By Sir Hardly Anyone
It is extraordinary to think that no one has ever put together a cumulative list of players who, according to the bloggettas and their chums in the rapidly declining newspapers, have signed for Arsenal this summer – or at least are very close to doing so.
[Incidentally, before going on, vis a vis the newspapers, it has been reported this week in the marketing press that the newspapers’ habit of tracking people who run ad blockers and popping up notices saying “don’t block our ads” or words to that effect, is illegal – under EU law. They are however still doing it. Untold doesn’t do this – we like it if you click on an advert we show – and we get paid a penny each time – but we only want you to do this if you really are interested in the advert. Now back to the plot.]
So, Untold is never afraid of stepping in what no one has stepped in before and so it is my great honour, privilege and pleasure to bring you, for the very first time in human history the Great Arsenal Transfer Index.
The intent is to keep this running through the summer – listing all the players linked with Arsenal including all the ones we have absolutely, definitively, and totally signed, and then we can see how accurate the media and their fellow travellers actually are.
So here is the list thus far…. The Great Arsenal Transfer Index (including everyone mentioned by your humble servant in the transfer articles in the past month).
|Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang||Forward||B. Dortmund|
|Riechedly Bazoer||Cen mid.||Ajax||Barcelona, Chelsea, Man U, Tottenham|
|Rodrigo Bentancur||Midfield||Boca Juniors||Real Mad, Juventus|
|Raphaël Guerreiro||Left-back/ midfield||Lorient|
|Gonzalo Higuain||Striker||Napoli||Man U|
|Mauro Icardi||Striker||Inter-Milan||Man C, Man U|
|Naby Keita||Central mid||Red Bull Salzburg|
|Henrikh Mkhitaryan||Midfield||B Dortmund||Liverpool! Tottenham|
|Alvaro Morata||Striker||Juventus (loan) Real Mad|
|Kelechi Nwakali||Midfield||Reported as already having joined Arsenal||West Ham, Bayern Munich, Chelsea, Liverpool!l Man U|
|John Stones||Centre back||Everton|
|Jon Toral||Attack midf.||Arsenal (loaned to Brum)|
|Yaya Toure||Cent midf||Man City|
|Victor Wanyama||Def. midf.||Southampton|
|Granit Xhaka||Defender, central mid||B Monchengladbach||Chelsea,|
|Andriy Yarmolenko||Winger||Dynamo Kiev||Tottenham Liverpool|
Not a bad start, I am sure you will agree, especially as it is still only April.
And just in case you are wondering where all this comes from, allow me to give you a little snippet of the drivel, garbage and other dirty doings that I, your humble servant in these matters, has to skip through. For we have…
“Arsenal transfer news: Scouts watch Boca Juniors teenage starlet Rodrigo Bentancur ahead of summer move… the 18-year-old is also attracting interest from Real Madrid and Juventus.” That from the almighty ESPN this week.
While the Guardian has recently given us “Arsenal, Barcelona, Chelsea, United and Tottenham all want to sign the Ajax prodigy Riechedly Bazoer… “
But will Mr W sign anyone? He recently said, “If you look at the top three teams, you will see they have not changed their team a lot. We have to strengthen our squad but it’s not obvious to find the players despite the money the English clubs will have…
“You cannot dismiss that the players are young: Alex Iwobi is 19, Mohamed Elneny is 23, Francis Coquelin 24, and they will be stronger next year but you need to keep a core of players and strengthen where we can. The team is going the right way.”
As for whether Britain leaving the EU would affect the Premier League and its policy of bringing in large numbers of European immigrants to work for the club, he said, “It raises many questions. Will the European players be considered as they are now? For example, if England votes for Brexit, will the French be considered like South Americans players. That would completely re-question the influx of foreign players.
“Will England go that way? If they did, that would leave the Premier League with some questions. Also there would be no one out there stopping the newspapers from tracking the actions of honourable football supporters.” (Actually he didn’t say that last sentence, but I am sure he would have done had anyone asked him).
It would of course also give the anti-Wengerians all the ammo they need to call for his expulsion from the UK for being an immigrant.
But back to our list:
“Arsenal believe they have won the race to sign the 16-year-old Portuguese prodigy Domingos Quina, sought after by a host of Premier League clubs. Quina was signed by Chelsea’s academy at the age of 13, from the Portuguese club Benfica, but has not committed to the London club for a scholarship deal.
“He cannot sign a professional contract until the age of 17 and any deal with Arsenal will guarantee that….
“It represents a coup for the Arsenal academy who have traditionally not competed with the likes of Chelsea and Manchester City for the top teenage talent in Europe and beyond.”
That is an interesting one because it was reported virtually word for word in The Telegraph, Google News, footballio.com, football.co.uk, www.atomicsoda.com (and I assure you I did not just make that up), www.uk.sports.yahoo.com, sky sports, theweek…
So do we have anything new for you? Well The Sports Columnist (a bloggetta) is leading with the news that Chuba Akpom will be returning to Arsenal from Hull and be given his chance in the same way that players like Coquelin, Bellerin and Iwobi have been of late.
The Star is running a “back to Arsenal” story as well, with Gedion Zelalem their feature – he is returning from Rangers they announce in big letters.
There is yet more chatter that
Xhaka is coming from Monchengladbach and only the fee differential stands in the way of “the young Schweinsteiger”
But then finally, after a lot of searching I have found us one new name not in the 25, it is in the Sports Columnist….
With Ramsey and Chamberlain likely to leave Arsenal this summer, the Gunners have been linked to the signing of several high problem midfielders. This includes Ilkay Gundogan who is reported to be one of Wenger’s main target in the role. The 30 million rated German was linked with a move to Arsenal last summer but he instead chose to remain at Dortmund.
He has however in recent time confirmed he will like to seek new pastures which means Arsenal will have a good chance of signing him this summer. Unfortunately it appears Manchester City have stolen a match on the Gunners and will be signing him for 30 million having already agreed personal terms with him.
So there we are – the 25 plus one. But no, what’s this: it is from the Sports Columnist which seems to be working overtime to find us players not in the 25.
Wenger is trying very hard to sign Riyad Mahrez from Leicester City. The Algerian has been in stellar form for Leicester City this season and is in line to become the PFA player of the year. According to the reports, Wenger is trying to sign Mahrez whether or not Walcott is sold….
Riyad Mahrez is primarily a winger but also can play in the 10 role when necessarily. He has played on both wings and in the 10 roles at various stages of the season for Leicester City. Leicester will certain not want to sell him but unfortunately for them, Arsenal and the other clubs interested are bigger than the foxes and even Mahrez accepts this for a fact and could be tempted to leave this summer.
So there we are. Two for the price of one. What more can you want. That’s 27 players now, plus two returnees.
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