By Sir Hardly Anyone.
“If people get new information that is in contrast to what they believe then they tend to neglect this new information for as long as possible.”
Yes my little ducklings, it is getting close to the sharp end of the sharp ended thing. Which means we need just eight more transfer rumours to hit the 100 mark for made up stories this transfer season. Only eight to go.
But first, what do you call a load of rumours with numbers after them when you want to suggest that you have some inside information.
Answer: An Algorithm.
No one quite knows that this means, or indeed why rumours, which are the fancies of drunken journalists in bars, should become algorithms – although the rumour has it that Alan Smythe of the Daily Insult was sitting at his favourite Dockland public house seat when a fellow journo shouted over telling the scribbler to follow an ex-player turned agent out of the door of the pub, to find out who he was going to meet. “Hey Al, go with him.”
It turned out to be a hot tip, as the agent was meeting a player who less than four years later signed for Barking. Of such moments are legends made and the algorithm was born. And now there is a company Football Whispers, that has built an Algorithm around transfer gossip.
Here’s what they have to offer on Arsenal aside from the expected “6 PLAYERS WHO ARSENAL WON’T SIGN BUT PROBABLY SHOULD”
|Player||Club||Whispers rating out of 5|
|Mauro Icardi||Inter Milan||3.4|
|Jonny Evans||West Brom||3.2|
|Alvaro Morata||Real Madrid||2.9|
|Karim Benzema||Real Madrid||2.7|
|James Rodriguez||Real Madrid||2.6|
|Antoine Griezmann||Atl. Madrid||1.8|
Which is why news about Lacazette is not wanted because we’ve had all that before. But that is where we have to start. However we shall come back to their chart after the window has broken under its own weight, and see how accurate they were.
1: Alexandre Lacazette is injured
Arsenal target Alexandre Lacazette appears to have sustained a hip injury and was substituted in Lyon’s 4-1 defeat by Paris Saint-Germain on Sunday night in the Trophee des Champions. Lyon manager Bruno Genesio said: It’s worrying. It’s a big downside of the evening in addition to the defeat. This is our attack leader, he is needed. It’s too early to tell about the injury. There will be examinations early this week.”
2: Mauro Icardi – Arsenal to buy him at any price.
Our man in the know brings us the latest on Arsenal’s striker hunt, with latest reports claiming they are willing to trade. The long and the short is that Arsenal are said to be offering Olivier Giroud plus £29m for Mauro Icardi. I suspect this is a set up so that the people running this can say, “look no one wanted Giroud that shows how bad he is”.
3: CONFIRMED Arsenal clear to sign Shkodran Mustafi
He’s a centre back with Valencia who started out at Everton. He didn’t play for Everton but got 50 games for Sampdoria and then 61 for Valencia.
Long (well for rumour mongers it is long) piece in the Telegraph today saying the signing of Mustafi is absolutely what Arsenal are going to do. It is their priority. They have stopped doing everything else. But it is still a rumour.
4: Ademola Lookman
Apparently Arsenal have been taking a look at 18 year old Ademola Lookman from Charlton Athletic – the club that didn’t recognise what they had with Francis Coquelin when he was on loan. He’s 18, he’s played 25 league games and “couldn’t stop scoring”. Which means he scored five goals in 25 games. Which is one more than Chuba Akpom got in four games.
Speaking of Coquelin, he remains an option at centre back as does Monreal – although curiously none of the newspapers mention Monreal’s time as a centre back, although they sneeringly say “Coquelin has been practising” in that position.
5: Marcelo Brozovic.
He is usually deployed as a box-to-box midfielder, so the question is, do we need another one of them. But he can play anywhere in the midfield. So still, do we need another one of them?
Apparently we do because he is apparently leaving Inter where he has played 47 and scored 5. Before that he was with Dinamo Zagreb.
6: Arsenal have added Red Bull Leipzig defender Lukas Klostermann to their list of defensive targets.
Now I’ll have to check but I think this is yet another name that is new, so another name to take the Index up towards 100 – which really is all that matters now.
7: Arsenal watch PSV Eindhoven midfielder Gaston Pereiro.
He’s played 30 times for PSV and scored 12 in the past league season.
8: Alvaro Morata wants to come to Arsenal.
Real Madrid striker Alvaro Morata wants to leave the Real Mad club to come and play in England. Chelsea have apparently had a bash at signing him but they won’t get him because he wants to play in red. He’s the guy who went to Juventus but Real Mad were not quite so really mad as they inserted a buy back clause into the contract.
Julio Pleguezuelo has been the captain of the Arsenal U-21 team last season and is set to join RCD Mallorca at Spanish Segunda Division. (You know it is a rumour when the phrase “set to” is used in a sentence).
Stefan O’Connor will join MVV Maastricht, O’Connor came on as a substitute against Galatasaray in the Champions League. He also spent the whole of last season on loan at York City.
And one that ain’t coming our way…
10: Thomas Vermaelen Completes Roma Medical
Hey ho. Can’t have them all back.
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- When is a trophy a trophy, and when is it not? (Clue: when Arsenal win it).
- Past, present and future: how Wenger’s approach to transfers is bearing fruit
- Arsenal 25 Man Squad – The updated list now the pre-season is done.
- Man City – Arsenal 2-3: Why ref? Why 4 minutes of extra time in a pre season friendly?
Arsenal in the 1930s – the full story continues month by month on the Arsenal History Society blog.,