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October 2016
« Sep    

Oh no, it’s Pulis away. Push-knock-kick-shove-foul-push-kick-shove.

By Bulldog Drummond.
R Team Shots pg Discipline Possession% PassSuccess% Rating
1 Arsenal 16.1 682 55.7 83.8 7.15
2 Manchester City 17.6 772 57.0 84.6 7.07
3 Chelsea 14.8 734 54.1 83.2 7.06
4 Manchester United 13.5 645 58.8 85.1 6.99
5 Southampton 13.4 573 51.9 79.7 6.91
6 Liverpool 15.5 663 54.4 82.8 6.90
7 Tottenham 13.9 794 55.3 81.2 6.89
8 Stoke 13.2 821 50.2 77.5 6.87
9 Swansea 11.2 485 50.7 82.1 6.86
10 West Ham 12.9 642 46.7 74.6 6.85
11 Leicester 12 504 44.8 71.1 6.84
12 Crystal Palace 11.6 634 42.7 69.4 6.83
13 Everton 12.7 662 53.6 82.5 6.82
14 Burnley 11.3 642 44.0 70.4 6.79
15 West Bromwich Albion 10.8 643 44.9 75.0 6.77
16 Queens Park Rangers 14.1 753 46.3 70.8 6.77
17 Hull 11.3 736 45.6 76.5 6.75
18 Sunderland 10.7 942 46.2 76.1 6.75
19 Newcastle United 12.3 657 48.1 76.9 6.74
20 Aston Villa 11 707 49.1 79.0 6.69

And just to make it easier here is our direct comparison with WBA

R Team Shots pg Discipline Possession% PassSuccess% Rating
1 Arsenal 16.1 682 55.7 83.8 7.15
15 West Bromwich Albion 10.8 643 44.9 75.0 6.77

Not a bad state of affairs.

Nor is it with the actual league table.  You will notice that we have more shots per goal, but also that we score more than twice as many goals.  I fancy we might get one or two today.

Team P W D L F A G.D. Pts
Arsenal 12 8 2 2 22 9 13 26
Pulis 12 4 2 6 10 16 -6 14

Here’s the approximate team


Sanchez Ozil Campbell

Cazorla Coquelin

Monreal Kos Mert Bellerin


On the beach, not that there is much beach in the West Midlands: Ospina, Macey, Debuchy, Chambers, Gibbs, Gabriel, Flamini, Arteta, Iwobi

Tony Pulis is demanding time to get WBA right, in terms of his mould, but a few WBA fans have taken a look at the aaa that infests Arsenal like a slurry of sludge on a warm sunday and instead of taking it as a warning have seen it as a blueprint.   If we can get an early goal the moaning winging and whining that we know only too well from the semi-skimmed side of support could start up and that can only be in our favour.

The WBA problem is that Pulis plays ugly nasty football, which is ok if your team are winning of if, like Stoke City fans, you don’t care as long as you can be part of a howling mob for a couple of hours.  But if the Pulisian model isn’t working, in other clubs the whole thing falls down.

Here’s our recent results, since it has been a while since there was any football…

This month

Competition Result Date
Premier League Arsenal 1-1 Tottenham Sun 8 Nov
Champions League – Group F Bayern Mun 5-1 Arsenal Wed 4 Nov

Last month

Competition Result Date
Premier League Swansea 0-3 Arsenal Sat 31 Oct
League Cup –Fourth Round Sheff Wed 3-0 Arsenal Tue 27 Oct
Premier League Arsenal 2-1 Everton Sat 24 Oct
Champions League – Group F Arsenal 2-0 Bayern Mun Tue 20 Oct
Premier League Watford 0-3 Arsenal Sat 17 Oct
Premier League Arsenal 3-0 Man Utd Sun 4 Oct

So I make that played 8 won 5 lost 2 drawn one.  WBA have played just five games against our eight, but their results have been won two lost three.  Their results across their last eight games total up as won 3 lost 5.  They don’t do draws.

This month

Competition Result Date
Premier League Man Utd 2-0 West Bromwich  Sat 7 Nov

Last month 

Competition Fixture Date
Premier League West Bromwich 2-3 Leicester Sat 31 Oct
Premier League Norwich 0-1 West Bromwich Sat 24 Oct
Premier League West Bromwich 1-0 Sunderland Sat 17 Oct
Premier League Crystal Palace 2-0 West Bromwich Sat 3 Oct

The Bayern away score was rather nasty but the rest has been pretty much ok I’d say.  Arsène Wenger has said he will talk to Laurent Koscielny and Olivier Giroud.  “Sometimes it hits you more two or three days later than on the night. On the night you try and protect yourself or not know what’s going on. But slowly you realise the shock is a bit after.”

Onto the goals.

Our leading scorer of course is Sánchez with six, but he has travelled the world played silly games and come back.  West Bromwich have two players on three goals.  But they also have Yacob and Brunt on four cards, anxious not to get a fifth and a suspension.   West Brom will be without defender Gareth McAuley following his red card against Manchester United.  Our worst offender is Coquelin with three yellows in the league.

So far this season West Bromwich have only won one home game, compared to three away which is why the locals are getting a bit irritable.  And they have let in three goals four times at home this season.  We have scored 17 in the last six and won five of the last six (but you knew that didn’t you).

According to the BBC Pulis said recently, “Arsenal are an absolutely wonderful football club, it’s always been a very special club for me, as a lad who was born in the 1950s.   They have a great opportunity this year of winning the title, they have a genuine chance.”  Hmmmmm.

Mr Wenger said, “I watched them against Man United and they looked a very well organised team and – as always with a Tony Pulis side – fully committed.   On top of that they are in a difficult situation a little bit in the Premier League and you expect what you always expect in the Premier League – a committed, physical, fast game and a game where we cannot afford to make any mistakes.”

Add to that the fact that the only PL defeat we have had in nine games at the Hawthorns was in 2005.  That is one victory in 19 games at their place.  We lost 2-1.

We’ve lost one in nine games against WBA; winning seven with two draws.

  • West Bromwich have won one of their six home games in the league this season, losing four drawing one.  Only Villa have a worst home record – it must be something in the water in the West Midlands.
  • The Pulisian magic being worked means his team have scored 10 goals in 12 league games – the joint fewest in the top flight along with Stoke (still suffering a Pulisian hangover) and Aston Villa whom our old mate Remi will quickly turn around.


EPL 24-05-2015 Arsenal 4 : 1 West Bromwich Albion
EPL 29-11-2014 West Bromwich Albion 0 : 1 Arsenal
EPL 04-05-2014 Arsenal 1 : 0 West Bromwich Albion
EPL 06-10-2013 West Bromwich Albion 1 : 1 Arsenal
Lg Cup 25-09-2013 West Bromwich Albion 1 : 1* Arsenal


As for us we have the best away form in the Premier League this season, winning five out of six while scoring 11 in the last three league games away including the wonderful 5-2 win at Leicester and conceded two in the last five league games.

Oh yes and Olivier Giroud has scored in four of his last six league games.

Which takes us onto the injury table. Now there must be a mistake here because Arsenal are not drowning under a sea of injuries with every other team hardly having any at all.  Even Physio Room (from whom I take the numbers) can’t quite cope and have still got Bellerin injured, but he isn’t.

1 Liverpool 11
2 Newcastle United 10
3 Manchester United 8
4 Everton 7
5 Manchester City 7
6 Arsenal 6
7 Aston Villa 6
8 Bournemouth 6
9 Tottenham Hotspur 5
10 West Ham United 5
11 Chelsea 4
12 Crystal Palace 4
13 Southampton 4
14 Stoke City 3
15 Watford 3
16 Leicester City 2
17 Norwich City 2
18 Sunderland 2
19 West Bromwich Albion 2
20 Swansea City 0
West Bromwich have two as you can see, plus one suspension.  Or put it another way if their name was AFC West Brom and ours was Zee Arsenal we’d be in 8th and they be in 17th.
We have two returnees from injury for Tuesday… the Ox and Ramsey.   Here are our top player ratings although of course the low number of games played by Campbell may be causing a false reading.   Figures from

65 comments to Oh no, it’s Pulis away. Push-knock-kick-shove-foul-push-kick-shove.

  • Menace

    Nice to see “Let’s be ‘avin’ you” above “Couldn’t happen surely”. Wally with the brolly doing a Fat Sam with 2 years grace is hopefully better than “Couldn’t happen surely”.

    Wouldn’t it be nice to wave adieu to Maureen? The games are all live on TV in India so I will enjoy watching the game with dire commentators – ex players with ability to wear boots & kick — obviously. ‘Obviously’ being a favourite word during interview.

    May the winds of change blow in our favour this season.


  • colario

    Using imaginative names for clubs is great. However when the name is obscure to all but those in on the point of reference than they are pointless.

    I always refer to spuds or totties as ‘ The mob’ to those who know me but I would never think to use the name because the term ‘The Mob’ could refer to any club.

    A positive example: ‘Neverton’ contains the name of the club. They never win anything so ‘neverton’ the name of the club can be seen by any football follower. The same with ‘looserpool’

    ‘State aided’ is a good name if you are in the know if not its closed to you. You have no idea.

    Everyone who uses he internet knows the word ‘spam’ so ‘wet spam’ has a suggestion of ‘west ham’ or in the old days when ‘spam’ was a type of cold meat.

  • Andy Mack

    “Our leading scorer of course is Sánchez with six,”
    Are 6 goals scored by a Chilean worth more than the 6 score by a Frenchman?

  • Menace

    colario – the translation of the names are in the attached league table position for position. So its not complicated. Enjoy. I just love the humour without malice.

  • colario

    Correction o paragraph above:
    ”I always refer to spuds or totties as ‘ The mob’ to those who know me but I would never think to use the name because the term ‘The Mob’ could refer to any club.”

    Would never think to use the name here
    because the term ‘The Mob’ could refer to any club

  • nicky

    I must say I don’t like the look of today’s beach too much. We are scraping the barrel with goal-scorers, with only Iwobi available.
    I hope Alexis lasts out, he really is having to earn his corn these days. 😉

  • colario

    Menace I hope you not accusing me of ‘malice’

    If you are in the know as to the league position you don’t have to check it but if you don’t know you either forget it or check it.

    The title of the program of this link will not be known to everyone but the reference is explained in the program. It is about wet spam and their move to the state aided stadium.

  • Jerry

    Excellent preview as usual! Hoping for a comfortable victory that will allow Alexis to get subbed early to get some rest for the rest of the season.

    I think what Menace is trying to say is that if you look at Untold from a desktop, provides a league table on the right side with the actual club names so can be referenced easily if confusion on the creative names in the article.

    On mobile, that league table on the right might not show up though, so you only see the table mentioned in the article.

  • Gord

    Loanees: Hull losing 0-1 to Bristol at half time. Hull has 4 yellow cards and one substitution (injury) already. Akpom started, and Hayden is (again) on the bench. Akpom was fouled once (only mention).

    Come on Watford, tie up that game!


  • The point about the silly names is that they are silly, and I’m sure everyone reading Untold is able to work out who’s who. Untold has done this sort of name changing thing since it was founded – because we are “Untold”. We do things differently from other sites.

    But of course like all humour it is not going to appeal to all. On the other hand calling the club State Aid Utd doesn’t half wind up supporters of the club, and that can’t be a bad thing, can it?

    Man U 1-0 up against Watford at half time.

  • And in case you missed it, the under 21s lost 0-1 to Stoke last night. The perfect run has ended.

    1 Macey
    2 Mavididi
    3 Kamara
    4 Willock
    5 Sheaf
    6 Hinds
    7 Bielik
    8 Iwobi
    9 Bola
    10 Crowley
    11 Pleguezuelo

    Iwobi came off at half time.

  • Gord

    Gibbs on the wing! A different slant on things.

    Bellerin Koscielny Mertesacker Monreal
    Coquelin Cazorla
    Gibbs Ozil Sanchez

    Ospina, Debuchy, Gabriel, Arteta, Flamini, Campbell, Reine-Adelaide

  • That seems fair enough. Gibbs started his career in that position, and has come on in that position as a sub in the last few games – and indeed did what we wanted in the last match. Could be a very good move, but I fear for Campbell’s future.

  • Glad to see Kos has recovered from the trauma of Paris. Also Jeff Reine Adelaide must be looking good to be getting his place on the beach.

  • Watford 1 Man U 1 with four minutes left. Penalty

  • Oh dear Watford 1 Man 2 – own goal

  • colario

    I know Man U as ‘manure’. You can see the name in the adapted name.

    This site is not limited to those in ‘the know’. If it was it would be understood only only by those ‘in the know’,

    I have no gripes with the term ‘ State aid’ For those in the know it can refer to wet spam or man city both are state aid.

    To those not in the know then to whom does it refer?

    Clarity as we well know is the driving force of good publicity and advertising.

    From personal experience I wrote a piece that began ‘The two Friesian Horse stood in the field’.
    My editor ‘Whats a Friesian horse?

    I said that they are all black.

    He said ‘then say what every body knows only then does everybody know what your are talking about.’

    I am all for humour and funny names for clubs but I believe the funny name loses its humour if you don’t know the point of reference.

    Funny – humourous. Serious – informative.

  • Gord

    Drat, no favours from Watford. Oh well, ….

    Hull tied up their game, Akpom’s replacement scoring. Hayden never got off the bench.

    Wellington still out for Bolton. Martinez is injured for Wolves. Maitland-Niles is on the bench for Ipswich. Toral starts for Birmingham.


  • Colario, I do understand your point, but the problem with it is that we end up writing everything down to a level where more and more people can understand it immediately without doing any work.

    And my point would be, what is the problem when getting readers to do a bit of work? If we write more and more so that more and more people can understand our language then the language gets more and more restrictive.

    But anyway, we publish the normal league table on the right, and the silly titled one on the left, and that seems fair enough to me. Or maybe it is just I have a ludicrous love of the obscure.

  • Kenneth Widmerpool

    COYG! missed the opening minutes, whats happened to Le Coq ( I saw he was subbed?)

  • Kenneth Widmerpool


  • GoingGoingGooner

    another assist for Oezil!!! Nice touch by Giroud off of the free kick

  • GoingGoingGooner

    A good yellow from Bellerin to stop a break.

  • Gord


    I’m reading, not watching. As I understand things, Coquelin went to tackle Yacob, and Yacob seen him coming. It sounds like a knee injury.

  • Menace

    colario stay cool my friend. Bellerin gets a yelloy but strangely WBA have done a lot more fouling withot cards!!

    Come pn you super gunners!!

  • Al_The_Gunner

    so it is a yellow…
    and it’s bellerin’s
    but all WBr’s pushing and kicking is OK…

  • para

    Im wondering what AW was thinking when Giroud scored? I would like to think that he stood up and cast a stern eye on the refs and Pullis methods.

    They’ll get a pen i’ll bet.

  • Menace

    Ollsen had Mert in ahold & allowed a high ball through. Poor PGMO again!!

  • GoingGoingGooner

    I didn’t get a close look at Arteta’s foul that led to the WBA goal. He was vexed that the foul was given…Did he get the ball cleanly?

  • GoingGoingGooner

    I think Arteta was right on the 1st goal…he got the ball cleanly and the WBA player just fell over him…no contact.

  • Al_The_Gunner

    no… there was no any foul from arteta when WBA score first goal
    that was clearest play from arteta. and ref the fuck face was just looking at it

  • Kenneth Widmerpool

    thanks Gord…coyg!

  • Andrew Crawshaw

    The commentators on Arsenal player were adamant that the Arteta foul wasn’t one. I am always ready to admit when I’m wrong and so far I have been in my ref preview this week – sorry.

  • SheWoreAYellowRibbon

    Today has been one in the eye for all those AAA idiots who said we should have signed schneiderin as Arteta was past it.

  • Menace

    Clattenburg has a PGMO agenda & ignores all the holding by WBA. It is a travesty but also a reality. In football cheats prosper.

  • GoingGoingGooner

    My GOD, the WBA CBs are not even pretending to hide their hands on Mertesacker and Giroud on corners. Their hands are wrapped around and touching each other! Got to teach the boys some freestyle wrestling defence. A 2 on 1 hand defence ought to do it.

  • Josif

    There was one big mistake from Clattenburg so far – Arteta’s tackle was clean.

  • para

    WBA the new “Stoke”. Clear offences ignored by the refs allowed them to play unhindered is my impression.

  • GoingGoingGooner

    45 min left…Let’s go you Gunners!

  • Menace

    The bear hugs are at corners. The brute force on Bellering before taking the ball is regarded as strong tackle. It is a foul as the player is fouled cause the ball has not been touched. PGMO are devoid of honesty no matter how much one looks at the game. In the United game there were so many fouls not given & so many bookings ignored. Officials decide this league not players in fair football.

  • GoingGoingGooner

    Oezil hits the post

  • GoingGoingGooner

    Arteta going off…Flamini on

  • Al_The_Gunner

    no cards no fouls….
    nice job ref

  • Al_The_Gunner

    clear penalty on giroud….

  • GoingGoingGooner

    some sterile posession just outside of the WBA box. This is where I like Ramsay and his runs or Walcott and his quickness…sigh

  • GoingGoingGooner

    One player that has impressed me a bit today is Gibbs. I think he has done well on the left flank.

  • GoingGoingGooner

    Oh Campbell missed a great chance…defender slipped and Cazorla’s cross…just needed to side foot it at the net but knocked it wide.

  • GoingGoingGooner

    some great pressure by Arsenal

  • GoingGoingGooner


  • GoingGoingGooner

    Santi skies it 🙁

  • Menace

    So mmuch cheating and PGMO wins!!!

  • GoingGoingGooner

    foot slipped

  • GoingGoingGooner

    miss aside…what was all that rubbish by WBA after the penalty was given?

  • GoingGoingGooner

    Campbell… 🙁

  • SheWoreAYellowRibbon

    Pgmol cheating is getting out of hand. Clattenburg put cazarola off as he ran to take the pen.

  • SheWoreAYellowRibbon

    Actually he ordered a retake and then changed his mind. Even BBC saying it’s incredible.

  • GoingGoingGooner

    Not our day…

    1st WBA goal was a gift by the PGMO representative
    2nd WBA goal was bad luck
    3rd Santi misses a penalty

  • Menace

    There is no excuse. Just a clear reason to state that PGMO are cheating the game of fair officiating. A Yellow in added on time for time wasting & not a second added!!

    It is a corrupt lot of FA cheats.

  • WalterBroeckx

    match report is online

  • 5th Gen Gooner

    Wondering if the WBA players scuffed the penalty spot the way Cazorla went down?

  • I hate the manager of the month shit and the player of the month crap.
    The player gets crooked and the manager loses or draws its crap.

  • 5th Gen Gooner

    Just hope we get some players back to fitness toot-sweet otherwise it could be a dark December. For all the possession we hardly created any chances and defensively…well… COYG!

  • 5th Gen Gooner

    Feel sorry for Arteta but I do think he’s past his usefulness. Flamini would have been my first choice to replace Coq. It was never a free-kick though, got the ball first.

  • Goéland

    Honestly? Arsenal didn´t have the best of games. First of all, in my opinion there was a foul by Arteta on that first goal. Not with his tackling leg, but there´s an angle that shows he does trip the West Brom player with the other one. Then the marking was beyond atrocious on the free kick (Arteta again and Bellerín were at fault, from what I managed to see). A lot of bad defending, Mertesacker in particular, and Bellerín caught out of position a few times. Arteta´s entrance was catastrophic, and given Flamini´s really decent performance when he came on, he clearly should get the nod from now on in case Coquelin can´t play. As for Cazorla´s penalty, I have no idea why he was the designated shooter. How many times this season has he been in a good spot, and just refused to take the shot? Moreover, not having scored since February was bound to take its toll psychologically on him, especially at such a crucial juncture of this kind of game.

    On the bright side, this was by far Alexis´s best performance of the season, a fabulous game by him. Koscielny also had a very solid game, and I really liked what I saw from Gibbs on the left flank, a lot of very good first touches. Shame for Özil his shot hit the post, it deserved a better fate. Fantastic assist again, obviously.