By Sir Hardly Anyone
Arsenal have a keeper, and still need a defensive midfielder and a centre forward. That’s the story, so what’s new?
Keeping people waiting is not a good idea, especially when they are waiting in anticipation. Too much anticipation can cause many awful illnesses including the onset of early dementia.
Of course I am not a medic and I leave those matters in the most capable hands of Dr Billy “the Dog” McGraw, but I would warrant that some sort of forgetfulness was in the (or not in the) mind of the writer of today’s Headline of the day
Breaking: Arsenal FINALLY Make ANNOUNCEMENT Regarding New SIGNING
What does that mean? Well, I think it means that Arsenal have made an announcement. The story below the HEADLINE tells us that the topic that the announcement is all about is the shirt numbers that players will have this coming season. The writer writes…
On a number of occasions in the past two years, the club’s official Instagram account has displayed the shirt numbers of new arrivals like Mesut Ozil, Alexis Sanchez and Danny Welbeck.
However, this time there is no information revealed till now and it would be interesting to see what number is given to the veteran keeper.
So the announcement is not an announcement then. Or no announcement.
But what of these numbers I hear you cry. Surely there is something! Well…
Hector Bellerin has gone up the charts from 39 to 24 (Diaby’s latter day number). Isaac Hayden now has 42 and Chuba Akpom 32, both confirming the club’s continuing belief in them. Number 9 is now absent following the farewell of Podolski.
“But what,” I hear you ask, you persistent little bugger, “is your number Sir Hardly?”
Of course I don’t have one, but I am not sure if you realise that these days Untold is getting 800,000 page views a month. Quite a lot really. And they all need to be entertained. Quite a responsibility.
And of course many of those who do attend this august forum of news and revelation do so in order to learn exactly who, what, where, how, when and other things beginning with “w” – except “how” which ends with a “w”
But I digress. The issue today, as all the world agrees is that Arsenal need a defensive midfielder and an centre forward. Discussions as to why and what becomes of the people we have got are thrust aside with a rude push in a back, and the mantra is repeated.
And who will they be?
Well now we know: In midfield its William Carvalho, for it is definitely he who is coming, as I read in a report of a report of a report. Except there may be a problem because the smash headline Defensive midfielder agrees to sign contract on Goonernews leads to the shocking revelation that the page on the internet is missing!!!! Shock horror 404.
However not to worry for the centre forward reports of reports of fresh reports say Arsenal are ready to break the bank for Vidal. Although some sites are still pushing the merits of Higuain.
And what are we to make of all this? Well, according to the Telegraph none of it is true because
So it is all off. But wow, no, look….
Arsenal have joined Manchester United in the hunt for Germany international Mario Gotze after his agent slammed Bayern Munich for their treatment of the player.
Volker Struth was scathing in his assessment of the way the Catalan coach has treated his client, who he says needs to feel the faith of the club.
The World Cup winner with Germany had been expected to play a starring role last season but was shuffled around positionally by Guardiola before being dropped for crucial semi-final ties in the Champions League and DFB-Pokal.
But don’t get too excited, because this notion of putting up a headline and then contradicting it totally in the body of the text is spreading.
And the 23-year-old’s representative has pointed the finger of blame at the trainer as the reason for the midfielder not fulfilling his potential so far, though he also ruled out an exit as of now .
But still, “Guardiola has destroyed Gotze. He feels like the coach doesn’t have faith in him and yet still he is asked to be decisive when he gets on the pitch,” Volker Struth told Bild , is worth a bit of a read. Goal.com is the source of all that fun.
In reply, the Telegraph asks,
but fails to answer the question as apparently no one at the paper could remember.
The Metro, meanwhile, says Arsenal have been cleared to sign Karim Benzema, with Real Madrid reportedly open to selling him. The price is £17.8 million bid for the France international.
But there is always a snag.
Man United are also thought to be interested in Benzema, as they look to replace Radamel Falcao.
Of course we are now deep into the insanity season, so as virtually everyone who can kick a ball has been touted as an Arsenal man we are now in the “not coming” line up.
Arsenal’s long-term target, Morgan Schneiderlin, is set to join Manchester United as soon as they meet Southampton’s £25 million asking price, while the Gunners are not interested in Arturo Vidal and Ilkay Gundogan has signed a new deal at Borussia Dortmund.
Ospina meanwhile is still waiting for Fenerbahce while his suitors are saying that the keeper is on holiday and can’t be contacted.
But there is a DONE DEAL. Oh yes oh yes.
Jordi Osei-Tutu from Reading is a 16-year-old, who can also play in central midfield or on the wing. He has joined up with Vlad Dragomir and Yassin Fortune.
I must say I love these guys names’. Of course we used to have Geoff Strong, but if you can’t get a Geoff Strong then Vlad Dragomir and Yassin Fortune will suit me down to the ground. In fact I demand that Untold immediately signs a writer called Jordi Vlad Dragomir Fortune.
You heard it here first. (If you read this far, that is).
Did you know we Twit? @UntoldArsenal
And just to prove some transfers do happen on this day
8 July 1990: Anders Limpar signed from Cremonese. He played 94 league games in a four year spell at Arsenal, before moving on to Everton. He later won the Swedish league with AIK. After retiring in 2000 he went into coaching and then business.