ABNORMAL BEHAVIOUR , PHOBIAS , DISEASES AND AILMENTS OBSERVED ON UNTOLD ARSENAL – PART ONE .
The Brickfields Gunners
Having been a regular reader , poster and now a regular contributor on Untold Arsenal , I have observed some very disturbing behaviour exhibited by ‘them’ on this site . As a medical doctor of more than 30 years of practice ( and getting very close to being perfect!), I have come to the conclusion that they really are sick . I’m sure that many of the regulars here have come to the same conclusion without having the need time studying medicine !
So join me as I point out and try to enlighten you in the symptoms and signs that I have shrewdly observed. Maybe we could help ‘them’ , or maybe we could just laugh at their maladies together . Doesn’t matter a nought to me !
Group 1: Symptoms and signs of inadequacy , inferiority , negativity and failure to launch .
- Acrophobia – The fear of heights . Five percent of the general population suffer from this phobia .
- Achievemenephobia – The fear of success . The opposite to the fear of failure.
- Catoptrophobia – The fear of mirrors . Bering afraid of what you might see .
- Disposophobia – The fear of getting rid of stuff . Triggers extreme hoarding
Heights here being taken to mean also achievement , development , progress and success. The mirror is the true reflection of self , and thus the bearing of the soul and to open one to facts . Hoarding here refers to both emotional and unwanted or excessive baggage .
This irrational fear also encompasses reaching peaks in achievement either by persons , groups or organizations or even football clubs. Being always told by others that they are not worthy or eligible; nor should they even entertain hope of; or aspire to; or that they cannot attain success due to their supposed inferiority and unworthiness, have mostly reduced these people into mental wrecks and soulless and empty shells of humanity.
Among the poor characteristics and negative tendencies often exhibited are denial, petulance , whining , snivelling , rudeness , vulgarity, poor language , threats of violence and reprisals and a total disregard for facts and truths . And not being able to be separated from long held possessions and feelings – however outdated or irrelevant they may be.
Breaking away from such negativity is the first logical step forward. Avoidance and separation from all sources of such influences of negativity and depravity . From thence on to re-education , truth, confidence, positivity , mental and spiritual well being , euphoria and the success that awaits the healed.
Remember, trophies are just bonuses! The are just inconsequential little trinkets that line the path to the greater aim of success , glory , achievement and fulfillment. In some rare cases the unprecedented heights achieved may even cause nose bleeds!
Group 2 Symptoms and signs of despondency , issues of love , belief , trust and loyalty –
- Trypophobia – The fear of holes is an unusual but pretty common phobia.
- Phobophobia – The fear of fear. The thought of being afraid of objects/situations.
- Aphenphosmphobia – The fear of intimacy . The fear of being touched and love.
- Arachnophobia – The fear of spiders affects women four times more than men.
Again , holes are also taken to mean pitfalls , deceptions and traps (imagined or otherwise.). Similarly the fear of spiders stems from feelings of being either trapped in a web of deceit, or being the sacrificial victim , as well as the inability to untangle the sticky web strings of the heart and mind ,
Having been the recipients of some form of abuse, trickery, deception, fraud or lies , many are more than weary with persons who seem to be ebullient , positive and confident . That they see these people (erroneously , of course) , as akin to those confidence tricksters and fraudsters who may have wronged them.
Again , gaining their confidence by truth , exemplary and positive conduct in every thought , word and action , especially by the AKBs on here , should correct all their misunderstandings and misgivings.
We truly are what we say we are . We Untolders are not paid or hired to tread or tow any party line. Party here to mean shareholders , the board , the club and/or the management .Even betting companies or super agents .
We do and truly believe in Arsenal FC , and all that it represents.
Group 3 Symptoms and signs relating to issues of abandonment , of contempt , and of gloomy future prospects .
- Monophobia – The fear of being alone . Even while eating and sleeping .
- Nyctophobia – The fear of darkness . Being afraid of the dark or the night is common for kids.
- Coulrophobia – The fear of clowns . Some people find clowns funny , coulrophobics certainly don’t.
- Xenophobia – The fear of the unknown . Fearing anything or anyone that is strange or foreign.
This encompasses the fear of being left out or being singled out as the odd one out . While being seen as being different and unique is tempting in itself and well embraced by some , yet for others of a lower IQ , its like a prison sentence . The darkness , outsiders and the unknown or the unfamiliar seems to trigger emotions of irrationality
This encompasses the fear being left out or being the odd one out . The sense of belonging is an ingrained and inborn human trait . Finding strength and comfort in numbers is a very basic and normal want .
It becomes truly abnormal when we go against our own natural instinct and follow the herd going the wrong way. Especially as the leaders brains may be soft, mushy , pulpy and confused as seen in Mad Cow Disease or in Swine Fever .
Among ‘them’ it has often been reported as the Piers-Morgan Disease . Symptoms include , downright stupidity , delusions of grandeur and entitlement , wishy-washiness , utter confounded confusion ,and not being able to remembering names of your top players . Instead , calling him ‘what’shisname’ ! Do you want this guy to be your spokesman ? Really ?
Not forgetting that he fucked up the very popular and long running Larry King Show .
In America , the disease may get a new name after the Presidential elections later this year . What is the disease called in your country ? It is most probably be named after a politician , a buffon , a prat , a prick or a clown . Then again , I repeat myself !
In Britain the BMA wanted a variant of it to be also called Boris Johnson Disease , but changed their minds with his exit !
Please note that Mime-phobia – while not considered a real disease , but is a mild but creepy and repetitive irritation – very much like listening to ‘them’ prattle on and on about ‘their Arsenal ‘ , the sale of great players past and who AW should buy . It’s now widely recognised as the Broken Record Disease. The treatment of choice is to force ‘them’ to repeatedly listen to the loud sounds of fingernails scratching a blackboard . Have a listen here…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0ehUl8Cghw or giving ‘them ‘ a dose of the same . http://giphy.com/gifs/magic-mime-tvsVALk6o4anC
As I continue to study and observe ‘them’ on here , I will give further and detailed reports of my findings , as well as all the new and made up diseases as they come up in my head. . Remember , ‘An ideal mind is a devilish doctor’s workshop’.
And thanks for all the apples you have been sending me . Is there a sublime message here that I’m not getting ?
The Brickfields Gunners
c/o Medical Division of Untold Arsenal .
- Leicester v Arsenal Sat 20 August – The Match Officials and what we know of them.
- Danny’s early return, youngsters leaving, and tales from the Scientology wing of transfer rumours
- I doubt if anyone has ever had their mind changed by arguments on this site
In case you are interested
We’ve just published an analysis of the tactics Herbert Chapman used both at Huddersfield and at Arsenal to win the league – and started to consider why it took six years for him to replicate that Huddersfield approach at Arsenal. Others may have trodden this path before, but I have not seen the analysis done in this way previously.