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New Arsenal management committee makes changes

The Arsenal Management Committee made up of blogmasters from the around the world (except me – they wouldn’t let me play and took the ball away), has made radical changes to the club.

As I exclusively revealed just before I had the last drink, Arsenal supporters now run the team and the club, in the style of Ebbsfleet. Thus in a move that has been dubbed Hamstergate, all the players have been told that they may no longer bring pets on the team bus. Morris Dancing outside London nightclubs has also been banned.

As a result of this Arsenal will today play their under 3’s side at Manchester City, being as they are without Fabregas (who is playing with his collection of football cards), Walcott (who was attacked by Lord Kitchener’s foot soldiers), King Kolo who has an injury, Gallas who is, in the words of Monty Python, obviously not the Messiah but simply a very naughty boy, and Eboue, who is, as we noted during the week, Eboue.

In a radical move everyone will be captain, each ordering him (or her, in case we draft in any members of the highly successful ladies team) self about in a peremptory manner. All except Djourou and Cliche who will remain utterly calm, cool, and by and large the sort of people you wouldn’t mind having a chat with in the pub on a quiet night.

Again as previously noted, the match will finish 15 minutes before the end to let the Management Committee get away before the rush.

4 comments to New Arsenal management committee makes changes

  • davi

    its funny you say that about clichy and djourou, it sounds crazy but johan is definitely captain material imo
    his performances havent been affected by this nonsense, even being left out the team despite being evidently the most on form defender in the squad atm
    i think it would be less risky than cesc – making him capt could either be amazing or just ruin him further i think
    plus hes hardly deserved it based on this year
    not glad hes injured or anything, but im pleased to see that walcott isnt playing today, hes been off-form and i dont believe he should be a regular starter for us. and i just dont believe hed be that much better up front, as is the popular opinion. its his decision-making in the final third thats a major problem. plus his 1 run out of defense every game, where he gets tackled and has thus far been lucky not to cause a goal

  • Martijn Stolze

    you’re right, seeing the result. Should Wenger start reading these blogs?

  • chris monroe

    its just a rough patch…. a painful rough patch… arsenal will be back. till then im gonna go get shit faced because well… duh…. but i did find this blog which i like… cheers

  • don't believe the hype

    I trust the man paid to do so to find a solution to our current problems more than any number of opinionated bloggers and journo’s out there.