Wolverhampton Kickstop v you, me, and the rest

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By Tony Attwood

This little piece is written on Tuesday night, and left for my co-editor Walter to publish at an appropriate moment.

I can’t beat his 2593 mile round trip from Antwerp to the Ems, but I am travelling from my home in Northamptonshire to a conference centre that purports to be in the middle of Sherwood Forest, where I shall deliver a lecture on stuff, and how to do it, before partaking of a lunch, having a swim (if I can) and then driving from the green and pleasant, to the Black Country ready for the game against some team or other.

Black country indeed. Not my favourite part of the world – although all the museums in Ironbridge and up and down the area that celebrate the launch of the industrial revolution are worth a look, if you haven’t been there before.  It is quite something to think the whole industrial thing, with the railways, the roller coasters, the rain, all that, it all started in these few towns.  Apparently they invented coal there.

But if one is a supporter, one supporters and my 9835 mile round trip is nothing.  I shall be there.  Doing my bit, and probably getting rather wet.

Last time at Wolverhampton Kickstop I sat right at one end of their away stand (they are very nice in that they give the away support the whole of one side of the pitch – or at least they have done in the past).  That is if there is enough away support.  I imagine they put the Tiny Totts half way up a pylon.

Wolverhampton Kickstop have their own song which the man on the loud hailer encourages them all to sing.  It is to the tune of Hi Ho Silver Lining, only they change the words “Silver Lining” to “Wolverhampton”.  Pretty damn clever that!  You don’t get to invent the industrial revolution unless you have that sort of brain power.

So, what will we get?  Your guess is as good as mine. Good players don’t become bad players over night, when the chips are down someone ought to pick them up, at the end of the day it gets dark, on the other hand I have four fingers and a thumb.  (Sorry Walter, that’s what us native English speakers call “meaningless gibberish” – just ignore it).

I asked Phil Gregory to write this column, given that he is normally more coherent than I am, but he claims the university is working him too hard and he doesn’t have a moment to call his own.  (Now that’s a new one on me – a student who is working!  Have you ever heard of such a thing?  I certainly haven’t. None of my students ever did – I must toddle over to his university and find out how it goes).

So I don’t have the usual Untold source of who’s who and what’s what in the teams.  According to the AFC web site today Diaby, Vermaelen, Gibbs, Ramsey, Almunia and Frimpong are all at the chemists, but the rest of them are fit.  We shall see.

Here’s a line up then…


Sagna, Squillaci, Djourou, Clichy (Eboue)

Song, Wilshere (Denilson, Eastmond)

Cesc (Nasri)

Walcott, Chamakh, Arshavin (Bendtner, Van Persie, Rosicky, Vela)

Unless the Lord Wenger does something extraordinary and puts JET and Lansbury in the mixer, the crew must be selected from that lot, but who, what, how, where, when, whether, weather, waterproofs, Wensleydale, and Good King Wenceslas . I have no idea.

In fact I have no idea.

So no change there.

PS: if you get to see it on a TV feed, I’m the guy in the hat.


The Xmas present for the fan with a brain: Making the Arsenal: available from Amazon.co.uk but for a signed copy dedicated to whoever you want just order from the publishers (follow the link) and add details of the dedication wanted to your order.

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32 Replies to “Wolverhampton Kickstop v you, me, and the rest”

  1. I found this a very appropriate moment.

    A match against the team that featured in my first ever live Arsenal game at Highbury over 30 years ago. I feel some good old memories coming back.

  2. Just read the latest hot news off the press, Arsene Wenger has just noticed we seem to have a problem penetrating teams with a defensive wall, well i never, i never would have known that, apparently while he was sitting in his French hotel room, after being issued with a red card for not penetrating, from one of his close friends, an idea, or new statagy, came into his mind,how to get through all those closed legs,well apparently the answer will be let out during the game tonight, sounds like it must have worked for Arsene, lets hope it works for us, if it does i might try it tonight myself.

  3. hey guys are u on fantasy premier league(official site)???if so give me the source code
    bit** 1 ars 3

  4. It has to be good night, we deserved it. And btw I believe Arshavin will be there, and he is kind of lucky charm obviously. No matter does he play good or bad (though I think he always play good just we got used to see him scoring) we are wining side.

    Walter, my friend, first game I watched was against Newcastle and I was thinking the same as you. Lets hope tonight you ll be more lucky than me:)

  5. Would it be too much to ask for a game that doesn’t age me 5 years?
    Ref gave wolves everything and it was only a matter of time before Cesc took matters into his own hands.
    Fabianski was very resolute as was the defence. Too many shots blocked to count but Chamakh is a legend!!
    Hasta La Vista Wolverhampton wankers.

  6. I agree – Wolves had all the decisions and where did 4 minutes come from?!?!

    Mark Halsey is blind, Kevin Friend is a tosser… Still – the right result was got at the end.

    To the tune of ‘return of the mack’:

    Ma-ro-uane Chamakh [cos he said he’d score a goal for me]
    Ma-ro-uane Chamakh [he’ll score two, he’ll score two-or threee].
    Ma-ro-uane Chamakh [scoring goals all o-ver the world]
    Ma-ro-uane Chamakh [oh my god he came on a free!]

  7. Fabianski did alright too – that last save and the distribution for the goal! Fantastic performance!

  8. Let say it.
    Let it roll out of the mouth slowly.
    Man of the match:
    Lukas Fabianski!!
    He kept us in the game and even originated the pass that led to the 2nd goal…
    What a way to respond to the error of Sunday..
    What a way to ensure those who were already mouthing “flapinanki” shut up!!! I doubt if any world class goalkeeper would have performed better than he did.

  9. Yes I must say that Fabianski was magnificent when I managed to get a stream. I missed the first goal from Chamakh live but then again: we won and showed character.

    Must see the game again to make my ref review. Seen some good things but also some very bad things. (Tackle on Arshavin by that captain criminal…..

  10. Oh and how unbiased the MOTD gang are once again. The tackle from Cesc is shown some 37 times from all angles.
    The assault from Henry on Arshavin was not even shown. But I guess this is just a coincidence. yeah, my ass…..

  11. Oh and I typed my last reaction even before that Hansen fool opened his mouth. Where can I throw up….?

  12. I was thinking the same Walter, but then that’s exactly what I expected to happen – the Cesc tackle is highlighted, the Henry tackle is swept under the carpet.

    That little goblin Hunt also stood on Song’s foot, obviously not by accident, as Song slid in to take the ball from him. It could have done serious damage to Song’s ankle.

  13. I will leave it for my ref review.
    But really is this the same Hansen that told it was not a red card a few weeks back when Chamakh was tackled two footed from behind at the touchline? This was a one foot tackle which went wrong and I completely agree with the yellow card. But they are just trying to make something of it to try to hurt us. And Dixon how much do they pay you to sing their tune? I hope it’s enough to make you feel good. Why don’t you show some balls and have the guts to disagree with mr. Hansen knows nothing about the rules.

  14. I have a question with fabianski I am always on and off the fence with his performances, Is it fair to say we are seeing more clean sheets with him goals these days ?

    I have no stats but was wondering ?

  15. Walter

    The question you should ask is this:

    What is it that Arsenal enjoy that Hansen doesn’t?

    1. Financial strength.
    2. A magnificent new stadium with high matchday receipts.
    3. A pipeline of young players.
    4. A be human, decent people at all costs policy, not win at all costs policy.

    There may be more to it than that too. I don’t know. Maybe fundamental branchpoint opinions about how football should go the next 20 years.

    Worth thinking about before getting personal I think…….

  16. I think henry and cesc both deserve a red card. Both made ruthless challenges and both the victims were lucky not to get their legs broken.

  17. If a man(Hansen) is talking foolish (and not just last night but most of the time) I think I can call him a fool.

  18. Walter, I have not seen MOTD yet (I was at the match). Hansen is a fool, that’s a Shay. How many times did they really re-run the Cesc tackle? I only ask because I watched SkySports News between 10-11 and it wasn’t even mentioned

  19. Just a couple of late notes from the game. The first goal was our fastest ever in the EPL, and the feeling in the crowd was that Fabianski was our man of the match.

    There’s also a very strange Fabianski chant –

    Fabianski built my house, built my house, built my house
    Fabianski build my house, we hate Tottenham

    Although I may not have quite got that right.

  20. Hm maybe is, but cant be more strange than “T…ham m are the greatest team the world has ever seen”. At last no one will look at you as that you are another employee of Ministry of silly walks.

  21. Tony – any thoughts on a piece covering Spurs accounts? I love the way the media are reporting this. The Telegraph didnt even mention the fact that Spurs lost 6.6m last year. They just talked about increased revenue, blah, blah, blah, and didnt even the fact that Spurs MADE A LOSS!!!!! Hilarious. The mass media are still trying their hardest to propogate the myth that spending big money on transfers is the only way to go.

  22. Walter

    You are free to call Hansen a fool until the cows come home.

    And he is free to continue portraying Arsenal as he does until the cows come home.

    What do you want: to call him a fool or to get him to change?

    I don’t think a bit of internet verbals will cause him to run off crying to mummy. Anyone who was in the dressing room with Souness and Thompson’s a bit tougher than that……….

  23. In fact I wouldn’t want Hansen to change. Nothing better than the occasional open mouth from my part when I hear him talk rubbish again. In fact please stay as you are Hansen. I kind of like it and I kind of expect you to stay like this.

    In a way it is great English comedy. He sits there thinking the whole world is waiting for him to give his opinion and to accept his wisdom as the truth. And in fact we are just waiting for him to have it wrong completely once again and to have a laugh or have a rant.

    Does anyone know where Hansen was excactly on the Liverpool pitch on May 26, 1989? 😉 I think its funny that he still isn’t over it yet.

  24. Well I don’t know where he was during bigger part of game ….but I think I sow him after final whistle crying and screaming “MOMMYYYYY”

  25. It took me a while to read this article as I started to have memories from my childhood and visiting Antwerp (it was great) oh it had nothing to do with football tho but still. Should go there again.
    Anywas to the article it was really good (as always) but I have to say I have noticed that whenever Tomas Rosicky is mentioned as starter in previews he will be on bench and other way around, so keep him on bench in previews.
    It seems that Lee Dixon said sorry to Arsene about not showing Henry tackle http://www.twitlonger.com/show/6tjiak (believe you want)

    Other news Wojciech Szczesny tweeted that he did sing new contract 😉

  26. Interesting thing about Szczesny. Kid is really good one, but I don’t know is he really aware how many goalkeepers play regular football in first league at his age. If he believe that grass is greener over the fence, I see no problem in it. But I don’t think he is such blind.

  27. ‘In fact I wouldn’t want Hansen to change. Nothing better than the occasional open mouth from my part when I hear him talk rubbish again. In fact please stay as you are Hansen. I kind of like it and I kind of expect you to stay like this.

    In a way it is great English comedy. He sits there thinking the whole world is waiting for him to give his opinion and to accept his wisdom as the truth. And in fact we are just waiting for him to have it wrong completely once again and to have a laugh or have a rant.’

    Walter, a lot of your opinions are flat rubbish. You’re entitled to express them. You wrote a total lot of crap about the Chelsea game, using totally meaningless statistics to try and explain Koscielny and Chamakh missing three clear chances, which was the one and only reason why we lost. Wenger’s obsessed with statistics instead of giving his players a right good bollocking a bit more often. Stats are no substitute for holding your players to account fairly.

    You get to keep writing on this site…….but 50% of what you write is drivel. The other 50% is pretty Ok. Same with Hansen in my opinion…..

    ‘Does anyone know where Hansen was excactly on the Liverpool pitch on May 26, 1989? I think its funny that he still isn’t over it yet.’

    One of things I don’t like about you Walter is that you, a Belgian, who didn’t play or referee in this country, don’t live in this country, think that you are a person who should hold English football in judgement. Why are you so arrogant in that way? Because you’re one of Gazidis’ stooges to break the hold of English people on English football? Or just because you’re an opinionated person who got lucky getting an internet column to write twice a week?

    Hansen was part of the most successful club in English history, won more trophies than anyone else bar Giggs I suspect and so he knows how to build a dominant force. You don’t. His club were skilful, but they weren’t technically dominant. They were mentally dominant, their crowd was fantastic and they had Dalglish for 10 years. So he can see that Arsenal aren’t mentally tough enough to do it yet. They won 4 European Cups, 4 League Cups, 11 titles and a few FA Cups to boot. And you crow about the one night Arsenal toppled them. Arsenal deserved their title that year. The way they got it was dramatic. But you don’t turn around and say Liverpool 1975 – 1990 were crap until Arsenal do better.

    Hansen’s job is to be opinionated. So he is. Lee Dixon puts in his oar for Arsenal and City. Martin Keown does likewise.

    I don’t agree with a lot that he says but I absolutely respect his track record. I might hold him to account by what he says but I don’t trash his playing career.

    You might do well to learn some respect yourself, you arrogant Belgian twat…………

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