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October 2016
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EPL Predictions for ARSENAL 2016, in the year of the monkey

From The Brickfields Gunners Blog –   Fantasdy Football Series .

The Asian lunar year of 2016 began  on February 8 and will end on January 27, 2017. Known as The Year of the Fire Monkey, it is supposed to be filled with mischief, clashes and success in the workplace and at home.

“The monkey always finds its way out of tight situations,” international feng shui master Marites Allen said in an interview ….. Ms. Allen added there are two things we should learn from the monkey: Be alert “and dare to be different.”

Feng shui (pronounced fong schway), refers to the Chinese philosophy of attracting auspicious energy (good luck) and offsetting the negative energy through harmonious placement or design of buildings and objects.

2016 is year of the Red Monkey . The Chinese name of 2016 in the Chinese Horoscope calendar is Male Fire Monkey. Chinese apply Five Elements (Metal, Water, Wood, Fire and Earth) into the Chinese calendar. Male Fire is in the Fire group. The colour of Fire is connected to Red. Monkey is the calendar character corresponding to Monkey. Therefore, 2016 is the Red Fire Monkey year.

According to Chinese Five Elements Horoscopes, Monkey contains Metal and Water. Metal is connected to gold. Water is connected to wisdom and danger.

So what relevance does this have to Arsenal in particular and football in general? Plenty!!  Pay close attention.

The last time that Arsenal won a trophy of any importance (since the FA Cup has now been downgraded according to sources) was in 2004. And yes, as you may have correctly guessed, it WAS the Year of The Monkey! And after all the turmoil and troubles, the Monkey has come around again to usher in a new period of success and rejoicing for the club.

What you may not be aware of however, is that when the decision was made to leave Highbury and to  move on and to build a new stadium , a very comprehensive study and much research was made, not only in its feasibility as per logistics and financial implications, but more importantly, was the spiritual and holistic aspects.  Only when it was determined that there would be a balance in the force, was the final go ahead given.

You will have probably have seen the many Youtube videos on the planning, building and moving in to The Elms like this. But  very few were privy to the documents and the tapes that recorded  the various secret ceremonies and rites performed at both sites and along the long  path  inbetween .

Druids, belonging to the various sects of Celts, Anglo-Saxon and Norman persuasions, along with local Pagan leaders, Shamans , Chinese Feng Shui Masters, Indian Gurus and proponents of the ancient Indian art of Vastu shastra , were consulted  and their suggestions were adhered to in every plan and portion of the work. No stone was was figuratively and literally left unturned.

The end result was the building of the world’s first holistic stadium incorporating modern technology with the wisdom of the old orders that rigorously followed the precepts laid down in the buildings of  holy temples, churches and other places of worship.  It is for these reasons that many find solace and peace when visiting the Emirates as well  as rapture when watching the team play!

While other clubs in trying to build /upgrade their stadia, often were forceful in evicting surrounding  tenements by fraudulent  and fowl means that may also have given rise to suspicions of arson, Arsenal were on the other hand more humane and respectful in dealing with the local populace. For the most part the transition was peaceful , the locals placated other than some noisy neighbours protesting that the club go back over the Thames.  And having followed all the prescribed forms, waited patiently for years  the stars to realign favourably again, in this year of the Monkey, Arsenal FC will again  arise like the phoenix and rule the EPL !

Using the known respective  colours , symbols and emblems of each club, our experts have come to the conclusion that the cannon is king! Those clubs using figures of animals and birds (and fowls) don’t stand a chance against the might and firepower of the cannon . The  Red devils are considered  especially heinous  and this year they are being toyed with by the simians .  All the birds  (the  chickens, swans , magpies etc ) will go the way of the dodo , while the black cats are truly bad luck! The cherries were plucked off recently , and  now the foxes have been revealed to be what they are. If it were red foxes , we may have to be worried, but blue foxes?  They never stood a chance.  But it will also be a good year for those other metal users – the Hammers !

All of the Five Elements, metal, fire, earth, wood  and water are used in the cannon’s  formulation, its  component composition, in its ammunition and  the carriage. Add to that the auspicious use of red in our colours and it all bodes very  favourably  as does gold in the change strip. So all ye faithful, rejoice, sing your hearts out and lend your support behind the team as we usher in an new era and cycle of  reward and success.

As many may not believe in these predictions and the in the above mentioned arts , take a moment and remember the story of Cardiff City. They changed their strip to red and used the Welsh Dragon as their emblem and were promoted. They then changed back to their blue strip and the Bluebird and were promptly relegated . Of course boardroom and managerial shenanigans didn’t help their cause  !


Footnote from the publisher.  This is of course a highly accurate set of predictions for the year ahead, but I must pick the normally 100% accurate Brickfield Gunners up on one issue.  There were no Anglo-Saxon druids.  Sorry about that.  The Anglo-Saxons came into England from the 5th century were Frankish and Germanic and by and large as boring as rhubarb (commonly regarded as the most boring vegetable grown in England, although rather tasty with custard).   The druids were the educated artistic Celtic people who specialised in medicine and who came from Gaul, south west England, Wales and Ireland.  The druids preceded the Anglo-Saxons by 500 to 1000 years and were by and large much more fun.  Then we also had the Vikings whose symbol Blacksheep and I wear to Arsenal matches and is the root of most of our success on the pitch, but perhaps I shall leave that for another day.

PS: Not quite sure why some of the words are in yellow, but that’s how they emerged from the tumble drier that is email, so I have left them in.

PPS: Love the notion of calling the Emirates the Elms rather than the Ems.  Must use that in the future.

PPPS:  That’s enough PS’s.


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Recent Posts

And two anniversaries

15 February 2003: Manchester U 0 Arsenal 2 (FA Cup 5th round).  This was the game in which Ferguson, in a fit of rage, kicked a football boot in the changing room and it hit David Beckham.

15 February 2007: HRH Queen Elizabeth became the first monarch to entertain a football team at Buckingham Palace and Arsenal the team to visit.  On 26 October 2006 the Duke of Edinburgh had opened the Emirates Stadium but the Queen had been unable to attend – hence this visit.

32 comments to EPL Predictions for ARSENAL 2016, in the year of the monkey

  • Menace

    Rock on Brickfields you’ve certainly made a Monkey out of me.

    Come on you Gooner Monkeys. It is our year.

  • Gord

    I seen a few places on the Internet, where Druid sites were trying to explain Feng Shui. Sorry, I didn’t understand any of it.

    Midway through first half. U18 are down 0-1 to Coventry in FA Youth Cup 5th round.


  • Samuel Akinsolas Adebosin

    Well, I believe there are supernatural forces that control the happening of events in the Universe. One of these forces is Divine(Super Holy Deity). And the other one is devilish(The Satanic Altar of Sacrifice).

    The former is the Kingdom of Light. While the latter is the kingdom of darkness. It’s just like the day that illuminates the Light. While the night illustrates the darkness. Under the cover of darkness, evils are perpetrated. While under the Light, goodness is entrenched.

    No disrespect to Brickfields Gunners Blog. I am amassed as I skim through your article. However, I must confess to say, I am shocked to know that Arsenal went that length and breath to construct the Emirates Stadium. Was it necessary to do that? Or it was a choise of action by a group of believers believing such action will be necessary before the Emirates can be built?

    It is said that, at the altar of the devil, there is a sacrifice to be paid. Something is not given by the devil for free. Have Arsenal now paid the price with 9 years of not haven to win the Barclays Premier League and the Ucl after they’ve moved in to the Emirates since 2006? Have this sacrifice been finally paid with those major trophies winless 9 years or what next?

    The FA Cup is the number 2 trophy in the pecking order of the 3 main trophies in the England’s football league and Cup competitions of the English FA. We’ve won the FA Cup back to back as current reigning Champions since 2014-15. But why has the altar decided we won the FA Cup twice now, and have not won the Capital One Cup in between these past 9 years if this compulsory sacrifice on the altar of the devil is true? I think the whole thing is just a superstitious belief. Those who planned the building and execution of the Emirates Stadium must have gone superstitious harewire. No disrespect.

  • Gord

    Had you run across the South Dressing Room curse at Millenium Stadium Brickfields?

    It seems Arsenal and the spuds have been caught by it. I guess some Feng Shui fixed that curse?

    In the Youth FA Cup game, it is half time. Arsenal tied it up before half time.

    If you don’t like the twitter feed, it seems the Coventry Telegraph is doing a live commentary of the game as well.


  • nicky

    Re the anniversary in 2007, it’s HM the Queen, not HRH.
    Whoever is responsible has no chance of inclusion in the foreseeable Honours Lists. 😉

  • Mandy Dodd

    If this weekend was anything to go by, these ancient positive vibes have certainly got to the fans in the stadium, if not all those on the forums……who are desperately hoping for a year of the cockerel.

  • Al

    Interesting read Bricks. Dont think i could ever learn chinese, the symbols all look the same to me 🙂

    Perhaps this is our year after all; I saw a defiance in the players yesterday that gave me a kind of hope. Atkinson looked defeated yesterday. I know its still a mountain to climb. But, as we know, if the refs did their job this wouldn’t be a mountain at all.

  • Gord

    In the Youth FA Cup game, it is now extra time. Arsenal tied it up before half time, and it is still 1-1/


  • Gord

    Arsenal scored in extra time, and then in time added on in extra time, Coventry tied it up. It looks like penalties.


  • Andy Mack

    “Druids, Pagan leaders, Shamans , Chinese Feng Shui Masters, Indian Gurus and proponents of the ancient Indian art of Vastu Shastra”

    It looks like our club has certain religious preferences that I’m very embarrassed about…. Why didn’t they consult any Native Australian, Maori or South American religious men? Don’t be surprised if Alexis sees this as a slight on his continent and leaves asap!

  • Gord

    Keto makes a save in the first of the 5 penalties, and an Arsenal player misses the target on the next shot.

    All tied up at the end of the 5 pairs of penalties.


  • bjtgooner

    Excellent read Brickfields.

    Lets hope the good omens surrounding the year of the monkey can overcome the combined forces of corruption lined up against us.

    I was born in the year of the tiger – maybe thats why every now and again I like to sink the fangs into the aaaa!

  • Gord

    Reine-Adelaide hits the post and it bounces out. On the next shot, Keto saves again to keep them in it.

    Keto saves again! Three saves in penalties! Arsenal are through!


  • Gord

    Attendance was 1828 apparently. Thanks to everyone who attended (not me, I am watching the twit thing).

  • Va Cong

    Being Chinese being born as a Monkey this is the year we win the premier league then we can say haven’t won the league for…

  • Andy Mack

    Va Cong, The aaa will suddenly decide the Tin Pot Cup is a trophy and start complaining that we haven’t won it for a few years…. or maybe the CL like $iteh and their billion dollar team.

  • Gord

    The Daily Mail had a longish writeup on the Youth FA Cup game. I am kind of hoping that perhaps Petr Cech could have been there to watch Keto in net.

    Bielik was the captain for this game.

    Rene-Adelaide seems to have gotten good mention.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Tony – thanks for pointing out the mistakes and updating the article . It had been germinating in my head for some time , but I started writing it only on Friday evening , and had leave town over the weekend and had to use an in-law’s computer and only finished it on Saturday .

    I knew that I was putting my head on the chopping block by predicting it before all the games and when viewing the BBC’s live text of our game , went ” Oh , oh !” , and was literally ‘shitting bricks’ till Danny boy save me the blushes , and more importantly , gave us the 3 points !

    I had wanted to a club by club BS prediction , but cut it short by grouping then into animate and inanimate objects. And I ‘m sure that you and the rest know that this is only a nonsensical and satirical poke at predictions in general . But I think in SAA , I’ve caught a right whooper !

    Sorry for all the errors and the yellow print – I think it was probably the spell check on the e-mail that I sent you . though I’d felt it a better omen if it was either in Red or in Gold !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Andy Mack – February 15, 2016 at 9:49 pm – ” Why didn’t they consult any Native Australian, Maori or South American religious men?” . I’m sure if and when they migrate to the UK in great numbers , they too will be consulted !
    I REALLY wouldn’t mind seeing our squad go a fierce Hakka before home games ! That ought to frighten the shit out of the opponents and the PIGMOB !

    Soon no project there will start without consulting and getting the blessings of Montezuma , as is the common practice in USA !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    I had also wanted to give honourable mention to an not so well known sect called the Gesundheiters , who were consulted initially but never made it to the ground breaking ceremony .
    It was suspected that persons from a rival sect sabotaged them by dumping a cartload of pepper in their encampment and they all died of exhaustion from the sneezing and the repeated , “Bless yous !” and all that snot that ensured !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ – Gord February 15, 2016 at 8:12 pm – I have heard of that curse before , but maybe them experts may have got it all wrong and sent the bad luck to the ‘home’ team’s dressing room ? Well seeing that they aren’t doing well and all ?

  • colario

    Brickfields Gunners
    February 16, 2016 at 4:58 am

    Any excuse Brickfields, any excuse! Of course the mistakes were the fault of the mother in law. Of course they were down to her. No prediction needed on this point! 🙂

  • colario

    An English visits another country. he asks a local, what does the word ‘immediate’ mean in your country?’

    The local replies:

    ‘Wait five to ten minutes.’

    The Englishman asks:

    ‘ What does the word ‘urgent’ mean?’

    Easy says the local it means ‘Wait four to six minutes’.

    What does the word ‘now’ mean? says the Englishman.

    The local scratches his head for a few minutes and then makes three phone calls. His calls finished he says.

    I phoned the Prime Minister and he said that he didn’t know and said to phone the President.

    I phoned the President, the President said that he didn’t know and suggested I phone the mother in law.

    I thought that was a good idea, so I called her.

    She said that she didn’t know.

    Now if my mother in law doesn’t know then you can be certain no one knows for she knows everything.

  • va Cong

    Treble Andy Mack? Lol

  • va Cong

    Oh wait we haven’t won the quardruple…

  • Brickfields Gunners

    And along the same lines….

    Your Birth Month Reveals A Lot About Your Personality. What Does Yours Say About You?

    I think that mine is quite spot on …

    January babies are stubborn, ambitious and productive. They can be rather reserved and quiet, yet know how to make others happy, perhaps due to their intelligence. They are both teacher and student, as they love to teach and be taught.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    And more horoscopes ….

  • Rantetta

    Sorry bg, accidental push of dislike button whilst trying to copy the horoscopes link. I’ve never pushed a dislike button before. There’s enough negative stuff allowed on the site already.

    I’ve hit the Like button to try n counterbalance.

    I’m born monkey.

  • Andy Mack

    Va Cong, Lets face facts, we can’t be considered a big club until we’ve gone a whole season winning every game (all competitions) by a clear 2 goal margin…..

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Rantetta February 16, 2016 at 9:06 am – No problem . I’m having problems with the LIKE buttons and was not also able to answer your post from the home computer .
    Am quite surprised that I did not get more DISLIKES from the ‘other’ regulars !
    Either they did not ‘get it ‘ , or they are still smarting from Arsenal’s last gasp winner !

    @ Tai February 16, 2016 at 6:33 pm – I’ll take that as a WTF LIKE ?