By Billy the Dog McGraw
OK, everyone’s dead, semi-dead or deadbeat so we are on the edge of using the 9 year old youth team for the match against the Woobooloos. Here’s one line up – the one that Tony tried out on an unsuspecting public the other day…
Sagna Squillaci Koscielny Clichy
Chamakh Arshavin Vela
But what you could do is make it look like this – the patented all singing all dancing, vibrant and exciting, Billy the Dog version…
Sagna Squillaci Koscielny Clichy
OK it looks odd, but it is 11 players and it sort of works as a 4-1-2-1-2 formation (copyright Billy the Dog).
The point of it is that the back four and Song do their usual stuff. In front Denilson does his interception business, which this site has always rated and praised despite all the gibberish spoken about the player by some. Now, put Wilshere next to him and you have something extraordinarily powerful, mopping, picking, probing, passing, intercepting, distributing and other exciting stuff.
Also, notice the way Denilson went and had a few 25 yard pot shots against the Very Tiny Totts, and notice the way Wilshere held back most of the time and occasionally came forward.
Put those two together and you have got a couple of players who could be here, there, everywhere, anywhere, nowhere – enough to scare the whatnots off the oohjar, as it were (and to use the technical chitchat).
Moving on, Nasri loves playing in the middle, and is clearly bubbling with life just now, so put him in the middle, and let him feed the front two, rather like Bergkamp, or maybe more like Zidane. Well, like someone anyway.
Which puts on the bench (which, as you may know, having been reading earlier reports here, was quite possibly made by Mr Adebayor)
Fabianski, Mannone, Vela, Djourou, Lansbury, Emmanuel-Thomas, Diaby
I have the luxury of that jolly little season card thing and that means I have seen 16 goals so far up the right end, and one down the other end. More of the same I suggest, and a stroll in the park (although you can get 16-1 on a Wobbley victory if you doubt my word).
Looking at the history for a moment, the results at Highbury and Ems-ville against the team from the edge of the M5 are played 61, won 36, drawn 14, lost 11, scored 129, let in 70. Albion last won at the Arsenal in 1458 in the Midlands-South Enclosures Cup Semi-Final when they beat us by four heffers to a lamb. Rioting broke out, and Britain declared independence from Belgium.
So far the Baguettes, as they like to be known, have done thus…
- Chelsea 0-6
- Sunderland 1-0
- Leyton 2-0 (Cuppy wuppy)
- Liverpool 0-1
- Tinies 1-1
- Birmingham 3-1
- Man City 2-1 (Copa del Thing)
So in the league it is two away games, and two defeats (KGB in Fulham and Liverpoodle). In fact if we add in their last period in the EPL they have lost 14 and drawn four of their last 18 games in the league.
The key to everything is the attitude of the Baguettes. Do they park the bus, do rotational fouling, throw in rotational time-wasting, or do they Shawcross.
So far they have picked up 10 yellows which is a bit heavy, but Roberto di Mat who is their manager these days says, “The referee has to be strong and conduct the game in a fair manner, where no players get injured. He needs to protect the players. English football is about physicality and tackles. Everyone loves that – but it needs to be fair. No-one wants to see players getting injured and breaking legs.”
Which seems fair enough. Their leading threat is a man whose name I can’t remember who has scored twice.
And therefore, we come inevitably to the rather exciting issue of the result. We will score. And we will score again. Then we will score. At this point the ref, (who is the youngest fourth official in the EPL, the youngest referee at Wembley and youngest referee in the EPL, and who has give 18 yellow cards and three red cards in six games) will send himself off for being far too silly. After that we will score. Then Carlos Vela will come on and score.
Eventually with 90 seconds left Jay Emmanuel Thomas will come on and score four goals in three minutes.
Match of the Day will say that we were lucky, and that the thinness of our squad must be a worry, and that we were distracted by the financial results on Friday. They will fail to show the JET goals because of a technical error. The presenters will grin.
The Marchioness of Rutland will present the prizes.
That’s about it. There’s an AISA committee meeting before the game, and so I am leaving early and thus this is all you are getting. And by the way, if you are not a member of the Arsenal Independent Supporters Association you should be so join now or I shall be very annoyed. But while whiling away the hours, why not see the new wonderful FACEBOOK page that Phil Gregory has built for us. Go to Facebook and search for Untold Arsenal, or if you are a luddite like me diddley squiddle along here
Love and kisses
PS: I seem to have finished and only got to 750 words and Tony is keen that all articles should be 1000 words long. What to do? We could sing a song I suppose.
Are you Tottenham, Are you Tottenham, Are you Tottenham in disguise?
Are you Tottenham in Disguise?”
- Why is it becoming so difficult to find a sponsor for new football stadium?
- Corruption flares up again in Italy, as Premier League figures don’t look too clever
- How much does a club have to spend on transfers to get a trophy?
- Does the team that is top after 14 games usually go on to win the league?
- How the Taliban infiltrated the World Cup and used it to maintain its war on women