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Untold Oiks

Oik of the week – an Untold Award

We like comments on Untold.  Comments can be informative, and sometimes very funny.

And it is to celebrate some of the funny ones that we get on Untold that we have introduced “Oik of the Week”

The aim is to give out awards to writers of comments that we consider to be particularly oikish.  (“Oik” in this case is not defined – which is what makes it easier to make up the awards).

There are lots of Oik of the Week awards including

Abuser of the Week.   This is for people who reply to articles in which a theory is produced, with arguments and points explored.  The Abuser comes in and says, “if you believe that you are a total twat” or words to that effect.  No debate, no argument, no analysis.

Adult of the Week.   Adults regularly write in and say that we are being childish.  Which is a bit dumb, because sometimes we are childish.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  Life is too short to be serious and grown up all the time.   Sometimes we are, but not always.

Depressive of the Week.   “Arsenal are going to end up mid-table” is there regular comment.  Unless we clear out these players, and spend £xxxm we are doomed.   Think Private Fraser on Dad’s Army.

Fixator of the Week.  Fixators believe that somehow we are not allowed by write about other clubs, and so after a closely argued piece about Tottenham for example they claim in two lines that we are “fixated” on that club.

Hysteric of the week.  The hysteric believes that the players we have, the manager we have, the position in the league we have, etc etc etc is “not good enough for a club of Arsenal’s stature.

Humourless pratt of the week.  There are a lot of readers in the great wide yonder who believe that they have an absolute ability to judge humour.  If they don’t find something funny, then that’s it.  It isn’t funny.  And they want to write in and tell us.   What they fail to do is recognise that such a single-person definition of humour is itself rather amusing.

Non-scientist of the week.  Sometimes articles pull in scientific analysis.  But, say some people, this is not science.  They never explain why – they just demand higher and higher levels of proof.  Levels of proof in fact that are never demanded in science.   Presumably people like this quite often jump out of windows into the street, on the grounds that the mechanism for gravity has never been found.

The point is, overall, that Untold Oiks don’t bother to look at the background of Untold, don’t bother to read a few articles, and much of the time don’t bother to read other people’s comments.   If they did, they could then join in the debate.

We don’t stop comments just because we don’t like the point of view. All we do is block comments that are off-topic, abusive, or copied from somewhere else.  Those two-line attempts to destroy a carefully argued 1000 word article with a bit of abuse, always give us a good laugh.   And now they are going to get their Awards too.