By Sir Hardly Anyone
Taking all the rumours we have seen so far, here is the list of players that Arsenal are most certainly going to sign this summer according to the English newspapers. They got 3 right out of 110 tries last year. Can they improve their rating this time around???
Part 1: Players coming in – players listed for the first time in this chart have the cunning entry word “New” written in the first column. Clever eh?
| No | Player | Club | Position | Notes |
| 1 | Marcelo Allende | Deportes Santa Cruz | Attack m’f | Had 3 trials, training with first team. Signing today!!!! Actually that was last week. |
| 2 | Karim Benzema | Real Mad | F’wd | Definitely going to either AFC or Chelsea |
| 3 | Andrea Belotti | Juventus | F’wd | Sadly he has just signed a new contract |
| NEW | Joel Campbell | Return | F’wd | Loan period ending |
| 5 | Iker Casillas | Porto | Goal | To solve our goalkeeping “crisis” |
| 6 | Kingsley Coman | Juventus | Wing | On loan with Bayern this season |
| 7 | Virgil Van Dijk | Southampton | Defence | Helps us play a back 3 all the time |
| 8 | Ederson | Benfica | Goal | 23 year old to replace Cech |
| 9 | Emil Forsberg | RB Leipzig | Midfield | He’s Swedish and he’s 25 years old |
| 10 | Jose Luis Gaya | Valencia | LB | Man City winning the race |
| 11 | Ben Gibson | Middlesbrough | Centre back | £30m. Tottenham want him. |
| 12 | Leon Goretzka | Shalke | M’fld | £21m, 1 yr left on contract. Wanted to replace Ozil (Most quoted story by far) |
| NEW | Amine Harit. | Nantes | M’fld | Arsenal have given him a trial. He is 19-years-old |
| 14 | Lorenzo Insigne | Napoli | F’wd | Liverpool! are on alert! |
| 15 | Jakub Jankto | Udinese | M’fld | To play alongside Xhaka |
| NEW | Naby Keïta | RB Leipzig | Right back | Has refused to sign a new contract |
| NEW | Grzegorz Krychowiak | PSG | Def M’fd | New in the sense that this is the first entry for him this year, but it is the third year he has been tipped to join us. |
| NEW | Koke | Atl Madrid | M’fld | Replacement for Santi Cazorla |
| NEW | Dawid Kownacki | Lech Poznan | Striker | the new Robert Lewandowski’ |
| 20 | Sead Kolašinac | Schalke | Defender | Oh yes he has oh no he hasnt |
| 21 | Kylian Mbappe | Monaco | F’wd | The new Thierry Henry Story repeated all this week |
| 22 | Alexandre Lacazette | Olympique Lyonnais | Striker | Man City want him |
| NEW | Romelu Lukaku | Everton | Forward | Dead cert to join AFC |
| NEW | Florentin Pogba | St Etienne | Defender | Brother of Paul at Man U |
| NEW | Leandro Paredes | Roma | Midfield | A story from last year now resurected |
| 26 | James Rodriguez | Real Madrid | Midf/wing | Juventus Milan Man U all want him |
| 27 | Ivan Perisic | Inter | Midf/wing | Man U desperate for him |
| 28 | Kasper Schmeichel | Leicester | Goal | The man to solve our goalkeeping “crisis” |
| 29 | Michaël Seri | Nice | Midfield | Tottenham, Barcelona and PSG want him. |
| 30 | John Terry | Chelsea | Nasty | This story from the Daily Mail |
| 31 | Corentin Tolisso | Lyon | M/fld or F’wd | French international, dreams of Arsenal. Still being mentioned |
| 32 | Arda Turan | Barcelona | M’fld | He’s 30 years old |
| 33 | Jack Wilshere | Bournemouth | M’fld | 75% of guys in the pub want him back |
Part 2: Outgoing Players
| No | Player | Club | Notes |
| 1 | Alexis | Man C | Guardiola making £50m offer his summer priority |
| 2 | Alexis | Chelsea | Will play out contract and go on a free to Chelsea. |
| 3 | Alexis | Man U | Has already agreed deal |
| 5 | Krystian Bielik | Birmingham | City keen to extend loan for another year. |
| 6 | Bellerin | Barcelona | Barce will sign him; no, he is happy to stay |
| 7 | Campbell | Fenerbahce | Currently in talks to sign |
| 8 | Jenkinson | Newcastle | Just promoted, need players |
| 9 | Ospina | Fenerbahce | |
| 10 | Lucas Perez | PSG | He’s an “outcast” according to “reports” |
| 11 | Wojciech Szczesny | Napoli | Every newspaper seems to have this one. |
| NEW | Nathan Tella | Southampton | Deal done and completed |
Such is the excitement about players going that Talk Sprout on their own have given us a new listing:
Part 3: Coaching staff
Chelsea’s goalkeeping coach Christophe Lollichon is “set to” follow Cech to Arsenal .
That’s about it for this week. When we find some more we’ll let you know, but with only 56 days to go before the jolly old window opens itself again, we think the journalists could do a bit better. There are 117 days before the window shuts so really they need to come up with one new name a day if they are to beat the old record comfortably.
- Does West Ham’s experience at the Tax Payers Stadium offer a lesson to Tottenham?
- Arsenal v Manchester United Sun 7 May – The Match Officials. A certain bias is detected.
- When a club is accused or found guilty of criminal offences, does it matter?
- The notion that every judgement can be made immediately, which dominates football, is the most dangerous judgement of all
From the History Society
5 May 1935: Arsenal win the league for the third time under three different managers
3 May 1971: Arsenal won the league at WHL (for the first time)
I think Mbappe is off the list if reports of him agreeing to sign for Real Madrid are true.
And Man City won’t be signing any u18s for a couple of years now.
It seems those who draw this list of players get their inspiration from weed.
And every cloud has a silver lining. We can always depend on the tiny Tots to cheer us up in these not-at-all exciting times.
Yes, the little Spurs again do what Spuds always do.
It is now nearly 60 years since the lousy Spuds last won the league.
And it is now more than 25 years since the little Tots last won any trophy of substance.
Spurs loses to West Ham. And their title dreams nosedive.
Sorry totally off subject how did Lloris stay on the pitch last night ?
Nowhere near the ball and completely takes out the West Ham player Pigmol trying to influenceing the result of a game involving one of their darlings
@Steve
If you have been around for a while, you might have read a piece of data that I’ve been boring people with – Spuds have gone 75 league games without a red card.
Why? Well, that’s something nobody from the media would dare to ask.