By Sir Hardly Anyone
The problem is not so much your actual news but removing the exclamation marks and question marks from internet reports and finding the large woman who will apparently open her mouth and warble in order to bring it all to an end later today.
So here is your deadline day shock horror:
Bookies update: Arsenal firm favourites to sign midfield star as Wilshere considers offers
ARSENAL have emerged as odds-on favourites to sign Lanus playmaker Miguel Almiron, according to the bookies
That is from the Express at about 6.30am today, and is the tale Untold ran yesterday. They are just a bit late.
Meanwhile trawling the interweb I found this in the Mail: “Who says Wenger doesn’t like to spend? The assertion that the Frenchman is tight-fisted is a modern-day football myth.”
And I thought “Wow!” Something we’ve been saying for rather a long time finally reaches the Mail. “Wow, wow and thrice wow,” as the inimitable Frankie Howerd might have said. (That is a very English old person’s remembrance, don’t worry if you don’t get it).
In essence the Mail story says (and this was as of around 6am on 31 August):
“Manchester City are top spenders so far with £168.2m, followed by Manchester United on £145m with Arsene Wenger in third on £96m.”
Of course that won’t satisfy anyone; the commentaries are already being written about how we are £70m behind Man U already, so, as Untold has been saying through much of the summer, no one’s opinion will be changed. But nice to see the old right wingers have picked up on a spot of reality at last.
is one of the more misleading tales since the link takes us nowhere near that story, and I think that the deal is a loan not yer actual full blooded signing – but the Mail has said one nice thing about Arsenal so that’s probably enough for the day.
The Middlesbrough move looks like it is done but as I write Jack Wilshere going to Crystal Palace on loan is still a suggestion. It seems sure he will go somewhere on loan.
Here’s another spot of confusion this morning:
“Werder Bremen are on the verge of completing the signing of Serge Gnabry from Arsenal, according to the Bundesliga club’s director of sport Frank Bauman. This contradicts earlier reports that Bayern Munich are set to sign Gnabry on a permanent basis and then loan him out to Bremen.
“However, amid all this news, Arsenal are interested in offering Gnabry a new contract with the club.”
Put that together and it seems to say that no one quite knows what is going on with the man reborn at the Olympics.
Elsewhere here is something that I didn’t expect.
“After 15 years at Borussia Dortmund and Arsenal, Czech play maker Tomas Rosicky is returning to his former club Sparta Prague. Sparta announced the move on Tuesday. Details were to be announced at a news conference later in the day.”
Let’s wish Little Mozart well – when fit he was the most delightful player and his send off at the end of last season was great to be part of.
Moving away from Arsenal and a couple of miles along the Seven Sisters, what is going on with the Tiny Totts I hear you cry, or rather I would hear you cry if you were following your cue cards.
Once again looking at the Mail I rather enjoyed this
“Tottenham Hotspur sold Gareth Bale to Real Madrid for a staggering total of £90 million on September 1, 2013, and throughout that summer spent £108m on seven players, in a bid to replace the two-time PFA Players’ Player of the Year. Tuesday marked the departure of one of those purchases – Nacer Chadli to West Bromwich Albion – and also the three-year anniversary of Spurs’ final signing of that summer, Christian Eriksen. The north Londoners now have just two of the seven men they bought three years ago…”
That whole story over the years does suggest that the careful approach for which Mr W is so often derided can be better than the rush spend-spend-spend visions of the aaa and their chums in the High Road.
And speaking of people who are funny with money, I wonder if you remember Balotelli.
Liverpool came into the dosh after they got £64.98 million in old money for Luis Suárez. That’s about £250m in today’s transfer values. They spent that money on eight players like Rickie Lambert, Lazar Markovic, Alberto Moreno, Emre Can, Divock Origi, Adam Lallana, Dejan Lovren and they sure as hell were going to win the league. We knew that because every time anyone spoke of Liverpool! you could hear that exclamation mark.
Ah, but I missed a name…
In August 2014, Balotelli joined Liverpool for a fee of £16 million in old dosh, to replace Luis Suárez himself. Since then he has played 16 games for Liverpool and scored one (yes one, I counted it three times to make sure it is correct and it is one) league goal. He then went to Milan on loan and has played 20 times for them and scored one (yes I counted that too) league goal.
Now it seems he is going to Nice. On loan. The story is Liverpool will continue to pay most of his salary. Which is rather nice. [I have to say old chap that I am rather relieved this is the end of the transfer business for another year – it’s not the rumours that get me it is comments like that – Tony].
Of course the reality is that a lot of transfers don’t work out, for Tottenham, Liverpool, Man U, Man C and Arsenal. The problem with all reporting like this is it highlights one disaster and implies that the club in question is awful with transfers, and everyone else gets it right.
That is never the case – the issue is getting it right more often than not. Park Chu Young really was an odd signing at Arsenal, and Arsenal History Society did some digging and found some very odd issues in relation to that a couple of years back – but his transfer fee was very modest and clearly it was a gamble transfer. Others have been fill-ins – older players near the end of their careers who are willing not to play much of the time but just be there if needed.
And of course players’ form can change dramatically in a short space of time, not least through the sort of personal issues that Chamakh was reported to have had during his time with us.
So no one gets it right all the time, and the issue is getting it right most of the time. Speaking of which Stat DNA – the company at the heart of Arsenal’s transfers has a job vacancy…
In case you fancy applying here are the details…
We are looking for a junior developer to work on Arsenal Football Club’s soccer analytics platform. The ideal candidate will be responsible for implementing new reports and data visualizations on our website, and developing desktop applications for internal use. Some of the technologies we use include C#, .Net 4.5, SQL Server, jQuery, D3, and AWS but we value smart, passionate candidates over specific languages/frameworks. The ideal candidate is a recent graduate with some work experience in desktop or web development (ideally both frontend and backend) with a strong analytical mind, attention to detail and passion for soccer/sports analytics.
This job is located in our Seattle, WA office.
So for all those people who reckon that they know it all and can spot the talent that Mr Wenger can’t see, a mile off, there’s the job for you. Off you go. To apply, just send resume, cover letter and links to any portfolio, blog, github repository, etc. to firstname.lastname@example.org.
And now finally finally, this from Sky News
“The United Kingdom has 69 cities, but as it stands Sunderland is the most desperate for transfer news. Its inhabitants have completed more searches than those of any other city, with Stoke-on-Trent second and Liverpool third.
“Other top queries include ‘When is Deadline Day?’, ‘How much has been spent in the 2016 transfer window?’ and ‘When does the Scottish transfer window close?'”
And to end (which comes after finally, finally): Wolverhampton Wanderers have made 10 signings so far. Has any club in the league bought more?
The transfer window
- Waste Makers: how Planned Obsolescence entered the world of football.
- More indicators that Arsenal are going to buy another player before tomorrow’s deadline
- Wenger hints at one more big transfer before the end of the Window.
- Great Arsenal Transfer Index (28 Aug) reaches 111 players we are signing, with no apologies for errors to be seen
- Arsenal 25 Man Senior Squad – Update. A hint of more to come but with one in, two out.