By Sir Hardly Anyone
Yes this past week’s transfer tales have been full of both in’s and out’s and with only three months to go before the transfer windows slams shut on your fingers and little driblets of blood spatter onto the carpet you just had cleaned, the clubs are starting to panic.
However there is no need. Just look at this
ARSENAL HAVE SIGNED £20M WORLD-CLASS NO.9 – “COMPLETED MEDICAL LAST FRIDAY”
Now given the incredible level of coverage of Granit’s transfer to Arsenal long before the deal was done, this might come as a bit of a surprise.
But perhaps this is explainable by the fact that the story comes from Balkan News and refers to Jamie Vardy. It is odd that the story hasn’t been picked up by other people – only those in the Balkan’s, so your intrepid reporter actually read the full article accompanying the headline and it says this
Earlier this week in British newspapers has been leaked that Arsenal are in secret talks with World-Class No.9 but the name of the striker remains unclear.
Some of the British sources insist that its Leicester City forward Jamie Vardy who has scored 24-goals in the Premier league and being named as PFA Player of the year.
Then we have the invariable Wenger insult
Arsene Wenger is finally set to move for a blockbuster striker
followed by the complete contradiction of the headline
in the coming months
and the admission they made it all up
and Jamie Vardy has been one of the best candidates to replace injured striker.
And the fact that they made up something that won’t happen
However, his move from King Power seems unlikely after Leicester City FC agreed on the new five-year deal with their star striker who led them to their first Premier League title.
I think it is fair to say that this bloggetta takes us to heights (or is that depths) of insanity that we didn’t get to last summer, something that is confirmed by the fact that the site also carries an advert with the lead
They also run the headline “I will leave in the summer” which is about Dan Crowley (see below, and don’t panic).
Elsewhere we have Arsenal agree personal terms with striker, confirms agent which comes from Arsenal Fever. That’s Romero, whose story we covered last week, and last year.
But fortunately, before your finger nails are gnawed to the bones waiting for Arsenal.com to confirm you can occupy your mind with Epl Scouts who tell us
Deal Close: Arsenal ready to agree terms with Euro giants
And the details…
Oops! That page can’t be found.
OK so enough of that. Here are 21 proper and serious stories.
Honestly. I found them in the press, so they must be true.
Story Number 1: The Daily Mail
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will be looking to bolster his squad with signings this summer
And I think we should all thank the Mail for that one. But of course it is not only Arsenal that is making the news this past week.
Story Number 2: The Daily Mail
Liverpool misfit Mario Balotelli set for Anfield return after flopping on loan
The 25-year-old striker signed for the Reds in 2014 from Milan for £16million, but managed just four goals in 28 appearances and was sent back to Italy on loan. Balotelli, however, has continued to struggle for form and was told he has no future with the Rossoneri.
Nor, I suspect, as an ice cream vendor, a Portuguese translator of Virgil, a tree surgeon, a telephone engineer, or an impersonator of the Duchess of York.
But the return of Balotelli to Liverpool is predictable as no one else wants him. Equally to be expected, is…
Story Number 3: The Daily Mail
Barcelona stepping up pursuit of Arsenal defender Hector Bellerin
If you didn’t see this coming you were not paying attention. Here’s how it goes…
Arsenal face a battle to hold on to Hector Bellerin this summer with Barcelona making the right back their top target to replace Dani Alves, according to reports in Spain on Thursday.
News of the Catalans’ interest in Bellerin – a former Barcelona academy player – will be a major concern to Arsene Wenger having helped turn the 21-year-old into one of the best right backs in the Premier League.
What I really find odd here is the “News of the Catalans’ interest…” No guys, it isn’t news, it’s ancients. Anyway Barcelona are in a bit of a Messi (ho ho) with a court case just now.
And not only that, there are the players that we won’t get but were once spotted at the airport not to mention the estate agents.
Story Number 4: The Guardian
Gonzalo Higuaín… the record-breaking Napoli sharpshooter … has apparently said he wants to join up with Jürgen Klopp and company. He just has to force his exit from Naples first.
Story Number 5: The Guardian
Could Kurt Zouma become the new Petr Cech? No.
Yes that is the way they write these snips in the Guardian, plus of course with an overdollop of snide sarcasm… “No he’s not about to don the gloves and exhibit a worrying vulnerability at his near post – but he could be following the goalkeeper’s path to Arsenal, with Arsène Wenger said to have made contact with Chelsea about signing the commanding centre-back.”
Moving on…
Story Number 6: The Metro
“Massimiliano Allegri hints at Alvaro Morata exit” is the big story and you know its real because it is followed by the word “report” with a link to another article that says exactly the same thing.
Juventus manager Massimiliano Allegri appears to have hinted that Arsenal could sign Alvaro Morata.
And just to make sure you have got it…
Speaking in an interview, Allegri’s face suggested Juve could struggle to fight off interest in the 23-year-old.
Story Number 7: The Metro
Calum Chambers linked with a return to Southampon on loan (Picture: Getty)
I am not quite sure if the picture was of Calum, Southampton or a Getty (a close relative of a Yeti), but fortunately the report has a secondary headline
Calum Chambers to be loaned out this summer – report
Arsenal could send Calum Chambers out on loan to a Premier League club for next season.
The England man’s former club Southampton are among the sides showing an interest, with Chambers not progressing as hoped at the Emirates Stadium.
So all told not a very long report.
Story Number 8 – The Metro (continuing)
In more positive news for Arsenal fans, the 21-year-old’s departure could free up the club to sign £20m-rated Napoli centre-back Kalidou Koulibaly.
Story Number 9 – The Metro and another “report”
Actually I think there is an abuse of the word “report” here, and if the UK government actually hadn’t actually sold off the Office of Fair Trading to Google, we might be able to report it. But still there is always
Story Number 10 – The Metro (and please don’t lose the will to live, there is some better stuff a bit later…)
David Ospina a £3m transfer target for Besiktas – report
Bestikas are keen to sign Arsenal’s backup goalkeeper David Ospina this summer. The Colombian shot-stopper has fallen behind Petr Cech in the pecking order, and is also keen to leave north London.
£3m could be enough for Arsenal to sell the former Nice man…
Story Number 11 – L’Equipe (at least the Metro blame them)
“Arsenal are reportedly ready to spend big on a new striker to finally replace Olivier Giroud in the summer transfer window and so will buy either Gonzalo Higuain, or Alvaro Morata or Jamie Vardy.”
Which is odd because according to the first report we bought Vardy last friday.
And while we are at it Story Number 12 (its the Metro of course)
Arsenal have been linked with Vardy’s Foxes team-mates Riyad Mahrez and N’Golo Kante, but it may be hard to persuade Claudio Ranieri to sell to a direct rival.
Actually it would easier if we just bought the whole city, including that old king they found in a car park.
Story Number 13, setting Arsenal up to fall down (Daily Express)
The Mail reckon Bilic is ready to make a £16m approach to sign AC Milan star Carlos Bacca, who is wanted at Arsenal. Bacca joined Milan from Sevilla last summer with the assumption that the San Siro giants would challenge for the Serie A title and qualify for the Champions League.
Clever how the Express blames the Mail.
Story Number 14. More from the Excess.
Story number 18: From the BBC
Newport County have signed former Arsenal midfielder Mark Randall on a two-year contract. They also have the headline Bournemouth set to beat Arsenal and Crystal Palace to striker signing.
Now I have often wondered what “set to beat” means. Is it that there is a whistle blown, and the transfer chiefs get in their cars and race, or is it implying that Arsenal’s negotiation team never get up until two o’clock in the afternoon.
Anyway in case you care that BBC tale says “Bournemouth set to beat Arsenal to 18-year-old free agent striker Mikael Ndjoli” Does Arsenal actually sign any 18 year old free agents?
Story number 19: From Statto.com
BOURNEMOUTH are reportedly set to beat Arsenal and Crystal Palace to the signing of Mikael Ndjoli. See, you can rely on Untold – I just told you that.
Story number 20: Sorry I drifted off there and can’t remember where this came from.
MARK BOSNICH believes Celtic attacker Tom Rogic is ideally suited to the style of football at Arsenal.
Story number 21: From Statto.
Arsenal make shock Granit Xhaka announcement. He will now wear the No 29 shirt next season.
And in case you missed it, yesterday’s insult of the day from the home page was
I must tell you friendly in your ears, sell when you can, you are not for all markets
(As you like it)
The most recent edition of the Great Transfer Index lists 51 players tipped to be signed by Arsenal this summer. A new edition will be published in a few days time.
‘Fraid I must correct you on one of these stories m’lud.
The Independent has a headline this morning saying
Arsenal transfer news: Barcelona ‘switch focus to Valencia defender Joao Cancelo’ after failing with Hector Bellerin move.
Appears you are a bit behind the times. Tempus fugit and so forth.
Regards
Billy
Am I the only regular who comments here who doesn’t follow the media’s ‘transfer news’ as i firmly believe it isn’t news and is boring?
I am sure this is well written and funny but as I don’t read the source of the comments I can’t see a reason for reading the piece.
But I am all for a good joke and appreciate Brickfields many contributions.
Thinking woman
Subject: Reading Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife
decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman
and says, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious”).
“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”
“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at
any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the
woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you!” says the game warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could
start at any moment.”
“Have a nice day ma’am”, and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also
think
chuckle chuckle O how Sir Hardly Anyone saves me a lot of time I don’t have by putting all the bullshit together in articles like these.
I like that colario doesn’t have a reason for reading this, but has the time to comment on not reading it! Nice work Brickfields, keep the spotlight on the ridiculous..
Thanks Guys. You report and transer rumour round-up saves me a hell a lot of time and anxiety.
Colario – Untold publishes on average 19 items a week (just under 1000 a year) covering a huge array of matters within the remit we’ve given ourselves. But I don’t think any of us involved with keeping Untold running have ever believed that anyone would be interested in every article. Hence the Sir Hardly pieces generally have the unbelievable headlines and of course his name at the top of article, so they can be easily avoided if not liked.
I think they are worth publishing simply because the media has built a whole industry out of lying to us regular football fans, both in terms of what might happen, and in terms of the notion that it is transfers that determine how well a team does. They are, quite simply, a way of fighting back.
My view is that we are getting this message across, both by saying it in serious pieces which quote the statistics of the failure rate of transferred players, and by making fun of the media that run the stories. And it does seem to me that before Untold came along, no one was debunking these stories – people took them seriously and then blamed the manager for not buying players who were clearly available. Indeed you will see the regular “Club x have beaten Arsenal to the signature of…” when in fact Arsenal were never going to sign the player.
But as I say, you don’t have to read them. Nor the Great Transfer Index which will be published shortly, and which will record every single player that has been linked with Arsenal by the media in the past month. It’s quite a large number.
And does it never fascinate you that the broadcast print and online media focus on the endless propagation of stories that are palpably untrue?
Colario is a serial non reader/commenter on news items.
He’s also ashamed to be English.
http://untold-arsenal.com/archives/53055
No mentions of Ricardo Rodriguez. Must be because it’s the wrong Rodriguez.
@ colario – June 1, 2016 at 7:49 am – Thanks Charles , for those kind words of praise , but sometimes SHA is funnier ! I quite like the idea of Ballotelli glaring and pouting in front of the Kop as he is warming up !
Its enough to rile up a riot !
Decomposing –
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple of days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said: “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”
He listened a while longer, and said: “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”
Suddenly, the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.
He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery: “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”
the untold story of the origin of call centre…
A husband and wife agreed that any time they want to have sex, they will call it a “phone call ” so that their kids will not know (decode it )…..
One day they had a terrible fight and the wife stopped talking to her husband and decided to talk through the kids.
The husband said to the son: “Tell your mom, daddy wants to make a phone call”.
The angry mother replied, “Tell your dad that the network is down today.”
Daddy replies, “Tell your mom that if there is no network at home, he will have to go to a public phone. ”
Mother said, “Tell your dad, if he dares to go to a public phone, she will open a call centre at home” !
It is my belief that we are facing a very important summer. The most important summer during the Wenger reign. Maybe even in the history of the club. Or maybe not. Maybe this is just hyperbole. However as we survey the end of a season of frustration, it is my belief that this summer we are facing a uniquely dangerous set of circumstances, one that could blow us away unless we act with ruthless conviction to keep the club at the top table.
Chelsea’s disastrous season and the lacklustre seasons of the two Manchester teams creates a very risky situation for us. Roman Abramovich, Sheikh Mansour and the Glazer family will simply not tolerate a repeat of this year, and are likely to spend big in an attempt to get back to the top of the pile. All three will have new managers next year, regardless of Van Gaal’s team delivering in the FA Cup final, and this will galvanise them in a way that could be devastating for Arsenal. All three are likely to make very serious bids for at least a top three place, and so we run a very real risk of being squeezed out of not only the title race, but the Champions League places all together.
And then we come to the wildcards and dark horses. Next season will see Tottenham boosted in money and prestige by playing in the Champions League. Their impressive young team could well push on to new things and will certainly make another serious bid for a top four place, if not a shot at the title. At Liverpool we will see what Jurgen Klopp can do when he has a full summer to get the players in that he wants and begins to mould the team in his image. Thirdly, we come onto the champions Leicester, who in a strange way will be next season’s unknown quantity. Will they be able to make a serious bid to retain the title? Will they compete for the top four? Will the pressure of the Champions League be too much for them? What is certain in my opinion is that Leicester will remain very dangerous at the top and will make a serious bid for a top six finish. And lastly we face Southampton and West Ham. If they can cope with the pressure of European football, then they could both make serious bids for top seven finishes again.
So there we have it. Next season we will see three wounded big beasts strike back, as well five other teams in possible contention at the top of the table. Arsenal could face an unprecedented squeeze on the top four next season, and so we must take radical steps now to ensure that the club remains competitive and in the Champions League. Sitting still is simply not an option. We must get rid of underperformers and replace them with higher quality replacements. Alas, I fear that the club will not do what is needed, despite the warning signs being there. I can’t help but get the feeling that the stage is set for a disastrous end to the Wenger reign. And what a shame it would be for our greatest ever manager to sign off in such a way.
I asked if I am the only one….?
Billy The Dog
June 1, 2016 at 9:17 am
“And does it never fascinate you that the broadcast print and online media focus on the endless propagation of stories that are palpably untrue?”
My answer to your question Billy is: No Billy it doesn’t fascinate me. When I did read them I was bored by them so I don’t read them anymore they are for me a complete waste of time.
If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking. George S. Patton
Brickfields. If you ever read my Face Book page don’t be surprised if a joke sounds familiar. I have often shared the joke you have publish here on Face Book.
Another fine roundup by Sir Hardly!
@ Sir Hardly,
I can’t get past the fantasy of Balotelli impersonating the Duchess of York.
On a serious note, Arsenal have appeared more and more in the past 4 seasons to need to sign a top 25 League goals/season striker to support the efforts of Olivier Giroud and not to replace him to win the BPL title.
In accomplishing this possible mission, any of Gonzalo Higuain, Alvaro Morata and Jamie Vardy can fit in to the class of a top quality striker at Arsenal.
But would the Boss sign any of them or he already has his targeted top striker different from those 3 he would sign? Is only the Boss that can answer this my questions.
Nevertheless, I have a preference. If only wishes were horses, beggers will ride in Paradise. how I wish Arsenal will sign Vardy and Morata at the same time in this summer transfer window. I hope am not reaching for the optical illusion?
Of course Arsenal can sign them both if Leicester and Madrid will sell them to us and if the players are willing to come to Arsenal.
Arsenal should get the £70m needed to sign these 2 top players if they are determined to sign them. If they don’t have the money in their bank accounts, they can borrow it with interest free from Stan Kroenke. He wouldn’t turn Arsenal down, would he?
Imagine if we have Giroud, Vardy & Morata alternately leading the line for Arsenal, Arsenal’s striker department won’t suffered the scarcity of sufficient goals they suffered last season that led them to lose out in the title fight. Besides, Morata should be versatile as he was originally a left winger at Real Madrid before Juventus converted him to a striker. That versatility will be an added advantage to Arsenal.
This happened to me at work one day.
A colleague said to me:
“Rumour has it that you are a Jehovah’s Witness.”
I was very surprised at hearing this and wondered what I had said or done to make anyone think this of me.
I asked how this conclusion had been reached. There was some discussion on this and then I asked this question:
“Who says I am a Jehovah’s Witness?
My colleague replied to my surprise:
“I can’t you that. It’s confidential.”
To my question:
“Since when has a rumour been confidential?”
Laughter was the only answer.
However rumours can be malicious as Arsene experienced from the English media on his arrival at Highbury.
I have no time for the English media.
Tom this is an interesting analysis – and if you would like to expand it a little further, it would make an interesting article (which would give it a much bigger readership. If you would like to contemplate such a development, please email me Tony.Attwood@aisa.org
What I would say is that although you have rightly emphasised certain key issues, there are others. At some stage Tottenham’s extraordinary finances in which they purport to make a profit on transfers, will have to come to an end, and they also have the stadium costs to deal with, plus the fact of playing Champs League games at Wembley, and playing in a reduced capacity stadium. All of this could have an effect.
Plus new managers can have an immediate impact, or cause disruptions….
Tom
I could quite easily construct a far more positive outlook if I was bothered. I’m looking forward to next season to see how Pep Guardiola fares, and my almost certainty that Leicester will finish outside the top four.
If Arsenal do not suffer injuries to 3-4 first choice players at the same time then Arsenal are the team to beat. There a positive outlook.
Think there may be more than one Tom who posts on here…maybe the above is from Thomas Williamson who has already put his interesting post as a lead article on the Online Gooner site
http://www.onlinegooner.com/article.php?section=exclusive&id=3463#.V07d6jUrLcs
Agree, this makes a valid point, there are all kinds of threats from other teams next season. Not sure all these much celebrated managers are going to succeed, especially so early, but Wenger will have to work on the assumption one…or two may. Some of these teams will be spending a lot, and will not have the ECL…or indeed, in some cases, anything in Europe to distract them, and deplete their squads. We all saw what this did for Leicester last season, and Liverpool as well recently.
I would imaging thats why Wenger has started strengthening early
There was a piece in the Telegraph today in which Moaninho (is reported to have) said that he would not be engaging in any verbal or psychological battles with Guardiola next season, as this would be a major distraction and could allow other teams win the EPL.
I wonder how long it will take him to break his new season’s resolution!!
Sir Hardly
One of the most used phrases by the various blogettas is to label a player (any player)as an “Arsenal target ……”
There is never any evidence that any of the many named players is actually a target for the club, but that’s no reason why the “fact” should not be re-cycled time and again ad nauseam. (if only to wind up the WOBs)
As AW has often said, any new signing has to significantly improve the quality of the squad, has to be available (his current club prepared to sell), and the price has to be realistic. AW has shown he is not afraid to splash the cash when the right player becomes available – Ozil, Sanchez, Xhaka – but sightings of “top strikers” available to buy are pretty elusive these days so Piers Organ may have a frustrating summer again!
Hey Barry don’t be a meanie.
I’m sure the Happy One, the specialist in signing players signed up to special agents, will be spreading his own special brand of sociopathy around the league soon enough. After all it didn’t take him that long to dismantle Roman’s uber squad of Mata, KDB etc replacing them with overpriced tat (notice the blanket silence on this hilarity in the funny papers although most football fans have been laughing at that bungtastic charade for a while now).
I’m guessing Man Utd have done their due diligence on the ongoing court case? Hopefully not!
@ colario -June 1, 2016 at 10:13 am – Please be my guest and post them wherever you want. Only don’t credit them to me , or else there’ll be too many copyright infringement cases against me !
Why is next season the make or break season for AW and the club ? Is it the end of the world ? Has the Aztec doom’s day clock been recalculated and recalibrated to confirm 2017 as the end of the world ? Actually a + 5 ( or is it -5 ) error isn’t too far off the mark!
In that case spend all the fucking money !
Half the clowns sound very much like those kids that appear on American Idol and other reality music shows who say stupid things like , “…this is my last chance to follow my childhood dream !” while sobbing , with their silly parents ans family all breaking down . Really ?
I hope I don’t ever get the pleasure (Yeah, right !)of ever meeting these clowns .
I agree with Brickfields, I don’t see why this season is make or break. Arsene Wenger will know what he has to do better than anyone else and what Chelsea and the rest of them do is of no interest to me what so ever it’s only Arsenal that concern me. He has already started to buy and none of us know what is happening behind the scenes on the transfer front but one think I do know and it’s this, Arsene Wenger will do all he can to get the right players for the club the ones who fit in to the Arsenal style of playing and won’t cause any frictions in the dressing room. I don’t give a damn who the others clubs sign because I don’t support them so I have little interest. If the players that Arsenal want are available and don’t cost millions over there realistic price and wages then I’m sure we will get them.
We have seen how players costing astonishing price tags have failed in the EPL and Europe so there is no guarantee of success. People think by getting a player who cost is £60.miliion that they are the best only to see that player not match up to his price tag. Whoever comes will have my full support as will the Boss for however long he stays with us and I hope that is longer than just the coming season.
i must say the headline of this piece was actually misleading – more like a clickbait. i do avoid such but seeing it cam from UA, i decided to read. perhaps, you can choose other headline and not what is up there. just saying.
James making the headline like the headline in the articles we are making fun of is part of the whole process. I appreciate that someone might think that there had been a transfer, it had been kept secret, and now Untold was revealing it, but given that is so utterly unlikely, and given that the article starts with the words “by Sir Hardly Anyone” I think that the worse that happens is that just once someone might waste three seconds – and then they have to be inclined to believe that the story was true which of course it so obviously is not.
As for click bait, this phrase means tricking people into going to a site in order to make money out of them, by getting them to click on an advert without realising that they are. The Sir Hardly articles have time and again named and shamed the web sites that run that scam and because of our activities 90% of them running Arsenal stories have gone. There is no danger at all of doing that on an Arsenal site. So overall I think your fears are unfounded. As I say, the worst thing that can happen is that a person wastes 3 seconds. The best is that we are seeing the click baiters off Arsenal stories, and exposing the idiocy of the press and the bloggettas, once again.
Where else do we get players from? The Arsenal academy. If anybody hasn’t looked yet, there are some very interesting interviews with Andries Jonker about the academy on Arsenal.com.
He especially says Arsenal is unlike other clubs because Arsenal academy players have the chance to play in the first team. Several academy players train with the first team every day. He links Arsene Wenger with these features too.
For Charles’ Facebook –
One of ‘them’ and his wife were always fighting with each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.The man would shout – ‘When I die, I will dig my way up, out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life..’
Neighbours feared him and the man liked the fact that he was feared..
To everyone’s relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 58. His wife had a closed casket at the wake..
After the burial, wife went straight to the local pub and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked – ‘Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life??’
The lady put down her drink and said – ‘Let him dig. I had him buried upside down..’
Women.. I tell you… They think of everything.
Moral of the story… don’t mess with women …
Fattening the deal –
A rich guy falls in love with a girl and decides to meet her father .
Guy : ” Your daughter is so beautiful and I love her . If you let me marry her, I will give you gold equal to her weight .”
Father : ” I need time .”
Guy : ” To think ?”
Father : ” No , no….to help her gain more weight !”
ROTTEN TOMATOES –
A teacher asked her students to bring some tomatoes in a plastic bag to school. Each tomato was to be given the name of a person whom that child hates.
So, the number of tomatoes would be equal to the number of persons they hate.
On a pre-determined day, all the children brought their tomatoes well addressed. Some had two, some had three and some had five, some even had 20 tomatoes in accordance with the number of people they hated.
The teacher then told them they had to carry the tomatoes with them everywhere they go for two weeks.
As the days passed the children started to complain about the decay and smell of the tomatoes.
The students who had many tomatoes complained it was very heavy to carry and the smell was too much.
After a week, the teacher asked the students “How did you feel this week?”
The children complained of the awful smell and heavy weight of the tomatoes, especially those who carried several tomatoes.
The teacher said, “This is very similar to what you carry in your heart when you don’t like some people. Hatred makes the heart unhealthy and you carry that hatred everywhere. If you can’t bear the smell of spoilt tomatoes for a week, imagine the impact of bitterness on your heart as you carry it daily.”
The heart is a beautiful garden that needs regular cleaning of unwanted weeds.
Forgive those who have angered you. This makes room for storing good things.
Get Better, Not Bitter!!!
LAW OF THE GARBAGE TRUCK –
This has to be one of the best messages I have received because when you sit and think about it…. It is so true!
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded and missed the other car by just inches!The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, ” Why did you just do that? This guy could almost ruin your car and sent us to the hospital!”
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,’Law of the Garbage Truck’
He explained that many people are like GARBAGE TRUCKS. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointments. As and when their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you.
” Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.”
Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, So … Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t.
Life is 10 % what you make it, and 90 % how you take it!
HAVE A GARBAGE-FREE LIFE .
(My advice to ‘them’ ,keep your shit together, and to yourself and don’t come here and stink up the place !)
I admit that I came onto this site with a more negative viewpoint than most on here.
I do dispute Tom’s concerns for the coming season however. What has perhaps been overlooked in the managerial conings and goings is that by retaining Arsene Wenger, the Arsenal always start the season with an advantage over their rivals, namely stability.
Yes some teams will invariably do better with a new manager, for others things might not work out.
The fact of having a long standing manager is one of the reasons cited by Andries Jonker for the good relations between the Arsenal academy and the first team.
So blatant unacknowledged plagiarism from Tom (possibly from his own article). I can’t remember if that is a yellow or red card offence?
Anyway, as others have pointed out, we have stability.
As for dropping out of the Top 4 – that has been predicted annually for a very long time. It is like these doomsday cults stating that the world will end on x date. When it doesn’t happen they then shamelessly pronounce another date for the world to end. And so on.
We will fall out of the Top 4 one day – but don’t see why it should be next season. The likes of Guardiola and Conte are not used to managing in a competitive league and may take time to adjust.
I remember going to a Real Madrid – Real Zaragoza game many years ago. Zaragoza conceded a penalty and had a player red carded after 5 minutes. They then spent the remaining 85 minutes just trying to stop RealMad adding to their tally – with no attempt at all at trying to get back into the game. RealMad eventually scored a 2nd right at the end. But it was an unbelievably boring match for the neutral.