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Arsenal’s early season gets a significant boost

The start of the new season at Arsenal has been given an enormous boost as all 23 players in the world cup squad of France have been suspended.

It might only be for one game, but ensuring that at least three of our top players are not selected for France in the forthcoming round of Car Thief Friendlies (named after Wenger’s description of international managers as a bunch of car thieves) is great news.

Thus it is that when France play Norway in Oslo on Wednesday, 11 August, Diaby, Sagna and Clichy will not be there and so will not be injured.

Of course there is a danger that the French Football Federation and their head of Car Theft might choose someone else from Arsenal to play for them, but if so we should do our level best to persuade whoever is selected, not to go.  (They could of course turn to Vieira, but that’s not a matter for us).

Nicolas Anelka, who was sent home for insulting the coach Raymond Domenech was immediately awarded the Untold Services To Humanity and Sanity Medal by this site.  Nikky baby, we salute you.

So who is now in danger of injury during a mindless game of nonsense?

Traore, Nasri and Walcott are all possibles.

Traore has played for France under 19, under 18, under 17.

Nasri was excluded from the French squad in South Africa, which didn’t help the French much, but undoubtedly saved him.

Walcott’s inclusion in the list may surprise you, but his mother once went on a cross channel shopping expedition for Calais while she was pregnant with Theo, and thus he qualifies under the Landri- Boulanger-Legrand Interpretation of the Fifa rules on nationality.

Traore, Nasri, Walcott – we urged you – do not be tempted.  Do not go.

Blanc, the new car thief, will announce his squad for the Norway game on Thursday, 5 August.

Meanwhile there are clear indications from Arsenal in Foreign Parts that Jay Emmanuel “The Tree” Thomas and Emmanuel “Untold hasn’t thought of a stupid nickname yet” Frimpong are both fully fledged members of the first team squad for the season ahead.

Great News.

Fortunately neither have ever been to France.  The Tree is totally English, and so won’t be called up, since England doesn’t use Arsenal players, but Frimpong is Ghanaian so will sadly be lost to the African Cup of Nations.  But he could choose to play for England, and so would not play.  (Hey – don’t tell him about not playing – just let him choose).

Last, thanks to everyone who trotted over to my history site, “Woolwich Arsenal” to read up on the ideas about a monument to Herbert Chapman at the stadium.  The idea is expanding and there will be more about this on that site shortly.

If you have been, thank you for reading

Tony Attwood

———————————

If it wasn’t untold we would not have to publish it

Woolwich Arsenal: the Arsenal history site

“Making the Arsenal”: the novel about the takeover of Arsenal 100 years ago.

12 comments to Arsenal’s early season gets a significant boost

  • Bongo

    There’s no African cup of nations this year is there?

  • jason

    One other that might be added is Koscielny, if he starts the season for Arsenal and preforms well then he might take Gallas’s place in french squad too.

  • Gooner Akhtar

    Hahahahaha…….Emanuel Untold…..lol… Koscielny in the French Squad !!!……… I am worried that Wenger himself might be called upon to play !!!! I wonder which position would suit him best ???

  • rockofgilberto

    No ACN this season, but from what I hear there may be African cups for 2 successive January’s (I believe one would be something other than ACN). More football association money-grabbing, now with an African flair.

  • Rumors spreading around that three Barcelona players : Careless Puyol,Gerard Pig-ué and Xavier Hari-nandez are planing to kidnap Cesc Fàbregas and keep him on trophy room !

  • Fred

    The boy is on form today – very funny

  • esm

    Nasri is sure to be called up. Kos and Traore are real chances, I would think, given that Arsenal is generally “Les Bleus in Exile.” I worry that Theo will be called up for the England friendly with Hungary in 3 weeks and again for Euro qualifiers against Bulgaria and Switzerland in September. Spain has a game in Mexico on 8/11, then games 9/3 (Euro qualifier) and 9/7 (friendly IN Argentina, Why?). Holland has a friendly in Ukraine 8/11, then qualifiers in San Marino and against Finland, 9/3 and 9/7. The chances for important injuries are legion, even with our Frenchmen safe for a game!

  • jason

    You can bet on Cesc being brought to South America if he’s still at Arsenal!! At the world cup this year it was like he was told he wouldn’t be played unless he signed for Barca!! I know he was not fully fit, but his lack of games at the WC was still abit fishy AND the whole of Barcas backroom visiting the camp couldnt have been just to say good luck Spain, didnt hear of Reals backroom visiting! So this a strange one!

  • black ice

    Frimpong will play For Ghana and so he should.
    after englands show at the world cup i feel sorry for the likes of jack,lansbury and JET who can’t change their allegiance to France.
    Bet they wish Frimpong can put in a good word for them on his first appearance for Ghana.
    Couldn’t be happier for Frimpong and JET, they’ve worked hard for this.

  • Rhys Jaggar

    Well, I guess if we are talking about larceny, I suppose that taking 16 year old Europeans to Arsenal with no compensation to the clubs which nurtured them and are not, by law, allowed to sign them until they are 17 comes firmly into that bracket.

    My comments to date about a need to go to the opticians (political speak for being two-faced) to date were rather restrained.

    This site trashes sponsors who pay millions of pounds to sponsor tournaments and would undoubtedly inform the Emirate Sheikhs who sponsored our stadium that it will henceforth be known as the ‘Oily Arabs stadium’. Because the arabs made their money from oil, so it is merely descriptional, not insulting. Or how about the We want to nick British Airways’ 1st class customers’ stadium??

    They will also christen Arsene Wenger child thief for taking Fran Merida for eff all and perhaps quite a few more for all I know.

    And they will christen the Israeli sponsors of Arsenal, whose name comes up on the boards at the stadium from time to time, the ‘non-yiddo Jews’, since they don’t support Spurs but are almost certainly Jewish.

    You may find that you are regarded, as a result, as somewhat lacking in decorum, manners and courtesies.

    And those are qualities which, were Arsenal FC so classy, would be present in abundance.

    For class does not require a need to insult others, since enjoying ones own joys is enough on its own.

    Think about that………….

  • hamster

    I’d like to give my take on things,if it’s ok with truewengerite;my mentor! although Mr.Wenger is the best manager in the history of management,and has won more trophies than any manager in history,including 10 champions leagues,2 eufa cups,and 1 cup winners cup,not to mention the 6 year period when he retained the pl title consecutively,but I feel the great man has gone barking mad!Imagine u have a keeper who’s 33,has had 2 whole seasons as no1,and 4 more as no2 and struggles to catch a simple cross,and he still doesn’t realise hes hopeless,then u have a keeper who hasn’t learned that a back pass isn’t to be picked up,and couldn’t catch a cold,and hes 25 not exactly 15,and yet u think he’d turn out to be a star,hes had the whole of this summer time to strengthen that and other areas,and with 3 weeks left I doubt it very much he would get what’s needed,all this while he himself acknowledges man city will be a force,the kop strengthening,spurs knocking on our door,he goes out and spends £10m on a French second division player with 1 year of top flight experience,brings him to the pl the land of the giants to compete against drogba,davies and rooney,and this dudes got the muscle mass of a stick,he then attempts to APPARENTLY sign Phil jagielka someone who’s been playing at left back or lcb,and wants to pair him with verminator;someone who plays in the same position,and may I add another short one,he goes out and gets us a poor mans cr7 aka adebayor II,he gives Walcott someone who crosses balls regularly into the stands and gives the best assists to the ball boys season after season to prove he can actually pass the ball,take a shot on target,and not run into players,but gives a real star like vela only 2 starts,and a few 5 mins cameos here and there,woof woof wenger,uve gone barking mad!

  • Waleed

    Hey Rhys, relax. The “insults” are all tongue-in-cheek. Don’t take it all too seriously because that’s not how it’s intended, I’m sure.