By Tony Attwood
What would you change about Arsenal? Since, as you know, I am a devotee of the mighty Lord Wenger, not much. And it is not normally a question I would even contemplate. But this advert from Football Manager 2011 turned up and it was full of the WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOUR CLUB thing.
Their article rather mirrored the last piece by the gracious and eternally eternal Bogus Cheese, in that it was suggesting that if one supported the IOU then one would dismiss the troublesome potato man and bring in some kiddies.
Except, oh dear, Man IOU don’t have much of a youth policy since the youth academy was turned into a shopping mall courtesy of the owners.
Anyway it seems that the whole Football Manager thing involves making changes to one’s own club and then seeing how you get on, and for Mirror Football fans it can all be done in advance. Indeed the announcement says that Mirror Football readers will have access to the game before everyone else on Thursday 21st October which must be rather jolly. Apparently within this context www.mirrorfootball.co.uk has some sort of deep meaning.
But anyway what would I change? Well, first off, I would get the club to improve its “move your season ticket” facility since then I would be able to get away from the moron who sits behind me and slags off Bendtner all the time. I think for his age the young man is brilliant, and what we want to do is keep him, not complain about him.
Next up I would ensure that the “remove the top from your water bottle” auto reaction among the catering staff is brought permanently to an end. We debated this at an AISA meeting recently, and it seems that 99% of people who buy water in the ground bring their own bottle tops anyway, so the whole policy, apart from being insulting is also rather pointless.
For the game against the Time Wasting Killers from the midlands they seem to have stopped this policy, so that’s good.
Oh and I would set up a team in the third division of the Scottish league, and another one in the Conference south (or failing that Belgium) so we could watch the reserves play competitive matches.
So it seems that with Football Manager 2011, you can play out these scenarios although I am not sure about the water bottle business. Nor about removing the guy a few rows behind me. But hey, if you can with Football Manager even better, I’ll buy one. Must ask Bogus about that, she probably knows. (Actually she wants cheddar on sale in the ground, and I am not sure if that is in Football Manager.)
What else? Well it seems there is Mirror Football Goals – A free Facebook fantasy 5-a-side football game in association with Renault. Pick your team, set up your mini-league and invite your mates at: www.mirror.co.uk/goals
Now here’s an interesting bit. If I include these images I get a free ham sandwich.
Tell you what I would also like to change – midweek league matches, because Jane can’t get to those. That’s a pain. And matches played when it is very cold, or snowing (I missed one home game last season because of the snow. They shut these railway lines down in a trice in the midlands. Any excuse. I think Midland Mainline is run by a load of junkies in Nottingham, but perhaps that is another story).
The problem is they just appear to be blobs to me, but maybe they’ll all come out in the wash.
Is that all right guys? Do I get the $25,000 now?
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