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Arsenal v Southampton: the match preview

by Quiet Quentin

It has been a curiously muted build up to this game with Mr Wenger being particularly tight lipped in response to, it must be said, what was some untypically muted questioning from the world’s media at the pre-match press conference.  Indeed at times one wondered if there was anyone there at all.

Of course there have been the usual commentaries about injuries – one of which I noticed was so extreme as to suggest that Arsenal’s injury crisis is now so great that they will struggle to put out a side today.   But I think this is going a little too far.

BBC Radio 5 however did do a preview last night which was a huge improvement on its normal Friday night output, saying, ”         ” and then again ”                “.   The counter argument was largely unheard, but of course it was ever thus.  It was however a start.

As for the form guide Southampton seem to have lost their way somewhat, and one wag suggested that they had given up completely and were having difficulty coping with the entire concept of this game.  But the press as usual have taken their typical view focusing on “the forgotten players”, “the unsung heroes” and “the players we simply will not see.”

Tickets for the match have been particularly hard to find, and there have been reports of even the disgraceful ticket touts that litter the streets around Arsenal station giving the whole match up as a bad job.  A similar protest has also been called for by the street vendors.

As for predictions, 0-0 seems to be the bookies favourite, and it has become difficult to get any odds on this score at all.  Maybe someone has some inside information that has not reached us yet.

However for those who do make it to the game, I am sure they will see football the likes of which they have never, ever seen before, football in which you can hardly believe that the game is happening before you eyes.

The one worry of course for this type of match is just how much noise the crowd will make.  A veritable wall of silence, as some have predicted will put a real dampner on the match, and that really would be a shame for all those people who have worked so hard to get this game on, despite the surrounding apathy.

As for the teams, I expect Arsenal to line up

The invisible man

Left at home     Backed away     Backed further away    So right back he’s gone

White on white      No one

He’s-left Early     Willie Play    You won’t believe he’s playing

Hardly Anyone

Referee: Imnot Ere

It is, you will admit I am sure, something of an esoteric line up, with elements of the team that failed to win a single game during the whole of June last year, although I must admit I have always maintained that was more the opposition’s fault, rather than the Arsenal team.

The real surprise of course is the inclusion of Untold’s Sir Hardly Anyone in the number nine role. Especially given that the last time I saw him he was at his stately home in Rutlandshire eating nine rolls.  But on a day like today experimentation must be the order of the game, and indeed this type of experimentation is what the world is by and large known for.

There is a rumour going around that because of some of the nasty things we’ve said about Sky’s match preview programme, they won’t be mentioning the game at all, but I do think that is a little childish.  However we are assured that the Match of the Day review of the game on BBC1 tonight will be absolutely up to its usual standard.

Do say (if you are a chicken): Is this some kind of a yolk?

Don’t say: I’m not sure about this new invisible kit.

As Brickfield Gunners recently said: Just remember to turn your hourglass anti-clockwise.

Recent Posts

Arsenal History Books on Kindle

The novel “Making the Arsenal” by Tony Attwood which describes the events of 1910, which created the modern Arsenal FC, is now available for the first time on Kindle.  Full details are here.

Also available on Kindle, “Woolwich Arsenal: the club that changed football” the only comprehensive history of the rise of Arsenal as a league club, and the attempts to destroy the club, from within and without.   For full details please see here.

18 comments to Arsenal v Southampton: the match preview

  • Tommo

    Hilarious! Looking forward to the post match ref review too.

  • Leon

    In the absence of any Arsenal related activity this weekend I’ll look forward to and hopefully enjoy Taboo.

  • Laos gooner

    I’m not sure about No one in midfield, has he recovered from injury yet? I would also question the lack of proper title for Sir Hardly. The correct form of address is important to maintain standards. I was hoping for some tactical thoughts on what we might expect from the game however, there seems to be something missing. My gypsy grandmother has predicted an Arsenal win based on the movement of native British squirrels. Come on you gunners

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ Q Q – On the beach probably are Hoo Thar ?, Left outside , Diss Appear , Rite Hoff , Mis Ing , Whar D’Ego and ‘Arry Houdini .

    I bet that there will still be crazy people holding banners outside the stadium and screaming abuse at absent season ticket holders , AKBs , overseas or plastic fans , Silent Stan and whoever else is not there. Just watch out for those pigeons !
    And Tony will still not be getting his cappuccino either !

  • WalterBroeckx

    The best match preview ever written 🙂 LOL

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Did you know ?

    ‘Most men have an inborn talent of recognising women from behind …its called Ass’trology!’

    It is of course very different from Ass Trollogy , which however you look at it is a double negative !

    An Asstrolley is a new gadget for those who are way too bottom heavy !

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    It’s good to be cracking jokes a times to fill the void and laugh off as Arsenal don’t have a PL date to honour this weekend until on the 4th of March away to Liverpool to discuss. But on a serious thinking, that’s a match I want Arsenal to win to keep alive their push for a PL title win this season and put Liverpool’s push for a 4th place finish seriously in doubt. Anthony Conte said he wants to collect 32 more PL points to assured himself and Chelsea they’ll lift the PL title trophy this season. So, it’s up to Le Prof and the Gunners to give him and his Chelsea team a though challenge for his money and deny them lifting that PL title trophy but Arsenal lift it.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Don’t you just hate it when you have done all the week’s required work , cleared all your appointments and kept the whole weekend free to kickback ,relax and party with the guys and watch sports on tv .

    Only , to have the world’s best cricket test side skittled out by Australia within 3 days.
    And your favourite football team’s opponent are off playing in some tin pot final.
    Bummer !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ SAA – We have done our part and have shared the points with Chelski , 4-3 on aggregate.
    Its the other teams that aren’t doing their respective bit in slowing them down !

  • para

    Thought i was in a different dimension for a moment then. Arsenal v Sou? I ran to check the fixtures page just in case there was a game before i read the article, and felt foolish after reading it. Ah well!
    //
    Lets hope the rest for our players is good for them for two tough games coming up.

    Liverpool and 3 days later Bayern.

    The lads will need to pull out all registers to win both these matches.

    Lets hope for good team selections, determined players and the urge to win.

  • Menace

    Well there was a match that seems to have become invisible U 23 Arsenal 4 – Chelsea 1.Match was played on Friday afternoon.

  • Menace

    Make it clearer Arsenal 4 Chelsea 1

  • Leon

    Menace
    You must have missed the live updates on the Santi Cazorla thread.

  • Menace

    Leon – I did! Thanks, the comments were more detailed than the report on .com.

  • Menace

    The officials for the above match are Dont Knowitch, Blow Me & Anthony Blind. Manager – Arseenit Before

  • Thanks guys. We did actually catch a few people out who read the headline and had a laugh at our expense – without first reading the little article.

  • Gord

    I think this little break due to rescheduling will be quite useful to help with injuries. Of course, it will come at the cost of fixture congestion later on.

  • I was fairly close last time out:

    Cech, Gibbs (pace over discipline we attack) Mert (experience over pace can call Gibbs back), Mustarfi, Bellerin, Xaka, Couquelin, Ramsey, Chamberlain, Walcott, Alexis. That’s what you call mobile clean sheet unit. Shkodran sits on Long, Couquelin Tadic and Xhaka has pace to hit three ways, with those diagonals. You push up to the half and squeeze the midfield and by-pass it! Show them down the line, they play narrow and counter. with widemen likely to cut in from wide areas, this one is about breaking up play and distributing to effective penetrative players quickly, before they reset!

    Easy, can he make them understand that?!

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