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October 2016
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The second deal of the transfer window is just on done

By Sir Hardly Anyone

The world of the bloggettas are getting frantic.  The first deal is done and dusted, but where is the second deal?   (And just in case you don’t want to wade through all the nonsense, the really naughty one is at the end).

Arsenal Set To Complete Second Signing For This €15.64M Star screams

Arsenal have made a move to sign Mauricio Brozovic by approaching his parent club, Dinamo Zagreb with a £12 Million bid for the Croatians signature.

Brozovic is currently on loan at Inter Milan with the Italian outfit having the option of signing the player permanently when his loan spell expires.

OK not that one then.  How about

 Arsenal Very Close To Completing 2nd January Signing– Reports from  oohtobeagooner

Arsenal have received green light in their chase to sign Paris Saint Germain striker Edison Cavani, according to the Metro.

The Gunners have been monitoring the former Napoli striker over the past three seasons and their persistence could pay of in the summer as the striker edges close to the exit door at Paris.


Let’s move on

Deal Agreed: Arsenal are on the verge to finalize deal for French star says

According to the reports from Britain, Premier League outfits Aston Villa have agreed deal with Arsenal to land French star  Mathieu Debuchy at Villa Park on a season-long loan deal in coming days.

Yes well, I think we’ve heard that one.

Next up is a very curious headline

Fresh: ‘When I sign, I Will Announce It’ Star Finally Hint on Arsenal Imminent Deal

and of course it comes from the very curious goonersden

Pep Guardiola has claimed it could be two years before he moves to the Premiership to fulfil his long time ambition of managing a Premier League club. This has fuelled speculation that he is sizing up a move to the Emirates.

Deal can be announced in any time,£37m Bundelisga superstar’s closing on Arsenal!

As some media sources have revealed, Borussia Monchengladbach’s director of sport Max Eberl has admitted Arsenal top target midfielder Granit Xhaka could leave the club, if a tempting offer is received.

“It depends a bit on our own sporting success, it depends on Granit’s own performances and of course it depends on the figures,” Eberl told WDR 2 radio.

That is

Fresh Update: Arsenal Ready To Seal Deal For Un-happy Star As Their 2nd Signing

We’re back to goonersden and here we are back to the same old same old.

Arsenal are ready to make a move on long time transfer target; Edinson Cavani of Paris St. Germain in this transfer window.

Cavani and PSG coach Laurent Blanc are in a disagreement about the striker’s playing position.

Things are really getting bad when each bloggetta can’t make up its own tale of tripe.

But goonersden keeps on pumping them out.  Here they are again with

Almost Done: Arsenal Target Finally Set To Complete Dream Move, Deal Will Be Announced Next Week

(Actually have you noticed how they do insist on Writing Each Word With A Capital Letter At The Start.  If they had been on a copywriting course they would have learned in lesson one that It Makes It Much Harder To Read That Way).

Arsenal and Barcelona are locked in a transfer battle for the service of Celta Vigo forward Nolito, according to latest report.

Barcelona are said to be close to securing the forward of loan till the summer with an option of making the deal permanent.

Isn’t that a thing!

Actually I must slip in one non-transfer story at this point

Campbell & Elneny Dropped, Alexis & Walcott Start– Arsenal Starting XI vs Stoke City

That again is, oh who is it, oh yes, oohtobea gooner.

Now I know that Untold’s predictions of the team for games is often wide of the mark, but the absolutely certainty with which the site speaks really is a scream.  Added to the notion that I am not quite sure how Elneny could be dropped having just signed.

Deal Agreed: Arsenal set to complete the transfer of international

This is from whom we don’t hear that often.  And you can see why when you read that

Arsenal have agreed a deal with Aston Villa to loan out Mathieu Debuchy till the end of the season, according to reports from the Football Insider

Just one more for now…

Done Deal: Arsenal Striker target Spotted At Club To Finally Seal Deal

And yes I had to include this, because the “spotted at” stories have virtually vanished since Untold did the “spotted in the estate agent” spoof.

Now this one is from goonersden of whom it has been said, and it is most clearly tagged under Arsenal News, and appeared on a number of news accumulator sites.

And what do we read?

The agent of former AC Milan striker,  Alexandre Pato is said to be England to finalise a transfer of the striker to English Premier League Champions  Chelsea in the January transfer window, according to reports.

I’d call that just about the final insult.

Except there is one more

Arsenal set to agree £60m transfer for £80,000 a-week star

And this one really is a bit naughty.

La Liga champions, Barcelona are planing reinforcements in the summer after a two transfer window ban, that has been canceled and according to the latest reports Catalans will renew their interest for Arsenal star Aaron Ramsey.

Barcelona’s interest in  Arsenal attacking midfielder just won’t go away and it seems it will continue until we don see Ramsey with a different Shirt.

Apparently when Barce were told that Ramsey had Cardiff DNA in his blood their spell checker changed Cardiff to Catalan.

And sorry about the English, but that’s exactly what the site says.

Footnote: from the publisher.

Whenever we publish one of Sir Hardly’s stories highlighting the nonsense, gibberish and downright tripe revealed in the past few days by the bloggettas there are always a few comments alleging that either Untold is no better than the bloggettas since we are doing our readers a disservice by highlighting their “stories” or else we only do it to make money out of advertising.

My thinking, as publisher, is that these stories and these are worth highlighting for several reasons.

One was the policy most of them had of misleading readers into clicking on the advert (which is the bit that does make a web site money – just being on the page doesn’t earn anything for anyone) when they actually wanted to read the story.   Another was that these sites do encourage the preposterous view that the solution to any club’s “problems” is buying a player.  A view that has until recently been propagated endlessly by the media as part of its constant attack on Arsene Wenger.

We’ve attacked this two ways – by showing statistically that most big money transfers don’t work in the first season, and 25% can be said to never work at all.  And by pointing out the lunacy of the stories – which endlessly say that something has happened, which never happens.

And I’d claim a little success here.

The number of hits the bloggettas get as revealed on the news accumulator Goonernews has declined by about 50% since we started the campaign, and most of them have now abandoned the trickery that leads the reader to click on the advert rather than the continuation of the story.  So I think we are having an effect.

But why bother?  Why not leave them alone?  Ah, that’s an interesting point, and a longer one and Untold will deal with that separately.   But the Insult of the Day might give you a clue…

He hath a killing tongue and a quiet sword by the means whereof he breaks words, and keeps whole weapons.  (Henry V)

Two from the Anniversary Files (more here)

18 January 2004: Henry used the instant free kick (without the whistle) approach to score in 2-0 away defeat of Villa.  Arsenal won 2-0, Henry scored both, and Arsenal went to the top of the league. The 22nd league match of the unbeaten season


18 January 2015: Manchester City 0 Arsenal 2.  It was a match which stunned critics of Arsenal, not just for Arsenal’s victory (Giroud and Cazorla scored) but the style of play in which Arsenal conceded possession to Man C for much of the game.


14 comments to The second deal of the transfer window is just on done

  • Pat

    The press clamours for signings. Yet on the day it was reported we had signed Elneny, the Telegraph had a tiny article at the foot of a page with a tiny photo of Elneny. The rest of the double page was an entirely speculative article about who other ‘big teams’ might sign in the summer.

  • ARSENAL 13

    why are we not linked to Kalou this window??

  • Shakabula Gooner

    Kalou? Is he still playing.
    Even Schnedelin has dropped out as the flavour of the season.
    Wanyana more like what we desperately want to feed on.
    Indeed, he may already be in Colney training training ground asking to be let in for a game.

  • Shakabula Gooner

    Kalou? Is he still playing?
    Even Schnedelin has dropped out as the flavour of the season.
    Wanyama is more like the dessert of the season. We desperately want to feed on (it).
    Indeed, he may already be in Colney training ground asking to be let in for a game; signing formalities be damned!

  • ARSENAL 13

    Remember us linked to Malouda a few years back…..

    He appeared in India a couple of months back playing ISL.

  • Mandy Dodd

    all very amusing stuff. Pato indeed!
    And most of them have not mentioned two apparently much sought after Nigerian youngsters we have supposedly signed…or at least according to John Cross, tho havent seen anything on the official site.

  • Samuel Akinsola Adebosin

    The Boss looks to have dispelled any hope of Arsenal signing Aleksandr Kokorin from Dinamo Moscow. Who I think they will sign this window. The Boss has said, he would prefer to wait for Arsenal no2. striker – injured Danny Welbeck to return to his side rather than to bring in a new striker who will not be an upgrade to the quality of Welbeck. And d Boss’ stance on not to sign a new striker appears to be buttressed by fomer Dinamo Moscow sporting director, Konstatin Sarsania who is reported in d media to hv said, Arsenal have cooled their interest to sign Kokorin. OT. I’ve been listening to the CNN and news emanating on it is saying that the British Parliament are debating on whether to ban the US GPO Presidental aspirant – Donald Trump from entering the UK. What of if he won the US Presidential election, and the ban passed through the House of Commons today? Will a US President stands banned from entering the UK? And why hadn’t the House had a debate on our 100K plus signed petition to ban Mike Dean?

  • Tristan

    When I view your site on mobile a ad pops up that covers the entire screen, it is blank with an 8 second countdown and a link that says skip this add. If you click skip this ad it takes you to the page the ad linked to anyways, the other option is to wait 8 seconds for the “x” to show up to click it. I don’t begrudge you monetizing your site, but on mobile in-line ads or even a standard popup that immediately shows the “x” would make your site more enjoyable to read.

    That being said I enjoy the content you put out, so I will continue to read regardless.

  • I can assure you Tristan that this is not part of our site. It is something that has got into your computer. You need get some advice on what is wrong and I suspect the answer is going to be to run an antivirus program, ad blocker and one or two other bits and pieces.

    I can 100% assure you that this is not us and we are against such things

    But I would add something else. IF you see something odd from a site that looks legit, never, ever assume that what you see is exactly what the site has put up. The first assumption is that something has by passed your defences and is causing the problem. Only when you have utterly shown this is not the problem, by running all the defence programs for a week should you worry.

    But even then I would suggest you get hold of a Chromebook computer and see if it has the same impact. I have not see the sort of stuff you describe get past chrome book.

  • Gord

    A second suggestion, is to run firefox (or seamonkey) with the NoScript addon.

    Being pedantic, a website should provide all the “data” that your browser needs to view the site. What often happens, is that a site may bring in content from some other website (with which it has prior arrangements). Images are commonly in this category. A third category is that a website is calling for CSS or javascript formatting to rewrite the page, and either or both the CSS/javascript is coming from somewhere else.

    For legitimate content of the site, this extra-site data is fairly constant, and NoScript can allow you to whitelist these other sites to view a page. Untold more or less falls into that category.

    Sometimes advertising comes along with its own set of requirements. My feeling, is that you should never whitelist requirements to let advertising work. A good justification for this, is that hijacking advertising is a common way to get malware onto your machine.

    I just use Untold, and I am happy doing so.

  • goonersince72

    Sir Hardly,
    Just returned from Alaska and found a lad in an igloo who the locals say is a combination of Bergkamp and Ya Ya Toure. Wants to play in England. I’m trying to convince him of the Arsenal but he says ‘experts’ from Le Grove and the Telegraph have already recommended him to MU. What’s a Gooner to do?

  • austinpaul

    Gud post! Hve always wondered how many players AW is getting in d window while most Arsenal nd Arsene faithful kno dat nobody is in line for transfer; Wenger doesn’t buy frivolously he spends quality tym scouting his preys dats wy he seldom signs flops nd misfits; however I tink Untold is doing a gud job showing these bloggers for wat they really are- hoodoos!!!

  • les martin

    Excellent article,just wish the non story tellers were exposed in a more public way and in a league table !looking for them in the 19th outer patagonian duff story league would be a blast and the raspberry trophy for laziness could be issued annually

  • Brickfields Gunners

    @ les martin – January 18, 2016 at 10:03 pm – Nice idea , we could give awards in so many different ‘worst’ categories to the various miscreants and morons .
    Shall we call it the SHAFT Awards ?

    1. Worst EPL opposition manager .
    2. Worst EPL opposition player .
    3. Worst EPL referee (so many choices , may end up being tied !)
    4. Worst ‘them’ blog .
    5. Worst ostrich .
    6. Worst newspaper .
    7. Worst tv commentator or expert .
    8. Worst prediction of the season.
    9. Worst statement of the season.
    10.Worst poster on UA .

    Ahh… lets shaft them all !