By Sir Hardly Anyone
In previous summers we have ended up with a list of players who are leaving the club, a list which incorporates virtually all players regular first team players and the subs. Of course only a few of them have gone, and in the end the exercise of collecting everyone’s name has looked a little futile.
And so this year I have laid off creating the Leavers List, only to find that the number of players being nominated as arriving is so vast that we will most certainly have to get rid of a lot to make room for the newcomers.
Inded in our last analysis 89 players were said to be arriving. And just in the few days since the last list was published we have added seven players more, and at this rate we will, for the first time ever in the years we have been collecting this data, reach 100 players tipped to sign BEFORE THE WINDOW CREAKS OPEN. (Creaks is very important here – the window creaks open and SLAMS shut. Journalists are drilled in these points for months by their fussy editors).
So who is leaving – according to the know it all media.
Aubameyang: Everyone says he is not only off but “desperate to leave” in a phrase utilised to knock Arsenal over and over. This behaviour by journalists actually reminds me of my children who all went through a phase of seriously believing that all the other 13 and 14 year olds were allowed to stay up to the early hours watching TV, go to all night parties at the weekend, and have alcohol with their evening meals. They too were desperate to leave home, until they did leave at which point they couldn’t get back fast enough to get some proper meals.
Guendouzi: he is off for the appalling crime of being lively, boisterous and annoying the manager. We are told this by the Daily Star and Football London.
Kolasinac: A lot of talk about him being off to Inter,
Lacazette: “Arsenal consider swapping Alexandre Lacazette for Atletico Madrid midfielder Thomas Lemar” was the Metro’s take, while there was a period when the Arsenal in Chaos stories circulated saying that Arsenal could be left without an experienced centre forward next season. The Metro later said Arsenal consider swapping Alexandre Lacazette for Atletico Madrid midfielder Thomas Lemar.
Maitland Niles is one of those players who have been tipped to be on the way out for getting on for a season. Mind you if I were called an “academy product” I think I’d fancy moving on. Pain in the Arsenal says that “he has only himself to blame” which seems trifle harsh. AC Milan are said to fancy taking him on.
Mustafi: The curious thing here is that most teams in Europe rate Mustafi highly, and simply shake their heads in disbelief that Arsenal would want to get rid of him. It would be hard however not to understand if Mustafi said he wanted to leave after what the media and the AAA have done to him. AC Milan are said to be after him according to TDfichajes.
The problem is other players have seen the way a very solid and competent defender has been undermined by endless harping of the press and some fans too, and that makes recruitment all the harder.
Ozil: Everyone but everyone says that Ozil is leaving, although apart from a feeling that he might go to one of the leading Turkish clubs there is not much on the cards as to where.
Sokratis. According to Newsbytesap and others he is off the AS Roma.
Torreira: He’s been tipped to be off to South America because he can’t stand the way things are done in England. However the latest report from HITC is that he is back fit and raring to go. The Metro said, “Torreira will not ‘force’ a move away from Arsenal this summer and will leave the club to decide his future. The Uruguayan came close to leaving the Emirates last summer.”
Granit Xhaka agrees deal to leave Arsenal and sign for Hertha Berlin. Apparently he’s had enough of Arsenal and his agent has confirmed the deal. The problem is that he has been so heavily criticised by the press and the fans that his value has dropped considerably and Arsenal won’t get enough to buy anyone else.
And a word on the Captain
Hector Bellerin will be club captain if Aubameyang goes, according to football London.
Anyway that is eleven players leaving. Not as many as last summer’s prediction, but we still have the whole transfer window to go yet.
- Have Arsenal really fallen apart as the media insist?
- Which Premier League club is in the greatest financial trouble?
- Another huge football scandal – and why the mass media in England won’t cover it
- Arsenal transfer list reaches 89 players with over 3 weeks to go before window opens!
