By Sir Hardly Anyone
Every now and then someone pops along and accuses Untold of “click bait” as if this is some sort of crime on the level of exterminating budgerigars, draining the River Thames to build social housing or making Northamptonshire a no go area for sheep.
But according to Wiki Clickbait is a term “describing web content that is aimed at generating online advertising revenue, especially at the expense of quality or accuracy.”
And that’s the problem for Untold – we can’t do clickbait. You see we only make any money to help pay for the extraordinarily high cost of protecting our server against attacks from people who want to steal the mega list of subscribers and against the occasional nutter who just doesn’t like what we say, by getting people to click on our adverts. And the content of the adverts is in the hands of the advertiser. Just visiting us doesn’t do any good in this regard.
Besides which only the first click from an IP address on an advert counts, so while a single click to an ad you find interesting gives us a few pennies, multiple clicks does nothing at all.
Our use of headlines is to encourage readers to get into a subject which maybe they wouldn’t if we put up dull headlines. It is done in the knowledge that if we mislead or if the article that follows is deathly dull not only does the reader wander off in five seconds (and we can measure how long each person is on the site) but he/she doesn’t come back.
I’ll tell you something else. Putting “Sir Hardly Anyone” as the author of the article is a bit of a giveaway too. It is not even my real name. My real name is Ima Tory, but I found that when I used that, everyone laughed.
Anyway, just as Christmas Eve is Father Christmas’ big and busy night, so the last Sunday is March is the big night in much of Europe since all the clock makers and watch repairers travel the continent putting all the clocks forwards one hour. I used to have to do it myself, but these days, apparently if you buy a “digital” clock, the little clockmen sneak in at night and do it. Wonderful – and this day announces the start of the pre-transfer-window-hysteria. We’re off!!!
So now we are off with the summer transfers and I can tell that you in my time away the Metro has announced a “done deal” as “Kelechi Nwakali completes Arsenal transfer signing five-year deal” for £3million. He said, ‘I won’t be able to mention the exact transfer fee but it is above £2m.’ The Metro said he is “in the mould of Patrick Vieira.”
But that is old news I hear you cry. What of today? Well scanning the bloggettas the lead story turns out to be…
Arsenal looking to hijack Man Utd move for Mourinho
This is according to SoccerLens who tell us
“Former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho [ah that Jose Mourinho!] is looking to return to management with Manchester United at the end of this season but it seems that Arsenal are trying to hijack a potential move.
“There have been reports over the last few weeks that Mourinho has a pre-contract agreement with Manchester United and has signed a three-year deal at Old Trafford…
“However, latest reports from Spain seem to believe that Arsenal are eyeing up a move for the former Chelsea manager as well. Arsene Wenger has consistently failed to deliver the title or the Champions League in over a decade and it seems that the Arsenal fans have run out of patience.”
Be careful who you wish for aaa. Meanwhile…
£85m striker breakthrough,
And who is this wonder person? It’s….. Gonzalo Higuain. Again, again, again. Same as every year.
Back in the Metro
“Arsenal given chance to sign Real Madrid star Isco in £35million deal”
The 23-year-old could be allowed to leave for between £31-35million this summer, according to MARCA a Spanish web site.
Also apparently, according once more to the hyper active Metro, Arsenal have made Brazilian wonderkid Gabriel Jesus one of their key summer transfer targets, “according to reports.” (According to my school report “what this boy does to the English language should be a criminal offence” – so that shows you how valuable reports is.)
Arsenal target Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Odion Ighalo, N’Golo Kante and more in £70m spree… but who’s most likely to sign?
Now that is quite a change for the Mail because they are acknowledging for the first time ever that not all of the transfers they postulate will actually end up at the Ems. That is quite a breakthrough. Although I should warn you that when I found the article it had already been shared 666 times.
- Pierre Emerick Aubameyang – Borussia Dortmund – £60m
- Victor Wanyama – Southampton – £20m
- Odion Ighalo – Watford – £20m
- Ben Chilwell – Leicester – £8m
- John Stones – Everton – £45m
- N’Golo Kante – Leicester – £20m
- Ryan Sessegnon – Fulham – £2m
But let us pause and look back at what was done this season… We got Cech and Elneny for money, and Iwobi was brought through to become quite a player. Last season we found Campbell and Coquelin lurking in the ranks.
So the new star could most certainly come from within. Jeff Reine Adelaide anyone?
And anyway, Arsenal Mania tell us
With Santi Cazorla and Jack Wilshere set to return from a long injury layoff after the international break…
so that’s two more players.
Oh and I forgot to tell you, Alexis is off…
With less than ten games left to play and a combination of injuries and weak support plaguing the team, Arsenal striker Alexis Sanchez is on pace for his lowest goal total in league play in over five years. Despite his struggles, Alexis Sanchez is very clearly going to be a top transfer target for teams across Europe and could very well leave in the summer. Luckily for the Gunners, a replacement appears to be on the transfer list in the form of AC Milan ace Carlos Bacca.
That comes from Caughtoffside.
And lastly NastyTackle gives the aaa some heartache.
MESUT OZIL PREPARED TO LEAVE IF ARSENAL KEEP ARSENE WENGER
So which one do they dislike the most. Ozil or Arsene? Oh hell, get rid of both of them. What has either of them ever done for us? (That comment only makes sense if you followed Monty Python’s exploits in Rome).
Meanwhile on the home page we have the full anniversary list for the day, the insult of the day, the non-football anniversary of the day and other stuff.
———–
Untold Books
Danny Karbassiyoon’s book “The Arsenal Yankee” with a foreword by Arsene Wenger will be published on Tuesday 29 March. You can buy the book…
- On line here for £14.95, plus delivery
- Or by phone on 01536 399 011 using a credit card.
- Or by Pay Pal to Jane@hamilton-house.com Don’t forget to enter the title of the book and your delivery address on the Pay Pal site, and calculate the full amount including delivery, see below.
- Or by post to Hamilton House Mailings Ltd., Earlstrees Ct., Earlstrees Rd., Corby, Northants NN17 4HH with a cheque.
- The five ways in which the media are treating us like idiots when they debate football.
- Birmingham City Ladies v Arsenal Ladies FA Cup Fifth Round – Match Report
- If Mr Wenger were to leave, who might replace him.
From the anniversary files
- 22 March 1986: After reports circulated that the board were seeking to appoint Barcelona manager Terry Venables in his place, Don Howe resigned as manager 10 years to the day after Bertie Mee. Steve Burtenshaw took over.
- 22 March 2005: The start of Jens Lehmann’s record of 853 minutes without conceding a goal in the Champions League.
You never told me Sir Hardly Anyone wasn’t your real name.
Not a rumour, but a suggestion.
Padraig Amond is the top scorer in The Conference, with 26 league and 4 cup goals.
His strike rate is a goal every 98 minutes.
He has an incredible “shot on target” rate of 75%.
He’s out of contract in the summer.He’ll be 28 in April.
So, for nothing, we COULD have the next Vardy.
Just a thought.
My thoughts & prayers with those in Brussels. I hope that the drafters of the human rights bill know how much they are responsible for. Humans are the worst form of life when they are brainwashed.
We see it in football but thankfully it has not taken lives. What does it need before it does? The choke holds & broken legs are a small step away from threatening life.
No no Sir, you are running behind. Todays rumour is about Mancini taking over…. dear oh dear…. What is wrong with these rumour fabrication people….
Well done Tory, we all know that it is just a rumour
“However, latest reports from Spain seem to believe that Arsenal are eyeing up a move for the former Chelsea manager as well. Arsene Wenger has consistently failed to deliver the title or the Champions League in over a decade and it seems that the Arsenal fans have run out of patience.”
So now it is the Arsenal fans who select the next manager is it?
@ Mick
I also like, “it seems that he Arsenal fans have run out of patience.” I had my first season ticket in 1968 and still have one. How come I’ve never been included in one of these scientific studies to find out what Arsenal fans think 🙂
Let me 1st and foremost offer my condolence greetings to Mr Walter Broeckx over the deaths of some people at the airport and at a metro station in Brussels – Belgium who were attacked by terorist attackers that have unleashed their acts of cowardice on those innocent people going about their daily business. Let the souls of the forced to depart this World rest in the Lord. Amen. And let the Lord sooth the pains of the injured ones and gives them a quick proper recovery. Amen.
Arsenal will buy, sell, extend contract deals and will not extend the contract deals of a few Gunners.
We’ve already known Arteta and Rosicky contract deals will come as a surprise to many if they are renewed. And if Ozil and Sanchez contract deals are not extended, it will constitute a major setback at Arsenal.
But who and who will Arsenal sign in the summer is subject to speculations as we the Arsenal fans don’t have any previleged inside information on signing of players at Arsenal. And which senior & junior Gunners they’ll sell?
The real rumour I’ve heard is that narcissistic Morgan wants the Arsenal job while the self-styled Mourhino would like to swap places and bore us all on breakfast TV.
That has got to be the funniest rumour ever 🙂
If Mourinho signs to replace Arsene, Stan Kroenke and whole Board who would rise their arm for that decision should make a collective selfie so that a word “back-stabber” finally gets a proper picture next to the definition.
The arrival of Jose Mourinho will only happen if Jorge Mendes takes over the club . 4% of the Arsenal shares are in the hands of the very influential minority shareholders. They are being told to sell now by all the major stockbrokers . The simian stockbroker who makes these decisions told them so . Why go against the grain ? Check it out here –
http://www.upi.com/blog/2013/04/05/Study-Monkeys-pick-stocks-better-than-fund-managers/8071365165061/
They have stood firm against all attempts by the major shareholders to buy them .
But with the ‘toxic’ atmosphere prevailing around the Ems and nearby street corners , they could sell if they were made an offer they couldn’t refuse .Or paid crazy money for them ! After all they will be doing it in the best interest of the club .
Mendes could then launch a hostile takeover bid for all the remaining shares that are not already in his hands. Far fetched ? Maybe . Impossible ? Never ! He is of course well monied himself , and has the clout and influence to attract some very big fat cats to the table. Many of them may have allegedly made their fortunes from ‘investing’ in the oldest profession , So when fans cry , ” SPEND SOME FUCKING MONEY ” , you know damn sure they’ve got that one right !
All those banners , black scarves and bin bags are starting to get Stan and Usmanov very jittery . Not to mentioned the invasive braying press ! We already know that these individuals detest any bad press and are very sensitive persons .They ‘d probably bail out at the very first sign of revolt from the fans !
The good ( or at the very least promising ) news is that he will probably bring in his brood of top, top players . Costa , Ronaldo , Falcao or James Rodriguez leading the line ? Or…. (shivers !) all or them ? Mouth watering , no ?
The downside ? You can bet your last dollar ( or your ass !) that those pesky AKBs will be predicting that Arsenal will not complete a hundred years in the first division .
Hmmmmm….
Pleaseeeee. No more about Mourhino.
Anyone who has the absolute nerve to call HIMSELF “Special” cannot be taken seriously. The guy is completely Morganised (a new dictionary name for a self-centred person who is in love with himself).
Great to see our players putting the media rumors back in their place:
https://twitter.com/MesutOzil1088/status/712290491010830337
Özil on Twitter: “Have seen the media reports today. Arsène Wenger was a big reason for me joining Arsenal – this hasn’t changed! #Respect #AFC”
@ Gord – Great news ! Canada may be in line to win the next World Cup .
When FIFA changes the rules to make goals relative to the nation’s size / WUMO
http://joyreactor.com/post/2475866
Very little danger of Moanhino coming to AFC as the Board and Wenger have identified him as Persona Non Grata in the Ems AND the vast majority of supporters regard him as a narcissistic little Chaplinesque comedy figure who tends to win things BUT at a very high price. The players hate his defensive-minded style and we would lose some of our best to transfer requests because of him as well.
It’s clear there is a concerted media campaign to oust AW. The print and TV “experts” (ha!ha!) know best. They all have excellent credentials in managing leading international football clubs don’t they.
Wenger is one of the most dignified, knowledgable managers and coaches in the business.
It’s well known that he had chances to move elsewhere, but unlike Maureen, he stayed loyal and helped to guide Arsenal through the difficult time of the stadium build and financing.
Yes, we should have won the EPL this season – but hey, the season’s not over yet. It’s a tall order now, but with eight games to go (five at home) – win them all and we give ourselves a chance.#
Every Arsenal supporter (including the AAA if they are Arsenal supporters) should get right behind AW and the team till the end of the season.
COYG
I agree Barry, all the fans need to get behind the team and make the Emirates a fortress.
Leicester has taken about 71% of all the points they take, if they continue at that rate, the total points tally will be 80-81 points.
If Arsenal manage to go on a streak and win all of their remaining 8 games, Arsenal will end up with 79 points.
If Leicester has just a slight dip, which is entirely possible with matches against United, Chelsea, Everton, and West Ham, Arsenal has a chance to sneak in there in the last week. Fans need to get behind the team, and let’s make the impossible possible!
I cannot even tolerate the thought of that man at Arsenal, for me he is everything that Arsenal do not stand for. The man could not even spell loyalty never mind integrality. So it all begins yet again but like every year I will wait till a new signing is confirmed on the official website and then welcome a new player or players to AFC. The season is far from over just yet and who knows what these last games have in store. Whatever happens I’m behind the boss and the team all the way.
Linda,
I assume you’re referring to MaureenO although it could also be referring to Piers Moron.
Andy Mack
I can’t stand the thought of either to be honest. Moron’s both at the top of their class.
The rumours have started again.
We all know what they are eh?
“a currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth”
“be circulated as an unverified account”