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Arsenal’s utterly extraordinary transfer story could take us all by surprise (if it turned out to be true).

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Now this is at last getting interesting for the media, desperately short of inane rumours to pedal have come up with not just one but two new ideas to fill up space.

First, if there is any player thought to have even a 1% chance of coming to Arsenal they proclaim that no, he’s off to Man U, because of the Jose factor.  And second they are bashing the England manager Roy Hodgson.  Not quite as much as the Russian media are doing their team (where there has been calls for a Stalinist approach to football – and I kid you not on that one), but still doing it.

Here are some takes from the Telegraph on the England manager, and I think you will recognise the style – not least because they manage to insult both the national team and Arsenal at the same time.

  • Hodgson desperate for new contract despite FA worries over tournament path
  • England arrived at Euro 2016 with Leicester in mind but have looked more like Arsenal
  • Hodgson says he is certain of England’s best team but they appear a work in progress ahead of last 16 test
  • Euro 2016 cartoons: Roy says England “aren’t doomed yet”
  • Roy Hodgson’s loyalty to Jack Wilshere is understandable but asks too much
  • Euro 2016: What are England getting wrong that Wales are doing right?
  • Roy Hodgson must be ruthless to turn near misses into Euro 2016 glory
  • Who were the stars and who flopped in England’s goalless draw with Slovakia?
  • Jamie Vardy’s fairytale put on pause as rueful England count their missed chances
  • Euro 2016: England manager Roy Hodgson to recall Harry Kane in attempt to save campaign
  • PFA chief executive Gordon Taylor promises research into dementia

OK I am being silly with the last one which is a genuine headline about a most serious subject and nothing to do with Hodgson, but the way the Telegraph is covering England (every one of those headlines is on the Telegraph’s home football page this morning) shows just how the media work these days and you wouldn’t put it past them to use the final headline on Hodgson.

Second, the new “Bash Arsenal” theme is dead simple: everyone Arsenal wants doesn’t want to come to Arsenal, but wants to go to Man U.  So in desperation Arsenal are “monitoring” someone else.  Apart from the sheer nonsense of the whole notion that every player wants to play for Mourinho, the monitoring is all done on video and goes on all day and night through the season.  That’s why Arsenal have their own player monitoring company.

Here are 13 bits of nonsense to mull over… the surprise in the headline would be if any of them turned out to be true.

1: Morata

Juventus have confirmed that Alvaro Morata will return to Real Madrid this summer, after the European champions triggered a buy-back clause in the player’s contract says the Independent which then reveals it is quoting the Standard who “confirm” that Madrid having bought the player back for £23m will now sell him for £40m, but not to Arsenal because he only wants to join Man U.

2: Theo Walcott

Arsenal transfer shock: Liverpool ready £25m bid for Theo Walcott on £120,000-a-week deal

LIVERPOOL are ready to tempt Theo Walcott into a move away from Arsenal with a surprise £50 million deal, according to reports.

It is thought Walcott intends to stay at Arsenal and is willing to fight for his place next season despite being dropped to the bench for the last few months, with Olivier Giroud being favoured up front.

3:  Nolito

Arsenal have been given a huge boost in their pursuit of Spanish striker Nolito, report the Daily Star Sunday.

The Celta Vigo front man is set to leave his club this summer after the president admitted that they will struggle to keep hold of him. …  Arsenal can sign Spanish striker for £13.8m, confirms president

Nolito, 29, had a decorated season last term with Celta Vigo where he netted 12 goals and provided 7 assists in his 29 appearances and also proved his worth at the Euro 2016 after he scored during the 3-0 victory.

His boss said, “He has a buy-out clause of €18m (£13.8m). Who pays it can sign him.”

4:  Murillo battle?

Arsenal will battle with Bayern Munich and Zenit St Petersburg for the signing of centre back Jeison Murillo from Inter, according to Sky Sports Italia.

It is reported that Arsenal have already made contact with Murillo’s agent in a bid to push through the deal.

5:  Blind becomes shock Arsenal target

We covered this one the other day reporting the awful “Is Wenger going blind” headline.  The People says

The Gunners are looking to pounce on the £16million man with Mourinho yet to make a decision on whether the versatile star is his type of player.   Reports recently have suggested that Blind is set to be axed from the United squad but he responded by saying he is looking forward to playing for Mourinho.

6:  Interest in Boufal but Barca lead the way

The Observer tells us Boufal’s agent has confirmed that the 22-year-old has already held talks with Barcelona, while Chelsea and Atletico Madrid are also keen on signing the youngster.

Yvan Le Mee said:  “In England, there is interest, but the English market is just beginning. A transfer of 20 and 25 million euros is not resolved in two weeks, of course.”

Arsenal we are told have a long-standing interest having scouted Boufal extensively since January and the suggestion is that as he is currently injured he is ideal for Arsenal.  He scored 11 times in his first full top-flight season and won the award for Best African Player in Ligue 1.

7:  Arsenal preparing to offer Wenger new deal

Arsenal are ready to offer manager Arsene Wenger a new deal, claims Mirror Football’s Steve Stammers although here the idea seems to be that the news will give Piers Morgan a heart attack and shut him up for good.

8: Mkhitaryan 

Having set up the unpronounceable one as certain to go to Arsenal, he is now player number 27 who is going to Man U this summer.

Man Utd transfer news Mkhitaryan seeks Old Trafford move despite Dortmund’s refusal to sell

says the Telegraph.  But elsewhere  Arsenal close to complete £25m move for Wenger’s dream No.10It has been reported by the Express that Arsenal are one step away of signing their long-time target Henrikh Mkhitaryan from Borussia Dortmund, as the playmaker has refused to hand a new contract with Bundesliga club.

As per the Independent, Arsenal’s French boss is desperate to sign the 27-year-old attacking midfielder, who has been one of the best performers in Bundesliga last term.

Any excuse to make Mr Wenger “desperate”.

9: Wojciech Szczesny  

Roma finished third in the league, Szczesny is happy there, but the clubs can’t agree a fee for his services for another year on loan so he’s coming back with two years to run on his contract.

10:  Hysaj will not move to Arsenal, will stay at Napoli

Yep, it’s, think of a player, link him with Arsenal and then say no he doesn’t want to go there, time again.

11:   Arsenal Lining-Up Swoop For £11.5m Hitman

 Not a mafia employee but rather Stevan Jovetic a player the media told us Arsenal were going to sign two years ago.  I know they say that Arsenal is slow, but this is getting ridiculous.

12:   Arsenal Eye 18 Goal Winger As Vardy Transfer Looks Dead

 

As the Jamie Vardy transfer to Arsenal looks increasingly dead and buried, Arsene Wenger is apparently eyeing 18 goal Spartak Moscow winger Quincy Promes as an alternative to the Leicester City striker  .Promes has come to the attention of Arsenal, among others, as the 24 year old has suggested he would like to play in a more competitive league.

13:  Deal Close: Arsenal Set To Finalise Defensive Signing ‘In Next 7 Days’

Arsenal have moved a step closer to announcing another fresh face with the signing of Rob Holding possibly being finalised within the next seven days.

Ah well, another day another transfer.

Recent Posts

And a fundamental moment in the history of Arsenal

22 June 1893:  The first AGM of Woolwich Arsenal was held under the chairmanship of  Jack Humble; as the club’s first directors were elected ahead of entry into the Football League for the first time.   (It is also the birthday of the founder of Untold Arsenal, but apparently that wasn’t in the same year).

 

10 comments to Arsenal’s utterly extraordinary transfer story could take us all by surprise (if it turned out to be true).

  • Des

    We don’t need any signings as thespian is excellent.

    Akpom will be our main striker and Chambers will step up to partner Koz.

  • Ajay

    The article stays true to the authors name and yet I have read through every bit of it and have come to the conclusion mentioned above and now I am commenting on it as well. What is it about rumours that get us curious enough to read it and then say BLAH!!! It’s like a lesson I learned in literature when in school about a pet crow so curious that upon it’s release to freedom, it flew towards a orange burst which turned out to be a gun shot. The moral of the story is learned but never applied.

  • nicky

    Would Yvan Le Mee be from Bertie’s French side of the family?

  • colario

    THE RULES OF THE HOUSE.

    THE HUSBAND IS THE BOSS IN THIS HOUSE AND ANYTHING THE WIFE SAYS HAS TO BE DONE.

    DURING ARGUMENTS FLYING OBJECTS MUST BE KEPT TO A MINIMUM.

    NO BOOTS TO BE WORN IN BED.
    LAST ONE UP PUTS THE CAT OUT….AND LOCKS THE SILVER AWAY!

    NO DUST TO BE SWEPT UNDER THE CARPETS!
    DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE FOOD — OR YOU’LL COOK IT YOURSELF!

    WHEN THE BATHROOM IS ENGAGED FORM A QUEUE IN AN ORDERLY – FASHION!

    NO SMOKING IN BED!

    DON’T LOSE YOU TEMPER – NOBODY ELSE WANTS TO FIND IT.

    KEEP TELEPHONE CALLS BRIEF WE’ER ON THE ‘RECEIVER’ END FOR THE ‘BILL’.

    BREAKFAST IN BED ONLY SERVED
    IF YOU ARE UNDER THE DOCTOR.

    IF A BILL COMES IN — GET HIM TO CHANGE HIS NAME.

    ANYONE CAUGHT RAIDING THE FRIDGE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT….WILL BE PUT ON WASHING UP DUTY FOR SIX WEEKS.

    DON’T LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN THERE’S A BIG ENOUGH OVERDRAFT BANK LOAN AS IT IS!

    THIS HOUSE IS NOT A HOTEL…. DON’T EXPECT ‘ROOM SERVICE’!

    GOD BLESS THIS MORTGAGED HOME

  • colario

    Just add to the rules.

    My mother taught me logic.

    She said ‘Do as I tell you or I will kill you.’

    My father was a kind man. He taught me economics,he said

    ‘Do as your mother tells you or leave home.

  • Mandy Dodd

    As for England, the media/WOB hail the Tottenham contingent, then, a bore draw and they blame the single Arsenal player who is on his way back from injury. No blame attached of course to their fave Spurs striker, who has done nothing of note so far.
    Apparently, Roy should have picked Leicester thug Danny Drinkwater, not Jack, DD is a player who as far as I can see, is limited to long balls and leg breakers. That will work well against the elite in a tournament, with proper refs who actually see things and apply the rules of the game, wont it!
    Seems the press are more and more embracing thugball, which has served England so well. Can only think of a handful of teams who will not lower themselves to this lesser form of the game next season, PGMOL:LCFC really have opened the floodgates
    Just hope Jack can use this to get fit, have a good pre season, then play something called football where it really matters next season.
    As for transfers, they say Arsenal are hindered by a big, slow, immobile striker. Then they want us to pay Everton £65m…for a big, slow, immobile striker. You know it makes sense.

  • Mick

    As far as I can see the strikers we are being linked to are not any better than our current options if stats are anything to go by which makes me think Arsene may decide not to take a chance and stick with what we have.
    The ones who are better, the likes of Aguerro etc are simply not available or too expensive.
    Unless Arsene can pull a rabbit out of the hat I see it as a distinct possibility that we will end up disappointed as far as signing a new striker is concerned.

  • SamuelAkinsolaAdebosin

    Sir Hardly anyone.
    I like to mull on 5 items of your media’s Arsenal transfer rumours article posting please.

    1. Morata’s transfer now cost £40m? Just yesternight, I read in the media that Madrid have placed a valuation of £60m on him for any club who is interested in buying him. I then told myself that Arsenal will simply baulk away if that Madrid’s valuation is true. But if it’s between £30-40m, Arsenal may bid for him if no buyback clause is included into the selling transfer contract.

    2. If Arsenal are going to buy Morata, they may want to cash on on selling Theo Walcott to the highest bidding club to help them fund their maybe Morata project. Which to me will be a reasonable business transaction and football matter consideration for Arsenal to implement.

    8. The media has been quoting Mino Raiola, Henrikh Mkhitaryan’s agent saying, Mkhitaryan wants to go to Man Utd. And the media has said United have even submitted an improved offer of £28m to Dortmond for Mkhitaryan’s transfer to them. But earlier, Arsenal were said to have submitted a £25m bid to Dortmond for Mkhitaryan’s transfer to us. If all these media’s rumours on Mkhitaryan’s transfer are true, is there a bidding war for Mkhitaryan’s signature going on between Arsenal and Man Utd?

    9. Petr Cech is reported to have received the #tag of being the goalkeeper to have conceded the highest number of goals at the European Cup of Nations tournaments after he has conceded 2 goals to Turkey. I am tempted to ask myself if Cech should remain no1 keeper for Arsenal? That’s an issue for the Boss to contemplate if he will have to stop Wojcieck Szczsney going out on loan again or retain him to compete for the no1 spot with Ospina.

    12. The Boss has not been reported by the media to have considered signing any CB since the unofficial opening of the transfer window has began, save Rod Holding. If this young Bolton FC CB impressed and convinced the Boss of his defensive qualities, and the lad will lived up to the billing of his names to be a rod at the Arsenal centerback and hold the position impregnably, I’ve been waiting to hear the announcement that will say, Arsenal have signed him.

  • Gouresh

    sorry to be out of topic, but ticket sales for the Arsenal / S’ton game on the 10th Sept on general sale http://www.ticketbis.net/arsenal-v-southampton-tickets/ev103172
    is this a valid site? the tickets are not even scheduled on the Arsenal site. any input in appreciated.

    tks

  • Pat

    Hi Samuel

    I see you’ve written off Theo Walcott and Petr Cech before the season even starts. Petr Cech on the basis of his national team’s performance. But he wasn’t playing for the Arsenal, was he? You might as well say Ronaldo and Ibrahimovich should be ditched from the teams they play for as well.

    I don’t know what Theo has done to offend you. He hasn’t even been playing. I’m hoping he will come back fit and raring to go.