By Tony Attwood (fresh back from the wilds of Norfolk where there is no mobile connection, but Jools Holland played a rather fine outdoor concert).
Now, we have learned a lot this week. We learned for example that after three games, Arsenal were out of the race for the title, because only 10% of the teams that win the Premier League do so after 1 win, 1 draw and 1 defeat in the first three.
The league table that I find on making my way back to civilisation today shows that there are only four teams that have thus failed failed to succumb to what must be every club’s dreaded position of being around the status of Arsenal, or indeed below it.
So clearly if Arsenal can’t win the league, then nor can any club that slips below them. So now we are down to Man C., Crystal Palace, Leicester, Man U. Another week and I suspect we will know exactly who has won the title, and then, I guess we might as well pack up the 2015/16 season, and play friendlies.
Or maybe start the 2016/17 season early, to avoid the international commitments of next summer.
|7||West Ham United||4||2||0||2||9||6||3||6|
|14||West Bromwich Albion||4||1||1||2||3||6||-3||4|
I suppose it says a lot about just how bad the Premier League is now that Arsenal are fifth. Chelsea must be wondering what to do actually being below the most notoriously awful side in the history of the Premier League, Arsenal. As for Tottenham, who have the benefit of the most clever negotiator of player contracts in the history of player contracts, they have not actually won a game. I can’t quite understand why, because they have a sensational wonder striker and if only we had a player like him we would be laughing.
Oh sorry, I am laughing. Must try and stop that. Obviously the North Sea air.
Of course you know, if you read Untold even occasionally, I’m larking about. You can’t judge the league after four games, and the statistics of what can and can’t happen are notoriously fickle.
But hell, who care about statistics? After all, earlier this week we ran the table showing all the clubs who had sacked their managers in the Premier League in the last 15 years, and pointed out that it was extremely rare to find that such a sacking led to improvement. Not impossible, but very rare.
And did the anti-Wengerian faction actually debate that point? Not really. They talked of something else. It was ever thus. Sometimes I don’t know why I bother.
But bother I do and thankfully there are only a few days of transfer window shopping left, and so I have commissioned a new article from Sir Hardly Anyone on this transfer window, looking back at some of the highlights of all these mystical players who were not actually about to sign, but had already signed. Just think of all the money Arsenal have wasted by signing all these people (some of them signed 10 or more times in the space of a month), and then never playing them, and then shipping them back to the clubs they came from. If we hadn’t done that, well, we’d have all that money in the bank still, ready to buy someone – if he becomes available.
I watched the first half of the Newcastle game before trotting off to the wilderness of no-phone-signal land (and as I discovered later, not even a decent Radio 5 signal on medium wave) and what struck me was that there were quite a few Newcastle fans who actually believed that the ref was right in not awarding us a penalty, and was wrong in sending off and booking player after player from Newcastle.
I know we are all positive about our own team and howl at the opposition, but even so, that was taking it a bit far, and is rather worrying in terms of any sort of understanding that those supporters have of the game. Newcastle booing Coquelin is like Stoke booing Ramsey. It puts the club beyond the pale of civilisation.
However that is not my concern. My concern is that after just four games we have had a goal that was perfectly good disallowed, and an obvious penalty disallowed. As the man on Radio 5 said (when I could get a signal) “I cannot believe how the referee did not see that”.
On this basis Arsenal will miss out on 19 goals this season.
Liverpool on the other hand obviously didn’t get their phantom goal yesterday – which must be very worrying. After getting the insanely awarded goal against Bournemouth and managing to have a ref who turned down the legitimate Arsenal goal against them, they must have thought, as I did, that they were set fair for the season.
Anyway, I shall gather my thoughts and consider matters further, later today I hope. Meanwhile I leave you with a few headlines quoted in full (just in case you thought I was making them up).
- José Mourinho rounds on players for limp display against Crystal Palace – the Guardian
- Mourinho hits out at Chelsea players – Telegraph
- ANALYSIS: MOURINHO MAKES CRAZY CHANGE TO SHAKE UP DEFENCE – Independent (who obviously think that if they don’t write things in block caps we’ll miss it)
- Spurs stay winless after drab goalless draw – The Guardian
- Spurs make worst start to Premier League in seven years as Kane fires blank – Independent
- Kane in desperate need of help – Telegraph
And the shock horror transfer news…..
- Latest news on the Untold Banner (as of 25 August)
- A Memorial to the founders of Arsenal’s Highbury dynasty.
- The petition to raise a Parliamentary Debate about State Aid for the new WHU stadium is running. If you feel that there should be an investigation and you are resident in the UK, please do sign the petition.