The Transfer Index: 92 players rumoured to be joining Arsenal, new West Ham competition, Wenger’s replacement

 
By Ima Counter, Professor of Numerological Sciences, University of UnCertain Things, Penzance.

Hi and welcome to the totally reformed Arsenal Transfer Index.  Two big changes you will see now I’ve taken over:

Last time around we had a competition in which the idea was to use the letter S P U R S in that order to make a suitable phrase.  Lots and lots of entries and the winner came from Brickfields Gunners

Superior
Performances
Unfailingly
Renders
St. Totteringham’s Day

All of them were funny, and if you missed them well worth a read .

Now a new competition: make up a phrase that starts with the letters WESTHAM in that order.  Here’s mine but you can do much, much better.

Wildly
Excitable
Stadium
Thieves
Have
Absolute
Myopia

What strikes me this week is the arrival of Alex Oxlade Chamberlain in the departures lounge – apparently he is off to Manchester City.   This ploy – finding a player who is really coming to the top of his game, and immediately predicting he is leaving, is so obvious that it hardly bears consideration, but if you do consider it you will see the same process.

  • 1: Arsenal give unknown young player a game – player is highly criticised.
  • 2: Young player makes progress and a few start to notice him.
  • 3: Young player hits top form.
  • 4: Story is that Barcelona or Manchester Airport have made a bid, turned the player’s head and he’s off.
  • 5: The move doesn’t happen but the undermining of Arsenal goes on.

Meanwhile, no change in the summary of activity so far according to The Transfer Centre –

Coming in (4)

At the arrivals gate Initial Fee
Granit Xhaka £26,700,000
Kelechi Nwakali £3,000,000
Rob Holding £2,000,000
Takuma Asano £800,000
Total Spent £32,500,000

Going away (5)

Departure Initial Fee
Isaac Hayden £2,500,000
Wellington Silva Free
Tomás Rosický Released
Mikel Arteta Released
Mathieu Flamini Released
Total Received £2,500,000

Now the glorious Index for this week…

  • Players coming in newly listed this week: 6
  • Total incoming players: 92
  • Total leaving players: 22
  • Players leaving newly listed this week: 1
  • Total number of coaching staff changes: 5
  • Newly listed coaching staff leaving: 1
  • Newly listed coaching staff coming in: 1

Compared with the Accuracy Index (our second new feature).

  • Percentage of incoming players predicted who have actually arrived: 4.35%
  • Percentage of outgoing players predicted who have actually left: 4,.55%

As always, the newcomers and significant changes are in bold.

Part One: Players coming in.  New entries and significant changes are in bold.

Player Position From Current status Also interested
1 Takuma Asano (浅野拓磨) Forward Sanfrecce Hiroshima is 21 and has played 50 times Signed
2 Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Forward B. Dortmund Being urged to leave Man U
3 Carlos Bacca 49 goal striker Milan We’re hijacking the deal! Arsenal seen off WHU
4 Michy Batshuayi Striker Marseille £22m asking price Chelsea
5 Riechedly Bazoer Cen mid. Ajax Barcelona, Chelsea, Man U, Tottenham
6 Medhi Benatia Centre back Bayern 29 years old prone to injury
7 Christian Benteke Striker Liverpool? Only done one year at Liverpool?
8 Gabriel Barbosa Santos 54 goals in 148 appearances
9 Rodrigo Bentancur Midfield Boca Juniors Real Mad, Juve
10 Karim Benzema Striker Real Mad Involved in court case
11 Daley Blind Defence Man U
12 Sofiane Boufal Forward Lille £25m after one year in France Barcelona, Chelsea and Atletico Madrid
13 William Carvalho Def mid Sporting Lisbon
14 Edinson Cavani Striker PSG He’d like to come
15 Ben Chilwell Left-back Leicester “Arsenal monitoring”
16 Troy Deeney Striker Watford WFC captain
17 Jason Denayer Defender Man C £10m
18 Julian Draxler Left wing Wolfsburg who say he’s going nowhere £43m offer made. No, £54m Liverpool sniffing but that’s what they do
19 Jonny Evans Defender Was Man U, now WBA £15m offer made
20 Matthias Ginter centre back Borussia Dortmund
21 Mario Götze Attack midfield Bayern Munich Flopped after Dortmund Liverpool.  Gone to BvB
22 Goncalo Guedas Wing Benfica Next C Ronaldo Chelsea
23 Raphaël Guerreiro Left-backmidfield Lorient
24 Alen Halilovic. Attack midfield Barcelona Last season loan to Sporting Gijon,
25 Marek Hamsik Attack midfield Napoli His father is demanding more money
26 Rico Henry Full back Walsall Next Ashley Cole
27 Gonzalo Higuain Striker Napoli £79m but no offer made Man U, Liverpool?  Went to Juve
28 Rob Holding Winger Bolton £1.5m already signed Has is signed or not???
29 Elseid Hysaj Right back Napoli Staying at Napoli
30 Zlatan Ibrahimovic Striker PSG Self proclaimed God Went to Man U
31 Mauro Icardi Striker Inter £32m bid made deal very close Wife says they need the money.  Club says it wants €60 million
32 Odion Ighalo Striker Watford
33 Chiori Johnson Defender Aged 18, Signed pro forms
34 Jorginho “Strongest midfielder” Napoli Neil Banfield likes him
35 Stevan Jovetic 2nd striker Inter 1st mooted two years ago
36 N’Golo Kante Midfield Leicester Won the most tackles  Done Deal but not with AFC
37 Naby Keita Central mid Red Bull Salzburg
38 Toni Kroos No 10 Real Madrid £45m
39 Grzegorz Krychowiak Midfield destroyer Sevilla Another done deal elsewhere
40 Kalidou Koulibaly centre back Napoli Signed and Sealed but… Dependent on Chambers going.  Arsenal at the front of the queue
41 Alexandre Lacazette Forward Lyon French League top scorer 2014.15 To WHU or Arsenal for€50m
42 Robert Lewandowski Striker Bayern About to break the bank
43 Jordon Lukaku Left back Oostende Told Mr Wenger how to manage!
44 Romelu Lukaku Striker Everton Broke Everton’s PL scoring record Offer of £38m made
45 Mario Mandzukic Forward Juventus He has emerged as an option
46 Sadio Mane Winger Southampton BBC say he’s gone to Liverpool
47 Kostas Manolas Centre back Roma for £38m deal agreed? Maybe to Chelsea
48 Maycon Midfield Corinthians new Ronaldo or Neymar or both.  Or neither.
49 Marquinhos Defender PSG His brother says AFC want him Man U Man C  Chelsea and Bayern Munich
50 Riyad Mahrez Wing Leicester £25m Considered him while at Le Havre AFC fans demand action for him on Twatter
51 Kostas Mitroglou Striker Benfica “Happy in Portugal”
52 Arkadiusz Milik Striker Ajax
53 Henrikh Mkhitaryan Midfield B Dortmund Went to Man U Liverpool! Chelsea, Tottenham
54 Alvaro Morata Striker Juventus (loan) Real Mad “About to happen” Snubbing Chelsea for Arsenal
55 Jeison Murillo Central defender Inter Columbian Talks have started Bayern Munich and Zenit
56 Shkodran Mustafi . Defender Valencia Anything between £20m and £33m
57 Ruben Neves Defend midfield Porto
58 Nolito Striker Celta Vigo £13.8m buy out clause.  Done deal elsewhere
59 Kelechi Nwakali Midfield Diamond  Academy Already joined for £3m WHU, Bayern, Chelsea, Man U Liverpool?
60 Philipp Ochs Midfield Hoffenheim 19 year old
 61 Oguzhan Ozyakup Midfield Besiktas In the 2009 AFC Youth Cup side Won the Turkish league in 2016; will cost £16.8m
62 Bruno Peres Full back Torino £16.9m
63 Quincy Promes Winger Spartak Moscow
64 Domingos Quina Midfield Chelsea
65 Adrien Rabiot Midfield PSG Asked for a move, not liked by fans Chelsea, Man U
66 Rafinha RB Bayern Munich Metro utterly certain
67 Jese Rodriguez Forward Real Mad Surplus to requirements
68 Ricardo Rodriguez Left back Wolfsburg £20m
69 Maxi Romero Forward All Boys, Argentina The new Messi We were going to sign him last year but he got injured
70 Daniele Rugani Centre back Juventus Can’t get a game. Man U, Everton, Napoli
71 Erik Tobias Sandberg Defender Norwegian schoolboy Under 17 Man U
72 Riccardo Saponara Attack midfield Empoli Liverpool?
73 Ryan Sessegnon Winger Fulham Liverpool?
74 Djibril Sidibé Full back & midfield Lille Cover at full back “Now gone to Monaco, Arsenal too slow”
75 Moussa Sissoko midfield Newcastle £35m  Sun now says “very likely”
76 Islam Slimani Striker £23.25m Sporting Lisbon £23.25m Tottenham, Leicester
77 Dominic Solanke striker Chelsea Chelsea want to keep him Arsenal preparing to steal him
78 John Stones CB Everton
79 Daniel Sturridge Striker Liverpool? “Will reportedly…” “Tried last year”
80 Neven Subotic Defender Borussia Dortmund Has left training to talk to Arsenal
81 Yaya Toure C Mid Man City
82 Arda Turan Attack midfield Barcelona 29, and wants to stay Struggled at Barca
83 Robin van Persie Forward Fenerbache “We’re waiting for buyers”
84 Jamie Vardy Forward Leicester £20m Signed but kept it a secret or he’s off to Liverpool.
85 Thomas Vermaelen Centre defence Barcelona He’s fit again
86 Victor Wanyama Def. midf. Southampton  Done deal elsewhere.
87 Julian Weigl Midf. Borussia Dortmund £20 million
88 Granit Xhaka Defend/ midfield Monchengladbac “Deal done”  He signed. Chelsea were rivals but failed.
89 Andriy Yarmolenko Winger Dynamo Kiev Tottenham Liverpool
90 Wissam Ben Yedder Striker Sevilla  WHAM, Totts, Leicester
91 Simone Zaza Forward Juventus
92 Karl Zouma Keeper Chelsea
 
Part Two Departures
1 Alexis Forward Juventus bids made Asking for transfer Agent trying to get move
2 Arteta End of  career
3 Bellerin Full back Barcelona Now mulling over Man C deal But also denied
4 Joel Campbell West Ham But he wants to stay and fight for his place
5 Chambers Centre back Southampton or Watford? 1 year loan?
6 Debuchy Been on loan
7 Mat Flamini midfield End of contract The last Highbury player to leave AFC
8 Kieran Gibbs Defend Unhappy
9 Olivier Giroud Forward Napoli Part exchange “We’ve never talked to Napoli”
10 Isaac Hayden Centre back Newcastle
11 Laurent Koscielny Defend Bayern Contract talks stalled? End of contract? Not end of contract
12 Per Mertesacker Defend Considering his future But got injured in pre-season
13 David Ospina Goal Besiktas
 14 Alex Oxlade-Chamberlaine Attack midf. Manchester City Currently in the best form of his life
15 Rosicky End of contract
16 Santi Cazorla Mid/For Back to Villareal
17 Mesut Ozil Midfield Delayed talks
18 Jon Toral Midfield To Granada
19 W. Szczesny Goal Roma Happy in Rome Returning to AFC.  No, staying as part of Manolas deal.  No staying on loan
20 Theo Walcott Wing State Aid Utd or Liverpool? £20m On the verge; or maybe not going
21 Wellington Silva Fluminense on four-year deal
22 Jack Wilshere Midfield Man U They will build the team around him
  Part Three: Coaching
1 Adam Birchall Lead Development Phase coach  Works with under 16s
2 Thierry Henry Under 18 Left over TV issue
3 Tony Adams Under 18 5 week trial  He left after a couple of weeks.
4 Arsene Wenger  Manager In one year… Will be replaced by …
5 Eddie Howe Manager In one year… Replacing AW
Part Four: Up from the youth
Krystian Bielik Defender Arsenal Given no 37
1 Stefan O’Conner Defender was with York To Maastricht
2 Gedion Zelalem Attack mid Arsenal Loaned to Rangers
3 Chris Willock Attack midf. Arsenal Played in U21s.  Given no 59
4 Jeff Reine-Adélaïde Wing Arsenal Moving into first team
 5  Matt Macey  Goal Arsenal Moving into first team squad?  Allocated no 49
5: Players going on loan
Dan Crowley Midfield Arsenal Coventry Actually gone to Oxford
6: Young Players leaving
Ilias Chatzitheodoridis U-18 no new contract
7: Players signing pro forms
Donyell Malen
Tyrell Robinson West Ham
Joshua DaSilva  .

And there we have it.  We really might make the 100 transfer rumours by the day on which the window slams shut, breaks the glass and allows players to continue to crawl through unnoticed.

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34 Replies to “The Transfer Index: 92 players rumoured to be joining Arsenal, new West Ham competition, Wenger’s replacement”

  1. When I posted in Untold the use of “SPURS” as a sentence I did not present it as a ‘Competition’ it was in line with the bloggette which a humorous bloggette. So was the ”SPURS” post of mine.

    S P U R S

    In future please do not lower the standard of untold by claiming something which is not true. Thank you.

    If you believe that ‘Brickfields won this competition then to be in line with the high standards of publishing that Untold holds you should send Brickfields the winner’s prize of at least £1000.

    Any amount less would be an insult to the high standards of Untold and an insult to Bricksfields

    I have already presented this I do it again for the benefit of any spuds readers who may have missed it
    A R S E N A L

    A rsene’s

    R esolve

    S uits

    E very

    N own*

    A rsenal

    L over.

    * Yes I do know that the word begins with a ‘k’ and the ‘k’ is not sounded. I said this when I first placed it in Untold.

  2. On second thoughts Colario you are right. I’ve given Ima the sack and will recruit a new correspondent to run the Index through the remaining weeks of the increasingly eccentric Window business.

  3. Bricksfields. With a £1 000 pounds from Untold, now say you don’t have any spare cash to buy me a drink!

  4. W E S T H A M

    Not very good but I have given it a go.

    W etspam

    E asily

    S teal

    T he

    H ype

    A nd

    M oney.

  5. Tony,
    Could I register a plea for the reinstatement of Ima.
    If I may say so, there has been far too little feminine input in Untold, right from its inception.
    On behalf of all crumblies who daily rely on this site for entertainment, please do not remove this fresh source of fantasy.
    It’s surely not much to ask. 😉

  6. Never in my life have I been so deeply touched by the response to a single message sent by me … I had sent the above message of my win to 20 friends …all Spuds fans , thinking that they would be more than happy for me .

    After all, when one wins a prestigious award from The Untold Arsenal Blog , possibly amounting to 1,000 Pounds (?) , I felt that they too would be ecstatic, instead these are the replies that I received !

    13 offered free sex by responding, “F#@K YOU!”

    4 offered free advice towards a healthy sex life by responding, “GO F#@K YOURSELF!”

    The remaining 3 enquired after my sexual well-being by asking, “ARE YOU F#@KING MAD?”

    PS – Charles , your half of the award will be in the mail , soon after I get my , …sorry our windfall ! Look out for it !

  7. Ben Yedder (90) has only just moved to Sevilla, so hardly likely to move again.

    Probably not a wise idea to write the purchase price of our ‘incoming’ as they’re bound to be different depending on where you read them (e.g. transferleague says Xhaka cost £33.8m), unless you have an unimpeachable source.

  8. Brickfields Gunners
    August 2, 2016 at 9:19 am

    You more than deserve your £1000 prize. Just a drink will do! 🙂 🙂

  9. Amazing, but only 29 days left to reach 100 players linked!

    When
    Expecting
    Some
    Trophies
    Here
    Are
    Malarkey

  10. We have a winner right here folks ! Damn , why didn’t I think of that ?
    Well done Kenneth !

  11. If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America, because he would have had to answer all the following questions:

    • Where are you going?
    • With whom?
    • Why?
    • How are you going?
    • To discover what?
    • Why only you?
    • What do I do when you are not here?
    • Can I come with you?
    • When will you be back?
    • You deliberately made this plan without me, didn’t you?
    • You seem to be making a lot of these programs lately…
    • Answer me – why?
    • I want to go to my mother’s house.
    • I want you to drop me there.
    • I don’t want to come back – ever!
    • What do you mean, OK?
    • Why aren’t you stopping me?
    • I don’t understand what this whole ‘discovery’ thing is about.
    • You always do things like this.
    • Last time you also did the same thing!
    • Nowadays you always seem to do this kind of stuff.
    • I still don’t understand what else is left to be discovered!

    Have you experienced these questions??
    If yes, YES! YOU ARE MARRIED

  12. With the Summer Games coming up shortly, here is a piece of history.

    Greek History

    2500 years ago a slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee (pronounced Get-offa’-me) was attending the first athletic festival in Greece.This festival had no name.

    In those days the athletes performed naked.

    To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on a drink, containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.

    At the opening ceremonial parade of this first great event, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked athletic males marching toward her and she exclaimed: “Oh! Limp pricks!”

    Over the next two and a half millennia that expression morphed into “Olympics”.

    Just thought I’d share this new found knowledge with you.

  13. My nephew little spud says brick is word for prick and run away laughing. Now I laugh too.

  14. Always liked Vermaelen…but really cannot see it, nor am I convinced he works too well with Kos….but if out CMs are instructed to shield the defence a bit more in some games than maybe they did in TVs time, then who knows……

  15. Seven leadership principles to learn from an eagle

    (1) Eagles fly alone and at high altitudes.
    They don’t fly with sparrows or other small birds.

    Stay away from (narrow minded people) sparrows and ravens, those that bring you down.
    Eagles fly with Eagles. Keep good company.

    (2) Eagles have an accurate vision. They have the ability to focus on something as far as 5km.
    No matter the obstacles, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.

    Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacle and you will succeed.

    (3) Eagles do not eat dead things. They feed only on fresh prey.

    Do not rely on your past success, keep looking for new frontiers to conquer. Leave your past where it belongs, in the past.

    (4) Eagles love the storm. When clouds gather, the eagles get excited. The eagle uses the storm’s wind to lift it higher. Once it finds the wind of the storm, the eagles uses the raging storm to lift him above the clouds. This gives the eagle an opportunity to glide and rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees.

    Face your challenges knowing that these will make you emerge stronger and better than you were. We can use the storms of life to rise to greater heights. Achievers are not afraid of challenges rather they relish them and use them profitably.

    (5) When a female eagle meets a male and they want to mate, she flies down to earth with the male pursing her and she picks a twig. She flies back into the air with the male pursuing her.
    Once she has reached a height high enough for her, she lets the twig fall to the ground and watches it as it falls. The male chases after the twig. The faster it falls, the faster he chases until he reaches it and has to catch it before it falls to the ground, then bring it back to the female eagle.

    The female eagle grabs the twig and flies to a much higher altitude, and then drops the twig for the male to chase.
    This goes on for hours, with the height increasing until the female eagle is assured that the male eagle has mastered the art of picking the twig which shows commitment, then and only then, will she allow him to mate with her!

    Whether in private life or in business, one should test commitment of people intended for partnership.

    (6) Eagles prepare for training. They remove the feathers and soft grass in the nest so that the young get uncomfortable in preparation for flying.

    Leave your comfort zone, there is no growth there.

    (7) When the Eagle grows old, his feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast as he should.
    When he feels weak and about to die, he retires to a place far away in the rocks.
    While there, he plucks out every feather on his body until he is completely bare. He stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers then he can come out.

    We occasionally need to shed off old habits, things that burden us, or add no value to our lives.

    Yes eagles never give up …

    So keep moving.

    Oh ,I almost forgot …eagles learn from their elders and superiors and not from their juvenile spud nephews!

  16. ‘Ludos nonullos possum ludere, sed officia plora habeo primum agere.’

  17. @ Kenneth Widmerpool – August 2, 2016 at 3:53 pm – Gratias tibi !

  18. Brickfields
    I see Arsenal as an eagle which is why we will always be superior to our chicken neighbors.

  19. And since we are on the subject of pricks , here is a sad tale of one of ‘them’ …lets call him ‘w’, who got married to what he thought was an innocent belle .That was his spud nephew told him ; but unbeknownst to the fool , money had changed hands .

    On the wedding night , the bride shyly told her new husband ,” My mother told me that tonight , you will take out your penis and consummate our marriage , and that I was not to be afraid . But I am nervous as I don’t know what a penis is or what ‘to consummate ‘ means .”

    When he heard this he was so pleased that his wife had less sexual experience than himself. Him always having taken ‘matters into his own hand’ all these years !

    So he opened his pants and proudly exposed his rising tumescence to his bride .But it soon deflated just as quickly when he heard her excitedly exclaim , ” Oh , now I understand , we are going to fuck , and a penis is just like a prick …., only very much smaller !”

    And that was the last we ever heard of ‘w’ and his spud nephew !

  20. As I bid you all goodnight , here is a wise old saying well worth contemplating ….

    ‘ vir prudens non contra ventum mingit’

    A wise man does not urinate [up] against the wind.

    Am sure that some of you would not agree with me , and click the DISLIKE button , but at least give it a try to prove me wrong ! It’s not as if you’d get egg on your faces !

  21. Missus say Prickfield good for brick with no humour. Nephew loves that. I say Brick lighten his load and humble like pebble. Too old to change like his leader.

  22. W……Westham
    E………Enjoying

    S…….. Stadium

    T……..Through

    H……..human effort

    A…….. And

    M……Money

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