By The Brickfields Gunners .
“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you’ll die of a misprint.” – Markus Herz .
After the success and great reception of the first article of the series here, titled Latest Medical Discoveries and Treatments for “them” at http://untold-arsenal.com/a
But first , a sad case of a valiant rehabilitation gone wrong. Sometimes we do get it wrong the first few thousand times too!
“I have not failed 1000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb.”
Thomas A. Edison.
The Newer Discoveries –
Similarly symptoms were recently noted in the media and in the experts, when confronted with or presented with evidence that run contrary to the set script or agenda. Recently was also called the Mark Halsey conundrum – there was such a pregnant pause followed by totally deafening silence.
2. THE TW MANIA or MADNESS –
“The human mind has a primitive ego defence mechanism that negates all realities that produce too much stress for the brain to handle. It’s called Denial.” – Dan Brown .
The newer treatments –
‘ I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ‘ – W.C Fields .
This is a topically applied gel for teenagers, which is readily absorbed and crosses the blood brain barrier. It combines the beneficial proprieties of OXY and MORONAID . Not only does it clear up all that clogged pores and raging hormonal acne, but it also effective in unclogging the brain by removing angst and stupidity. Having cleared the face and brains , the patients not only exhibits and extrudes confidence but also clarity of thought .
Both of which improves the chances of the subject to probably get laid and even more joy!
2. VERBATIMYSIN –
This is another new and powerful cerebral decongestant. It prevents the patient from the repetitive uttering of erroneous ‘facts’ and unsubstantiated beliefs that may have been drummed into his head by the not so subtle subliminal messages by the so called ‘experts’ in the print and visual medias.
Our youth will no longer be ‘willing’ Manchurian candidates when silly ” Spend some fucking money ! ” or ” Enough is enough !” slogans are repeated. Instead they will be able to think the issues through and make well informed decisions.
3. FLUMMOXNIL –
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein.
A new and experimental CNS drug that shows promise when introduced early and at a younger age . It blocks the inflow of teenage related confusion and retards moronic leanings. It encourages self realisation , purity of thought and a thirst for knowledge via the old medium, ie books, discourse and discussion.
Among its more positive effects is a distinct distaste for modern and latest gadgets, that seen to occupy and corrupt our youth and rendering them unfit for gainful employment. Unless there are jobs out there for those who have successfully captured all those beings on Pokemon Go! Just like those Dungeon Masters of old who made such great strides in life by their acquired skills in role playing.
We will endeavour to keep you all updated of the newest trends and treatments in medicine, all in a lighter vein. As it should be!