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October 2016
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Fans will love this newest addition to Arsenal

by Brickfields Gunners

As Walter goes through his 12 part  ‘  Looking back at 2015 ‘  series over the next few days (he’s at present  on  – part 3. Özil, Alexis, Bellerin, Coquelin,) [actually Brickfields – it was just a three part piece – do try and pay attention – the editor],  I on the other hand am going to look forward to 2016 . The first of which is regarding the newest addition that the fans will love .

What most of the media have not caught up on their radar was the  breaking news that a new item  to commemorate another Arsenal legend  was ‘ unveiled ‘ outside the Emirates beside the other statues, at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Day 2016 , and  the Arsenal fans attending the Newcastle  game got a real treat .
This faux pas could be of course be excused as most of the press were down at the pub drowning  their sorrows  at the abject failure in getting it all wrong last year . That they always get it wrong every year  for the last 20 years has not quite hit them yet. Walter will be gloating, …sorry highlighting it in  part 8 of his series.
This secretive unveiling was a well planned event by the Arsenal board ,and was witnessed by a selected group , that included  certain members of the club ,  members of the Invincible team of  2004  and  some  hardcore AKBs  from Untold Arsenal .  Why ? Well this new addition  is not a statue at all ! Confused ? Good ! Let us say that this work can only be seen   and appreciated by those of unshakable faith and pure of heart .
 This project is the  handiwork of  die hard Arsenal fan , avowed  AKB  and  deceptionalconceptional artist , Stephen Miller ,whose dream it was to have his work exhibited outside the stadium . He is the very  same guy who almost had his innards exhibited outside  his body by irate Spuds fans , whom he was heckling with chicken sounds and  truly bad chicken  crossing  the road jokes . He took up art while lying in his hospital bed  and staring at the stains on the ceiling, as well as the  clouds outside his window and  was  so inspired  that  hasn’t looked back  since .
His first sale was a white canvas with three black spots, titled, ” Snoopy in winter ” , his second was the same ‘work’  but  titled , ‘ Polar bear at Gord’s window ‘.  This almost led to charges of fraud , when critics asked why there  were no other black marks to at least show the bear’s paw marks , as it stood up to support itself . They critics were soon pacified , when Gord himself came to the artist’s defence and explained that he often left white mittens outside for the bears to use when it got too cold . And also that he never  ever defrosted the window panes.
This work  is a bold and new inter reactive concept in blending together the latest innovations  in   divisive quantum magnetics; super – micro  – nano  robotics technology;  the compressive ionisation of very fine crystalline Krypton  isotopes, and the newest  developments in computer animatronics  (presently used in gaming, film and  Facebook photoshoping), along  with the  ingenious conceptual ideas  and inventions of Nikola Tesla , who during his time was considered a bona fide madcap scientist .  Check out his work here
What the Arsenal faithful will clearly see is the  hologramic moving image of the legend , while  the pure of heart you may even get to  press his flesh (Just don’t get  any stupid ideas to post on Youtube and such!)  Just imagine him appearing and disappearing before you like the aliens in the Predator movies.  You will be able to inter-react with him verbally and he will answer any questions that you may of him. Be it his recollection of certain games, of his opinions of players and  managers past. All this from a stored cache of his previous recordings of interviews , press conferences and postings .
Please don’t try to screw up his circuits by asking silly questions like , “Will AW spend some fucking money this transfer window?” or “Will Spurs or Liverpool win this year’s EPL  or ever win it at all?”  To those non-believers, they will not see nor ‘feel’ him. And those who appear to misbehave around him , Steven Miller has programmed some funny gags /antics to be done by said legend  that will be taped and replayed at  the halftime  break and the  culprits ‘ reaction will also be shown.
So all of you must be dying to know who the new legend  outside  the stadium is. Well for receiving this scoop first, I am bound by a confidential agreement, so I can only give you some clues. The first  clue is that he stands/guards/patrols the area behind Henry and Bergkamp, but ‘sits’ front of Adams . The second clue is that in that position he stands both figuratively and laterally like an invisible wall !  Do pay your respects IF you see him!
Stephen Miller will  also be in attendance to answer your questions about his creation as well as  trying to peddle his monotonic, uni-coloured  canvases broken only with a few token dots  as serious works of art .  He may try to con you by saying that he is practising the very minimalistic usage of the techniques  of chromoluminarism and pointillism , which  was the forte of George Seurat .
 And for God’s sake, never ever ‘get him ‘going’ by  saying ‘chicken’ or ‘Spud !’
NB -I have strived as far as possible  to be a factual, but sometimes those imps that have infested me, go all nuts on me and take over all my mental faculties.  As a precaution please don’t quote me (them !) to others, as it may sound foolish coming from you! My friends gave up on a long time ago, thank you very much !
The Brickfields Gunners .
More anniversaries
  • 3 January 1934: Despite feeling unwell Herbert Chapman went to watch Arsenal A team.   Mr Chapman was warned to take it easy, but he refused, and tragically died from pneumonia on January 6, aged 55.
  • 3 January 1951: Having rejected by Wolverhampton Dennis Evans was signed by Arsenal for £1500.   He subsequently played over 200 games for Arsenal – his only the club.

The insult of the day is  “You sir, are an ass-head and a coxcomb and a knave, a thin-faced knave, a gull”.   (Twelfth Night).

28 comments to Fans will love this newest addition to Arsenal

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Wow ! One dislike already ! Was it the spacing ? Or the very big scientific terms ? Or you just could ‘get’ it ?
    Thanks for your input !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    When said player was signed by the club , Arsene Wenger was allegedly overheard to have said , ” Today , an invisible wall has descended in front our defence .”
    As most of the press were not too bright at this this witty tilt at Winston Churchill ‘s Iron Curtain speech , the nuance of it was lost , till very much later that it was finally understood when repeated in the player’s native tongue of Portuguese.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Stephen is that you ?

  • Gord

    The two art pieces I knew as a youngster were, Polar bear in a snow storm, and black bear at night.

    Thinking about it now, maybe a person could have lemon in a canola field in bloom?

    My likes and dislikes went AWOL yesterday, and even restarting seamonkey hasn’t brought them back. I suspect I have to allow another source of javascript to get them working again.

  • Gord

    The BBC is running a goal of the month voting for MOTD2. If you are a paranoid dinosaur (like me), when you click the link you see a page which talks about a voting section, which isn’t present. And there is no information about the goals in question.

    It’s a problem of javascript. Allowing one of and doesn’t seem to do much. Allowing both of them (and as well still doesn’t bring up a voting section, but the page now has the hallmarks of content of a flash nature. And as flash is not safe to view (too easy for people to sneak nasty stuff onto your computer if you allow flash content to work), I quit at that point.

    But, it may be that there are one of more Arsenal goals among that top 10 (in the _minds_ of the MOTD crew). And perhaps you should vote.

    And hopefully your machine doesn’t pick up any nastyware in the process, and ruin the rest of your day.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Gord January 3, 2016 at 2:24 pm – Has the value of that painting soared ? Especially with global warming and the scarcity of polar bears in Canada ? The must all be making a bee line to your door ! I meant the collectors , not the polar bears!
    ‘Black bears at night’ ? Luck you for getting both ! Must keep in a bright place to get the full effect it , no doubt !

  • serge

    “Wow ! One dislike already ! Was it the spacing ? Or the very big scientific terms ? Or you just could ‘get’ it ?
    Thanks for your input !”

    Why make an issue out of your “dislike”? Don’t worry about it; I can assure you it’s earned on merit.
    I know mine always are, but I’m not going to get paranoid about it.
    And before the accusations start flying, I gave you a dislike for the article, another for your complaint about the dislike and a like for your 1.07pm

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Thanks for your intense honesty , serge , its so refreshing when one is so forthright , firm and full of it in his conviction of the importance of his hyper-inflated verbose and grandiose opinions, especially in the greater scheme of things that daily confronts and conflicts us all.

    Thank you for writing in .
    And in reciprocation , I too will click the Like button on your post as a token of appreciation and of ( almost ) contrite awe .
    Thanks for the laughs !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    I did click the like button , but I think the new truth detector app on here did not believe me . Not even for a moment !
    Fancy that !

  • nicky

    @Brickfields G,
    I must remember not to receive treatment at the same hospital as Stephen Miller. Stains ON THE CEILING indeed. 😉

  • Brickfields Gunners

    “Thou art a very ragged Wart.”
    ― William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part 2


    1. a small, often hard, abnormal elevation on the skin, usually caused by a papomavirus.
    ( sounds about right .)

    2. any small protuberance, as on the surface of certain plants, the skin of certain animals, etc.(On heads of morons ?)

    3. any unattractive detrimental feature or aspect:( no comment !)

    4. venereal wart.

  • ARSENAL 13

    polar bear outside Gords window!!…


  • colario

    Brickfields your headline brought a smile to my eyes.

    ‘Fans will love this newest addition to Arsenal’

    When I saw your name as the author I was a happy Colario, But not now.

    Your head line is misleading. I think it should be ‘some fans’.

    You see down in the text you inform us that:

    ”Let us say that this work can only be seen and appreciated by those of unshakable faith and pure of heart”.

    Brickfields, I don’t have a pure heart, which means I wont be able to see it.

  • Gord

    Seeing as you are trying to turn us into artists, I found a picture (front/back) of a 2011 Red/White Arsenal jersey, that still had some pieces of human skin showing. Editing that out proved tedious. I then got a picture of a Canadian flag, and rotated it 90 degrees and mirrored it. And the object was to place Red/White Arsenal jerseys on top of a background of Red/White Canadian flags. Not being a graphics expert, I grew frustrated with Gimp and stopped.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ nicky January 3, 2016 at 5:01 pm – Apparently he did not have medical insurance and was admitted to one of those NHS type hospitals , where care can be ‘iffy’ at the very best .
    Some of those stains were made by the bodily fluids of a poor , strange creature named , serge ( So poor that he couldn’t even afford a capital to his name!)who was totally and hideously covered in infected warts and boils.
    He also had bad carried teeth and so suffered from halitosis , so much so that the medical staff had to treat him from a pole’s length . It was reported that they lanced his boils with a real lance ! A rusty one at that !
    You must have heard the oft repeated story of how a young , new nurse misheard the doctor instructions and boiled his prick , instead of pricking his boil ! I believe that ceiling was taken away by the British Medical Association to fight the ensuring medico-legal court case .
    But the defendant didn’t make it as he suffered more indignity in the scraping of what was left of his body . The saying , “Warts and all ..” is thought to have originated from this episode.

    I will next endeavour to highlight what Stephen Miller saw from the window . Were they really clouds he saw or images of the Karma Sutra in the Perfumed Gardens . The notes are kept in a nuclear toxic bins underground along with the remains of serge ( he was really a Spud in disguise !) some where along the Seven Sisters road.
    Woe to anyone who digs there or try to slash burn that region !

  • serge

    Verbose? I only used 59 words.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ colario January 3, 2016 at 5:16 pm – Au contraire , Charles !

    1) ” Your head line is misleading. I think it should be ‘some fans'” – Its like saying some believers . You either believe of not !

    2)” Brickfields, I don’t have a pure heart, which means I wont be able to see it.” – Nonsense , such touching humility and especially that secret AKB ring will open many doors !

    I am sure that many who walked past the invisible wall , felt a gentle , reassuring and soothing feeling of well being and the promise of good tidings to come .

    Why I even heard that Tony was so up beat and feeling spry that he jived and limbo rock his way back home. By the way Tony , the car is in the Police pound !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Goodnight guys , its 2 AM here ! And the wife would like to know what I ‘m up to , giggling and all . See you all on the morrow .
    Stephen Miller should be making his entrance soon.Probably ran off with my cut , too !

  • bjtgooner

    Nice one Brickfields!

  • nicky

    My mention of stains ON THE CEILING has reminded me of the day my GP injected my verruca with a local anaesthetic before removing it.
    Boy, there sure was a mark on the Receiving Room ceiling THAT day! 😉

  • Menace

    Brickfields –
    In the words of Mother Goose – Little Jack Horner stuck in his thumb (dislike) & pulled out a plum (like) …………
    so that explains why you get dislike before like !!

  • Brickfields Gunners

    The pre -nuptial agreement –

    An elderly couple reaching their 70s are about to get married, but before they say their vows, the woman wanted to talk.

    She said: “I want to keep my house.”

    He said: “That’s fine with me.”

    She said: “I want to keep my Cadillac.”

    He said: “That’s fine with me.”

    She said: “And I want to have sex 6 times a week.”

    He said: “Put me down for Fridays.”

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Menace January 4, 2016 at 4:59 am – Isn’t he the same guy who dipped said finger into some broad’s curd and whey , and kissed all the girls and made them cry ?

    Anyway , here I was , thinking that most people just didn’t understand my foreign accent ! We in Malaysia mostly speak a form of pidgin English commonly known as Manglish ( and yes , it is as painful as it sounds !).

    But now , it has gotten more complicated as the youngsters communicate in the ‘advanced’ language of SMS or Texting , further befuddling us oldies .

    Not that I am really dying to gain knowledge from them ! Nor that I understood them any better before ! But it’s strange language . Just imagine Nicky speaking to you in Morse Code ! Or maybe even a Kalahari Bushman in his native tongue !

  • Menace

    We Gunners are blessed with a honorary Kalahari Bushman – Ian Wright! He spent time with them & even went native in the bush.

    Brickfields you’re mixing Jack with Georgie, & Muffet on a tuffet. Jack was the only thumbs lad.

    A parked bus in not needed when the conductor controls traffic with a whistle (toon v Arsenal).

  • Wale

    Brickfields you wicked mischief-maker. Your headline really had me going. “Leave it to Brickfields to go get us the goods on the-Neny’s many virtues”, thought I. Oh well. News of the commemoration of a Good Son is a good next best thing

  • Kenneth Widmerpool

    Are you sure that the stains are Stephen Millers? I reckon they were put there by some smelly Spud fan dreaming of Chas and bloody Dave!Either that or it has something to do with conceptual artist trying to join the sex firebrigade?Are you sure the bears had mitten due to the cold or some other reason?
    Damn good laugh though.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Kenneth Widmerpool -January 12, 2016 at 8:58 am – You have opened a can of worms, my friend . The art world is in a turmoil . So many questions , so many answers – how do we match them all ?

    The only way is to get our hands on the that ceiling (yeechh ! The thought repulses me !) and reexamine it . I’ve heard that it is the second most expensive ‘work’ after the Michealangelo’s Sistine Chapel , which by coincidence was done with the artist on his back !

  • Kenneth Widmerpool

    LOL! But wrong Mickey Angel Eyes did it standing up and got a bad neck,tis true! The big question to me is to me is the bed, was it Tracey Emins bed? Shurley hell on earth? Chicken in a basket spuds, Emins bed, Chas and Dave stains, its a missing chapter from Dantes inferno! Or a night out dahn the Seven Sisters road with that Anon bloke who used to come on here getting all upptey twattery about Spurs being Chickens. But were the stains Blatters splatter?