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October 2016
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We’re going to make Arsenal great again as now even the journalists are replaced

By Tony Attwood

Substitute one word in the slogan and it is easy to see how Donald Trump land has come to football.  In the world of toxic rhetoric Trump promises to expel Muslims and build a wall between the US and Mexico (which Mexico will pay for).   How, why and with what consequence is of no matter, because these days you can fool a lot of the people all of the time.

Indeed it is at moments like this that it would be nice to be able to remind Americans that Abraham Lincoln had said “You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.”  But unfortunately Lincoln didn’t say it.  And I don’t think John Lydgate (the monk also accredited with the line) said it either.  These are just more stories, more make believe, more fantasy.

Toxic rhetoric suggests, as I tried to explain yesterday, that there are simple solutions to complex problems, and that our current leaders are not following these simple solutions because of some conspiracy in which they are engaged.

The President of the US, for example, is planning a war against the American people, and anyway isn’t actually an American citizen but comes from (in the words of the Spectator under Boris Johnson’s editorship) “Bongo Bongo Land”.

The manager of Arsenal won’t spend money on transfers because…  well fill in whichever conspiracy theory you want to imagine – he’s in league with the directors who want to take all the money out of the club is a favourite.  Or he’s too stupid.  (A man who has won more League championships, more FA Cups and done it all while building a new stadium is stupid… that’s quite a good one).

(Incidentally, it is interesting to calculate how many years it took Arsenal to win any major trophy after building Highbury, and then compare it with how many years it took after building the Emirates.   But that’s another story.)

But now with toxic rhetoric taking over and simple sloganising replacing any sort of proper debate, the media has a new approach.   Get rid of the editors and replace them with robots.   As a result the Independent not only runs the headline

‘I do not read newspapers or watch TV, just porn!’ Mancini admits

they actually put it under the heading “Arsenal”, which even in the subplot it has nothing to do with.

I’ve mentioned before how crazy running newspaper websites by robots is – and the Indy is still doing it, for under the heading of news about AFC Bournemouth we still have

  • Could this be Britain’s most expensive airport link? (a story about Heathrow)


  • West Ham have club-record £31m Lacazette bid rejected

Of course it is not just the Independent that is now run by robots.   The Telegraph is running on its index of football stories page the headline

FA Cup

which seems fairly clear, except that underneath that it has the headline

Welsh win would see Mark Clattenburg’s Euro 2016 final dream go up in smoke

Not only are their robots out of control, both in terms of relevance and timeliness, but no one from the editorial or publishing team is actually checking what the robots are putting on their own web site.

Of course it could be thought that through all these years of Untold Arsenal I’d have welcomed football journalists being replaced by robots, and I suppose at one stage I probably did, but actually what I was really hoping for was journalists who make up stories down the pub being replaced by proper journalists who researched proper stories rather than invent make believe allegedly reprinted from foreign newspapers that we’ve never heard of, which never published the story in the first place and actually half the time don’t even exist.

Goodness knows when Untold first pointed out that this sort of journalism treats the readership with utter contempt, but whenever it was, I had no idea that politicians would look at it and see it not as a dire warning of where sport reporting could end up, but instead as a model for manipulating public awareness.

But that is how it is.  Try this one for size…

Gunners given hope for Higuain but Koscielny future in doubt

published yesterday.  And then (as they used to say in examination papers) contrast and compare with this one from the same website the day before.

Arsenal ‘to beat West Ham move’ for Bacca after missing out on Higuain.

“Hope” or “missing out”?  Who knows.

But there is always that underlying theme of pathetic hopelessness as with these two stories that were published this morning one minute apart…

Arsenal close in on third signing, £2.5m fee agreed (which is to do with the signing of Rob Holding from Bolton, and which the Transfer Index reported as being at this stage about a month ago)
and then

Barcelona plot Premier League swoop on Mahrez to dash Chelsea and Arsenal transfer hopes

The image is simple.  There are some clubs out there who can make it all happen, because they have the will to make it happen, and there are others that just fumble around in the dark.If only we could find the magic potion.  Where are those druids when you need them?

But no, Merlin has gone, lost in the darkness of the forest as  Jose Mourinho, having taken over his demonic heritage, casts a spell over him and places him in the magic tomb so that he can never escape.

And look, the dark magic is working…

Barcelona plot Premier League swoop on Mahrez to dash Chelsea and Arsenal transfer hopes

Yes, we are weak and feeble.  If only we could find a leader to make us great again. It’s simple all we need is a leader but instead we have…
  • Bayern Munich to poach critical Arsenal star
  • Arsenal: 5 Defensive Players Possibly Leaving This Summer
  • EPL Transfer Talk – July 18 – Bayern Munich to swoop for Laurent Koscielny
  • No surprise that Arsenal are entangled in yet another contract saga
  • Arsenal legend urges Wenger to give the club and fans a boost
  • Arsenal legend David Seaman puts pressure on Arsene Wenger to sign more players:
  • Arsenal great not happy with current team
  • Roma coach explains why Gonzalo Higuain snubbing Arsenal would be good

All of those turned up on the internet during the course of last night, and there are many more.

Of course this isn’t politics so all this sort of writing does is damage a football club (albeit a club that has been dear to my heart for as long as I can remember).  It’s not like putting nuclear weapons in the hands of Donald Trump.  And it is not like the fact that 36% of the electorate voted for Adolph Hitler in 1932.  It is though, a constant undermining of rationality, honesty and proper debate.

We have 19 members of the first team squad who have been reported this summer to be about to leave Arsenal.  When another one goes (as of course he will as part of the normal course of transfer events) various websites and newspapers will be saying “we predicted it” while forgetting all the other predictions that were untrue and the damage they can all do.

Mind you, a PPP poll in the US has found that 28 percent of voters believe secretive power elite with a globalist agenda are conspiring to rule the world through an authoritarian world government, while 13 percent believe President Obama is the “anti-Christ,” a figure foretold in the Book of Revelations who would initiate the end of the world.

The phrase “abandon hope” springs to mind.

Recent Posts

Untold Arsenal has published five books on Arsenal – all are available as paperback and three are now available on Kindle.  The books are

  • The Arsenal Yankee by Danny Karbassiyoon with a foreword by Arsene Wenger.
  • Arsenal: the long sleep 1953 – 1970; a view from the terrace.  By John Sowman with an introduction by Bob Wilson.
  • Woolwich Arsenal: The club that changed football.  By Tony Attwood, Andy Kelly and Mark Andrews.
  • Making the Arsenal: a novel by Tony Attwood.
  • The Crowd at Woolwich Arsenal by Mark Andrews.

You can find details of all five on our new Arsenal Books page

39 comments to We’re going to make Arsenal great again as now even the journalists are replaced

  • nicky

    Re the Mahrez saga, one day I hope that an EPL player and/or his club will refuse a grossly inflated fee from the likes of Madrid or Barcelona, in favour of staying in the toughest league and the safest country in the world.
    I won’t hold my breath although it’s a wonderful thought.

  • Kenneth Widmerpool

    Dont abandon hope Tony.Just keep going,keep writing,keep looking.

  • GoonerDave

    A conspiracy theory?
    Silent Stan has made over a billion in profit from AFC. He has yet to invest a penny in the club. The fan’s money is being accumulated and not invested in the team. These are facts. Not conspiracy theory.
    Stan stood by while we lost Cesc and Nasri in the same Summer. He could have helped but chose not to.
    These are not opinions, but facts. Not theory but reality.
    Our owner is a leech, who sees making profit as victory. Stan out and please take your son with you. You don’t deserve our great club.

  • GB

    I like the fact that this site stands up for reasonable assessment and behaviour among the media hysteria. However, it has been apparent for some time (2-3 TW’s) that Arsenal needed a top striker to win the EPL. This is probably the most difficult of the TW’s to do it from all the recent ones. This is the TW where we will get it done but be held over a barrel, or not get it done and be left behind. Why have we left it till this TW? Unfortunately that is not media speculation that is cold hard facts that we have seen and are seeing with our own eyes. I fear that we may have messed it up in overlooking this glaring need till now, and that will be down to manager and board error if it plays out badly.

  • Edda1971

    GoonerDave:Do u have proff that Silent Stan have taken a that billion in profit out of the club and put it in is pocket ? If i was an owner of a busniness and it was worth 100million in 1980 and 1000 billion in 2016 it doesnt mean that I have earned 900 million and put that in my bank account. Not untill i sell. And maybe i didnt even owned 100% of the company (dont think SilentStan own 100% of ArsenalFC ?).

    And what could Stan have done when Cesc and Nasri left ? Given them some of his own money ? Companies dont work like that. Stan is only one of many owners of Arsenal FC, he cannot use his own money to buy players or raise their salary, because then he would indirectly be giving money to the other owners as well.

    The one thing he could have done that is getting the board to go and take up huge loans and buy lots of overpriced players and put us in even more debt and risking the clubs future. And ever worse he could sack Wenger for not being able to keep his best players and not winning any trophies for 8-9 years….

    I for one is happy Stan and the board actually know how a real footballclub is supposed to be run, earning the money first and then buy the players that u actually can afford at a reasonable price. Do u really think that Arsene Wenger dont want to have players like Higuain, Morata, Draxler, Benzema, or Lacazette in his squad ? He is not stupid, but he loves Arsenal FC and dont want to spend silly money just so he can make his job easier. He should get respect for that not hate!!!

  • We can win any thing when mr wenger and his son giroud are still there,
    giroud is not a top striker who can puch us to the title, we need some one like higuain or lewandowesky , if not we will cry till when wenger leaves our beloved club

  • Unfortunately, history shows that most people have a limited ability for independent thinking.

  • ChrisC

    I don’t know what the exchange rate was when Kronke bought his shares, but certainly nothing like today’s US$1.32 / £.
    He has lost 10% since Brent in real terms for him.
    However neither that loss nor the profit you claim are real (other than for taxation) until he sells his shares.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Almost everyone’s minds are often too agitated ,in a state of confusion and not at peace , thus rendering their thoughts ill-logical and without focus and most often than not , very stupid.

    Take a step or two back , breathe in deeply , count to a million and have a and look again .That is ,if you’ve not already fallen asleep !

    To those who would like to improve the well being of their thoughts and to attain inner peace , The Medical Division of UA , presents the following article and clip to help you on the path to everlasting bliss .

    Taming the Monkey Mind with Yoga.
    By Ann Pizer.

    ‘The idea of the monkey mind comes from Buddhism. The term has been adopted by yogis to describe a mind that jumps from thought to thought like a monkey jumps from tree to tree. The monkey mind can not exist in the present moment, but rather is constantly distracted by the thoughts that pass through.’
    The rest of the article here ..

    How To Meditate Anytime, Anywhere.
    Buddhist master and meditation teacher Mingyur Rinpoche explains how to meditate with one simple method. From-

  • GB

    Edda, you make a lot of good points. However football seems a tad different to many other businesses. There comes a time when one has to get what is needed regardless of whether it represents the true market value at that time otherwise the image of the club and its ambition (relative to others) takes a nose dive. What may have appeared over the market value last summer would likely look good value now.

    This situation likely results in a vicious circle of us losing the world class players we do have (because they want to win the big trophies) to other seemingly more ambitious clubs, rather than pushing it through and ensuring we build the team around them. It also then becomes harder to convince other top players to join us when they see this happening.

    I also don’t see any issue with spending big in one TW rather than spread it over 3 if that gets you the side you need for 2-3 seasons of success. I feel the club have procrastinated in recent TW’s and now we find ourselves in a TW that I feel will be very difficult to get in what we need. I am betting Ozil and Sanchez will be watching closely.

  • ChrisC

    Brent = Brexit

  • GB

    I reserve the right to take it all back if we get a top striker imminently 🙂

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    Let’s not worry or over worry ourselves. Because I have a strong conviction that tells me Arsenal will unfailingly win titles this season which will include the Barclays Premier League title if not the quadruple altogether.

  • Pat

    Tony, if 36 per cent of Germans voted for Hitler, (even though it was only because they were deluded) 64 per cent didn’t. He only held power afterwards through a reign of terror.

  • Andy Mack

    Does the newspaper article say how long Terry Mancini has only watched porn?

  • Andy Mack

    Gooerdave, Stan won’t actually make a profit from his shareholding until he sells.
    Yes he has ‘potentially’ made a good profit but equally shares can go down as well as up. So he could end up selling at a loss (Say Sky/BT etc decide not to pay silly money to show football).
    I’d suggest you stay away from anyone selling ‘financial investment’ products until you understand this properly.

  • Andy Mack

    GB, we have a team at differing ages and with the possibility to get injured seriously at any time. Blowing 3 years transfer budget in one go could lead to major holes in the team but no money to plug those holes.
    Also even what looks like a good buy in hindsight sometimes isn’t, but more importantly, would you have bought Benteke? 😀 With hindsight you probably wouldn’t.
    But without knowing the facts on players and their availability, we don’t know if we (AFC) missed opportunities or not.
    I turned down a better paying UK job to work overseas briefly. It was the right time for me to do something I’d always wanted to do. A few years later back in London I offered a guy a god salary to work for my unit but he declined because he wanted to stay close to his family in the North East. In real life these things happen regularly but few football fans seem to understand that life isn’t only about money (could say it’s is about money up to a certain point).
    That’s not saying the club haven’t missed chances, just that not everything is as available as the newspapers/blogs suggest.
    Fingers crossed for the striker I think we need.

  • Gunnerjoe

    The world of stupid people

  • Pete

    Is it possible to clarify which Nicky is which as I believe there was also a Nicky-come-lately recently? I always looked forward to Nicky, whose Gran cleans at the Emirates, contributing here…

  • Brickfields Gunners

    How the stupidity started –

    Why Teachers want to retire early or take to drinking

    The following questions were in a ( UK ) GED (grade 12 equivalent) examination– (These are genuine answers).

    Q. What is a turbine?
    A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

    Q. How is dew formed?
    A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
    A. If you are buying a house, they will insist that you are well endowed.

    Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
    A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

    Q. What are steroids?
    A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
    (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope.)

    Q. What happens to your body as you age?
    A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
    A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)

    Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
    A. Premature death.

    Q. What is artificial insemination?
    A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

    Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
    A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)

    Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
    A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O, U.

    Q. What is the fibula?
    A. A small lie.

    Q. What does ‘vericose’ mean?
    A. Nearby.

    Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
    A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
    (That would work.)

    Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section.’
    A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome .

    Q. What is a seizure?
    A. A Roman Emperor.
    (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit.)

    Q. What is a terminal illness?
    A. When you are sick at the airport.

    Q. Name the four seasons
    A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.


  • finsbury

    Tony there is some evidence to indicate that the genius self-declared Experts in Football, Finance and Physiotherapy beat you to their S&M punchline

    ” Make Arsenal great again”
    “I want my Arsenal back”
    “Arsenal football club is a local club for local people (including Stevenage)” courtesy of the Royston Vasey Arsenal Supporters Trust.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million-dollar houses.

    On the third tee, the husband said, “Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows. It’ll cost us a fortune to fix.”

    The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course.

    The husband cringed and said, “I told you to watch out for the houses. All right, let’s go up there, apologize, and see how much this is going to cost.”

    They walked up and knocked on the door. A voice said, “Come on in. They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer.
    A man on the couch said, “Are you the people who broke my window?”

    “Uh, yeah. Sorry about that,” the husband replied.

    “No, actually, I want to thank you. I’m a genie who was trapped for a thousand years inside that bottle. You’ve released me. I’m allowed to grant three wishes — I’ll give you each one wish, and I’ll keep the last one for myself.”

    “Okay, great!” the husband said. “I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.”

    “No problem — it’s the least I could do. And you, what do you want?” the genie said, looking at the wife.

    “I want a house in every country of the world,” she said.

    “Consider it done,” the genie replied.

    “And what’s your wish, genie?”, the husband said.

    “Well, since I’ve been trapped in that bottle, I haven’t been with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.”

    The husband looked at the wife and said, “Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I can look the other way.”

    The genie took the wife upstairs. After they slept together, the genie looked at the wife, and said, “How old is your husband, anyway?”

    “Thirty-five,” she replied.

    “And he still believes in genies? That’s amazing.”

  • Emma Jojo…

    Sorry, but I seem to have missed something in your comment – particularly in relation to the article. Unless of course you are using a slightly obscure type of humour to prove the premise within the article correct.

  • Pete

    I liked the timing of mtana’s comment, right after Emma Jojo’s…

  • nicky

    Hi there, it’s me “nicky” with the lower case.
    Can’t understand why anyone should want to be confused with little old me.
    I’m sure Tony will have the matter under his immediate eye!

  • Edda1971

    I agree that we need a top striker, i would like us to get us a winger and central defender as well. But what good strikers are available ? Higuain for 80mill pound ? Morata seems to want to stay at Real Mad and who would blame him ? Lacazette is never worth 45 million because Giroud is much much better! Icardi seems like a decent one but only as a backup for Giroud. I would like anyone here to come up with 2-3 strikers that can make us better ? The same goes for central defender, I know there must be many players better than Gabriel but do they want to come to us ? Man Utd have the same problem, they wanted Hummels but he went to Bayern. They got Bailly, not sure if he is better than BFG or Garbriel, not right away anyway. When it comes to wingers I would really like us to buy Draxler, he is worth 40 m+ and Arsene has shown that he is willing to buy players for that kind of money. But Higuain for 80m+, come on ????

  • omgarsenal

    Is it Emma or JoJo, and do you live on the dole in a crackhouse and are you about 5 years old by any chance?
    Here is your original rant with highlighted spelling and grammatical errors (corrections in parentheses):

    We can(cannot or can’t) win any thing (anything)when (while) mr(Mr.) wenger(Wenger) and his son giroud (Giroud) are still there,(there.)
    giroud (Giroud) is not a top striker who can puch (push) us to the title, we need some one (someone) like higuain (Higuain) or lewandowesky(Lewandowski) , if not we will cry till when (until) wenger(Wenger) leaves our beloved club (club.)
    I have already started to cry reading your shite post and seeing the depths of ignorance you and some so called supporters have mined! Try returning to keystage 3 and actually listening this time….Emma JoJo!!!!

  • Menace

    I’m not sure what you were watching last season but we had loads of strikers with placards in the ems. They didn’t score. Proof that strikers do not mean goals!!

    😉 😉 😉

  • Yommex

    The way I see it is that quite a number of these Wenger critics really don’t care about the club. Deep down inside of them, they don’t want Arsenal to win anything so that they can continue to bash the manager and the club.
    A few years ago, the mantra was that Arsenal had not won any trophy for donkey years and Liverpool that had never won the Premiership title were never castigated. After the FA Cup was won twice on the bounce, it became an unimportant trophy since it was Arsenal that won it.
    As it is, even if Arsenal should win the Premiership title, there will be moaning as regards the margin of their victories, how they did not dominate the oppositions, how weak all the oppositions suddenly became and many more.
    If a new striker is acquired, they will moan about him not being the right one, how Wenger has become rubbish at identifying a good striker or how stupid the striker is to ever agree to come to arsenal knowing fully well that Arsenal never win anything. All these before he ever gets to play a match for the club

  • Leon

    Beware the blog police, especially if English is not your first language.

  • Gord

    Why do you come to this site Leon?

    You have blurbs of data, and shit. We don’t need the shit.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    A big, burly man knocked on the door of the pastor’s house one day and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman known for her charity work and her love for the poor and helpless.

    The woman opened the door and saw the man had tears streaming down his face.

    “Oh, whatever is the matter?” she cried out.

    “I come to you today, dear woman, for the purposes of doing charity and good work,” said the man in a hopeless voice.

    “Come in, come in!” The woman admitted him inside and they sat in her living room.

    “Madam,” said the man in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400.”

    “How terrible!” exclaimed the preacher’s wife. “May I ask who you are?”

    The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. “I’m the landlord,” he sobbed.

  • jimi

    its easy for fans living in the bubble to think arsenal is a local club {which for all intents and purposes it may be}. from a strictly business perspective, the best brand is always more attractive but from a fan perspective, the best brand is the winning brand…which brings me to my point… arsenal has been losing rather than gaining support in many parts of the world due to the inability to win major trophies, with this disillusionment beginning in times like this when the apparent problem areas are not being addressed with any amount of urgency – what with the season beginning a couple of weeks away

  • Jimi it would be helpful to know the source of your assertion that “arsenal has been losing rather than gaining support in many parts of the world due to the inability to win major trophies”. Leaving aside the issue of whether two FA Cup wins are major trophies or not, we have had this comment many times before, and I’ve never been able to get evidence that holds up.

    We know a lot about Arsenal Belgium on this site of course, and my understanding from the President is that numbers are very much on the up. About four years ago a writer from Arsenal Norway told us that they had lost most of their membership, and that these people would not return until Wenger left. But when I met up with some members of the Arsenal Norway club they told me that their club was as buoyant as ever and their view was that the support of Arsenal in the country was stronger than ever.

    As you will know, I am sure, this is a site that likes evidence, so it would be good to hear what your evidence is.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    And I’ll vouch for all the Malaysian AKBs , that we are very happy with the direction and progress being shown by the club .
    You can equivocally quote me on that , even though I may not have consulted anyone ! Nor has anyone voted me as their spokesperson !

  • Andy Mack

    It may be true that a few fans have changed allegiance away from us, but in my experience when travelling I’m seeing more and more AFC shirts around Europe/Asia.
    From what I’ve seen, it’s only in certain areas is it considered remotely acceptable to change teams.

  • Hi Berry

    Good post Leon….omgarsenal’s rant is on a par with Matt Lucas in Little Britain not understanding the Indian lady at a ‘Fatfighters’ meeting. Now we are out of Europe perhaps Untold can have a referendum to see whether posters from oversees are welcome on this site if they don’t speak English proper like what I do.

  • Menace

    Gord – You summed up Leons verbage exactly.

  • Brickfields Gunners

    I would love to see how a referendumb is conducted and carried out on here to see who is welcome and who should exit UA ! Why not make it into a reality show ?
    Will there be an extensive aptitude test to see if the voters are fit and proper to cast their lots ? I do really hope so . Please also do get a detailed account of their level of education and at the very least a ball park figure of their IQs .

    The last referendum was maybe not too well thought out and some of the voters may not have understood the issues at hand . Like this young lady .