How many blue whales can you fit into a Boeing 747 before lunch and what your dog’s barks mean
Last thursday, I went in to enquire about getting a dog collar to give as a Christmas present to one of my chums who had recently taken a creature from the local Animal Rescue Shelter.
The pet shop offered me a device that translates dog barks into English and then sends the translation to your mobile phone. The dog barks, your phone buzzes and you get to know what your dog is saying and can thus answer its every need. It’s called WhatsYapp.
This in turn led me on to the notion that perhaps, if I had a dog and if I attached the WhatsYapp collar, I could then transcribe each of the comments the dog made and turn it into a dog diary. I predicted a best seller.
So I bought a collar, borrowed a dog name of Joey, and took it for walks, transcribing the commentary from my phone each morning and evening upon my return.
“Speed up you dozy old git,” as enunciated by Joey and transcribed by myself is to be published by Woof Books next year.
But what made it all so interesting is that I discovered to my surprise that Joey could hold forth on all sorts of things beyond issues relating to the speed of my perambulating.
For example he told me that the world’s lightest planes weigh about 150kg which is less than one eighth of your standard blue whale. On the other hand a Boeing 747 can weigh about 412 tonnes, and a blue whale weighs on average 190,000kg. Turns out a Boeing is 21.6 times heavier than your standard blue whale.
But… Joey continued, if the Boeing were to be empty, with limited fuel and neither passengers nor luggage on board it would only weigh 180 tonnes. However to be fair one would have to weigh the blue whale before breakfast. I really never knew dogs were so intelligent, although sadly it seems that they don’t have the concept that being a know-all becomes a little tiresome after a while. If you want to borrow my WhatsYapp, you are welcome to try it out.