The Tiny Totts v Royal Arsenal

By Bulldog Drummond

The north London game at 748 High Road is always a welcome step away from the hurlyburly of playing those funny fellas from the north.

‘tup norf as they say, they parade drone air machines carrying sarcastic banners and pretend they are sophisticates playing a match of significance – egged on always by their chums in the media.

In north London we get on with the regular business.  Tottenham H fans call Arsenal, “Woolwich Arsenal” and sing “North London is ours, fuck off to Woolwich north London is ours” elegantly unaware that a substantial part of the fan base don’t come from north London and that Arsenal have never even once played in Woolwich.  We have played home games in Plumstead and Islington but apart from when the ground was shut, nowhere else.  Indeed even when the ground in Plumstead was shut we played one home league match in Gillingham and one in Leyton.  Points of detail, but important when trying to sort out the commentary of the Tinies.

Thus in reply to their curious chants we repost with, “You won the league in black and white” (which I suppose also isn’t quite true – they were black and white on TV, of course, but their shorts were I believe navy blue.)

They sing, “Oh when the Spurs come marching in” and we reply with “Oh when the wheels come off the bus”.  And upon a victory there is jolly round of “It’s happened again, it’s happened again, Tottenham Hotspur, it’s happened again.”

Happy days.  And all done in the best possible taste.

Tottenham have, for this match what is known in the press as “a full complement of players,” something Arsenal have never had.  And indeed if type III match fixing is the order of the day we can see why – Tottenham’s lack of positioning in the top four for most of the Champions League era has meant it would be irrelevant.

But that is why we have a bigger squad, to cope with the inevitable injuries that come either from pure chance of Type III match fixing.

There are stories that Alexis is desperate to play, and is asking for a further test this morning.  But on the other hand the team in the last match looked fairly fit and organised to me, so maybe we should just leave him until we face the more fearsome opposition of Leicester next week.

Danny Welbeck is back and available.  Jack Wilshere and his chum Wojciech from the goalmouth are off checking the price of tobacco.   Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is still out, along with Arteta Mathieu Debuchy, and Serge Gnabry.

The Tiny Totts have lost twice in 14 games, a fearsome run in itself, and we have won 12 of the last 15. In the last eight games each side has 24 points which is quite a lot really.  Our prime task is to deal with Harry Kane rather like we dealt with David Silva.  Then I suspect all will be well.

Ooooooospina will relish his first trip to the High Road, where he can visit Poundland and the 99p shop for some tat, and be relaxed in the knowledged that  Theo loves playing against the Tinies except when he is injured and he and the ambulance men are pelted with stuff from tiny supporters.  The record books show him having scored four and assisted three goals in his last six league matches with the High Road gang, and we’ve won five in the last seven, with all three last season.

But we have to recall that the Tinies will be all boosted up for this for if they win it will make it their 50th league win against Arsenal out of 156 games.  Rather good.  Who won the rest? I’ll give you a clue.  42 were draws.

This calendar year Tottenham have been the league’s top scorers, but they also give away penalties (six in all so far) so one wonders what the ref will make of that.

For us, as always with a Wengerian team, we are the top scorers since December with 23 and the top points earners with 22 and we ain’t let one in, in the last three games.  What does Oooooospina do when he picks up a ball out the back of the net in a league game?

History is most certainly with us (we’ve won five of the last seven against the Tinies).   But overall this match is the classic moment for sports “journalists” to change their tune.  Just look at this from one of today’s more “serious” papers.

“if they need to shut up shop, Arsene Wenger will be able to call on Calum Chambers, Kieran Gibbs, Gabriel and Mathieu Flamini. Not bad defensive options… Bellerin is another one who is getting better each week, while Nacho Monreal is in the form of his life, and keeping the consistent Gibbs out of the team.”

And another

“Wenger’s attacking options are mouthwatering”

Whatever happened to Arsenal’s crisis?  Don’t tell me these guys have been reading Untold.

Well the analysis has changed and so we’ve gone over to “Arsenal are less tactically naïve than in previous years”.  Clever chaps these journalists – always ahead of the game.  Except when writing of Coquelin and saying “no one saw that coming”.  Now we all know who did.  (In fact I keep sending them the link but they take no notice).

Here’s the guys on the grass…


Bellerin Mert Kos Monreal

Ramsey Coquelin Cazorla

Walcot Giroud Ozil

On the beach we have some of Szczesny, Chambers, Gibbs, Gabriel, Flamini, Rosicky, Maybe Sánchez, Akpom, Welbeck

So there we have it.  Since the arrival of Mr W and the outrageous attack on him by journalists that followed in September 1996 we’ve always been above the Tinies.  His record is Won 21 drawn 17 lost 6.  Tiny Managers have come and gone.  Lots of them.  Lots and lots.

Does anyone know a song about that?


10 stories of Arsenal and Tottenham that the media usually fail to mention, and one that they do – but invariably get totally wrong.

Tottenham v Royal Arsenal: the match officials

And from the anniversary files that appear on the home page of Untold each day, my selection of anniversary of the day….

7 February 1953: Arsenal 4 Tottenham 0.  1st goal was the  100th goal in league and cup games between the clubs, 4th was 100th league goal between them.


165 Replies to “The Tiny Totts v Royal Arsenal”

  1. “Tiny Managers have come and gone. Lots of them. Lots and lots.

    Does anyone know a song about that?”

    There must be something about headless chickens out there…

  2. I only want a win, if possible a 1-0 win to Arsenal scored in the last second. It would make me happy if it is an own goal too, probably from Harry Kane!

  3. oooh tiny tots, i’m seeing a draw here and if anttinkison i hate all these, guys did not smoke shisha we will then take all the 3 points with the tiny tots scoring first. or walcott wining it for us.

  4. All my friends and colleagues have said pretty much the same thing to me:

    ‘If Spurs play to there best, and you play to your best, then you should win because you are the better team.’

    And that’s how I see it.

    Spurs are a decent team that can be a very good team on there day.

    Arsenal are a very good team that can be a brilliant team on there day.

    It has to be said that we are both capable of throwing in a real wobbler though.

    If nothing else Spurs have shown a great ‘never say die’ attitude, securing late victories on numerous occasions, but the same can be said of ourselves at times as well.

    So wobblers apart, a decent refereeing performance and even handed sprinkling of luck, should see us emerge victorious, but it will not be easy, whatever happens.

  5. Go on to Google maps and type shithole into the search bar. White Hart Lane appears as the third item on the drop down menu and is clearly indicated on the map itself!

  6. Just missed what AW said on stream. Some delay of Arsenal getting to stadium or something like that.

  7. Alexis not playing or on the beach. We start with Oooospina, Belerin, Per, Kos, Nacho, cow, Aaron, Santi, özil,Welbeck @ Giroud. On the beach – Szcz,Gibbs, Gabriel, Rosicky, Theo, Flamini & Akpom.

  8. AW said there had been an accident in the area so the club was held up. They then asked the police for an escort to help get to the ground more quickly and the police refused.

    Welbeck playing instead of Walcott – Theo on the beach.

  9. Para

    Delayed by accident on way to hotel. Then police didn’t supply an escort, so slow from Hotel to ground.

    AW said ‘we arrived in time to prepare and KO on time. He didn’t seem worried at all.

  10. Scholes the twat wanted to say to beat them get into them, what kick them? the other prat said.

  11. Thanks Tony, Jambug. I thought the police was always supposed to be highly involved in football match organisation?

  12. Now we have Scholes admitting that when playing Arsenal:

    “We talked very little about football”

    “It was about getting about them”

    Q = kick ’em?

    “well, yeah, whatever you could get away with”

    We’ve now had THREE ex united players,

    Gary Neville

    Phil Neville

    Paul Scholes

    admit the great Manchester uniteds ‘game plan’ against Arsenal was to “kick ’em” and do “whatever you could get away with”

    “DO WHATEVER YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH”…..and there in lies the disgrace that is the PGMOL

  13. We are playing with fire. Really need to up our game, get on the ball more and start passing forward with pace. need to make Tottenham sit deeper.

  14. We’ve lost it. I can see Tottenham scoring this half. Someone needs to grab this game by the neck and take control.

  15. Ramsey had the ball there and there was NO movement, he had to go backwards. Someone step up please.

  16. Someone asked about songs. With respect to Headless Chickens, there was a headless chicken in Colorado (his name was Mike) which lived a long time, and apparently inspired song. There was also a band called the Headless Chickens, from New Zealand.

    I’m not having any luck on tiny managers.


  17. Will there is always possession with both teams calm down you weather the storm and come out gns blazing too

  18. What, we have hardly had the ball, we are inviting them on and when we do get the ball, no one is moving, I would be surprised if we have had the ball in their half more than 7 times.

    We need to get hold of the ball, give the defence a rest but attack with purpose.

  19. We are waiting our chances until second half.
    Defending, but need to sharpen up a little.

    Two attacks now one yellow, on giroud and ramsey.

  20. What a cheat Atkinson is Welbeck booked for a Danny Rose dive. The spuds are cheating with the crow.

  21. TheGuardian thinks all the fouling is by Arsenal, and that the ref is favouring them.

    > 42 min: … Spurs haven’t had the luck with the decisions so far.


  22. Atkinson is itching to send off an Arsenal player, two bookings for nothing.
    Good to hear Michael Owen crying, he really hates us!

  23. May I point out that we are having the sort of game we expected vis a vis fouls, ref etc.

    Arsenal are 0-1 up, although I suspect some commentators have forgotten.

    It is not a case of being only as good as the last five minutes, it is a case of playing out the whole game. Quite honestly away to the Tinies I would accept it if they had 120% of possession if we get the win.

  24. like his face is saying I’m doing well to piss the arsenal players off so they can’t play

  25. Will, will you just shut the fuck up and stop crapping your pants on Untold while watching the game?

    Yeah, I know you’ve been an Arsenal fan since 1886 but frankly, I don’t give a fuck. Watch the game and keep your worries to yourself till the end of the game. Your incessant whining is pretty fucking annoying.

  26. Ozil should Get back and easo of the pressure. am not talkong when we are defending, amntalking when we are attacking. He should move more and get to the middle and take the ball from Ramsey, just like the villa game? Why is he not doind so?

  27. Still all tinies chances were from loose ball, they just throw the ball and hope for a lucky loose one. We are much better, we just need to hold them back, am sure we can do it. Score the second maybe?

  28. Anyone know how many fouls we committed in the first half for those 2 yellows?

    Can only be 4 or 5 max.

  29. We may not have a lot of possession but we are defending well and we have taken our best chance of the game. I’ll take that over dominating possession and then taking nothing from the game.

    I am sure that the game will be different in the second half with us doing a little better possession wise and having more counter attacking opportunities. I trust the manager and I trust his players. Tottenham’s reaction since we score is what any top team would do when trailing a rival at home. We should just be happy that our players have reacted in the best way by defending in numbers. 45 minutes to go.

    Come on Gunners!

  30. Is it not the simplest things to empower refs to rescind poor yellow cards after video evidence at half time

  31. By giving yellows cards for nothing to Arsenal AND not giving any to Mason, Atkinson just tells to the Spurs : “You can keep on diving AND kicking Giroud!” Gutted!

  32. BT is going on and on about Ozil’s goal being an ‘inch’ offside…Leave off already.

  33. the three yellows have made us timid.
    we are probably going to change soon rather than later.

  34. Is there anything more suspect than a referee who tends to neglect every foul suddenly carding Arsenal players for each and every bit of contact?

    Haven’t watched a game that seemed so dodgy for a long, long time.

  35. They are fucking kicking us off the ball and getting away with it. Tottenham have turned it into an Ice Hockey game.

  36. just don’t get it… how is it ok to stamp on a foot and kick in a head is ok….
    and THAT is a foul……..

  37. He clearly does not care as he knows no one will honestly report his incompetence. Half the press are Spurs lovers. Daily Mail head of sports reporting is a lifelong fan.

  38. The quick free kick is only allowed when we do not gain an advantage. Taylor used that one at Stoke too.

  39. It’s easier for them to scream about Harry Kane than highlight the corruption of the officials and low life tactics of Spurs and their manager.

  40. The Refs, pundits and media are all in it together – and people say there’s no conspiracy.

  41. Well, can’t say our ball retention was particularly good so we didn’t have too many coherent counterattacks…that must improve.

    As for Atkinson…purely second rate…Spurs should have had 3 or 4 players on yellows in the middle of the first half…sad really.

  42. We were robbed but Kane scored well. There is nothing more to say other than a crow controls how a game is played.

  43. We fell apart a little though didnt we, not good, not good.
    They deserved that after our 2nd half performance, but in truth not at all because the ref was baised again.

  44. Rose’s dive when Welbeck went by him was so theatrical. And that yellow on Monreal was farcical.

  45. The aaa will be on later, the media will gloat, the shift in balance of power boys will appear in their droves, but anyone with eyes could see what happened today. Atkinson is now the most bent ref in the league. Until the club act, this is going to happen time and time again. Won’t stop us finishing third though.
    We will get Atkinson again for Chelsea unfortunately.

  46. Win some, lose some. If it’s not to be, then it’s not to be.

    Unto the 5th round of the FA Cup.

    I now yield the floor to the AAA and their apologists. So long suckers!

  47. Monreal and Wellbecks yellow’s were a joke! Seen better reffing in a Subbuteo match!

  48. Cheating cheating, and f*kimg cheating!. Well the Arsenal fans stand for that? No, they will blame Wenger. What the hell that was? Welbick was off not because of footballing reason, not because he was tired, because he was on the yellow and angry? Why? The ref is shit.

    The equalizer was from a corner, before they ggot the corner, he gave him an imaginary foul that led to it. Now please somebody explain to me what should the players do in such cases? Giroud fouled, he then get a yellow. Per was fouled (in the box) and spurs could score from counter. this attkinson is a son of a bitcch

  49. The aaa sites are complaining we are not physical enough. Hard to be physical when you only have to encroach the air space of one of their players to be carded.

  50. We neded Rosicky and Theo much earlier. The game changed when they were introduced.

  51. Giroud’s yellow was also absolutely bizarre. I’m certain he was being fouled, before being dispossessed and handed an immediate yellow. Bloody ridiculous.

    Atkinson was the classic home referee today, and while we didn’t play well and while we probably didn’t deserve to win, I’m absolutely certain we’d have got a point out of it if it wasn’t for his bias.

  52. In spite of the referee’s awful performance, it pains me to admit totts were the better team

  53. The Spuds were up for it more than us and they had a 12th player in Atkinson on the pitch. We lost and over the course of the game the Spuds dominated the midfield. Let’s move on and watch the Tots slide down the table. COYG!

  54. This post contained the following among other things

    OH AND WHY ARE ALL MY POSTS BEING DELETED!! You get more of a say in china and north korea.This is the only arsenal message board where if you dont blame referees or injuries for our performances your comments get blocked..

    I’ve explained time and time again, and we have a whole article on this, which is often linked from articles, but here it is again.

    This site has a particular viewpoint which is made quite clear on the home page. We do accept contrary arguments, but not if they include abuse, or simple opinion, without any backup.

    To suggest that the editorial process at Untold Arsenal is somehow worse than North Korea is both silly and abusive, as would comparing someone to Stalin or Hitler.

    Our view is that there are hundreds of sites that promote views alternative to ours, and when we have had a completely open policy on the comments we end up with the same old simplistic points that can be seen in many other places. So why should they be published here as well

    Tony Attwood; publisher

  55. Still, nine of our last fifteen are against bottom half teams who we are beating again so will be ok, but expect this standard of refereeing against Chelsea, Utd and Liverpool. Sanchez and Ox will help as well

  56. @T Ross,

    I can criticize our team and show why we were as bad as we looked, but until those players get a fair game I will not blame non for this result. When Mason makes more than 10 fouls, to get a yellow. Then you know he could stop 10 dangerous moments until the ref said stop (88min?)
    But again, aren’t we are already used to beung screwed? When will this end? Today I will blame the club for not standing for it, and add the fans to that (non but UA and PA stand in face of this total blatant cheating).

  57. Nonny
    sure they were
    when rose see that anything he did is ok…he start to kick push dive…
    any contact from arsenal was a foul or yellow…
    but stump from rose and elbowing from other Tcunt wosnt even a foul….
    cos they were better

  58. Just the most bent reffing performance since Riley. Even worse than the incompetent Taylor v Villa last season. The club must speak out now at this latest outrage and take the fines. Hell, I’ll start a whip round. Where are the checks and balances? Only on Untold? Appalling – dishing out yellows for nothing to us, then ignoring the dirty Spuds stuff. Cmon AFC stand up to these cheats.

  59. I think this has to take the cake for the worst piece of commentary award:

    BBC Live Text

    “Nacho Monreal is in the book for a blatant obstruction of a rampaging Kyle Walker.”

    For those who can’t remember, Monreal if anything was trying to get out of the way as Kyle Walker dived to the ground with almost no contact whatsoever.

  60. @Mandy Dodd Totally agree but our midfield needs to rediscover the steel it used to have. We had nothing in the middle today, everyone seemed to be on triage duty in defense!

  61. We didn’t play great, which happens.

    The point is it makes getting a ‘battling’ point or even win, when not playing well, almost impossible when the referee books your players for every single challenge.

    How many Yellows?

    I defy anyone to tell me we warranted even 2 Yellows.

    As I say, we didn’t play great and didn’t really deserve much from the game, but yet again the Refereeing was so anti Arsenal it was laughable.

    Play well, ok, or bad there is no excuse for such biased refereeing.

  62. Yes the ref was revoltingly biased- but before you all say it-this defeat was not due to the ref- Spurs were all over us like a rash for 80% of this game- we had no answer to their intensity and strength in midfield- we did very little to expose their suspect back 4 for 90% of this game- and we could not handle Harry Kane when it mattered.- doesn’t make us a crap side but we didn’t deserve to win this game today.
    To be honest we really missed Sanchez today.
    But I suppose being objective, not blaming the ref, makes me an AAA.

  63. And how much pressure could spurs put on us after handling the ball with their damn hands. In such games, when the other team pushes high (like spurs did) all you want is a breather, and that is through a high ball to giroud which will push them back when he heads it to his teammates. Now when that happened (after he was wrestled) the other Player recieving the ball was fouled (not a clear tackle, but a push,a foot on him, a shirt pull, and so on) the ball is cut and they are om us again.

  64. We have to put this game in the past and quickly. Spurs simple outplayed us all over the pitch and fully deserved their win. It should have been a lot more. We now have to pick ourselves up and go on a run.

  65. We know we’re better than todays performance so let’s just get behind the team and move forward. Today was just a bad day at the office.

  66. @Goonergerry,
    it doesn’t make you an AAA, you mnow its fun everynew one come here and say that same semtance.
    anyway just to defy you logic, when you have 5 players on yellow, and they are as you say at us, then our players will think twicr before goimg to the ball, which gives them the advanatge. Still its not our defending which was bad, its our possession/attack, we should have controlled the ball more. BTW our best players (Sanchez and Cazorla) were either out or not playing well.

  67. Let’s be honest here. The only reason for the loss was the ref, pure and simple. Yes, we lost the midfield, but that was because of obviously dishonest refereeing. Spurs won the midfield because they could foul Arsenal at will; Arsenal lost the midfield because they were not permitted to retaliate. No issue about “strength” or “steel” or desire”–that’s a load of crap. The real issue is that one team was permitted to use its strength whilst the other was not.

  68. Atkinson without doubt is a cheat. If the referring had been fair, we would have won because spuds would have had their thugs red carded. It hurts to lose but worse if the loss was due to PGMO cheating.
    And here come the sewer rats and their aaa leeches.

  69. I lost track of how many times Ozil (for example) was pulled back off the ball with two hands (ie, a foul) and lost possession–down to refereeing. I lost track of how many times Giroud was held down whilst challenging for a header (ie, a foul) and lost possession. I lost track of how many times Cazorla and Ramsey were tackled by two players, one of whom kicked or held them (ie, a foul) whilst the other gained the ball. The midfield issue cannot possibly be discussed in absence of the refereeing issue.

  70. Our midfield was poor, but the ref signalled his intentions at an early stage. We would have had a player sent off if we tried to match them physically in MF.

  71. El Gringo,

    And I lost track of how man. Matches this happened and we are still being told they are not a cheat, and we should stop blaming them (PGMOL)

  72. @El Gringo I agree but our midfield were bad irrespective of the ref. When Rosicky came on things changed so we have to accept some of the blame on this. Santi had a bad game and we let it continue for longer than perhaps we should. If the Ox or Wilts were fit then things would have been different.

  73. Agree 5th gen Gooner, still we could have defended better had the ref been more fair, thus we could have maintained the win or the draw at least. So yes our poor performance we take a blame, the result, the ref had a hand.

  74. I’m not saying the midfield were great…they were. However, I am saying that their ball-retention stats would have been a lot higher had the referee evenly enforced the laws of the game…in other words, with fair refereeing, the midfield would have been better. Probably not great, since there were too many stray passes and loose touches, but at least better.

    Add in the fact that Rose should have been off (repeated infringement, kicking the ball at Welbeck, stomping on Giroud’s leg, which could have been a straight red), Lamela should have been carded (elbowing Monreal in the face), and Bentaleb should have been off late on (he should have been booked for kicking Ramsey in the chest, so his booking should have been his second booking), there’s a highly likelihood that fair refereeing would have altered the result.

  75. Spurs are heaven, I’m sure the DVD is in production. The ref did indeed swing the game in their favor, this ref is particularly cuntish towards us, fuck him abd his gene pool.

  76. The refereeing in that game was absolutely shocking! How can you relieve pressure or battle for the ball when every ‘foul’ is called against you. As usual the media gloss over the either biased or inept performance. We weren’t great but you shouldn’t have to be great all the time to get something out of a game, a level playing field will do!

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