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October 2016
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Bournemouth v Arsenal. The match review for negativists and other members of the aaa.

By Dr Billy “the dog” McGraw

In an attempt to be more inclusive Untold and to meet the new government equality of coverage opportunities, as the blog’s resident psychologist I have been asked to offer a review of the Bournemouth game written for card carrying members of the aaa and other perpetual negativists.

For the opinion aaa

Cech was shit, Bellerin was shit, Gabriel was shit, Koscielny was shit, Monreal was shit, Flamini was shit, Ramsey was shit, Oxlade-Chamberlain was shit, Ozil – the jury is still out, Alexis has lost it, Giroud was shit.

On the beach : Gibbs was shit, Coquelin was shit, Walcott has completely lost it and did nothing after he came on.

For the statistical aaa

  • Arsenal has had one defeat in the last seven and so are shit.
  • Leicester has had one defeat in the last eight and so are not shit.
  • Arsenal has had three draws in the last seven and so are shit.
  • Leicester has had three draws in the last seven and so are not shit.

For the belief aaa

I believe Cech was shit, I believe Bellerin was shit, I believe Gabriel was shit, I believe Koscielny was shit, I believe Monreal was shit, I believe Flamini was shit, I believe Ramsey was shit, I believe Oxlade-Chamberlain was shit, I believe that with Ozil the jury is still out, I believe Alexis has lost it, I believe Giroud was shit.

For the “if we can’t beat” aaa

If we can’t beat West Ham we’re shit. If we can’t beat Chelsea we’re shit.  If we can’t beat WBA we’re shit.  If we can’t beat Southampton we’re shit.  If we can’t beat Chelsea again we’re shit.

For the “where we are in the league table” aaa

  • We’re five points behind Leicester so we’re shit.
  • We’ve got the same points as the Tiny Totts so we’re shit.
  • We’ve only got one point more than the Arab and Chinese Joint Venture Company to take over world football so we’re shit.
  • We’ve only got seven points more than Manchester Untidy so we’re shit.
  • We’ve only got eight points more than another club that had its ground built for it by the state so we’re shit.
  • We’ve only got 11 points more than Southampton so we’re shit.
  • We’ve only got 13 points more than Everton so we’re shit.
  • We’ve only got 13 points more than the amazing almighty Liverpool! so we’re shit and you have to remember that Liverpool! won the league 25 years ago.

Oh yes and we have only got 18 points more than Chelsea and so quite clearly should have changed our manager earlier in the season and followed the Chelsea model.

I think that just about covers it.

Two anniversaries from today’s list

7 February 2004: Wolverhampton 1 Arsenal 3. The 24th league game of the unbeaten season. The game beat the club unbeaten record set by George Graham’s team of 1990–91.  Rick Broadbent in the Times said, “The truth is it is a privilege to watch new Arsenal. They are Prozac for those used to the prosaic.”

7 February 2013: Benik Afobe loaned to Millwall but got injured.  After a number of loan spells, including a very successful run at MK Dons in 2014 he signed for Wolverhampton in 2015.

The Untold Books

The latest Untold book is Arsenal: The Long Sleep 1953-1970 with an introduction by Bob Wilson, available both as a paperback and as a Kindle book from Amazon.   Details of this and our other titles can be found at Arsenal Books on this site.



37 comments to Bournemouth v Arsenal. The match review for negativists and other members of the aaa.

  • goonersince72

    We support the Manager and the Club so we’re shit.

  • WalterBroeckx

    and deluded….

  • Mandy Dodd

    Bad day for the WOBbles, they showed us all their mental strength by worrying about us falling massively behind Leicester, Spurs, dropping out of the top 4 , they had their attacks of Benik Aphobia, convinced he would hit a hatrick against our shit defence.
    They ruined precious time worrying about something that didn’t happen at least not this weekend.
    No wonder some,of them are so angry. And I refer to the ISIS branch, not constructive or evidence based critics.
    But it is all shit, isn’t it

  • John L.

    Also, we benefitted from a typically pro-Arsenal ref, who failed to send Flamini off, failed to disallow both our goals for offside, did not give Bournemouth divers 2 penalties and did not give an obvious penalty when Kos blocked the ball by using his chest, which is equidistant between both his arms!

    As well as that, it was obvious that Ospina and Iwobi were completely outclassed by being immobile on the bench.

  • Tasos

    I’m shit and so’s My Wife.

  • Mandy Dodd

    Our kit mans shit as well. Think Bob Wilson might be too

  • GoingGoingGooner

    at least we’re water soluble.

  • Gunnerjoe

    Life’s a piece of shit no matter how you look of it.

  • Gunnerjoe

    At it……

  • bjtgooner

    As for the organic aaaa, they came up smelling of…….fertilizer!!

  • Gord

    Wonderful! Tony, can I give you 75 likes?

    Some medja thing, was more or less saying Jack Wilshere was shit, so we should get rid of him (I just seen the title and 1 sentence from Google News).

  • Polo

    Where are those WOBs that was posting on here a few articles ago saying AW had to go because he’s clueless and that Bournmouth going score 5 goals and tear us apart?

  • Polo

    According to the WOBs, Arsenal were suppose to lose to Bournmouth, so what happened? Wenger is clueless and the players are shit, how did they win? And we at UA are deluded to think Arsenal going to beat Bournmouth, were we deluded?

  • va Cong

    Happy Chinese New Year you bunch of no good shits! Lol

  • va Cong

    where are Aaa floaters?

  • Sammy The Snake

    Can we get back to being positive? I would go to Le Shit if I wanted to read this sort of shit!

  • Brickfields Gunners

    A Happy Lunar Year to all , and may the year of the Monkey have you joyously flinging shit at all those who deserve it ! And may it stick and stink !
    WOO HOO , HOO !

  • nicky

    May I submit a couple of points on the game itself, on behalf of the millions of TV viewers.
    1. It was difficult at times to distinguish between the two sides at a distance and one had to constantly focus on the gold on the Arsenal shirts in order to positively identify the team in possession.
    2. Looking at the screen, it was remarkable the amount of action (plus the two goals) in the right-hand half of the field throughout the game. Arsenal in the first half and Bournemouth in the second. 😉

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Tips survive the Year of The Monkey –

    1. Be yourself , never ape others .

    2. Be excited , but don’t go bananas .

    3. Don’t settle for peanuts .

    4. Have a swinging good time .

    5. Keep your shit together !

  • Florian


    Must have been Bournemouth’s version of “tilting the pitch”. You have to admit they took it literally and did a brilliant job with it! 😉

    Wait until the aaa pick on the fact that we can’t beat Barcelona so we’re shit (never mind it happened already).

  • Rich

    No career in commentary for you, McGraw- was all looking so positive but then you mentioned Liverpool’s 25 years. That won’t do.

    On subject of positivity, I noticed this the other day from Mick McCarthy defending our young player Maitland-Niles. I agree with every word of it. Simple common sense but good to see a manager express it.

    “He’s a kid. He wasn’t getting any abuse, it was just all the moans and groans. He was having a tough time and, as we saw, that doesn’t help.

    “If someone was standing over you while you were working moaning and groaning that would affect you too, believe me.

    “He’ll play in bigger stadiums with bigger crowds and with even more people moaning at him at some point. You don’t mind abuse from opposing fans, that’s fine, but when it’s your own crowd…’

    Whole thing is worth reading

    Gotta admit it made me smile to see the first reaction tweet to it.

    ‘I have no idea what McCarthy is on about re Maitland-Niles. He needs to shut up and stop slagging off the fans who pay good money’

  • proudkev

    Billy, that was very funny, I had a few chuckles reading that.

    However you forget………….:

    ElNeny is shit.

    The AAA clearly have it in for Elneny before he’s even had a chance!

    Quote: “Can I mention, again, what a shambles the signing of Elneny has been. He didn’t even make the bench today (*I know he had a kid, but point is, he wouldn’t have started). What was the point in that signing?”.

    Typical piece of aaa spin after a win; looking for deflection from a good away win and another clean sheet.

    These guys really do have ‘Shit’ for brains!!

    WOB = Wenger Obsessed Bullshitters

  • Menace

    I’m shit cos I love the PGMO. Wenger is the biggest shit of all undefeated bastard!!

  • Menace

    Damn & blast – I’m foreign shit!

  • john-L

    A more serious observation:- Note the media clamour about Flamini not getting a red card for his tackle. Whilst it might have been reckless for being two-footed, it played the ball and was nowhere near the man and it was not at all high. Contrast with the general absence of comment for far worse tackles (including several against our players) which take place in many other games.

    Echoes of the campaigns against Coquelin, Eduardo etc. Look out for a red card against an Arsenal player in our next fixture against the media’s newly adopted favourite team!

  • proudkev

    I assume Billy must have been monitoring the WOB blogs to write this research based article.

    Did anyone bother to read the ‘in game’ comments from the AAA…?

    I just have, my lord it is absolutely mind blowing. The media really think these clowns are representative of Arsenal fans – I heard Micky Quinn on Sunday say Arsenal fans want Wenger gone. This is so untrue.

    After reading the in game comments, you would have thought we were losing 8-0 not winning 2-0. Almost every other comment included the word ‘shit’, along with a player being abused.

    These guys are out of control, they bare extremists following a cause. I question whether they really are all Gooners because I dont know any actual person with those extreme views and I mix regularly with loads of football fans, not just Gooners. It all seems a bit too over the top and contrived to really be true. I suspect half of those are trolls making out they are Arsenal fans, I knwo some have been outed but they just create new accounts.

    I’m sick and tired of being associated with these ‘shit’ fans and the imposters stirring it up; it’s about time something was done to expose these complete idiots for what they really are. We need to also take on the media and the ignorant narrative they spin almost daily.

    This club, our players and expecially the manager don’t deserve the constant abuse.

  • Shakabula Gooner

    For eternal aaa:
    We were shit yesterday;
    We are shit today;
    We shall be shit tomorrow.

  • Jambug


    Alas they are out there.

    My own brother is one. Whilst we where top I never heard a dicky Bird from him, which is hardly surprising as I banned footy talk as he just doesn’t stop moaning.

    Alas, following Merts indiscretion against Chelsea he just could not resist a dig.

    Not spoken since.

    I haven’t spoken to 2 ex work colleagues I used to talk to about football for years because they just did not stop moaning.

    I don’t live or work in a traditional Arsenal area but there are a few of us and it has to be said most of them, if not like the real odious AAA types, I would suggest they lean further that way than they do towards us, what I would generically call the AKB types.

    Conversely a good percentage of non Arsenal fans just don’t get what all the Arsenal fans are moaning about. They would take him as there manager in a heart beat. I would go as far as to say, united, Spurs and Liverpool fans are by and large the most complimentary.

    At work, I never talk football to Arsenal fans because it so often ends in me banging my head against the wall. Conversely I have some great chats with a variety of other teams fans.

    Alas, in my experience anyway, there are unfortunately a lot of Wenger dislikers (haters is too strong) out there, but in there slight defence I think they are massively influenced by the constant tirade of media abuse aimed at him.

  • Goursh

    Wow, that’s too much shit to go through.

  • Goonermikey

    Q. What might an intelligent aaa accidentally say on non-match days?

    A. “Do you want shits with that”…….

  • quickerthanper

    Nice piece of literature, I like the subtle choice of wording and the free flowing rhythm – almost like a poem !!!

    It is easy to turn against your team if the run of results is suboptimal – so no approval from me at all.
    I find the anti wenger brigade very annoying, but when it comes to the use of the word shit, I think we should all take example from Jack and keep it in use as a synonym for that other team.

    By the way: just think for a moment what how the faces of all spuds hopefuls will look like if around March time their annual collapsing period is up and they will do what they so far mastered so convincingly each and every season and throw it all away again (damn, they do not look like they would right now, but heehoo they occasionally did not look like they would in years before and it is not yet March….)

    What I would want to leave on record in advance of coming games and particularly our next game is that in order to win again and again, we need to play better than we did yesterday. Everybody can see that we got the potential to do so and I am confident that the players have recognised that, too. But we still need to see it happening!
    Second half against Bornemouth we lacked fluency in our attacks and not minimising all deserved praise for our dogged defending, there will be teams with more speed and firepower than Bornemouth had on display yesterday.


  • John

    Wenger hasnt finished in the top 2 in the premier league in over a decade..Hes the best manager ever..

  • Maybe I’m a signed up member of aaa, whatever that means, emm, some bigger tests to come, we’re in a great position, have been here before, let’s see if the greatest manager can deliver. It’s been a while.

  • Jambug

    In answer to a couple of sarcastic digs above. I’m sure they know who they are.

    Surely what makes a great manager is doing the best that can possibly be achieved with the resources available to him/her.

    As an analogy, who is the best driver in this motor racing scenario?

    1) Billy big bollocks

    He drives for Ferrari.

    Ferrari have by far the most money. There car is the best car out there and is nick named the ‘Eagle’.

    He wins 3 races, 2nd in another 4 and 3rd in 6. He misses the podium just 2 times.

    2) Billy no mates.

    He drives for Reliant:

    Reliant are the poorest team out there. In fact they are so poor there car only has 3 wheels and is nick named the ‘Robin’.

    He doesn’t win a single race. In fact he doesn’t make the podium once. But somehow he managers to finish 4th 4 times, 5th 3 and did not once miss a top 10 finish.

    Simple question.

    Given the enormous difference in resources (that’s money to you and me) who did the best?

    Billy big bollocks or Billy no mates?

    I know who I think.

    My point is measuring how ‘Good’ somebody is, or how ‘successful’ they are, is not simply down to what they win.

    There are many other factors to take in to account.

    Just saying Billy big bollocks is a better driver than Billy no mates simply on the basis that he ‘won’ more races is wrong on so many levels.

    It seems to me where some people differ from others, when it comes to evaluating football in general, and Wenger in particular, is they are simply unable to, or more accurately, unwilling to, factor in the massive issue of ‘resources’ when it comes to evaluating ability, or measuring success if you prefer.

    To dismiss the massive differential in Clubs/Managers resources as simply an excuse, is to utterly underestimate it’s importance.

    Taken over a 10 year plus period, 3 Clubs have operated with resources, on average 10 times that of Wenger.

    TEN TIMES !!! That is a massive disadvantage.

    If people want to dismiss that as an excuse that’s fine. I just think you are wrong.

  • Menace

    John – are you really aware that the sun has never risen in the West! Why do you always stand up to walk – you should try sitting. It is obvious you can only state part of the obvious that suits your tiny ego. Wenger has generated more income for Arsenal than any other manager has for an English club. Perhaps you & Tipster should form a civil partnership.

    I think I will allow you to get back in the sewer to digest what I have written.

  • There u go again Menance, generating income, bla bla bla, maybe we should support Vodafone or BP, they generate more income, and like us have no chance of winning the Champs League.

  • Jambug


    Over the last 10 years the 3 most successful (trophies won) Clubs in this Country are the 3 richest clubs, and yet some how you see the ‘generating income’ as irrelevant.

    You somehow haven’t made the connection between wealth and success have you?

    Unless you have an Oligarch providing an income for you the only other option is to ‘generate’ that income yourself.

    I don’t know about Vodafone or BP generating an income, every company in the World has to generate an income.

    I have to generate an income. I assume you have to generate an income.

    Without generating an income, Vodafone, BP, you, me, everyone in fact, we are all in the shit.

    Sarcastic digs, deriding the need to ‘generate income’ as a mere irrelevance are pretty desperate.

    But hey, we’re all entitled to our opinions so if you don’t agree, please explain how you run your life WITHOUT generating an income.

    Maybe you have your very own Oligarch?

    Maybe you won the lottery?

    Maybe you have one of those nice little money trees out back?

    I’m sure I have no idea.

    But as you see the ‘generation of income’ as so irrelevant I cant wait to find out how you get on without it.