By Sir Hardly Anyone; Our Head of Blogetta and Spoof-man of the century is down the pub.
GOOD NEWS: Wenger Reveals Return Date For 6 of the Injured First Team Players
So shouts “GunnersCity” who helpfully print the list
- 21st November – Bellerin, Oxlade Chamberlain, Ramsey.
- 29th November – Walcott.
- 13th December – Wilshere.
But then we spot the next story in the same the very, very same, blogetta:
NOT AGAIN: Arsenal Star Ruled Out Of The Season
Shall we just pause for a second and read the previous headline before taking on this one…
It’s about Gnabry and says, “The player was accused of improper conduct last week, which led to his exclusion from the 18-man match day squad that faced Manchester United on Saturday.” The notion being that he will be trapped for a whole season not playing for WBA. It seems unlikely Arsenal would allow this of a prize asset, but that’s what you get when dealing with Pulis.
But moving on…
ACCEPTED– La Liga Club ACCEPTS Arsenal €45m Bid For Chelsea Target Ahead Of January Window
Now this looks more like it. It is from Footballcolumnist.com
Spanish news outlet Fichajes [oh hell], who reveal Arsenal are working on a £22m deal to lure the Spaniard to the Emirates in January, as Gunners boss Arsene Wenger wants to amplify his midfield options and has pinpointed Isco as the ideal fit. They report that the Gunners are preparing a January raid for the Spain international star and that Isco has been a long-term transfer target for Arsene Wenger’s side.
Now forgive me if I have got this wrong, but isn’t there a certain disconnect between ACCEPTED and ACCEPTS in the headline and “working on” in the story. Or am I just being and old man-about-town and a bit pedantic?
Still there is more
“I Will Go To Arsenal” £75,000-A-Week Defensive Star Confirms BIG NEWS
Who can this be. A new signing surely. But oh, what’s this? Wojciech Szczesny has vowed to return to Arsenal next season and fight for his place in the team, as per reports.
Thank you dailyfootballblog.com
DEAL AGREED-£70,000-A-Week Star Agrees To Sign In January, Will Complete London Move
As per the Express, Mathieu Debuchy has indicated his desire to leave the club in January.
Hmmm there must be something better around…
£40million Price SET, SENSATIONAL Star To Make Emirate DEAL!, First Winter signing Close
The Star reports suggest Benfica wonderkid Goncalo Guedes could make the switch to the Emirates as the gunner have regularly sent scouts to watch him in action. The 19-year-old has been touted as the new Cristiano Ronaldo and has a bright prospect ahead of him.
However, Benfica are not prepared to lose him and they have placed a asking price of £40million to put off offers for his signature.
“To make Emirate Deal”? Oh he’s going to sign for the airline. That was oohtobeagooner
Wenger is finally on verge to sign£35m superstar in January!
According to the reports from Spain Arsenal are very close to finalize the mega transfer and sign a long-time target Karim Benzema in January. French superstar was strongly linked with the Gunners over the summer, with numerous suggestions that bids had been lodged for his services.
Now I am sorry for the delay in putting out this blog but I fell off my chair at that one. And it goes on.
Reportedly, the 27-year-old striker is set to be moved on in the coming months following news he’s been charged in a blackmail plot against Lyon star Mathieu Valbuena. It’s also believed that the Royal club feel he’s damaged the club with a series of incidents, including this one involving compatriot, and he’s now likely to move to Premier League. Offsidefootball
OK so Arsenal will take a man currently in prison accused of blackmail? A bit like wanting a man who bit the opposition players I suppose. We didn’t then, we won’t now.
Another Arsenal Star Injured? Wenger Releases OFFICIAL News
Injury news is all the rage of course and so we read with interest that Arsenal manager Arséne Wenger has allayed fears among the Gunners supporters that Mathieu Debuchy sustained an injury during their 1-1 draw with Tottenham in the North London Derby on Sunday.
Ah so he wasn’t then. Right.
Breaking News: Mourinho Sacked After 1978/79 History Was Discovered
Oohtobeagooner is breaking this one…
An interesting stat cropped up today that they, the Blues, lost 7 out of their first 12 games in the 1978/1979 season; they eventually got relegated that season, and it seems history is about to play out again
Really? I mean really? I mean… could someone get me another drinkipoo please?
Arsenal Will Land This £45M Striker In January, Deal In Progress
This too is from oohtobeagooner and so we read it sitting down, with port and lemon at the ready…
Newer reports has emerged suggesting the Gunners will return back for Paris Saint-Germain striker Cavani could make the switch to the Emirates in January. The Spanish outlet claims the Gunners will be ready to snatch former Napoli man who cost PSG over £45 million in the summer of £2013.
Don’t hold you breath.
HUGE!! Wenger CONFIRM SUPER STAR SIGNING Will Be Made
This is oohtobeagooner again so I wonder if we should not just stop at this point. But well, since we are here let’s see. What exactly did Mr Wenger say?
“If we find opportunities, we will do [them]. Having everybody back, especially offensively, I feel we have what we need.”
Really, I’m sorry. I can’t go on. Will someone please arrange some liquid refreshment??? What sort of pub is this???
Anniversaries (full list on the home page)
10 November 1888: Horton Kirby (South Darenth) 2 Royal Arsenal 6, in the Kent Senior Cup – it was Arsenal’s first year in the competition.
10 November 1948: Laurie Scott last appearance for England. He won 17 caps between 1947 and 1949
- The Untold Arsenal Banner is now on permanent display inside the Emirates Stadium
- A Memorial to the founders of Arsenal’s Highbury dynasty.
- And we’re on Twitter @UntoldArsenal
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