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October 2016
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The Brickfields Gunners

Having been a regular reader , poster and now a regular contributor on Untold Arsenal , I have observed some very disturbing behaviour  exhibited by ‘them’ on this site . As a medical doctor of more than 30 years of practice ( and getting very close to being perfect!), I have come to the conclusion that they really are sick . I’m sure that many of the regulars here have come to the same conclusion without  having the need time studying medicine !

So join me as I  point out and try to enlighten you in the symptoms and signs that I have shrewdly observed. Maybe we could help ‘them’ , or maybe we  could just laugh at their maladies together . Doesn’t matter  a nought to me !

Group 1: Symptoms and signs of inadequacy , inferiority  , negativity and failure to launch .

  1. Acrophobia – The fear of heights . Five percent of the general population suffer from this phobia .
  2.  Achievemenephobia – The fear of success . The opposite to the fear of failure.
  3. Catoptrophobia     – The fear of mirrors . Bering afraid of what you might see .
  4. Disposophobia  –  The fear of getting rid of stuff . Triggers extreme hoarding

Heights here being taken to mean also achievement , development , progress and success. The mirror is the true reflection of self , and thus the bearing  of the soul  and to open one to  facts . Hoarding here refers to both emotional and unwanted or excessive baggage .

This irrational fear also encompasses reaching peaks in achievement either by persons , groups or organizations or even football clubs. Being always told by others that they are not worthy or eligible;  nor  should  they even  entertain hope of; or aspire to; or that they cannot attain success due to their supposed inferiority and unworthiness, have mostly reduced these people into mental wrecks  and soulless and empty shells of humanity.

Among the poor characteristics   and  negative tendencies  often exhibited are denial, petulance , whining , snivelling , rudeness , vulgarity, poor language , threats of violence and reprisals and a total disregard for facts and truths . And not being able to be separated from long held possessions and feelings – however outdated or irrelevant they may be.

Breaking away from such negativity is the first logical step forward.  Avoidance  and separation  from all sources of such influences of negativity  and  depravity . From thence on to  re-education , truth, confidence, positivity , mental and spiritual well being , euphoria and the success that awaits the healed.

Remember, trophies are just bonuses! The are just inconsequential little trinkets that line the path to the greater  aim of success , glory , achievement  and fulfillment. In some rare cases the unprecedented heights achieved may even cause nose bleeds!

Group 2 Symptoms and signs of  despondency , issues of  love , belief , trust and  loyalty –

  1.   Trypophobia – The fear of holes is an unusual but pretty common phobia.
  2.    Phobophobia – The fear of fear. The thought of being afraid of objects/situations.
  3.   Aphenphosmphobia – The fear of intimacy . The fear of being touched and love.
  4.    Arachnophobia – The fear of spiders affects women four times more than men.

Again , holes are also taken to mean pitfalls , deceptions and traps (imagined or otherwise.). Similarly the fear of spiders stems from feelings of being either trapped in a web of deceit, or being the sacrificial victim , as well as the inability to untangle the sticky web strings of the heart and mind ,

Having been the recipients of some form of abuse, trickery, deception,  fraud or  lies , many are more than weary with persons who seem to be  ebullient , positive and confident . That they see these people (erroneously , of course) , as akin to those confidence tricksters and  fraudsters who  may have wronged them.

Again , gaining their confidence by truth , exemplary  and positive conduct in every  thought , word and action , especially by the AKBs on here , should correct  all their misunderstandings  and misgivings.

We truly are what we say we are . We Untolders are not paid or hired to tread or tow any party line. Party here to mean  shareholders , the board , the club and/or the management .Even betting companies or super agents .

We do  and truly believe in Arsenal FC , and all that it represents.

Group 3 Symptoms  and signs relating to   issues of abandonment , of contempt , and of gloomy  future prospects .

  1. Monophobia – The fear of being alone . Even while eating and sleeping .
  2. Nyctophobia – The fear of darkness . Being afraid of the dark or the night is common for kids.
  3. Coulrophobia – The fear of clowns . Some people find clowns funny , coulrophobics certainly don’t.
  4. Xenophobia   – The fear of the unknown . Fearing anything or anyone that is strange or foreign.

This encompasses the fear of being left out or being singled out as the odd one out . While being seen as being different and unique is tempting in itself  and well embraced by  some , yet for others of a lower IQ , its like a prison sentence . The darkness , outsiders and the unknown or the unfamiliar seems to trigger emotions of irrationality

This encompasses the fear being left out or being the odd one out . The sense of belonging is an ingrained and inborn human trait . Finding strength  and comfort in numbers is a very basic and normal want .

It becomes truly abnormal when we go against our own natural instinct and follow the herd going the wrong way. Especially as the leaders brains may be soft, mushy  , pulpy and confused as seen in  Mad Cow Disease or in Swine Fever .

Among  ‘them’ it has often been reported as the Piers-Morgan Disease . Symptoms include  , downright  stupidity  , delusions of grandeur and entitlement , wishy-washiness , utter confounded confusion ,and not being able to remembering names of your top players . Instead , calling him ‘what’shisname’ ! Do you want this guy to be your spokesman ? Really ?

Not  forgetting that he fucked up the  very popular and long running Larry King Show .

In America , the disease may get a new name after the Presidential elections later this year . What is the disease called in your country ? It is most probably be named after a politician , a buffon , a prat , a prick or a clown . Then  again , I repeat myself !

In Britain the BMA wanted  a variant of it  to be  also called Boris Johnson Disease , but changed their minds with his exit !

Please note that Mime-phobia – while not considered a  real disease , but is a mild but creepy and repetitive irritation – very much like listening to ‘them’ prattle on and on about ‘their Arsenal ‘ , the sale of  great players past and who AW should buy . It’s now widely recognised as the  Broken Record Disease. The treatment of choice is to force  ‘them’  to repeatedly listen to the loud sounds of fingernails  scratching a blackboard . Have a  listen  here…  or giving  ‘them ‘ a dose of the same .

As I continue to  study  and observe ‘them’  on here , I will  give  further and  detailed  reports of my findings , as well as all the new  and made up diseases as they come up in my head. . Remember , ‘An ideal mind is a devilish doctor’s  workshop’.

And thanks for all the apples you have been sending me . Is there a sublime message here that I’m not getting ?

The Brickfields  Gunners

c/o  Medical Division of Untold Arsenal .

Recent Posts

In case you are interested

We’ve just published an analysis of the tactics Herbert Chapman used both at Huddersfield and at Arsenal to win the league – and started to consider why it took six years for him to replicate that Huddersfield approach at Arsenal.  Others may have trodden this path before, but I have not seen the analysis done in this way previously.

Chapman’s ultimate secret tactic revealed plus the players and statistics.


  • Usama Zaka

    Haha, good work. Here is some more phobias that I think are part of ‘them’


  • Kenneth Widmerpool

    Nice work Brickfields!A lot of “them” seem to have Wengerphobia!Look foward to Pt 2 and hopefully more.

  • Nickw

    A lot of fans do seem to suffer from paranoid delusions I’ll give you that, not to mention delusions of grandeur.

  • colario

    My ambition in life was to play football for Arsenal but I was only ever good enough for spuds so I gave up the ambition to be a footballer.

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    How about Signingphobia? Ever since this season campaign got underway last weekend, Arsenal fans have wanted the Boss to sign a top quality CHB, a top grade central attacking midfielder (CAM) and a marquee striker to strengthen his squad ahead of this new season campaign. And the Boss has been able to sign only one out the trio so far.

    Amidst the cries by Arsenal supporters for the urgent signing of a top grade centre- back, a thought of signingphobia has arose in my head this evening as I consider who will be the likely CHB at the market the Boss will sign for Arsenal to strengthen the heart of the Arsenal centre half back-line and start him as soon as the Southampton visit to the Emirates Stadium.

    Two options sprout out of my thought as I think deeper than before. The media has highly linked Arsenal with the signing of Shkodran Mustafi. But out of no where, a 21 year old Uruguayan international centre- back Jose Gimenez at Atletico de Madrid has been flashed and thrown into the mist of things by the media. And on my googling him, I discovered he has a higher profile that ticked all the Boss’ 4 boxes than Mustafi possessed and ticked them. Therefore, if Arsenal will eat a frog with eggs inside it, it’ll be better they eat the one with the better eggs.

    In conclusion, I think Gimenez is more a top quality CB than Mustafi is. I think the Boss should try every available means within his reach to get Gimenez for Arsenal. And I don’t think if the Boss signed him, he’ll hinder the rapid development of Holding at CB for Arsenal. Rather, it should enhanced it.

  • Norman14

    I think most have Erythrophobia – the fear of the color red.

  • Nightly Bye let’s hope we don’t have the fear of blue . Here’s to the first 3 points of the season 3-0 to the Goon

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Thanks , guys , do hope you have enjoyed ‘them’ maladies ! All the phobias are legit and was obtained from this site – ; most of the diseases were obviously a figment of my imagination .

    In the deep recesses of my psyche there are a number of very naughty imps causing havoc – not that I’m complaining , see . They keep me quite well entertained with all their antics ,quips and utterances.

    I have to credit Norman 14 for planting the seed that germinated into this article with his reference on a previous post to Athazagoraphobia – The fear of being forgotten or not remembering things. Thanks , mate .

    As for me , I can clearly state that I do not suffer from BSphobia , nor do I fear it. I/m rather good at spreading it as well as flinging it !

    And I have also no qualms about Allodoxaphobia – The fear of opinions. Being afraid of hearing what others are thinking of you.

    @ Kenneth Widmerpool – August 19, 2016 at 6:31 pm – I think that you should nave a word with OMG , as I think that you may be too fixated with chickens, especially those from North London . It it the weird sounds of their Cockney cluckings that sets you off ; or ….gasp !…. Alektorophobia – The fear of chickens. You may have this phobia if chickens make you panic.

    @ colario – August 19, 2016 at 6:58 pm -Nice one Charles ! I cannot think of a bigger curse than either playing or supporting that lot !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    And in very disturbing news , apparently the meek will not inherit the earth.

    Survival of the thickest’ now a reality, say scientists

    CHANGES in human evolution mean that only idiots will continue to thrive, it has been claimed.

    Citing evidence from Twitter, Facebook and ITV1 dating show Take Me Out, researchers at the Institute for Studies confirmed that natural selection has tipped in favour of the very thick.

    Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Not only is intelligence unnecessary, it’s actually a hindrance. In an evolutionary sense, the brain is now less useful than visible muscles like ‘pecs’, which can get you sex and money.

    “Social networking sites may have accelerated the rise of the very thick, or may simply be a conduit for pre-existing stupidity.

    “It’s very much a chicken and egg scenario, if the chicken is ‘social networking’ and the egg is ‘being a fucking idiot’.”

    Professor Brubaker added: “As we evolve into flabby, immobile technology operators, lack of activity will cause global food shortages.

    “Whatever semblance of government remains will deem those capable of ‘entertaining’ or incendiary Tweets – for example accusing a randomly-selected person of fucking a horse – to be the most valuable, and give them bags of Wotsits proportionate to the size of their following.

    “Non attention-seekers will simply starve to death.”

    Goodbye cruel world !

  • colario

    With reference to the horse.

    To the land where the horse was the wise animal and the human the stupid was the last of Gulliver’s travels.

    Gulliver reported that all the stupid human animal could say was ‘yahoo’!

    With reference to my previous comment is there phobia word for ‘fear of being associated with THFC – The Horrible Football Club. (Spuds for short)?

  • colario

    In answer to my question for the fear word. Would it be the word for the fear of aliens?

  • Kenneth Widmerpool

    Bricks, yes theres no denying it, I have Chick-o-phobia, it comes from childhood recollections of beatings, shaming and domination by the Feather Gang.However thats all been changed!Oh blesséd are ye St.Totteringham!

  • Brickfields Gunners


    In a new but yet to be published study , The Medical Division of Untold Arsenal under the guidance of the eminent entity known as The Brickfields Gunners , have announced evidence of a very high and alarming rate of cases of Arsenalphobia in certain sections of North London .

    While bad blood and hatred towards the Arsenal has been rife since a certain promotional incident in 1919 , and some disputed migration/ encroachment issues before that , yet is was a shocking revelation to the researchers in finding that it was FEAR and not loathing that was the utmost and predominant issue with those afflicted .

    In her very fine article , What Is a Phobia? Types, Symptoms and Treatments by Kendra Cherry
    on May 09, 2016 , at ; observes that
    ” In most cases, the phobia involves a sense of endangerment or a fear of harm. ” She observes that , among the ‘ Typical symptoms associated with phobias include:

    – Dizziness, trembling and increased heart rate
    – Breathlessness
    – Nausea
    – A sense of unreality
    – Preoccupation with the fear object .
    In some cases, these symptoms can escalate into a full-scale anxiety attack. ‘

    While the good doctor had presented her opinion on the 9th of May , it was noted by the researchers to be factual as in their case study of the Spuds hardly a week later , when on the 15th of May , all the above mentioned symptoms were exhibited by them at St. James Park , Newcastle on the last day of the season.

    In only needing to get a draw to cement second place , they seem too preoccupied and fixated with events at The Ems and with the Arsenal , and were thus rendered numb , rolled over and beaten senseless by the already relegated Magpies. Many were muted as news of Arsenal’s score started to come in . Our researchers have recorded ( delusinoary ? )testimony that many had claim to have heard the cheering all the way up in Geordieland ,

    News of the Spuds sputtering , galvanised the faithful Arsenal crowd who roared on their heroes to a fine victory over the Villa . Except for the fools who made and held up those crappy and stupid ‘ Arsene Out ‘ banners . For some reason , they left early ! The AKBs there too , were doubly blessed by the vision of St. Totteringham who appeared before them .

    As for the treatment , Dr.Kendra Cherry , suggest the following –

    – ‘In exposure treatments, the patient is exposed to the fear object in order to help them overcome their fear.One type of exposure treatment is flooding, in which the patient is confronted by the fear object for an extended length of time without the opportunity to escape.’

    ( Welcome patients to the UA Clinic for the Imbalanced – where the treatment is more painful than the disease !)

    – ‘Another method often used in phobia treatment is counter-conditioning. In this method, the patient is taught a new response to the fear object.’

    ( Unfortunately , we here at UA couldn’t be assed to offer you this treatment ! Goodbye !)

    Next we will happily endeavour to rid ‘them’ from UA without the benefit of treatment . Tony has already got the ball rolling with this one !

    WOO HOO , HOO !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ colario – August 20, 2016 at 7:23 am – Charles , you do appear to be unravelling , old boy . What is it with the horses and aliens . Could it just be a bad experience you may have had with a mutant centaur ?
    Did you look it in the mouth ? Or…maybe … nah ,… forget that I even asked, I don’t really want to know !

  • Polo

    @ BG, you never disappoint with your humor, keep it up. Good doctor, is there any treatment for WOBophobia?

  • colario

    May be what I suffer from is called THFC Syndrome? )

  • goonersince72

    Always worth the read, and the laughs. Keep them coming.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ colario -August 20, 2016 at 12:03 pm – I think that it be also soon be called The colario Disease in memory of the first re[ported and worse case in history . Congrats !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Polo -August 20, 2016 at 11:42 am – WOBophobia is an irrational fear as Wenger is not ever going to happen . A long , deep breath will suffice.

  • colario

    How is it that in life the Doc always has the last word? 🙂 🙂 🙂

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ colario – August 20, 2016 at 3:35 pm – Sometimes we get do the last word in death too !

    a. Oopss !
    b. Sorry , I did not know that my foot was on the oxygen hose !
    c. After the surgery , ? Where the hell is this leftover piece /part from ?”
    d. Nurse , I said prick the boil , not boil the ….damn !
    e. What do you mean a dog ran away with that bone piece ?

  • Alex

    In no time at Untold has been created unprecedented numbers of doctors.Just add the word Phobia and there you are.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Apparently the smart ones may not all be going to heaven either ! And God is going to have his hands with this lot !

    Never underestimate an Idiot!

    Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

    Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. “Gentlemen,” the Devil started, “Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.

    If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don’t know or cannot answer, then you’re worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you’ll come with me to Hell.”

    The philosopher then stepped up, “OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates’ Socrates’ teachings.” With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.

    The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!” With another snap of his finger, the philsopher disappeared.

    The mathematician then asked,”Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!” With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.

    The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!” With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.

    The idiot then stepped forward and said, “Bring me a chair!” The Devil brought forward a chair. “Drill 7 holes on the seat.” The Devil did just that.

    The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, “Which hole did my fart come out from?”

    The Devil inspected the seat and said,”The third hole from the right.” “Wrong,” said the idiot, “it’s from my asshole.” And the idiot went to heaven.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Check out very nice article on

    followed by awesome commenst by TERRY MANCINI HAIR TRANSPLANT says: August 18, 2016 at 3:40 pm

    Have a great laugh !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    CHEERS ! Let Us Toast to Red Wine and it’s Unbelievable Health Benefits


    A new study shows that drinking wine before bed could help you lose weight.-
    ‘…wine and weight loss go hand in hand – thanks to a substance called resveratrol (a wonder ingredient that contributes to the many benefits of wine). ‘

    Here are eight scientifically-proven reasons to enjoy a glass of red:-
    1. Live longer:
    2. Get smarter:
    3. Say goodbye to the blues:
    4. Promote healthy eyes:
    5. Protects your teeth:
    6. Reduces the risk of certain types of cancer:
    7. Reduces your risk of diabetes :
    8. Fend off a cold: