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Snooping Around Chelsea Blogs

Snooping Around Chelsea Blogs

By Sammy The Snake

Luiz; 25 Million Pounds

Torres; 50 Million Pounds

The look on Cole’s face after getting knocked out of FA Cup: Priceless!

It’s a truly blue world at Chelsea these days. And why not?! They are 5th in the league, 12 points behind the current leaders (soon to be displaced, of course!) with only 1.73 points per game. They got kicked out of Carling Cup, and have just removed themselves out of contention for the FA Cup. Their only hope, and it is a really very slim hope, is the Champions League. If football history tells us anything, it’s that teams languishing in mid table generally don’t with the CL.

But wait a minute, Mr. Carlo has another idea when he says “The season is not finished yet. It could be the best season. Maybe it could be the worst. I don’t know”. Now let’s analyse the words of this true genius:

“The season is not finished yet”: Wow! Carlo, you’ve got a calendar on your desk!! You da man! Kick ‘em where it hurts…

“It could be the best season”: Oooohhh! How do you figure? Maybe, just maybe, the FA & UEFA will take pity on Chelski, and disqualify all the teams in the world in the next 6 weeks, and crown you the champions of England, Europe and even South America. What are you smokin’ mate?

“Maybe it could be the worst season”: You’re starting to make sense now!

“I don’t know”: Acknowledging that you’re clueless won’t get you very far (far enough till the gates at Stamford Bridge though!).

The award winning Chelsea Blog, is all doom and gloom, so I will give you bits and pieces of the stuff they’re saying in different articles:

“The romance of the FA Cup turned into more of a messy break-up for us yesterday… Words fail me… Yesterday’s game showed us a few things: Firstly, we need to kill games off but we knew that already, second, we’re absolutely shite at penalty shoot-outs, but again that wasn’t exactly news to us. It showed us something about Everton we might not already have known though – they’re a bunch of snidey fuckers.” (You’re not just sh!t, you’re bad losers too!)

They are crying over Heitinga disturbing Cole’s “focus” before his penalty miss! (And I thought Cole usually sends pictures of his “focus” area to every girl he meets…!). Anyway, they go on with these lovely words:

“Our players spent the best part of the game having lumps kicked out of them (not that Dowd appeared to notice)… once it gets to a penalty shoot-out, it’s a straight forward battle of wills without the gamesmanship. “

Come on, you lost fair and square, and you’re doing it regularly these days. Stop being a cry baby. So do they think Carlo can turn it around?

No desire, no passion, no motivation, no imagination and no bloody shots on target!…Is it any wonder we’re all walking about under a black cloud then?…I’m really not one of those ‘sack the manager’ supporters… Having said that, I do have my concerns about Carlo Ancelotti’s abilities to manage Chelsea. He just doesn’t seem to have any real connection with Chelsea at all – sort of like Scolari really.”

Nobody says they are the “sack the manager” type, but all of them eventually come down to saying “sack the manager”. You’re the type, and you’re no different!

This place is so depressed, I’m reaching out for my box of Prozac again!

Let’s hope Talk Chelsea is a bit more optimistic: “Shoot out woe for abysmal Chelsea” (No, no! Name calling won’t get you anywhere). While I guess you know where this is going, let’s see what the comments section has to offer:

“Definately a crisis now (If it was’nt already). There is a real lack of belief at the Bridge and one I haven’t seen for several years.  Ancelotti needs to decide on either Torres or Drogba till the end of the year, both can’t play in the same team and play to the strikers strength. You get the feeling that this is Drogba and Ancelotti’s last season” (It’s their spelling, not mine!)

Chelseadaft are still romanticizing about Mourinho retuning to Chelsea! And they quote Carlo saying “”I have never quit… I don’t have to consider my position… It is the owner that has to consider my position…”, and they try to spin it by saying:

“Carlo is a good man, a good manager and a proud man… but then it has fallen apart… I expect Chelsea to shake off this mini slump”

Excuse me?!!! Did I read mini slump? Where you born yesterday? This is a major catastrophe. Billionaires don’t like losing, especially after forking out 75 Million Pounds on 2 (yes, just 2) players. So you see this as just a mini slump, eh? And Stalin has been resting a bit, and will be back to run Russia soon… Right!?!

Our very own Schz-Man put it best when he tweeted:

“Is it a bird? It it an aeroplane? No, it’s just Ashley throwing Chelsea out of the FA Cup :)”

You gotta love the boy! He’s not only a great ‘keeper at his tender age, he’s a good talker too!

See you all at Wembley Stadium on Sunday, if I can get an air ticket, hotel and a ticket for the game… Otherwise, see you through the TV! But wherever you are, keep shouting till we lift the trophy on Sunday!

Sammy The Snake

Arsenal on Twitter @UntoldArsenal

Untold Arsenal on Facebook here

Latest: Football refs – are they biased or incompetent?


21 comments to Snooping Around Chelsea Blogs

  • ak47

    my cousin is a cheski fan, aint heard of him for a while. work must be busy. :-S

  • Andrei

    But we do need Chelsea to pick up some steam. I would love to see them get all 6 points against MU.

  • Shard

    I agree with Andrei.. It was hilarious to see them disintegrate. But they need to be up for at least 2 more matches this season. And no… I don’t mean Copenhagen..

  • walter

    I just hope chelsea come back to live again next week. 😉

  • oddy nwannem

    Wow!!! Dat was off d hook. I just hope no Cheski fan is reading this. Anyway,I just need Cheski to beat Man.U for me b/4 disintegrating.

  • gooner80

    CANT RELY ON CHELSEA ONE BIT, hopefully someone will remind them that they need fourth spot.

    Since the chavs have won the lottery I have heard and seen so many of them coming out of the woodwork they are like herpes YOU just cant get rid of them

  • RedGooner

    I dont know but Everton lately with the help of the Ref each week are playinghalf decent football.

    We struggled against them and so did Chelsea. I dont know what Walter thought of the Hettinga shoulder barge on Cole just before he took his penalty but I would have sent him off. I thought it was a disgrace and wouldnt like to see some fuck from Birmingham doing it to us in CC final on sunday.

    Just because its chelsea doesnt make it right. Fulham beat Spurs 4-0 in the cup and then held Chelsea to a 0-0 ….sometimes it depends when in the season you are playing these teams they usualy are on a good or bad run and catching them at the right time is important.

    I hope they pick themselves back up beat ManUtd and Knock the Sp*rs back out of the champs league.

  • WalterBroeckx

    I haven’t seen it to be honest Redgooner. But this is an interesting thing you tell me. Does anyone have a link to some images of this?

  • Paul C.

    Well, for all Chelsea’s problems, Spurs collapsing may make it easy for them to still qualify for the CL.

    The difference between Arsene Wenger and Harry Redknapp (among many):

    Whenever Arsene Wenger is asked about his team he backs them in public. “We can win the League”, “We can qualify” etc etc. He takes stick from a lot of fans for it (both Arsenal fans and opposing fans), but he would never, ever say “I dont think my players can do it”. He ALWAYS backs his team. Even when we were in financial difficulties and had a young, thin squad he still started each season by saying “I believe in my players”.

    When Harry Redknapp was asked if Spurs would qualify for the CL again, he said “No. It’d be a miracle if we did it….Why should we be in the Champions League? We’d never been in the Champions League before, suddenly we do it and it’s: ‘Oh well we should do it again….Look at Manchester City and Chelsea…… Why should we finish above them?” He says this the day before Spurs have a crucial away match at Blackpool, a tough place to go but by no means impossible.

    What message does that send to his players? If I played for him, I’d be fuming that he’d said that. It is always the same with Harry, he can take a team so far and then its “I need more money to go further, spend, spend, spend” and the club ends up bankrupt.

  • RedGooner

    Walter all images of and video have been banned for copy right infringement. Every web site has had them removed …One web site has everything all penalties shown as far as Hettinga scoring then is blocked from showing the shoulder barge.
    Corruption at its best,

  • Paul C.

    I personally didnt think there was anything in the shoulder barge on Cole. Heitinga didnt go out of his way to do way, he simply didnt move, neither did Cole. Cole should have either been stronger or gotten out of the way. But he wimped it. The referee was looking straight at the two of them, directly at them, and didnt do a thing. They walked into each other and Heitinga followed with the shoulder. Great stuff. It clearly psyched out Cole.

    The fact that nobody from Chelsea complained about it or made a big deal about it suggests that they know what it was as well.

    If you dont want somebody to do that to you then just avoid them. Cole could have done that easily.

  • gooner80

    whats the betting torres scores against UTD.

    I just cant help but think a ref is going to screw us hard and leave us feeling as dirty as a 25pence hooker.

    As for chelsea they just are not scoring like they did a year ago the defence is ok, they just look a shadow of the millionsof pounds spent thankfully at home they are still strong

    I think we have a better chance of liverpool taking points off UTD King Kenny knows what it means to the fan and they will do everything to stop them overhauling their 18 league titles, every liverpool fan would be routing for us to win the league.

  • Paul C.

    Gooner80 – yeah, its impossible to come to any conclusions about Chelsea on tonights performance because Copenhagen looked like they were still on winter break. They were worse than pathetic. There are a lot of non-league sides that would have beat Copenhagen on that form.

  • Sammy The Snake

    Did Heitinga shoulder Cole, or was it the other way around? Who’s to tell?

  • Brickfields Gunners

    While they did bump into each other , it did not psyche out Cashley – it was the way he placed the ball on the spot.The commentators were remarking that the ball was not well positioned and from my view the ball seemed to be in a hole ( only 3/4 of it was visible.It may have been the angle/height of the camera but it did not appear normal to me.
    Phil Neveile took a considerable time to get the ball to his desired positionand promptly scored .

  • goonerblood

    I’d be happy to see Chelsea draw both their games against Man U. That’d be enough imo to give us the premiership. I could see Liverpool overtaking Chelsea, and with Spurs losing to Blackpool, oh boy, can Liverpool take 4th? Perhaps just my overactive imagination, but it’d be justice. Torres going to Chelsea, saying it’s a big club, to play in Europe, etc. Well perhaps it will he his former club (a ‘real’ big club) that will be playing in Europe next year, and poor poor Torres, where would that leave him? I’m not a fan of Liverpool (obviously) but I’m onboard with their supporters over what’s happened lately. They are a big club, Torres is not bigger than them, and I’d prefer them as competition as Chelsea. Chelsea could drop to relegation for all I care.

    Whatever happens, Arsenal are taking the premiership, Chelsea are not playing in Europe next season.

  • AnonymousGun

    Pool overtaking Chelsea is so gonna be sweet.. And gives us ammo for the buy buy buy brigade as well 😀

    So until the end of this season.. I’m gonna pick Liverpool as my 3rd team to cheer upon. After Arsenal and Blackpool 😀

  • The Blaze

    Why Liverpool? I’d rather have Chelsea than Liverpool.

  • AnonymousGun

    1) It shows that grass is not always greener on the other side.
    2) It shows that even buying experience striker @50M doesnt equal to instant success.

  • oldgunner

    I’m with you. Torres jumped ship when Liverpool and the supporters needed him. This is one avenue that we’ve got right, bring through young players to give a sense of belonging. Too many mercenries in football. We had it with Adebayor give him the money and he wants more then leaves. I think cesc is only a couple off his 10 year testimonial! that will be intresting.