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What would you like to change at Arsenal

By Tony Attwood

What would you change about Arsenal?  Since, as you know, I am a devotee of the mighty Lord Wenger, not much. And it is not normally a question I would even contemplate.  But this advert from Football Manager 2011 turned up and it was full of the WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOUR CLUB thing.

Their article rather mirrored the last piece by the gracious and eternally eternal Bogus Cheese, in that it was suggesting that if one supported the IOU then one would dismiss the troublesome potato man and bring in some kiddies.

Except, oh dear, Man IOU don’t have much of a youth policy since the youth academy was turned into a shopping mall courtesy of the owners.

Anyway it seems that the whole Football Manager thing involves making changes to one’s own club and then seeing how you get on, and for Mirror Football fans it can all be done in advance. Indeed the announcement says that Mirror Football readers will have access to the game before everyone else on Thursday 21st October which must be rather jolly.  Apparently within this context  www.mirrorfootball.co.uk has some sort of deep meaning.

But anyway what would I change?  Well, first off, I would get the club to improve its “move your season ticket” facility since then I would be able to get away from the moron who sits behind me and slags off Bendtner all the time.  I think for his age the young man is brilliant, and what we want to do is keep him, not complain about him.

Next up I would ensure that the “remove the top from your water bottle” auto reaction among the catering staff is brought permanently to an end.  We debated this at an AISA meeting recently, and it seems that 99% of people who buy water in the ground bring their own bottle tops anyway, so the whole policy, apart from being insulting is also rather pointless.

For the game against the Time Wasting Killers from the midlands they seem to have stopped this policy, so that’s good.

Oh and I would set up a team in the third division of the Scottish league, and another one in the Conference south (or failing that Belgium) so we could watch the reserves play competitive matches.

So it seems that with Football Manager 2011, you can play out these scenarios although I am not sure about the water bottle business.  Nor about removing the guy a few rows behind me.  But hey, if you can with Football Manager even better, I’ll buy one.  Must ask Bogus about that, she probably knows.  (Actually she wants cheddar on sale in the ground, and I am not sure if that is in Football Manager.)

What else?  Well it seems there is Mirror Football Goals – A free Facebook fantasy 5-a-side football game in association with Renault. Pick your team, set up your mini-league and invite your mates at: www.mirror.co.uk/goals

Now here’s an interesting bit.  If I include these images I get a free ham sandwich.

Tell you what I would also like to change – midweek league matches, because Jane can’t get to those. That’s a pain. And matches played when it is very cold, or snowing (I missed one home game last season because of the snow. They shut these railway lines down in a trice in the midlands.  Any excuse.  I think Midland Mainline is run by a load of junkies in Nottingham, but perhaps that is another story).

The problem is they just appear to be blobs to me, but maybe they’ll all come out in the wash.

Is that all right guys? Do I get the $25,000 now?

Mirror Football
Mirror Football website
Football Manager in advance with Mirror Football

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18 comments to What would you like to change at Arsenal

  • walter

    I would replace the refs in the EPL with the one from yesterday. 😉

    I would make more tickets available for supportersclubs from outside the UK so we don’t have to disapoint 1 on 3 members from our supportersclub who we can’t take with us on November 7 when we come over for the game against Newcastle.

  • rusty

    I agree with Walter about the refs.

    And, actually, Football Manager does track individual referees and assign them game-quality scores (and choose which ones referee the continental competitions, international games, etc), so it’s always possible they’ll take into account the good work put in yesterday by Mr. Moen and he’ll show up in the in-game Champions League final a couple years down the line…

  • A Casual Observer

    I would like to change the song they play at the start – ‘the wonder of you’… never that fond of it – I would prefer something more local like ‘Rise’ by P.I.L. – shouting ‘Anger is an Energy’ at the away fans just before kickoff would do it for me!

    Other than that… hmmm – maybe I would change some of the fans and get some of the annoying self-harmers out of the stadium and back to thier cozy arm chairs.

  • Golopapas

    I would like to change Arshavin for Eden Hazard 😀

  • WalterBroeckx

    Golopapas, in Belgium there is some debate going on about Hazard that he doesn’t like to train as hard as others. And I really think this doesn’t sound good if you ask me.

  • Wilsheres dad

    More vocal fans. 2000 away fans often making more noise in support of their team than 59,000 home fans is embarrassing.

  • Dark Prince

    I’d surely love to rename Emirates as The Grove!! 🙂

  • Terry Williams

    @ Casual: I always hated that song too…what about “good Old Arsenal” …after 1/2 hour of that before kick off even the walking dead would start to sing! Emirates is OK as it helps pay for the stadium but why can’t we just refer to our home as Highbury…after all it’s technically still in Highbury…

  • Brickfields Gunners

    I ‘ll have to agree with Wilsheres dad that the Ems be more vocal .Worse comes to worse have taped cheers( just like canned laughter on sitcoms) or magnify the crowd noise ( you may have to filter it or Tony will have his eardrums shattered by that Bendtner hating moron behind him).
    The worldwide supporters can send in their taped chants/cheers so that even though we are afar, our voices can be heard.

  • Terence McGovern

    Definitely the noise level at the ground is what I would change.
    Compare the intensity of sound at the Bernabeu when a goal is scored.
    Song pamphlets on seats and designated supporters to lead the chants. If you are not hoarse after a match you weren’t trying hard enough.

  • TommieGun

    Easy – the new away kit … bahhhh

  • ONOWU TOP GUNNER

    I will demote DIABY & BENDTNER, replace them with CHUKS ANEKE & JET. And make sure our middfield in every match is the same as on wed against shakhtar.

  • simon bailey

    a transporter type thingie like they have in star trek to get me from Ireland to the Emirates. I know Arsenal probably can’t provide this even if they wanted to, but it’s a nice thought.

    Apart fom that, nothing really. If it aint broke, don’t fix it.

  • FinnGooner

    I lovelot of those things especially Simon’s that transfer thingy available in every country (maybe capitals) or then 1 that you could order that would hover around certain area so I could order it to pick me up from Finland and it would return me back home after the match or next day (even that would mean extra cost for my employer with me taking few tests almost weekly because visiting UK).
    About Bernabeu I visited there once in late 90’s and loudest moment was during half time as they showed basketball match between Real Mad and Barca (RM won) but maybe it was just bad match…

  • A Casual Observer

    Got another one – what about a tunnel from Holloway Road tube station to the ground? Think ‘the Wembley walk’… but underground – and less burger vans.

  • Samuel

    More goals scored and way less conceded ,meaning more clean sheets ,more points and less refereeing blunders which cause fans endless sleepless nights?

  • Adam

    Id like Arsenal to move training grounds, as i want my garden back.

  • Just a couple of points: The Wonder of You has been demoted and various other songs are being tried – and there is the new countdown with the clock. London Calling has been played quite a lot, and there’s the new film with all the goals scored.

    And in terms of the noise level, I am sure it is very much a case of where you sit – and of course the variation game by game. The last Euro game this week didn’t produce that much noise because it was too easy for us. But when it matters, the volume does rise.