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October 2016
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This could be a player we’ll love and love again.

By Tony Attwood, in gloating mood.

Let me start by taking you back, and for once, not right the way back to  25 July 2008 when I first pointed out that Coquelin had the potential to play for Arsenal.  Not that one again.  I’ve done that.  I mean, I know I said it and it was true, and that makes me a stunningly special visionary when it comes to Arsenal, but I like to stay modest with it, so no, not that one again.

This one is 3 August 2012 when I wrote,

Anyway assuming there are no last minute what-nots, Cazorla joins Lukas Podolski and Olivier Giroud, but Cazorla looks even better.  This could be a player we’ll love and love again.

Ladies and gentlemens, I rest my case.  Read Untold and you know not only what has happened but what will happen.

So, you will be asking, what about our team this coming season?  Here it is in all its glory…


Bellerin   Mert/Gabriel   Koscielny Monreal

Schneiderlin/Coquelin  Cazorla

Sachez  Ozil   Ramsey/Ox


The main loungers on the beach will be whichever of the four alternatives above (where I’ve given two players for a position) are not playing plus Jack Wilshere and Danny Welbeck.  The goalkeeper sub will presumably be Wojciech Szczesny.

Which then leaves Mathieu Debuchy, Kieran Gibbs, Calum Chambers, Carl Jenkinson, Mikel Arteta, Krystian Bielik, Gedion Zelalem, Mathieu Flamini, Tomas Rosicky, Serge Gnabry, Lukas Podolski, Joel Campbell, and Chuba Akpom.

Of these I think Jenkinson goes on loan, Flamini leaves if Schneiderlin does come in, Podolski and Campbell leave, and Akpom does the loans.

But now here’s the twist – or rather several twists.

Twist 1: we will be playing more variants depending on the opposition.  When we beat Man C away 0-2 the world of the journo down the pub was shocked to its core because they hadn’t seen that style change coming, and couldn’t admit they had got it all wrong.

Now we have many more style changes coming along in order to beat top four teams, and so we will see players moving not because they are dropped but because they are rotated for a specific challenge.

Teams are not revealed to the opposition until one hour before kick off, by which time each side has already set out its team on paper.  They won’t have a clue who we are going to put out.

Twist 2: yes we will have the usual assaults upon our players with zero action from referees who are either incompetent or taking part in Type III match fixing.  So some of our players will be removed forcibly but we will have backup.  Lots of backup.  Lots and lots of backup.

Twist 3: We not only have back ups we have players who can play out of position.  Coquelin is a perfect example as is Theo, now a man of two positions.

And I will make one other prediction – we are going to win the League Cup with the sort of backup we now have.

So what happens in the rest of the transfer window?  Or actually ALL of the transfer window since we ain’t started giving the glass a clean yet, let alone opening the bloody thing.

What we will do is play the old games.  If you are a long term reader you’ll know all this of course, but in case you’ve only just discovered this wonderful emporium of fortune telling and self-congratulation, here we go… with an update of the four types of transfers you can see from now on…

The Distraction Vapour Transfer

For this example we’ll take our old friend the imaginary player Uglješa Kovačević, happily playing for the imaginary FK Frontosa Topola in the Serbian Vojvodina League East.   If the word is out that Arsenal have found him and are looking to buy him, then that might be the truth of the matter.

It will be put out to the press to put Arsenal’s rivals off the true story which is (again using imaginary names) that Arsenal are getting very interested in 12 year old Dragan Bošković from FCKA Budućnosta in Montenegro.

The Mindless Gibberish Newspaper Transfer

On 26 June 2008  the Daily Mirror ran the headline, “Arsenal line up shock move for Peter Crouch.”  Need I say more?

The Deception Vapour Transfer

But supposing Real Manchester (an imaginary club) did some hype about Uglješa Kovačević, when in fact there was no deal at all going on anywhere.  And supposing they didn’t just let it slip that one of their vast array of scouts is out there looking, but instead suggested that this young player is so good that their chief scout was “ordered” to “drop everything” and damn well get out to Serbia and start negotiating.

That would be a much more sinister matter for it is a con deliberately set up to take up the time of the scouting resources of other clubs.  Naughty!

The Destructive Vapour Expectation

And now, consider Uglješa Kovačević.  Supposing the story goes around that Juventus or Man City or Chelsea or PSG… want him.

This of course is exactly the story that the media like.  They don’t have to do any work, because the story is fed to them.  No journalists on expensive trips to Serbia hunting down the player or the team.  Nothing.  Certainly NO CHECKING.

“Man City have been put on red alert following the training ground fall out between Southampton boss and the Saints young super star Uglješa Kovačević – who has only one year left on his contract.”

The story breaks, and the player thinks about all the money he could make with a move.  His head is turned so he says, “I’m not signing a new contract.”  Remember at this stage Juve or Man C don’t actually want the player and have no thought of the player – but now the whole story is running.  The point is not to turn the club, but to turn the head of a young player who has potential.

Now also the Man City fans and Juve fans are excited by the press story (which remember has no truth) and so are expecting the signing.  And Southampton, who have done nothing wrong, suddenly find that a player in whom they have invested a fortune, is planning to leave when there was every expectation that he would stay.

So who benefits from this?  Basically any club not involved in the ploy because Southampton are disrupted by having these stories circulate and the top clubs that are supposedly buying him are running around like headless chickens trying to work out why these stories are circulating.

If the manager of a big club that is supposed to be signing top players refuses to be drawn in, and the club win trophies, no one notices.  But if he refuses to deal and his club don’t win as much as expected, it will look bad – no matter what happens to the youngster. The manager of the big team will not only be criticised for not winning stuff, he’ll also be criticised for not signing this young man when he was there for the taking.  If the manager signs the youngster however he could well find that the youngster is nowhere near as good as he thought – and so he has wasted money.

Yep, it’s that time of year again.

PS: Schneiderlin has just been seen driving round and round the M25 looking for the exit.

Anniversary of the day  26 June 2012: Olivier Giroud joined Arsenal from Montpellier for about £9.6m. He had scored 30 goals in 61 games for Tours and then 33 goals in 73 games for Montpellier.   (Giroud scores his first goal)

37 comments to This could be a player we’ll love and love again.

  • colario

    BBC says that Cech is showing his tongue to the Arsenal medics today.
    I hope that is not true.

  • OnDGooner

    No not Giroud, never! We need a 20+ goal getter in the mould of Martinez, Higuain, Benzema, Suarez(yes the £40M+1 man). Giroud scores the spectacular headed or otherwise taken goal but never puts himself about like a typical goal poacher. Besides the chances he’s missed, I could have put away a good 80% of those!!

  • majorjoe

    Hi i noticed that Alex Song is available and very cheap.Schneider going to Man U he could be a good option.Did alright for West Ham knows the club still young enough.Sad when he left.

  • CB

    Congratulations on getting some predictions correct.

    Let us know the ones that you didn’t get correct and if there any that contradicted others (eg Coquelin will make it/Coquelin won’t make it).

    I’m not knocking you, just pointing out that it is very easy to get some predictions right if you make lots of them. If Santi and Coquelin were the only two predictions you made then lots of kudos to you.

    Also let me know how much money you’ve made on the stock exchange. That will finally convince me that ‘Read Untold and you know not only what has happened but what will happen.’

  • Jammy J

    The self-congratulating in every article is a bit tiring. Yes, Untold is head and shoulders above most media outlets (content-wise) and i really appreciate that, but theres no need for the constant elitism and snobbery on about 95% of the articles. A bit of humility would go a long way on here.

  • Jambug

    Jammy J

    Just look at it as a bit of an antidote to the constant criticism we still get, each and every day, in the media.

    A couple of days ago I read how Bergkamp was over rated.

    Today in the Scum it’s Jens wasn’t up to much.

    We have the ‘MEDIA’ telling us for days how Cech is a massive upgrade on the shite we have, and a consensus of how he’s going to be worth 15 points to us.

    Now we have the same Media telling us how ‘ARSENAL FANS’ are kidding themselves if they think Cech is going to change anything, because when all is said and done our keepers aren’t actually that bad after all. Nope, apparently it’s all the defences fault !!

    Read Mark Irwin in the Sun today for one of the most ridiculous pieces of Journalism I’ve had the displeasure of reading.

    Ok self congratulatory. Ridiculously positive. Even delusional.

    Say what you want, but I’d take all of it, each and every day.

    Thank god for the glorious haven of positivity that is Untold Arsenal.

  • Stan The Man

    Well done, good post sir. @ Colario. His tongue? Better that than his arse!

  • OK OnDGooner we’ll sign you.

    Giroud has scored 41 goals in 97 league games for Arsenal. That’s a high percentage by anyone’s standards. So that is what you have to beat. Can you do it.

  • Pete

    Why Schneiderlin in the possible line up? Seen nothing substantive whatsoever that Arsenal are looking to sign him. Could add another 100 or so players “linked” this summer! Only one with substance appears to be Cech.

  • Menace

    I suppose it had to happen sometime – a bouncing cech! It’s schneider here nor there at the moment but AKB!!!

  • Gooner S


    It seems your sense of humour is lost on some. 🙂

  • nicky

    The latest rumour is that Schneider has agreed to join Man Utd.
    I now await news from the Ems that we were not interested in signing him anyway. 😉

  • Notoverthehill

    Tony, are you using Radar?

    If,so, how can it track a person? By his keys ?, loose change?

  • Masterstroke

    Well done Tony for being able to mock yourself. Your hubris is actually quite endearing, and sending yourself up in this manner very brave.
    Time to get serious will be soon enough.

  • Stegner

    where does Vidal
    Fit in ?

  • Va Cong

    On a different note this anyone see this about Wenger writing to a dead fan?

  • Micheal Ram

    I hope the Cech transfer is a hoax. Did you guys watch the Ospina’s performance against Argentina? He was the only reason the match went to penalties before eventually losing. That double save from Aguero and Messi was breathtaking. More reason that Cech will be a liability.

  • Sav from Australia

    Agree with Jammy J. Some humility should be exercised. Let us leave the self congratulations to those of ill repute and ill intent towards Arsenal and football at large.

    If we are talking predictions, who are we predicting with certainty and clarity from the current crop of younger players will be a first team regular in 5 years?

    I predict no one because life is complicated.

  • TailGunner

    It looks to me as though Tony is sending himself up, which I find admirable.

  • Tom

    Michael Ram

    I can’t ,for the life of me, understand how Cech will be a liability because Ospina had a great performance for Colombia.

    Ospina showed in one game against Argentina what his game is all about.
    Great reflexes and shot stopping ability , but also questionable judgment – like when he came out for the through ball to Lavezzi in the 89 th minute, and missed it. The ball had to be cleared of the line by the defender.
    Harsh? , maybe, maybe not.

    Also , he didn’t get a single touch on any of the seven Argentina penalty shots, and the only two he guessed correctly that went in ( Lavezzi and Banega’s), he missed by few inches because of his short reach.

    Any keeper with a 6 foot 5 frame would have probably saved two or three Argentina penalties.

    It’s one thing to be sad to see Ospina go, I am too ,because he’s a likable player, but it’s another to exaggerate his ability and performance level.

    Whatever happened to Arsene knows best anyhow?

  • para

    Ref Va Cong’s post.

    It looks like the mirror can print real news when they are not making it up. Well, I might even take out a subscription now. 🙂

  • para

    OK, why we do not need Cech, come on AW, come on. 🙂

  • TailGunner

    I remember this same negativity re an incoming player last season when it was rumoured we might be interested in Welbeck.
    He’s become quite popular since.
    I know the circumstances were different and we desperately needed a stand in for Giroud, but how about making Cech feel a little bit welcome?

  • para

    Once he’s announced by Arsenal then of course he’ll be welcome.

  • Micheal Ram


    No arguments here. I used example of great saves Ospina can perform to support his GK spot while you pin-point one 89th min incident and penalties he conceded to support the Cech transfer. Are you implying that Cech never made a mistake? A YouTube load of it can prove you wrong. Since when height is a issue? Or saving penalties? If that’s an essence to be an Arsenal GK, Szech and Almunia will be playing legends. All these talk about Cech is better than our GK duo is a lie. Ospina is the best GK by ststs in EPL and Szech shared a Golden Glove with Cech in one season. The fact that £11million for soon-to-be 34 year old to replace almost a decade younger GKs who has better or equal records as him is hilarious. Say hi to your bandwagon mates anyway.

  • Tom

    Micheal Ram

    “Say hi to your bandwagon mates anyway.”

    I would, but it’s a big wagon and Wenger is driving it 🙂

    Also , if Ospina is available and he is soooo good , why such a moderate interest in him from Fenerbahce only ( apparently).
    While Cech was wanted by PSG, Man U and others , for even more than what Wenger seems to have paid for him?

    All those proffesional managers being mistaken then?

  • Tom – or, alternatively, the media just following each other, and no one really knows, but they always write as if they do.

  • Tom

    True about the media.
    There’s no downside to claims of having an inside scoop on transfers.
    One can always say the deal was on but for whatever reason it fell through.

    Cech transfer rumors appear to be different though.

  • Tom

    Are all my comments being relegated to the moderation purgatory indefinitely, or do I have a chance of redeeming my sins? 🙂

  • I’ll see what I can do Tom, but moderation is not an exact science. I’ll have a look.

  • Tom


  • Micheal Ram


    Your assumption of AW in the same wagon is funny. Cech has not signed yet, no word from Arsenal and no comments so far from AW himself. You need a medicine from this media plague. If it’s official, then I’m done here. Until the moment comes, please show some respect to our GKs.

  • Jerry


    just wanted to correct your statement in regards to Welbeck. Most people at Untold clearly supported the purchase of Danny Welbeck. The only people that were against it were the media and fans of the media darling United.

  • porter

    Re Ospina and penalties , since 2009-10 season we have conceded 6 a season on average . All of the ones taken by Argentina were put low into the corners or high into the corners . Frequently he went the right way but was unable to get a hand on them.

  • ob1977

    Right I know we as a club don’t generally talk about transfer speculation, but has anyone quoted Wenger in any way shape or form on Cech? If so I’ve missed it..

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Cech comes with a deceptive coach smokescreen vapour – the opposing striker thinks he is on a one on one with the keeper , but suddenly out of the London fog appears a ghostly apparition of a parked bus , which stuns and confuses him.
    Enter Cech , to collect the ball all nonchalantly , while the striker looks a real dunce .

    This I too would pay top dollar for .

  • Brickfields Gunners

    At the present moment , the bus comes only in the blue of Chelski .
    With a ghastly picture of that creep of a manager on the side !
    Yeeccchhh !