Manchester City discover a new way to manipulate the transfer market


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Tucked away among all the excitement of the Tiny Totts finally managing to do what we’ve been doing every year for the past ten years was the curious tale of a transfer protection racket being operated by Manchester City

appy arry the Red said that the Tinites attempt to sign Craig Bellamy in January 2009 came up against a barrier when Manchester Arab said that if they (the Tinies) continued to peek at Bellamy out of the corner of their eyes, then the Arabs would hijack the transfer of Wilson Palacios to the Tinies.

In the end Bellamy went to the Arabs and two days later Palacios went to the Tinies.

Several things are of interest here.  Most pertinently, if it is true, and we only have Arrys word for it – although I know that is of course something of a gold standard these days – then what the Arabs are trying to do is not just buy who they want, but manipulate the whole transfer market world-wide.

Now that is quite a trick if they can pull it off, and shows just how out of balance football is.  In the UK we are protected from this type of predatory behaviour by the actions of the Monopolies Commission which ensures that if any one gets 30% of a market they also get investigated.

I am not quite sure how this can be arranged in the UK, but I suppose the 25 player rule is a start.

The KGB in Fulham have been doing their manipulating too of course, moving young players here and there are getting involved in tapping up scandals vis a vis Arsenal, the Tiny Totts (again) and clubs with young players anywhere in the world.

Indeed so successful have the KGB been in bringing in young players they have announced that from next season they are going to “do an Arsenal” and play their youth team in the Tiddly Cup.  Nemanja Matic (who I don’t think is actually a young player – but I don’t really keep tabs on these things) Fabio Borini, Gaël Kakuta, Jeffrey Bruma, Patrick van Aanholt… these are the names they are shouting about in the Kings Road (or maybe what I heard were just the grunts of incoherence that emanate from that part of the world), but I don’t think any of them qualify for local status.

Anyway Arry spoiled his story and bit by going on to boast that he almost signed Vieira from Inter.  He (Arry) is quoted as saying that, “One of the all-time great Arsenal players wanting to come here was a brave move on his part, and it was a bold move on my part to want to bring him here.”

I love Vieira, and was there when he made his first appearance.  I can even claim to have turned to my mate Roger and proclaimed his magnificence after five minutes of the first game (a one-off accurate prophecy for me) but I have to say I thought he looked fairly knackered and gone for Man City when they came to the Ems.

So anyway, Vieira didn’t go to the High Road.  But the story from Arry is reminiscent of the days when the Tinies, having failed to sign anyone for a few weeks, the manager came out and said, “Here is a list of players we almost signed this week.”  I think it was Hoddle but they have so many managers there it is hard to remember.

Bearing the history in mind, maybe the Bellamy story is not true and just part of Arry’s fantasy land.  But if it were true, then first it must have really buggered Arry to find that the brown envelope didn’t work (not that I make any allegations and I have no special knowledge of any wrong doing, and I am happy for the court to decide in the coming weeks if Arry has been up to no good or not).

Still, in human property terms the Arabs are having a bad time of it.  They thought they had got Robinho only to find that Pele’s assessment that the player needed psychiatric and addiction help appeared to be true.  They thought they had a boss who kept winning the Italian league, only to find that actually he’d only won it because the top clubs were either kicked out of the league or had points deductions for match fixing.  They thought they had a manager and got Hughes.  They thought they had a forward and got Adebayor.    It is a story of how not to do it.

Meanwhile in a different world, Marouane Chamakh has told L’Equipe that he’s on his way to us in 10 days time when the French season ends.  He also says that there were offers from Liverpool and Tottenham – the former being interested presumably because all they can now do is sign players on a free, the latter because Arry was trying to bugger up our signing of him.

On the other hand, and according to the ever reliable English press Lukasz Fabianski is off to Blackburn, while Joe Hart and Gianlugi Buffon are coming our way. William Gallas won’t talk to anyone, Mikaël Silvestre is going to become part of the coaching staff (actually that’s my view, its not in the press) and Sol Campbell has been a bloody revelation and could stay in a combination of coaching and stand by in case of accidents.

The Lord Wenger is clearly aware of what is going on with the likes of Manchester City and the rest.  He is quoted as saying, “It is not any more as it was 15 or 20 years ago – everybody knows everybody now. It is more about shrewd buying now in taking a gamble than in discovering somebody.”

Overall, if Arry’s story is true (and there is a first for everything of course) then it really does explain all the comings and goings and not comings and not goings in football.  It is not impossible to believe that the Arabs employ someone who scours the press and blogs, looks for the person that Wenger is going to sign, and then signs him.

So on that basis….

I would like to inform Manchester City that Arsene Wenger is about to sign

  • Heurelho Gomes,
  • Gareth Bale,
  • Younes Kaboul,
  • Michael Dawson,
  • Ledley King,
  • Benoit Assou-Ekotto,
  • Tom Huddlestone,
  • Aaron Lennon
  • David Bentley
  • Luka Modric
  • Wilson Palacios
  • Peter Crouch
  • Jermain Defoe
  • Roman Pavlyuchenko

(c) The Marchioness of Rutland 2010

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Nor is this

20 Replies to “Manchester City discover a new way to manipulate the transfer market”

  1. LOL Tony, that last part really made me laugh.

    And even in my French Chamakh is our player next season. But don’t say it out to loud as maybe City will hijack him or try to do. I think Arsenal, as ever, wanted to do the things correct and had agreed not to make it public before the end of our and the French season.

  2. boy, i really hope the last part is true and Man City would buy them all

  3. Loic Remy seems to want an Arsenal move.. So im expecting spurs and mincecity to make a bid for him imminently lol

  4. shameless mancity your money has done nothing where ar u now Adebayor,Tevez,Bellamy,Toure,Lescot Phillips and Viera to me ManCity they did a very big mistake to fire their MANAGER Mark Hughes and striker Robinho

  5. any body remember damien commolli?
    that was how spurs put together the team that beat us

  6. Hey Walter, if City will be investing endless $’s in players, and the club’s intention to be big time GLOBALLY – the best players won’t make the move to play for a manager with no credentials. Hughes was only a local favorite, NEVER the quality that big clubs find necessary to steer the ship.

    Robinho had problems b4 arriving at City. SAF did not favor Tevez, even when Tevez out performed their other strikers, he was given little respect (except by the fans). Mancini will want to build his own team, not be forced to utilize Hughes selections.

  7. Now this is annoying Tony as it seems there is another Walter on the site.

  8. Wouldn’t say no to Huddlestone, Gomes and Dawson, it has to be said.

    I guess they won’t be signing Torres in the summer anyway. The Blue Moons, that is.

  9. I’m just wondering. If City are the Arabs and Chelsea the KGB why don’t you go the whole hog and start calling Spurs the Jews? This is really turning into quite a horrible little xenophobic blog, it seemed childish at first but the way you keep bringing Arabs and KGB into make it seem like you really take issue with these countries.

    If ownership is a stick to beat someone with then maybe I can say that you being owned by Arsenal Holdings must make you Arse-Holes then I suppose.

  10. @ Joe,

    you seemingly keep coming on here like a troll spewing hate and negative comments. If you really can’t stand this site as much as you keep on saying why don’t you just JOG ON!! No one wants you here, its surprising that you dislike the site and what it stands for so much but you CONSTANTLY are reading it and are commenting on it………you are a very strange person!!

  11. i think we should also mention that silveste has been our best player of the season and we’re willing to sell him to city for a lowly 15million lol!

  12. I’m sure citeh will want to do such business dutchgunner…they seem to have an eye for talent lmao

  13. Matthew B and Maverick.

    While you may not like it when you are the butt of the joke, at least my post was kind of on the article above. Yours are both pointless sniping it would seem. I would be careful or you might find those posts removed!

    It’s also amusing that I have read articles against the press here that seemed to not like Wenger being referred to as ‘the frenchman’ when he gets things wrong. Why oh why must do you feel the need to lower yourselves to their level? There are obviously some very clever people here but I suppose it’s pack mentality when you have no one to disagree with you, easy to get carried away I suppose, but rather unhealthy.

  14. @ Joe,

    What did i say that was sniping, all i said is that if you don’t like other peoples views simply don’t view it you seem obsessed with causing negativity and uproar, you seem to be one of these people that seem to like attention even if it is bad. Why don’t you go elsewhere if you don’t like Arsenal or Wenger or this site………i just don’t understand that mentality!!

  15. I think its a bit rich that you are critizing Harry Redknapp for making all these claims of ‘almost’ signing players when “Lord Wenger” does it as well.

    I agree with Joe, its rude to refer to clubs by the nationalities of their ownership. Not all city fans are arab, so why are you refering to them like that. It just dilutes your point.

  16. Nice one Tony – but didn’t AW do a reverse con in praising and showing intrest in Chris Smalling only for Man Ure and SAF to fall for it and buy him for 10 Million quid.His displays thereafter were dreadful(remember the Chelski game -an own goal and conceding a penalty ) – best of luck to them .He may well go the way of Forlan (waylaid on the way to M’boro )and Veron ( Chelski were conned too).
    Arsenal and Liverpool were conned many years ago by the talents of Jimmy Carter (no ,not the peanut farmer/President ).George Graham and Graeme Sourness were the respective managers then.

  17. Intriguing: Rumour has it (here in Oz) that Arsenal are about to sign one James Bond and Simon Templer. Now there must be some truth here because up until now they had never heard of these guys and only just discovered that Arsenal is infact a tube station somewhere in London and Ian Flemming is about to become Britains next Prime Minister…well they`ve had an election mate. Hang on to your British passport Jack, you may need it.

  18. I am really surprised Joe that you don’t understand the point about nicknames.

    From the start I evolved a few nicknames for clubs, and admitted in the texts that it was childish, but said that in a sense the constant support for one’s club has childish elements in it. Chelsea became KGB in Fulham after they had a meeting with their fans reps, and then the minutes of the meeting eradicated some negative comments made by fans. The issue was reported in the Standard.

    But aligning Tottenham with Judaism is an utterly different matter, and as I noted above, it bemuses me that you don’t get this. There are, tragically, Arsenal supporters who sing anti-Semitic songs at away games – and I find that offensive (and to be clear I have no religion). Therefore pushing a nickname of that type would be much more offensive than the names I have come up with. The name Sheik Yermoney is an anglicisation of the name of a Saudi minister, and is a joke first used by Frank Zappa on an album years ago – I have not heard of anyone getting annoyed at this.

    The question is always, is the nationality, race or otherwise, central to the debate. In the case of the owners of Manchester City, I would say it was, because it is immediately linked to the ownership of the club. In the case of Fulham, of whom I have written often (given their huge historic link with Arsenal) I don’t see it, and I have never referred to their owner as anything other than by his proper name.

    What causes problems is when commentators slip into statements such as “typical Frenchie” or “typical Spaniard” and that can be offensive and cause anger and resentment because it tars everyone with the same brush just because they were born in a particular place. Renaming a club, rather than referring to an individual in this way, does seem to me to be different – although as is the case with Tottenham, one has to be sensitive.

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