Barcelona want Massimiliano Allegri from Juventus as their new manager now their current man has been officially registered as a disaster. But Arsenal also want him, and he’s ready to leave.
What is not said is that Allegri in Italian translates as Merry, so maybe he is having a joke, although to musicians versed in the classical romantic tradition the word also means fast.
Now of course talk of such matters leads to the re-writing of history by removing FA Cup wins as trophies (although league cup wins by Man U are counted). That is standard policy, but the bloggetta Just Arsenal has now gone a stage further by writing “Arsenal have not won a league title since the infamous ‘Invincibles’ season back in 2004.”
This indeed a new approach to re-writing the club’s history, and one that will take boggettering up to a new level of insanity. (Just in case you were as perplexed as we were by this, we checked with Google on the meaning of “infamous” and indeed is does mean abominable, outrageous, shocking, shameful, disgraceful, dishonourable, discreditable, unworthy, unprincipled, unscrupulous monstrous, atrocious, appalling, dreadful, terrible, heinous, detestable, disgusting, loathsome, hateful, wicked, vile, base, unspeakable, unforgivable, iniquitous, criminal, odious, nefarious, scandalous; filthy, low-down… you get the idea.
Another interesting concept is that it is Arsene Wenger who would have to give “his seal of approval, like Sir Alex Ferguson gave to David Moyes on his exit from Manchester United”. That is fascinating since it means that if the successor performs as well as David Moyes Mr Wenger could be blamed for that.
Next up we have that old reprobate G Souness, the guy who when at Southampton was conned Aly Dia in November 1996 into being given a first team game as a sub without actually having a trial (on the grounds of being George Weah’s cousin).
Most people to whom something like that happened would hide in the bathroom forever more, but no. Souness has got a fixation on the name, for having been bamboozled by Aly Dia he is now flummoxed by Deli Ali who rightly got sent off for a disgraceful Tottenham style tackle recently.
Souness said of this disgraceful tackle, that it was “one of the reasons he could become a top player. Alli has a bit of devil in him, an edge that most top players possess… if I was his manager, I would be quietly saying to myself: ‘Thank goodness he has got that in him’.”
But Souness is quite clear that only people whose names sound like Aly Dia (forwards or backwards) get his thumbs up made it quite clear that he did not like Xhaka’s tackle that got him sent off. He used phrases like “exploding head” in the context.
So there we have the solution. If Granit changes his name to Aly, or Delly, or Dia or Deli or something like that, the Sounessian manifestation of oddness personified could really like the guy.
Moving on, having suggested that because Mr Wenger is about to leave Arsenal Hector Bellerin is going to trot off as well, it has now been revealed by no less an authority than the Daily Star that… well let me give you headline so you can work it out.
“Arsenal star in U-turn over Barcelona switch: Premier League giants cleared to sign him”
Just days after claiming Bellerin is returning to Barcelona” Hector has realised that he “Doesnt want to make the Cesc mistake of going back to Barceolna”. So he is going off to a club that clearly is above Arsenal in the pecking order. Manchester City. Because Manchester City have Pep. The man who refused to push him through to the first team… at Barcelona.
If you can make sense of that, then maybe you should be working alongside Souness. But best to change your name first. As one publication put it, “More significantly, City have tended to poach some of the Gunners’ best players in years gone by, including Samir Nasri, Emmanuel Adebayor…”
Well, up to a point.
Elsewhere we have the news that the little media have discovered “Two players responsible for Arsenal’s failure”. And according to the authoritative Football Transfer Tavern it is Xhaka and Ozil. But others don’t agree arguing that Ozil still has a role to play for Arsenal by agreeing to a new contract. As Pain in the Arsenal puts it “Mesut Ozil Can Be Hero Of The Season Still Yet.” And once you have got your head round what “Still Yet” actually means you may ask “how?”
Well, of course, by getting Alexis to stay because he stays if Ozil stays.
Elsewhere it seems that years of slog by Untold have now made the breakthrough as the authoritative Goonerholic runs the headline “Please Let German Video Referee Trial Lead To Improved Officiating” after the league cup refereeing error. Nice to know we are noticed.
Some articles don’t even need to be written of course such as the one from Football Insider which is headlined Piers Morgan delivers Arsenal verdict on Wenger, compares with Mourinho.
Meanwhile back in the world of contradictions, the Sun says that clubs are lining up to take the out of favour Arsenal striker Perez – a bit of a turnaround from last summer’s story in which Arsenal were told they desperately needed a striker. The problem for the media is that they find it hard to admit that Arsenal are the league’s top scorers having run all those “desperate” stories.
What makes this one odd is that Goal.com is currently running Perez ‘really comfortable’ after settling at Arsenal. But the Metro says that the main problem is that “Arsenal will struggle to make a profit on the deal.”
One story still doing the rounds is that “Massive blow for Arsenal as star posts worrying injury update” – that fromArsenal’s Mohamed Elneny Steps Up Recovery From Ankle Injury… With a Vigorous Rope Workout.
Back to the manager Football London asks, Could former Arsenal star Giovanni Van Bronckhorst be a shock contender to replace Wenger? While the Metro tells us “Ronald Koeman insists Everton can still secure Champions League place”
Ah well. Best let them get on with it I suppose.
Arsenal History Books on Kindle
The novel “Making the Arsenal” by Tony Attwood which describes the events of 1910, which created the modern Arsenal FC, is now available for the first time on Kindle. Full details are here.
Also available on Kindle, “Woolwich Arsenal: the club that changed football” the only comprehensive history of the rise of Arsenal as a league club, and the attempts to destroy the club, from within and without. For full details please see here.