By Ima Counter, Professor of Numerological Sciences, University of UnCertain Things, Shetland.
The last competition brought in a bumper crop of brilliant commentaries on the name Man Utd. I personally loved
Mischievous
Arsenal not Arsene
Not
Unlike
Tiny
Dumbo
not least because it followed a typical comment from an aaa and was the best response possible.
But I would urge anyone who retains a sense of humour to have a read through the comments that followed the last index. So that’s the standard you now have to match.
The next one on the list is “Liverpool” A phrase which takes each letter of the word in order as the first letter of a word, to make a phrase that summarises the essence of that extraordinary club.
Interestingly in the Great Arsenal Transfer Index we actually now have a couple of players who we signed whom the inventors never actually listed as a possibility. How odd!
So we have now had 111 players linked with us, five of whom appear to have signed, but only three of whom were actually tipped by the inventors of the rumours.
Part One: Players coming in. New entries and significant changes are in bold.
Player | Position | From | Current status | Also interested | ||
1 | Aymen Abdennour | centre back | Valencia | |||
2 | Ethan Ampadu | centre back | Exeter | He’s 15 | Tottenham tracking | |
3 | Takuma Asano (浅野拓磨) | Forward | Sanfrecce Hiroshima | is 21 and has played 50 times | Signed, but Guardian says no work permit. | |
4 | Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | Forward | B. Dortmund | Being urged to leave | Man U | |
5 | Carlos Bacca | 49 goal striker | Milan | We’re hijacking the deal! | Arsenal seen off WHU | |
6 | Michy Batshuayi | Striker | Marseille | £22m asking price | Chelsea | |
7 | Riechedly Bazoer | Cen mid. | Ajax | Barcelona, Chelsea, Man U, Tottenham | ||
8 | Medhi Benatia | Centre back | Bayern | 29 years old prone to injury | ||
9 | Christian Benteke | Striker | Liverpool? | Only done one year at Liverpool? | ||
10 | Gabriel Barbosa | Santos | 54 goals in 148 appearances | |||
11 | Rodrigo Bentancur | Midfield | Boca Juniors | Real Mad, Juve | ||
12 | Karim Benzema | Striker | Real Mad | Involved in court case | ||
13 | Daley Blind | Defence | Man U | |||
14 | Sofiane Boufal | Forward | Lille | £25m after one year in France | Barcelona, Chelsea and Atletico Madrid | |
15 | Marcelo Brozovic | Box to box midfielder | Inter | Not quite sure why we need a box to box midfielder at this moment. | ||
16 | Wilfred Bony | Striker | Man City | |||
17 | Sam Byram | RB or midfield | WHU | Previously of Leeds | ||
18 | William Carvalho | Def mid | Sporting Lisbon | |||
19 | Edinson Cavani | Striker | PSG | He’d like to come | ||
20 | Ben Chilwell | Left-back | Leicester | “Arsenal monitoring” | ||
21 | Troy Deeney | Striker | Watford | WFC captain | ||
22 | Jason Denayer | Defender | Man C | £10m | ||
23 | Julian Draxler | Left wing | Wolfsburg who say he’s going nowhere | £43m offer made. No, £54m | Liverpool sniffing but that’s what they do | |
24 | Jonny Evans | Defender | Was Man U, now WBA | £15m offer made | ||
25 | Frederico Fernandez | Defender | Swansea | A double swoop from Swansea | ||
26 | Rachid Ghezzal | winger | Lyon | Gets injured a lot | ||
27 | Matthias Ginter | centre back | Borussia Dortmund | |||
28 | Mario Götze | Attack midfield | Bayern Munich | Flopped after Dortmund | Liverpool. Gone to BvB | |
29 | Antoine Griezmann | Forward | Atletico Madrid | |||
30 | Goncalo Guedas | Wing | Benfica | Next C Ronaldo | Chelsea | |
31 | Raphaël Guerreiro | Left-back midfield | Lorient | |||
32 | Alen Halilovic. | Attack midfield | Barcelona | Last season loan to Sporting Gijon, | ||
33 | Marek Hamsik | Attack midfield | Napoli | His father is demanding more money | ||
34 | Rico Henry | Full back | Walsall | Next Ashley Cole | ||
35 | Gonzalo Higuain | Striker | Napoli | £79m but no offer made | Man U, Liverpool? Went to Juve | |
36 | Rob Holding | Winger | Bolton | £1.5m already signed | He signed | |
37 | Elseid Hysaj | Right back | Napoli | Staying at Napoli | ||
38 | Zlatan Ibrahimovic | Striker | PSG | Self proclaimed God | Went to Man U | |
39 | Mauro Icardi | Striker | Inter | £32m bid made deal very close | Wife says they need the money. Club says it wants €60 million. Arsenal offering ££££££ plus Giroud | |
40 | Odion Ighalo | Striker | Watford | |||
41 |
Lorenzo Insigne’s |
Striker |
Napoli |
|||
42 | Chiori Johnson | Defender | Aged 18, | Signed pro forms | ||
43 | Jorginho | “Strongest midfielder” | Napoli | Neil Banfield likes him | ||
44 | Stevan Jovetic | 2nd striker | Inter | 1st mooted two years ago | ||
45 | N’Golo Kante | Midfield | Leicester | Won the most tackles | Done Deal but not with AFC | |
46 | Naby Keita | Central mid | Red Bull Salzburg | |||
47 | Simon Kjær | Centre back | Fenerbache | |||
48 | Lukas Klostermann | Defender | Red Bull Leipzig | |||
49 | Toni Kroos | No 10 | Real Madrid | £45m | ||
50 | Grzegorz Krychowiak | Midfield destroyer | Sevilla | Another done deal elsewhere | ||
51 | Kalidou Koulibaly | centre back | Napoli | Signed and Sealed but… | Dependent on Chambers going. Arsenal at the front of the queue | |
52 | Alexandre Lacazette | Forward | Lyon – now injured | French League top scorer 2014.15 | Said he wanted to leave and come to AFC and then immediately got injured | |
53 | Mario Lemina | Juventus | £16m bid rejected | Watford interested | ||
54 | Robert Lewandowski | Striker | Bayern | About to break the bank | ||
55 | Ademola Lookman | Striker | Charlton | “Cant stop scoring” | 18 years old | |
56 | Jordon Lukaku | Left back | Oostende | Told Mr Wenger how to manage! | ||
57 | Romelu Lukaku | Striker | Everton | Broke Everton’s PL scoring record | Offer of £38m made | |
58 | Mario Mandzukic | Forward | Juventus | He has emerged as an option | ||
59 | Sadio Mane | Winger | Southampton | BBC say he’s gone to Liverpool | ||
60 | Kostas Manolas | Centre back | Roma | for £38m deal agreed? | Maybe to Chelsea | |
61 | Jeremy Mathieu | Defender | Barcelona | for 12m euros | He’s 32. | |
62 | Maycon | Midfield | Corinthians | new Ronaldo or Neymar or both. Or neither. | ||
63 | Marquinhos | Defender | PSG | His brother says AFC want him | Man U Man C Chelsea and Bayern Munich | |
64 | Riyad Mahrez | Wing | Leicester | £25m Considered him while at Le Havre | Has now agreed to join Arsenal according to reports from Algeria | |
65 | Kostas Mitroglou | Striker | Benfica | “Happy in Portugal” | ||
66 | Arkadiusz Milik | Striker | Ajax | Gone to Napoli | ||
67 | Henrikh Mkhitaryan | Midfield | B Dortmund | Went to Man U | Liverpool! Chelsea, Tottenham | |
68 | Alvaro Morata | Striker | Juventus (loan) Real Mad | “About to happen” | Snubbing Chelsea for Arsenal. Really, really wants Arsenal. | |
69 | Jeison Murillo | Central defender | Inter | Columbian Talks have started | Bayern Munich and Zenit | |
70 | Shkodran Mustafi . | Defender | Valencia | Anything between £20m and £33m | Arsenal have made an offer. Now the firm favourite to be signed. “Deal done” | |
71 | Ruben Neves | Defend midfield | Porto | |||
72 | Nolito | Striker | Celta Vigo | £13.8m buy out clause. Done deal elsewhere | ||
73 | Kelechi Nwakali | Midfield | Diamond Academy | Already joined for £3m | WHU, Bayern, Chelsea, Man U Liverpool? | |
74 | Gaston Pereiro | Midfield | PSV | Played 30 scored 12 this last season | ||
75 |
Lucas Perez |
Attack |
Deportivo |
Passed medical | ||
76 | Philipp Ochs | Midfield | Hoffenheim | 19 year old | ||
77 | Oguzhan Ozyakup | Midfield | Besiktas | In the 2009 AFC Youth Cup side | Won the Turkish league in 2016; will cost £16.8m | |
78 | Bruno Peres | Full back | Torino | £16.9m | ||
79 | Quincy Promes | Winger | Spartak Moscow | |||
80 | Domingos Quina | Midfield | Chelsea | |||
81 | Adrien Rabiot | Midfield | PSG | Asked for a move, not liked by fans | Chelsea, Man U | |
82 | Rafinha | RB | Bayern Munich | Metro utterly certain | ||
83 | Jese Rodriguez | Forward | Real Mad | Surplus to requirements | Now at PSG | |
84 | Ricardo Rodriguez | Left back | Wolfsburg | £20m | ||
85 | Maxi Romero | Forward | All Boys, Argentina | The new Messi | We were going to sign him last year but he got injured | |
86 | Daniele Rugani | Centre back | Juventus | Can’t get a game. | Man U, Everton, Napoli | |
87 | Erik Tobias Sandberg | Defender | Norwegian schoolboy | Under 17 | Man U | |
88 | Douglas Santos | Left back | Atlético Mineiro | |||
89 | Riccardo Saponara | Attack midfield | Empoli | Liverpool? | ||
90 | Fabian Schar | Defender | Hoffenheim | |||
91 | Ryan Sessegnon | Winger | Fulham | Liverpool? | ||
92 | Djibril Sidibé | Full back & midfield | Lille | Cover at full back | “Now gone to Monaco, Arsenal too slow” | |
93 | Moussa Sissoko | midfield | Newcastle | £35m | Sun now says “very likely” | |
94 | Islam Slimani | Striker | £23.25m Sporting Lisbon | £23.25m | Tottenham, Leicester | |
95 | Dominic Solanke | striker | Chelsea | Chelsea want to keep him | Arsenal preparing to steal him | |
96 | John Stones | CB | Everton | Now Man City | ||
97 | Daniel Sturridge | Striker | Liverpool? | “Will reportedly…” | “Tried last year” | |
98 | Neven Subotic | Defender | Borussia Dortmund | Has left training to talk to Arsenal | ||
99 | Omer Toprak | Centre back | Bayer Leverkusen | |||
100 | Yaya Toure | C Mid | Man City | |||
101 | Arda Turan | Attack midfield | Barcelona | 29, and wants to stay | Struggled at Barca. Telegraph celebrated fake coverage of transfer | |
102 | Robin van Persie | Forward | Fenerbache | “We’re waiting for buyers” | ||
96 | Jamie Vardy | Forward | Leicester | £20m | Signed but kept it a secret or he’s off to Liverpool. | |
103 | Thomas Vermaelen | Centre defence | Barcelona | He’s fit again. Barcelona seriously considering Arsenal’s offer. Oh, Gone to Roma | ||
104 | Victor Wanyama | Def. midf. | Southampton | Done deal elsewhere. | ||
105 | Julian Weigl | Midf. | Borussia Dortmund | £20 million | ||
106 | Ashley Williams | Defender | Swansea | But heading for Everton | To replace the voice left by Per. | |
107 | Granit Xhaka | Defend/ midfield | Monchengladbac | “Deal done” He signed. | Chelsea were rivals but failed. | |
108 | Andriy Yarmolenko | Winger | Dynamo Kiev | Tottenham Liverpool | ||
109 | Wissam Ben Yedder | Striker | Sevilla | “Could have joined Arsenal”: manager | WHAM, Totts, Leicester | |
110 | Simone Zaza | Forward | Juventus | |||
111 | Karl Zouma | Keeper | Chelsea | |||
Part Two Departures | ||||||
1 | Alexis | Forward | Juventus bids made | Asking for transfer | Agent trying to get move | |
2 | Arteta | End of career | ||||
3 | Bellerin | Full back | Barcelona | Now mulling over Man C deal | But also denied | |
4 | Joel Campbell | West Ham | But he wants to stay and fight for his place | Was loaned to Sporting. | ||
5 | Chambers | Centre back | Southampton or Watford? | 1 year loan? | ||
6 | Debuchy | Been on loan | ||||
7 | Mat Flamini | midfield | End of contract | The last Highbury player to leave AFC | ||
8 | Kieran Gibbs | Defend | Unhappy | WHU offer rejected | ||
9 | Olivier Giroud | Forward | Napoli | Part exchange | “We’ve never talked to Napoli” | |
10 | Isaac Hayden | Centre back | Newcastle | |||
11 | Laurent Koscielny | Defend | Bayern | Contract talks stalled? End of contract? | Not end of contract | |
12 | Per Mertesacker | Defend | Considering his future | But got injured in pre-season | ||
13 | David Ospina | Goal | Besiktas | |||
14 | Alex Oxlade-Chamberlaine | Attack midf. | Manchester City | Currently in the best form of his life | ||
15 | Rosicky | End of contract | ||||
16 | Santi Cazorla | Mid/For | Back to Villareal | |||
17 | Mesut Ozil | Midfield | Delayed talks | |||
18 | Jon Toral | Midfield | To Granada | |||
19 | W. Szczesny | Goal | Roma | Happy in Rome | Returning to AFC. No, staying as part of Manolas deal. No staying on loan | |
20 | Theo Walcott | Wing | State Aid Utd or Liverpool? | £20m | On the verge; or maybe not going | |
21 | Wellington Silva | Fluminense on four-year deal | ||||
22 | Jack Wilshere | Midfield | Man U | They will build the team around him | ||
Part Three: Coaching | ||||||
1 | Adam Birchall | Lead Development Phase coach | Works with under 16s | |||
2 | Thierry Henry | Under 18 | Left over TV issue | Became assistant manager for Belgium. | ||
3 | Tony Adams | Under 18 | 5 week trial | He left after a couple of weeks. | ||
4 | Arsene Wenger | Manager | In one year… | Will be replaced by … | ||
5 | Eddie Howe | Manager | In one year… | Replacing AW | ||
Part Four: Up from the youth | ||||||
1 | Krystian Bielik | Defender | Arsenal | Given no 37 | ||
2 | Stefan O’Conner | Defender | was with York | To Maastricht | ||
3 | Gedion Zelalem | Attack mid | Arsenal | Loaned to Rangers | ||
4 | Chris Willock | Attack midf. | Arsenal | Played in U21s. | Given no 59 | |
5 | Jeff Reine-Adélaïde | Wing | Arsenal | Moving into first team | ||
6 | Matt Macey | Goal | Arsenal | Moving into first team squad? | Allocated no 49 | |
5: Players going on loan | ||||||
1 | Dan Crowley | Midfield | Arsenal | Coventry | Actually gone to Oxford | |
2 | Julio Pleguezuelo | Defender | RCD Mallorca | |||
3 | Stefan O’Connor | MVV Maastricht, | Was at York City last season. | |||
6: Young Players leaving | ||||||
Ilias Chatzitheodoridis | U-18 no new contract | |||||
7: Players signing pro forms | ||||||
1 | Donyell Malen | |||||
2 | Tyrell Robinson | West Ham | ||||
3 | Joshua DaSilva |
Please note that sorting through all the comments that don’t follow our commentary rules is now taking too much time, and getting in the way of debate and enjoyment from those willing to follow the rules which are on the site. So we’re tending to delete them now. But if you can’t have your say on Untold you will find thousands of other sites that are willing to accommodate non-evidential opinion, or you can start you own blog. It’s free at https://wordpress.com/
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- Watford v Arsenal Sat 27 August – The Match Officials
If you’d watched any matches recently, you’d have realised that Holding is not a winger.
And if you looked at Arsenal.com you’d notice we’ve loaned out 6 – not 3 – U21 players.
I think this idea of mine of making sentences out club names is getting dangerously to the point of being over done.
Despite their opening day victory in view of the fact they haven’t won the league for 26 years. I still the best sentence for them is the two words as one.
Looserpool.
Does the Liverpool! competition require the explanation mark to be included? Has anyone else noticed that having announced the Perez and Mustafi deals and stating that our business was complete for the summer, rumours still keep on coming. I find it all so amusing
Lying
Incessantly
Verily
Evident
Requiring
Players
Of
Old’s
Lability ?
Using the club’s initials to make different sentences or phrases is another challenge.
for spuds
Tottenham Hotspurs football club
Becomes
T he
H orrible
F ootball
C lub.
My Baggies friend doesn’t like me for this.
W ell
B elow
A verage
for West Bromwich Albion
@colario – August 28, 2016 at 2:46 pm – Sometimes tiny snowballs roll down on to become massive avalanches !
If outside the rain is pouring down and you thinking ‘football’ oddities or as here the sun is shinning and you are thinking football.
Try this one using the four English leagues and any other league you like, try listing the clubs whose first letter is the same as its last.
As in
Liverpool
Aston Villa
And massive avalanches are usually killers.
exactly, no apologies what so ever from the nasty journos and bloggettas of their failure and untrue made believe rumors about Arsenal transfer activities but unsurprisingly in attempt to cover up their idiocies, some of them childishly start to accused Arsenal buying Lucas Pérez and Shkodran Mustafi out of panic. how pathetic and low-life can some of ‘them’ be? anyway, what a beautiful performance from The Gunners yesterday to get their 1st win of the season. can’t wait for all the players to settle in properly and give it all their best for the club this season. com’on Arsenal
In case you have felt pain during the Mustafi transfer saga, don’t feel surprised because
Skhodran
Mustafi
If you have read a lot of stories about Theo Walcott leaving Arsenal, don’t be shocked because
Transfer
Window
If you are fascinated with Granit Xhaka’s ability to connect all parts of our team with his passes, it’s absolutely normal because
Global
Xpress
Some folk do over react to the transfer rumours & gossip. It’s all harmless fun and nothing to get serious about. Who really cares how many different players a club is associated with?
I can see that Tony has the right perspective on this by just taking the piss out of them.
Read on another site that Simeone was being lined up to take over next season. Say it isn’t so…
Congratulations!
You have proven successfully ( for the fiftieth time) what almost everyone already knew – most transfer rumors are made up – well done!
For the very few on here who were not aware of this fact, allow me to apologize on behalf of the media for misleading you on this subject.
I’m profoundly sorry.
no wonder some folk use to tell lies cos when rumors and gossip by the journos and bloggettas were take as a normal stuff by them. u can tell a lot about some folk (character) who said rumors and gossip = lies) that lead to some fans to belittle and abused their own club every single days during the transfer window as a harmless fun and nothing to get serious about(maybe some fans use the rumor lies to their advantage to belittle the club cos they can’t stand the manager and want him sack, some even hate him). don’t understand why some people feel so bitter when UA were defending and call out the lies that were thrown to the club that we hold dearly to our heart, it’s like poison to some people. is a normal behavior in their life for some’ to defend what we loved and care. just like how Arsenal bound Shkodran Mustafi defend Mesut Ozil when a right wing fascism in their country try to spread hate among them. what S Mustafi did made me proud to be i a’muslim, don’t panic. we don’t need hate, we need love. peace to all
Apparently Mustafi was persuaded in his decision to join Arsenal by all the positive things Ozil has told him about the club.
Very strange Mesut should recommend the club, given media reports that he is unhappy at Arsenal due to the clubs lack of ambition, and according to them he will not sign a contract extension and wants to leave.
Anyone else find this a bit odd?
Now that we’ve signed somebody, reports are now finding ways out that Arsene and Arsenal did try to sign Griezmann……
League
Is
Very
Elusive
Remembering
Past
Only
Option
Left
Great work highlighting the media craziness in regards to Arsenal transfers.
Also, wanted to say thank you to Walter and Usama for their continued hard work with the ref reviews.
Lackluster
Indifferent
Value
Entirely
Representing
Pathetic
Over-hyped
Obnoxious
Losers
Languishing
Indigents
Vociferously
Endorsing
Reprobates
Perennial
Overtly
Oppressive
Ludicrousness
Lumpy
Ignorant
Vermin
Engaging
Repulsive
Putrid
Ogres
Ongoing
Labours
It would be hard to imagine going from attacking football to something as defensive as Simeone.
” A good wife always forgives her husband when she is in the wrong !”
Rodney Dangerfield .
I ‘m sure that all of us here will forgive the media for all their lies and trespasses , seeing that they are all seem to be mentally handicapped. And by choice of course it seems !
liars
in
vogue
encompasses
real
passion
on
only
losers!
I think some people misunderstand the point behind these articles regarding transfer rumours.
It’s patently obvious by the tone of the articles that Sir Hardly realises it is all just bullshit. Of course we all know there are similar rumours attributed to every club, but that isn’t really the point is it.
Surely the point of all this is about how these ‘rumours’ are used ?
And in Arsenals case, as we all know, they are constantly used as a weapon to ‘bash’ us, and Wenger in particular.
-This player turned us down.
-This player is unhappy and wants to leave.
-Wenger misses out on player ‘X’ because he’s too tight.
-Wenger misses out on player ‘Y’ because he ‘dithered’.
Blah blah blah.
Contrast that to other Clubs. How often are a string of ‘Marquee’ signings linked to say, Man Utd, that eventually fail to materialise ?
It happens regularly, but what we get in Uniteds case is a string of talking heads rolled out telling us how ‘ambitious’ United are, and how wonderful it will be when player ‘x’ turns up. The fawning is vomit inducing.
But the fact is, just the same as with Arsenal and just about every other Club, more often than not, player ‘x’ fails to arrive. This is normal.
But here’s the rub, when it all falls through for United what do we get ? Nothing. No ‘Dithering’ by United. No ‘United miss out again’. Nope, we just move on to the next ‘Marquee’ signing coming there way, and yet more vomit inducing crap. All remains rosy in the united garden.
Similarly when it comes to late signings in the transfer window.
When United signed Berbatov at the last minute some years ago SKY News embarked on what can only be described as a ‘wank fest’.
Arsenal buy a player within a week of the window closing and it’s a ‘panic’ buy.
Anyone spot a theme here ?
The problem is, as obvious as all this is, people are sucked in, and sadly that includes a large group of Arsenal fans.
For example you only have to read the recent article ‘New is just new’ by Tim Charlesworth, to see how even an Untold regular has been sucked in and placed himself firmly in the Wenger is a ‘Ditherer’ camp.
I mean, just because you take time and care over a decision is that ‘dithering’ or is that ‘prudence’ ?
Is just paying the first price you are given the right thing to do, even if that price is way over the players true value ?
Or is negotiating a better deal the right thing to do ?
I know what I think.
Maybe when you are sponsored by a Country or a Billionaire you can just pay whatever is asked, but NOT when you are actually living in the real World.
Calling Wenger a ‘ditherer’ is clearly an insult, which leads me back to my original point about what this is really all about.
All these rumours are merely a means to an end. And the end game is simply to insult and undermine Arsenal FC.
Ridiculing our transfer dealings is not the only way the media do this.
They try a similar trick when it comes to referees. They destroy any ref that dares to give us a fair crack of the whip, yet praise to the hilt a ref that buries us.
They attack our ticketing with vastly distorted figures.
They attack our fans for being ‘fickle’ yet they are the ones that induce this behaviour in the first place.
The media attack on us is incessant, and knows no bounds, and the attack on our transfer dealings is just one aspect of it.
It is clearly NOT just innocent fun as some would try to have us believe. It is a serious and sustained attempt by the media to undermine everything about our Club.
Who is this Jambug? Welcome back Jambug. I’ve missed you.
Fantastic post Jambug and I agree completely.
‘Legends ‘
Incorrect
Version
Resultant
Pissing
On
Own
Legacies .
Oopss….
‘Legends ‘
Incorrect
Version
Eventually
Resultant
Pissing
On
Own
Legacies .