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Football’s Prune of the Year Awards

By my thinking, Arsenal did quite well this year.  OK I have a load of criticisms about the running of the stadium, and I have dealt with these elsewhere, but to win the FA Cup and come 4th in the league, when faced with such an outbreak of injuries seems pretty good going to me.

On the TV front there were no own goals now that Robson doesn’t work for Arsenal TV anymore, no one made any really silly statements except for the occasional critic of Arsenal who came on this site without actually bothering to read about our evidence or who or what…

So yes, no real stupidities.

But of course there were elsewhere.  So here is a set of awards I’ve just made up for some of the silliest people in football.

1: The Prune Writer of the Year.  

Mark Ogden in the Daily Telegraph who said that this was the worst Man U team in living memory.  Obviously hasn’t lived very long.

Multiple negatives to the Daily Telegraph for not sacking him on the spot for gross incompetence, and negligence in terms of research.

Mind you, if he had been at Arsenal during the signing of “It’s happened again” he wouldn’t have got that either.

2: Prune Commentator of the Year

Adrian Chiles.  For his comment during Fulham v Sheffield United, “If you’re still watching, write in and we’ll send you a fiver each,” and for everything else that endlessly shows that he doesn’t have a clue as to what it is to be a real football supporter.  

And multiple negatives to ITV for continuing to employ him.

Thankfully I never heard Chiles do any commentary on Arsenal.

3: TV Prune Station of the Year

Sky Sports for allowing Jamie Carragher air time to discuss Arsenal.  This is the man who threw a coin at the crowd at Highbury, and should have been banned from the ground for life – but instead just got a three match ban.  To employ him as an expert is an insult to everyone who believes that throwing coins at football matches is wrong.

4: Pre-Match Prune of the Year

Everyone at BT Sports who giggled their way through much of Arsenal v Galatasaray because they were unable to calculate 1 +2.   It was a childish display which certainly alienated the judges (ie me) of the award as they laughed about the complexity of adding up 3 points for a win with one for each goal.

Thankfully they don’t have the rights to any Champions League games.

5: Prune Stadia of the Year.

This award goes equally to every club that has talked up its stadium plans and then failed to deliver.   Chelsea, you may recall, was going to Battersea Power Station or maybe to Olympia.  Tottenham were turning their stadium around and moving into the new ground sometime about now, except it never happened, and now when it does they are going to shut the ground for a season.  Liverpool are all gung-ho, but not a single word can I find about whether they too will be shutting part or all of the ground, and who is paying for it.

Tottenham too won’t talk about where the money comes from, and nor will Liverpool.  At least with Chelsea, if they ever get one, we’ll know where the money is coming from.

The problems clubs are having with building new stadia shows just what an achievement the Emirates is.

6: Prune fans of the year

Newcastle Utd for organising a big walk out of the stadium in protest at the ownership of the club, only for fans to stay in the ground… because they were winning.

Some of the once-off fans at the Arsenal Chelsea league cup game ran them a short second.

7: Prune board of directors of the year

The Rangers board agreed a deal with Laxey Partners to borrow money that they needed to tide them over until season ticket sales started in May.  That is bad enough, because it meant that the season ticket money for 2014/15 was already largely spent.  But worse the deal was at an insane level of interest of 30%!!!  It was a six month loan on £1m.

In the end a cheaper deal was arranged elsewhere – but even so, the board agreed the Laxey deal – which incidentally was also secured against property that Rangers own.

8.  Prune away fans of the year at the Ems.

Equally shared between Liverpool, Everton and Tottenham for flares, smoke bombs and throwing stuff.

9.  Prune Liar of the Year

Chairbeing of Liverpool FC for boasting about lying to the Arsenal board during transfer negotiations last summer.

10. Prune statement of the year

“Ryan Giggs has all the looks of a manager to be” after Man U won a game under his management.

Need I say more.

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14 comments to Football’s Prune of the Year Awards

  • oldgroover

    Prune footballer of the year–as usual Joey Barton for his “picking the best of four ugly women’ comment on Question Time.

  • Andy L

    Prune blogger of the year – LeGrove , yes they win again . In recent days they have admitted that despite wasting so many words on Arsene’s failure to recruit a forward to replace Giroud , as he isn’t good enough , that ‘ there is no one available ‘ . That Arsene was derelict in his duty as he had ruled over ‘ the outrageous collapse in the second half of the season’ so much so that he should not be a pundit on French TV but working hard in closing deals . What a complete arse the man is.

  • Lanz

    Tony, please what’s the difference between a “chairperson” and a “chairbeing”?

  • Robl

    Tony, try as I may I can’t agree with point 9. They played dirty to keep their best player, and they kept him, and he had an amazing season. The only losers were us in not getting him.

    I have to say if we had done the same to Fabregas, Van P, Nasri, Cole etc, and they had gone on to have the season of their career then I’d be smiling too.

    Saurez is happy, Liverpool is happy, for them it is win win.

  • Mick

    @Robl
    Arsenal have high standards of behaviour which do not include lying and then gloating over the fact. We try to do things in a right and proper manner and it’s one of the reasons I and countless others love the club. It appears you do not share the same principals, your prerogative of course but it begs the question as to whether you are supporting the right club.

  • Robl

    @ Mick, I also love the club and have done for 40 years.

    Can’t help thinking if we did the same thing to Spurs we wouldn’t all be a little smug.

    I agree that boasting about it is crass and classless, but the actual act and the outcome have had huge benefits for his club.

  • Mick

    @Robl
    ‘Can’t help thinking if we did the same thing to Spurs we wouldn’t all be a little smug.’
    Now that puts a different perspective on things doesn’t it! I would have to quote Kevin Keegan here and say ‘I would luv it, luv it) whilst feeling slightly guilty at the same time!

  • Robl,

    Getting away with it does not make it right. I don’t care what we stand to gain in glory but it will be a sad day for me as a Gooner to see my beloved club act that way. The good news is that we don’t.

  • Tony,

    While not a fan of Sky TV, I think that your award (no. 3) is rather harsh. Jamie Carragher (who I am not a fan of either) has been punished as the authorities of the game deemed fit. He has served his punishment and I think that should be it.

  • insideright

    It should be remembered that it cost Liverpool a whole new contract for Suarez (at a reputed doubling of his money and a much more watertight buy-out clause). They may have ended up in the Champions League (replacing Manure heh heh)but whether or not they hold on to their star player is yet to be seen.

  • ClockEndRider

    Can’t get too exercised about Spy Sports employment of Carragher.
    Beyond the fact that the man is utterly unintelligible. One would have thought some clarity of enunciation would have been a prerequisite for such a role but clearly not.

  • Gord

    @Opposite Topic?

    The BBC has an article rating away fan support, might be of interest.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/27782311

    I would like to nominate the BBC for a prune in inaccurate commentary.

  • Robl

    @ Bootoomee,

    There are moments for us as a club to be ashamed of in how we conducted business in our not too distant past.

  • Magneto

    I would like to nominate Mark Pougatch of BBC Radio Five Live for the Prune Sneering Broadcaster of the year award.

    And I agree that Le Grove – the Tea Party and UKIP combined of the football blogging sphere – should win the Prune blogger of the year.