tim

    not a bad result, indeed.

    i thought fabianski did a great, despite his lack of work. great job w/ his distribution (was paying attention to that thanks to walter’s article this past week). every pass was fast and precise.

    hopefully a huge confidence builder for him. i get this feeling that with the CL basically tied up, we may have seen the last of almunia this season.

    also what a game for clichy, as well as the rest of the back four. they should all be proud of the clean sheet.

  • Paul C.

    Tim – I completely agree about Fabianski. I was very harsh on him after Porto and Wigan, but today I thought he looked a top-class ‘keeper. He hardly had anything to do but what he did have to do he did nervelessly. And as you say, his distribution (both in terms of speed and accuracy) was outstanding. He looked every inch a modern ‘keeper. Now, if he can do that against Blackburn and Fulham (and maybe even make a save or two) then maybe that mental fog will start to lift. I dont have any doubt that he must have huge talent and probably saves and catches everything in training. Wenger certainly seems to like him.

    I still think ‘keeper is a position we should strengthen, but I could understand it if Wenger concentrated mainly on finding a central defender, perhaps even two if Campbell is not asked back.

  • walter

    I think it is certain now. City and Spuds play each other so both teams could get max 7 points if they tie their game. If one of them win all their remaining games and we lose both we would finish 4th.
    But it looked like the team has learnt their lesson and this time the fight was on till the end.

    Sometimes it is maybe better to have a major setback where you can learn some things and from those mistakes you can get better. BUT only if the manager gives you confidence to make up for the mistakes.

    If it would have been for some fans the whole team would have been replaced by now.

  • Paul C.

    Oh I think you have to look at last week and just shrug it off as a very bad week with an injury decimated team just completely running out of gas at the end of a long season. Having Song back today just increased the defensive solidity. I dont think the lack of work for Fabianski and Song’s return are unrelated. I think he, and he alone, would have all the difference against Wigan.

    I am dissapointed with our finish to the season, but positive overall about the progress. Chamakh and Wilshire already will be added to our squad it seems. How much would you pay for those two if Chamakh was in-contract? 30-40million? If they are talking about 20million for Rodwell, then Wilshire would surely be valued at 25million on the open market. He will challenge for playing time next season.

    The key is sorting out central defense. You can get by with an above average ‘keeper but you need outstanding central defenders. Vermaelen is obviously there, and Djourou will hopefully get an injury-free run. Campbell will be back, I would imagine, and Kyle Bartley will begin to move into the squad. If Gallas and Silvstre leave then one spot will be open. I would love to see Wenger slurge on someone like Simon Kjaer as he seems to be the one right now. Young and extremely talented. I’d be very positive about our chances next season, no matter who City, Utd and Chelsea sign, if we got someone like him, got Chamakh, and didnt sell ANYONE that we didnt want to already.

  • goonergerry

    Paul C I think you are right about Song-and it was RVPs first full game this year. Not sure about defenders-except experience is vital at central defence- the kind of experience we brought last year. This was an important game for Fabianski-he looked ok but had little to do-and didn’t have to deal with pressure. Maybe the Blackburn game will be more of a test.

  • tim

    What about Havard Nordtveit? Shouldn’t he be back challenging for a place next year?

    For me, Song has been the key all season.

  • Paul C.

    Yeah, Nordtveit is another one, though whether he’ll challenge for a midfield or defense place is unknown. Having versatility is great though. He has hardly played the past three months after having a very bright beginning to the season. I wonder if he’ll be sent out on loan for another season, perhaps in England, next year. He needs to play games somewhere.

    I think that is the one thing that is saving Fabianski in my mind. We all know it is hard to come into matches after having spent most of the season on the bench. For a ‘keeper, who relies so much on reflex actions and sudden decisions after periods of inactivity, that “match fitness” is even harder to find. He needs matches. I think he’ll play our last 2 now and if he makes it through without any further disasters, well, let’s just say there could be some apoplectic D&G’ers this summer cursing AW’s name as loudly as they can when he doesnt go for a ‘keeper.

    As long as AW buys a potentially dominant central defender, brings Campbell back, gets Djourou fit, and keeps the key players this summer, then I’ll be looking forward to next season immensely. If Fabianski has another screw-up then a ‘keeper definately gets added to that list.

  • Lanre

    Now speaking of buys, i hope we havent forgotten the great HOME-GROWN rule. Just frustrating pronouncing it. This means we cant all av those world class players we crave. Tony, or Walter, anyone; can u do an article on this ‘HOMEY’ rule citing the advantages n otherwise to us and other teams. (sorry Tony if i ask 2much. Just cant help myself on this blog)

  • cape gooner

    @ PaulC & goonergerry

    I agree that Song made a huge difference yesterday. However, I believe that Denilson would have also made a big difference. I hope he has the patience to fully recover from his back injury.

  • walter

    I also think that is a huge difference having Song or Denilson as DM. Eastmond is only 18 and is to young and has to learn a lot still in that position. But he is 3rd choice in that position and cause of all the injuries we can not move players with more experience around just like that anymore.
    With half of the injuries we have had we would be first this year, that is something I’m sure. Half the length of recovery time or half the numbers of players out doesn’t matter. After the beginning of our last run after the Chelsea defeat we had a moment with only a few injuries and we could rotate 4 or 5 players and we won our games. Now we can rotate almost no one and this is vital at such a moment in the season.

  • Rhys Jaggar

    Yesterday was like a funeral for 50 minutes and a North London derby for 40 minutes.

    Adebayor roundly booed by 54000 Gooners and Robin cheered like he’d won us the FA Cup when he scythed Adebayor down about 30 minutes after the ball had gone. The ref was smiling as he booked him, I’m sure…….

    Arsene didn’t seem to worried that no-one did what he told them to.

    Quite close to a few punch ups walking away from the stadium yesterday: young Mancs needing to square up to Gooners as taunts were flying just the wrong side of the line of acceptability. We just walked on, laughed and went for a curry.

    Pretty much the worst 90 minutes I saw at the Emirates in 4 years. You could admire City’s pressing defence on their 18 yard line and Sol did great again, but that was about that.

    How anyone can say Fabianski looked World Class when he had nothing to do is a joke. You look world class if you need to make a stop one-on-one.

    This site is starting to resemble a funny farm. I’m not a D&Ger, I’m just stating harsh reality. Just like Arsene says ‘don’t judge me on the FA Cup and the Carling Cup’, I say: judge goalkeepers on their decision-making when it matters, not on catching the odd cross and clearing the odd back pass when it doesn’t.

    Walter, Arsenal are not third yet unless matches are fixed. They need two more points. Since if we lost the last two and Spurs won the last three, they would finish one point in front of us. And if we drew one and lost one and Spurs put a few past Bolton and Burnley, which they might and beat Citeh, then they might pip us there too.

  • tim

    Paul C. — So true. The important thing is keeping the core together.

    If Fabianski performs well over the next 2 matches, I can easily see AW not buying and only bringing back Szcesny (sp?). The D&Gers and the press will go mad…

    I was using Google Translate on some German websites just now, and it seems that Nordtveit started at centre-back yesterday in a 2-3 loss to Borussia Dortmund…

  • tim

    Rhys — After what he’s been through, anything and everything is a positive for Lucasz.

    The way he “was catching the odd cross and clearing the odd back pass” oozed confidence, which is more than I can say about his games against Wigan and Porto.

    Definitely a positive match for him, and I hope he knows that. I don’t think that’s funny farm stuff by any means. It’s called trying to pick the kid up when he’s down.

  • Paul C.

    Rhys – as Tim said, there is often a “way of doing things” that is positive or negative. Against Porto you could see Fabianski was a bag of nerves. Even apart from the obvious mistakes he seemed to lack communication with his defenders and just was not reacting quickly. Against Wigan he was fine until the drop, but even there his communication and speed of decision making was poor.

    Yesterday his communication and decision making seemed 100% better. He looked like a proper ‘keeper. That is what we were saying, not that he was world-class. If you notice, we didnt say that anywhere. We said that yesterday he looked a top-class (not world-class) ‘keeper.

    And no, you dont look world-class if you stop a one-on-one. Almunia is OUTSTANDING in one-on-one situations. He has saved loads of them this season. So are you saying Almunia is world-class? One-on-one stops are like Cup competitions, great for the highlight reel but ultimately they tell you nothing about the qualities of the team/player. The class of a ‘keeper is revealed through the communication he has with defenders, the respect he has within the club, the way he does the little things (like catching crosses or re-starting possession). All that stuff. David Seaman was never all that great at one-on-one situations and got beaten by quite a few long-shots if you remember, but he was world-class, or are you saying Seaman was not world-class?

    No one is saying Fabianski is the second coming. What we are saying is that you shouldnt be surprised if AW doesnt buy a ‘keeper this summer. That isnt us saying he shouldnt, that is us saying he might not.

  • walter

    Rhys, I know third place ain’t 100% sure yet but I was talking about 4th place. And yes one could say you have to play in one round to book your place in the proper CL but I think in most people’s eyes this is almost the same. Arsenal has always qualified when for the CL when they had to play in those rounds.

  • Paul C.

    Tim – on Arsenal Youth they say Nordtveit played right-back yesterday.

    Versatility. That can only be good for the kid.

  • walter

    Song was great yesterday and I really can’t help thinking how important he has become for our team in the last 12 months. And still at the start of his career and still learning the job.

  • Paul C.

    I am happy to say that I was one of the few folks that was supporting Song 100% all through his Arsenal career. I remember watching him in his first pre-season match for us, when he was 17 and we were just trialling him. He strolled around the pitch, tackling people everywhere, and playing simple balls to those closest to him. Even when he went through his rough patch I remembered that and thought he could be a superb player. I was delighted last season when he began to show this form. I think the sky is the limit for Song. Flamini was only ever going to be so good, he had limitations throughout his physique and game. Song has none of those limitations. He can be Essien Mk II, or Song Mk I. That decision of Flamini’s to leave is now looking great for us, even if it did lead to some short-term pain. It allowed Song into the side and he has been growing ever since.

    He just needs to keep his head on straight and keep working.

  • walter

    I loved the way he battled against Viera, not affraid at all. And for a moment I was thinking that he would take Bellamy off the field for an boxing match. 😉
    Maybe we could get Flamini back as a cover for Song ? LOL.

  • scythe

    A very dismal performance yesterday. Citeh were poor and with a lot of attacking options in their team did nothing. Fabianski’s prayers must have been answered. Altough to be fair I thought and Campbell and at times Silvestre did a very good job. So we passed the ball to death. Nobody able to shoot and the bad old walk the ball into the net approach has crept into the game. Another strange selection from Wenger. Why not use the game to see how Nick and VanP can play together. We did nothing until Nick came on to make space for VP. The Terrifiing Theo was once again just dominating the game and justifuing his £60k a week wage. Errr..sorry that last sentence was pure fantasy. Another anonymous performance from old Twinkletoes! Nasri had a lot of the ball but is inconsistent. He is not as bad as Hleb. Hleb scored 6 goals or something like that in 3 seasons. Nasri has shown he has the ability to score – he just needs to be reminded. Oh! Isnt that what Wenger and the increasingly immobile Pat Rice should be doing? Is Pat dead and has been mumified to be wheeled out for each game so that Wenger doesnt have to get another coach with some new ideas? Lastly what was that fool Eboue doing at the end. After his African love-in with Adebayor, Toure and Song he then decides to do a lap of honour, with all his of his team mates gone, around the pitch and throws his shirt into the crowd. The stadium was emptying to people swearing their heads off at such a crap performance and this guy was acting as if we had just clinched the title. Asides from diving to get us a free kick all he did was lay-off poor back-passes. The guy is a class 1 lunatic.

  • Fem Dee

    @ Scythe
    You really lived up to your pen name with your comment on Toure!

    However, with respect to the team’s game, if you have no trophy to play for anymore, but need to defend your position on the Table, you might as well play safe.

    In the wake of the loss to Totts and Wigan as well as the rout at Citeh last year – not to mention flashes of fine form in several games under Mancini, I bet Arsenal was not feeling so sure they could put Citeh to the sword.

    Methinks playing keep ball and focusing on solid, error-free defending for 90mins must have featured prominently in the Arsenal practice games before the match.

    So, IMHO, I should think the team did the business as was necessary to rebuild confidence and ensure that 2 straight losses did not turn to 3. Citeh deserve more blame for not taking the game to us more aggressively – after all they needed to secure the 4th position more desperately; maybe if they had been able to do so it would stimulated a more robust reaction from us.