Untold Arsenal: Supporting the club, the manager and the team
"I believe the target of anything in life should be to do it so well that it becomes an art." A Wenger
By Walter Broeckx Maybe some will call me paranoid. That could well be the case, but this year’s fixture list is a bit strange to say the least. To play your major rivals for the first four places in four consecutive matches is something we never have witnessed before. In fact I doubt that it …
Read More “Being paranoid helps when supporting the Arsenal”
By Walter Broeckx So we lost against Chelsea. This is no fun but we just have to accept it. This is football and in football you can win and you can lose a game. In fact all the statistics were against us. So far this season when we lose a game we lose the next …
Read More “If you think it is all doom and gloom, just don’t read this”
By Phil Gregory Our Arsenal travel over to Stamford Bridge looking to put a disappointing home defeat behind them. Any trip to Chelsea is always a tricky affair to negotiate, but on the back of the United defeat many would no doubt prefer an easier tie to allow confidence to be rebuilt. The cards however, …
By Phil Gregory A crunch tie for Arsenal’s title hopes looms in the form of Manchester United’s visit to the Emirates. The Mancunians (not to mention the hordes from Cornwall – ed) will be no doubt buoyed from Wayne Rooney’s late winner in a heated Manchester derby, sending thgem into the final. Alex Ferguson’s side …
Read More “Well what do you know? It’s us against that other lot.”
I have been interested of late at the way the Anti-Arsenal brigade has been developing its tactics. In the olden days (ie last year) they would mostly spend their time saying that our players were all leaving just like Flamini and Hleb before them. Cesc was going to Barca and the world would end. Now …
Read More “How Wenger Used the Doom and Gloomers to his advantage”
By Walter Broeckx I don’t like the ritual from Delap when he is going to take a throw-in. On Sunday I watched the game and I have timed how much time it takes to get the ball back in play when Stoke City can take a throw and they let Delap do it. You have …
Read More ““A towel has immense psychological value” (Douglas Adams)*”
Today’s game is in the FA Cup, or Facup as it is known in the Latin tongue which still dominates the region where Stoke play. As with all nouns in Latin the word “facup” can be conjugated and it is vital to be able to do this properly if wishing to discourse with the locals …
Read More “Stoke is not in Stoke (and the first ever football blog to try a joke in Latin)”
To begin a few days ago. Billy the Dog predicted on this very site that Bolton would score first and the goal would be scored with the left foot. I haven’t seen the TV of the game, but from where I sat, it looked pretty much like that. Now I admit that this was a …
Read More “Perfectly perfect: Bolton, Arsenal, the crowd, Billy the Dog”
Special advanced notice: although much of the commentary consists of mindless gibberish there is a bit of serious stuff part way through, which is all true. You have to guess which bit it is. Part the First: The Evil Empire Bolton Wanderers, known as Notlob, make the Evil Empire look like a troupe of ballet …
Read More “How to speak Notlobian and what a man in the Isle of Man has to do with this match”
Billy the Dog was not quite in the best of moods or the finest of fettle when I met him on the allotment to discuss the game against the almighty Notlob in the Land of the Fabled Beast. I started by asking the question everyone asks, “Is there life in Bolton?” “It doesn’t really matter,” …
Read More “Life in Bolton, and other elements of chaos theory”
I have enjoyed many an Arsenal game, but this one had one moment which was utterly wonderful. Rosicky had scored in front of us, the final whistle had gone, and we stood to leave block 99. I got to the stairway and as is my wont, allowed others to pass before Jane and I could …
Read More “My greatest ever Arsenal game: Arsenal 2 Everton 2”
Well, hi-de-diddley-do there. Phil’s doing exams, so I’m doing the predictions and stuff. Right, of we go… High-flying Everton travel to the Emirates aiming to continue their fantastic run in the league. (How am I doing so far?) The Gunners dropped out of the title race when they slumped to a 3-0 home defeat to …
Read More “Arsenal v Everton preview unlike any other Arsenal Everton preview. Honest.”
By Walter Broeckx The starting line up was Almunia, Sagna, Gallas, Vermaelen, Traore, Denilson, Diaby, Ramsey, Nasri, Arshavin and Eduardo. Bolton kick off and launch a rocket at the Arsenal goal. The ball hits Almunia (who is still waving at the crowd behind his goal) on the back of his head and it goes out …
Warning: contains occasional insanity, multiple insults, ephemeral nursery rhymes and mild fantasy. So, here I am on Wednesday morn, with three thoughts in my head – which is an improvement of the one that normally resides there. Thought one: will the game go ahead? If it does the 27.5 Notlob supporters who normally travel out …
Read More “Arsenal v Notlob Srerednaw: the league match of the decade”
By Walter Broeckx Great was my expectation when I saw the names of Fran Merida and Jack Wilshere on the team sheet. I have seen them play a few games in the Carling Cup, the Emirates Cup, in the reserves and even in the Champions League. When they play in the Emirates cup, which after …
Read More “This was the best thing that could have happened to Fran and Jack.”
There were unprecedented scenes tonight at Untold Towers, the rural enclave which houses Untold Arsenal. As editors and copywriters gathered on the 42nd floor and watched in amazement a crowd of over 400 bookmakers, bookies runners and a couple of burger sellers attacked the building with sticks, staves and a centurian tank. At first it …
Read More “Bookmakers attack Untold Towers after we make another perfect Arsenal prediction.”
Warning: contains dead bodies, mild peril, partial nudity, swearing, irony and occasional violence. “West Ham are in dire straits,” said Billy the Dog, as I approached the allotment and offered him a pint of sweet sherry. “That Mark Knoffler has lost it, the new glacier tax is hitting them hard, and their bid to host …
Read More “West Ham v Arsenal. Score, teams, and what happens afterwards”
Below is an article by Walter Broeckx, but before that, a quick editorial, as it were… I am still not sure if the correspondence following the post on 31 December was the funniest thing or the saddest thing I’ve ever seen on this site. Even after the top of the article was changed to make …
By Billy the Dog McGraw, Enfield Allotments, Middlesex. I have rarely seen my old mate Tony Attwood as close to tears as he was when he approached me this morning on the allotment. I was just nattering to that Dennis Bergkamp who grows carrots next to my plot, when Tony rushed up. “They’re all arguing …
Prologue from the Editor: I regret to say that a campaign has been launched by some of the lesser clubs in the league against our revealing the score before the matches happen. They speak of lower crowds than might be expected if the result were not known, and demoralised players who realise they have no …
Read More “Portsmouth away: the teams, the details, the result but this time not the score.”
By Walter Broeckx You could say that the game against Villa started on December 24 at 4pm. It was the moment the president of our fan club phoned me to say that our member that makes the bookings on the Eurostar trains received the message that our booking had been cancelled. It was a bit …
Untold predicted Arsenal 2 Villa 1, and we were wrong. I am really sorry, I apologise unreservedly. I have let you, faithful reader, down. And I have done it at a time of peace and goodwill. It is a terrible lapse. I can’t imagine how we got it oh so wrong. It will never happen …
Read More “Arsenal 9 Villa 2, and a deep and sincere apology”
Phil Gregory got the score against Hull absolutely right, following on the overwhelmingly brilliant prediction here for the Liverpool game. Indeed we also got the Burnley match absolutely right apart from the score and the result. So here we go again with Phil’s preview and prediction. Oh and don’t forget the excitingly stunning advertisement for …
As I sometimes get the remark that we only talk about the ref after a defeat, I will try to change this for once. The reason is 3 games in a week and all three with some debatable decisions. Some went our way, others not. So let’s go to the game at Anfield. The first …
Redknapp to be charged with defrauding Revenue and Customs Untold Arsenal predicts EXACTLY the right score yet again!!! Oh where to begin? The is the second Tottenham manager in recent history to have had a little contretemps with the authorities while holding that esteemed office. In 1987 David Pleat was cautioned concerning kerb crawling (the …
Read More “Arry charged with tax evasion; Untold predicts the exact score YET AGAIN”
