Nat Whilk- Clerk.
Only nine questions today, for reasons that will not become apparent at this time
1: Who had the biggest Willie?
a) Willie Old
b) Wee Willie Winky
c) Willie Carson
d) Jeff Crabtree the man with the nicotine beard from the local tool hire shop
e) Arsenal, whilst Willie Young was playing for them.
2: Why was George Graham sacked from Arsenal?
a)stealing some sacks
b) stealing some dung,
c) taking a bung
d) taking away from a Chinese take away
f) Speaking in tongues at Anna Selswick’s new year séance party
e) Impersonating Elvis during his Vegas period
f) Dunno but he was better than Wenger.
3: Who missed Arsenal’s first penalty in the 1980 CWC final?
a) Liam Brady
b) Ian Brady
c) The Brady Bunch
d) Bunch of grapes
e) Old Grapple me grape-nuts at number 14
f) William F Buckley in his later years after a few sherrys.
h) Don’t be silly there is no Cup Winner Cup,
i) Who is Beethoven?
4: Who hates Untold the most?
a) Peter Wood
b) Ed Wood
c) Would like to come out but me Mum says no
d) Dennis Hill-Wood
e) Uncle Woodbine, the bloke from Bones stores who sold cigarettes kids but put them in a paper bag so the neighbours wouldn’t notice and grass him up to the old Bill. Everyone’s got to make a profit you know!
5: In what geographical location does Dr Billy Dog McGraw work?
a) Scratch wood
c) Itchy patch
d) He doesn’t, it’s a lie
e) Up North at Santa’s Grotto
f) Somewhere on the North circular Road
g) The underworld
6: Who is Untold Arsenal’s oldest poster?
b) Niklas Bendter
c) I didn’t nick ‘em officer, honest
d) Old Nick
e) Old hat
f) Harry Oldham the bloke from number 22 who always has his curtains closed even in the day.
7: Why was Liam Brady called Chippy?
a) he liked chips
b) he had a chip on his shoulder
c) he could chip the ball
d) he was a chip off the old block
e) it was a whole lot better than being called Fishy Hogsmead Swathmore III which nearly became his nickname in 1970.
8: What does AAA stand for?
a) Abolish Antique aggravation
b) ArduousAbusive Apertures
c) Anti Arsenal Arsenal
d) Agoraphobic Alice Aroused
d)Abnormal Agricultural Animals
e) Alienated Ancestors’ Anger.
9: What’s inside Dennis Bergkamps Allotment shed?
b) Brickfields Gunner
c) Walter making up the ref stats
d) The HQ for Le Grove
f) garden tools of course