From The Brickfields Gunners Blog – Fantasdy Football Series .
The Asian lunar year of 2016 began on February 8 and will end on January 27, 2017. Known as The Year of the Fire Monkey, it is supposed to be filled with mischief, clashes and success in the workplace and at home.
“The monkey always finds its way out of tight situations,” international feng shui master Marites Allen said in an interview ….. Ms. Allen added there are two things we should learn from the monkey: Be alert “and dare to be different.”
Feng shui (pronounced fong schway), refers to the Chinese philosophy of attracting auspicious energy (good luck) and offsetting the negative energy through harmonious placement or design of buildings and objects.
2016 is year of the Red Monkey . The Chinese name of 2016 in the Chinese Horoscope calendar is . Chinese apply Five Elements (Metal, Water, Wood, Fire and Earth) into the Chinese calendar. is in the Fire group. The colour of Fire is connected to Red. is the calendar character corresponding to Monkey. Therefore, 2016 is the Red Fire Monkey year.
According to Chinese Five Elements Horoscopes, Monkey contains Metal and Water. Metal is connected to gold. Water is connected to wisdom and danger.
So what relevance does this have to Arsenal in particular and football in general? Plenty!! Pay close attention.
The last time that Arsenal won a trophy of any importance (since the FA Cup has now been downgraded according to sources) was in 2004. And yes, as you may have correctly guessed, it WAS the Year of The Monkey! And after all the turmoil and troubles, the Monkey has come around again to usher in a new period of success and rejoicing for the club.
What you may not be aware of however, is that when the decision was made to leave Highbury and to move on and to build a new stadium , a very comprehensive study and much research was made, not only in its feasibility as per logistics and financial implications, but more importantly, was the spiritual and holistic aspects. Only when it was determined that there would be a balance in the force, was the final go ahead given.
You will have probably have seen the many Youtube videos on the planning, building and moving in to The Elms like this. But very few were privy to the documents and the tapes that recorded the various secret ceremonies and rites performed at both sites and along the long path inbetween .
Druids, belonging to the various sects of Celts, Anglo-Saxon and Norman persuasions, along with local Pagan leaders, Shamans , Chinese Feng Shui Masters, Indian Gurus and proponents of the ancient Indian art of Vastu shastra , were consulted and their suggestions were adhered to in every plan and portion of the work. No stone was was figuratively and literally left unturned.
The end result was the building of the world’s first holistic stadium incorporating modern technology with the wisdom of the old orders that rigorously followed the precepts laid down in the buildings of holy temples, churches and other places of worship. It is for these reasons that many find solace and peace when visiting the Emirates as well as rapture when watching the team play!
While other clubs in trying to build /upgrade their stadia, often were forceful in evicting surrounding tenements by fraudulent and fowl means that may also have given rise to suspicions of arson, Arsenal were on the other hand more humane and respectful in dealing with the local populace. For the most part the transition was peaceful , the locals placated other than some noisy neighbours protesting that the club go back over the Thames. And having followed all the prescribed forms, waited patiently for years the stars to realign favourably again, in this year of the Monkey, Arsenal FC will again arise like the phoenix and rule the EPL !
Using the known respective colours , symbols and emblems of each club, our experts have come to the conclusion that the cannon is king! Those clubs using figures of animals and birds (and fowls) don’t stand a chance against the might and firepower of the cannon . The Red devils are considered especially heinous and this year they are being toyed with by the simians . All the birds (the chickens, swans , magpies etc ) will go the way of the dodo , while the black cats are truly bad luck! The cherries were plucked off recently , and now the foxes have been revealed to be what they are. If it were red foxes , we may have to be worried, but blue foxes? They never stood a chance. But it will also be a good year for those other metal users – the Hammers !
All of the Five Elements, metal, fire, earth, wood and water are used in the cannon’s formulation, its component composition, in its ammunition and the carriage. Add to that the auspicious use of red in our colours and it all bodes very favourably as does gold in the change strip. So all ye faithful, rejoice, sing your hearts out and lend your support behind the team as we usher in an new era and cycle of reward and success.
As many may not believe in these predictions and the in the above mentioned arts , take a moment and remember the story of Cardiff City. They changed their strip to red and used the Welsh Dragon as their emblem and were promoted. They then changed back to their blue strip and the Bluebird and were promptly relegated . Of course boardroom and managerial shenanigans didn’t help their cause !
UP THE GUNNERS!
Footnote from the publisher. This is of course a highly accurate set of predictions for the year ahead, but I must pick the normally 100% accurate Brickfield Gunners up on one issue. There were no Anglo-Saxon druids. Sorry about that. The Anglo-Saxons came into England from the 5th century were Frankish and Germanic and by and large as boring as rhubarb (commonly regarded as the most boring vegetable grown in England, although rather tasty with custard). The druids were the educated artistic Celtic people who specialised in medicine and who came from Gaul, south west England, Wales and Ireland. The druids preceded the Anglo-Saxons by 500 to 1000 years and were by and large much more fun. Then we also had the Vikings whose symbol Blacksheep and I wear to Arsenal matches and is the root of most of our success on the pitch, but perhaps I shall leave that for another day.
PS: Not quite sure why some of the words are in yellow, but that’s how they emerged from the tumble drier that is email, so I have left them in.
PPS: Love the notion of calling the Emirates the Elms rather than the Ems. Must use that in the future.
PPPS: That’s enough PS’s.
Please do go onto Untold Arsenal on Facebook and like us – then if there are any more times when we get caught on by naughty people, you’ll still be able to follow us.
- The media, the dinosaurs and the English antidote to skilful football. (Contains adult content that may be distressing to lovers of football)
- Untold returns – here’s what you missed while we were under attack.
And two anniversaries
15 February 2003: Manchester U 0 Arsenal 2 (FA Cup 5th round). This was the game in which Ferguson, in a fit of rage, kicked a football boot in the changing room and it hit David Beckham.
15 February 2007: HRH Queen Elizabeth became the first monarch to entertain a football team at Buckingham Palace and Arsenal the team to visit. On 26 October 2006 the Duke of Edinburgh had opened the Emirates Stadium but the Queen had been unable to attend – hence this visit.