Arsenal News
Arsenal News & Transfers
As featured on NewsNow: Arsenal newsArsenal News 24/7

Arsenal News, Only Arsenal, Blogs, Transfer News

Archives

December 2017
M T W T F S S
« Nov    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

The Arsenal Transfer Index: the players we are signing and those we’re letting go

By Sir Hardly Anyone

Right, I think we’ve done the old FA Cup malarky, except to note in passing that it is good to see that as always 160 seats are reserved at Wembley for the honourable gentlemen and their ladies of the Shire of Rutland FA.  Indeed I was of course able to take up my place along with the Marquis, and his good lady the marchioness, who I once managed to insult by asking what life was like on the Red Planet.

Anyway the resultant death penalty (which they still have in Rutland) was commuted and eventually I was rehabilitated, and we, and the nobility of the other shires, took up our seats as set forth in statute by Henry VIII, after a particularly fine hunt in the grounds of the old ancestral pile.   I noted they still let some of the lower ranks into the ground behind the goals, but we tried not to let it spoil the occasion.

But now, having attended the official FA banquet after the game, which naturally lasted well into Monday morning, I am returned and ready to bring you up to date with the transfers so far.

Last season the entire first team squad were tipped to be leaving and over 110 players were said to be coming in.  It didn’t quite work out like that.   But still we really do need to keep an eye on the cumulative outpourings of those who make these things up.

To help, transfers that have been added since we last did the list have the word NEW written next to them

Thus we have…

Part 1: The 43 players coming in

Players listed for the first time in this chart have the cunning entry word “New” written in the first column.  It’s all clever stuff you know.

No Player Club  Position Notes 
 1 Tammy Abraham Chelsea  Striker  Currently on loan to Bristol City
 2 Marcelo Allende  Deportes Santa Cruz Attack m’f  Had 3 trials, training with first team.  Signing today!!!!  Actually that was two weeks ago.
3 Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang Borussia Dortmund Forward £80m to replace Alexis.  Man U want him
4 Carlos Bacca AC Milan Striker He’s 32 years old.  Was going to WHU
5 Gareth Bale Real Mad Striker Stan Collymore tipped this one.
 NEW  Ross Barkley.  Everton Attack mid  Been there since 2010 and played 150 games – does he really want to come to the Emirates?
7 Karim Benzema Real Mad F’wd Definitely going to either AFC or Chelsea
8 Andrea Belotti Juventus F’wd Sadly he has just signed a new contract
9 Joel Campbell Return F’wd Loan period ending
10 Iker Casillas Porto Goal To solve our goalkeeping “crisis”
11 Kingsley Coman  Juventus Wing On loan with Bayern this season
12 Virgil Van Dijk Southampton Defence Helps us play a back 3 all the time
13 Ederson Benfica Goal 23 year old to replace Cech
14 Emil Forsberg RB Leipzig Midfield He’s Swedish and he’s 25 years old
15 Jose Luis Gaya  Valencia LB Man City winning the race
16 Ben Gibson Middlesbrough Centre back £30m.  Tottenham want him.
17 Leon Goretzka Shalke M’fld £21m, 1 yr left on contract.  Wanted to replace Ozil (Most quoted story by far)
18 Amine Harit. Nantes M’fld Arsenal have given him a trial.  He is 19-years-old
19 Lorenzo Insigne Napoli F’wd Liverpool! are on alert!
20 Jakub Jankto Udinese M’fld To play alongside Xhaka
21 Naby Keïta RB Leipzig Right back Has refused to sign a new contract
22 Grzegorz Krychowiak PSG Def M’fd New in the sense that this is the first entry for him this year, but it is the third year he has been tipped to join us.
23  Koke Atl Madrid M’fld Replacement for Santi Cazorla
24 Dawid Kownacki Lech Poznan Striker the new Robert Lewandowski’
25 Sead Kolašinac Schalke Defender Oh yes he has oh no he hasnt
26 Kylian Mbappe Monaco F’wd The new Thierry Henry  Story repeated all this week.  He’s the 18 year old wonderkid
27 Alexandre Lacazette Olympique Lyonnais Striker Man City want him. Story has just resurfaced in the Guardian.
NEW Mario Lemina  Juventus Cent mid He’s 23, previously with  Lorient and Marseille.
29 Romelu Lukaku Everton Forward Dead cert to join AFC
NEW Henry Onyekuru  KAS Eupen Forward He’s 19 usually plays on the left, one for the future.
31 Florentin Pogba St Etienne Defender Brother of Paul at Man U
32 Leandro Paredes Roma Midfield A story from last year now resurrected
33 Jordon Pickford Sunderland Goal Although Mr W has said he is not looking to sign a keeper.  Man U, Everton and Liverpool want him
34 James Rodriguez Real Madrid Midf/wing  Juventus Milan Man U all want him
35 Ivan Perisic Inter Midf/wing Man U desperate for him
36 Kasper Schmeichel Leicester Goal The man to solve our goalkeeping “crisis”
37 Michaël Seri Nice Midfield Tottenham, Barcelona and PSG want him.
NEW Chris Smalling.  Man U Centre back Played 153 times for Man U.
39 Wojciech Szczesny Roma loan Goal Mr W. said that he is not looking to sign a keeper (allegedly) so everyone assumes it is Szcz’s return
40 John Terry Chelsea Nasty This story from the Daily Mail
41 Corentin Tolisso  Lyon M/fld or F’wd French international, dreams of Arsenal.  Still being mentioned
42 Arda Turan Barcelona M’fld He’s 30 years old
43 Jack Wilshere Bournemouth M’fld 75% of guys in the pub want him back

 

Part 2: The 14 players already said to be on their way out

No  Player  Club  Notes 
 1a Alexis Man C Guardiola making £50m offer his summer priority
1b Alexis Chelsea Will play out contract and go on a free to Chelsea.
1c Alexis Man U Has already agreed deal
2 Krystian Bielik Birmingham City keen to extend loan for another year.
3 Bellerin Barcelona Barce will sign him; no, he is happy to stay
4 Campbell Fenerbahce Currently in talks to sign
NEW Francis Coquelin  Valencia This story has been going on and on and on and
NEW Olivier Giroud  Marseille He wants to play more games.
7 Jenkinson Newcastle Just promoted, need players
8 Koscielny Marseille He’s just had enough
9 Ospina Fenerbahce Some are just saying “to Turkley”
10 Ozil Real Mad They realise they should have kept him
11 Lucas Perez PSG He’s an “outcast” according to “reports”
12 Wojciech Szczesny Napoli Every newspaper seems to have this one.
13 Nathan Tella Southampton Deal done and completed
NEW Theo Walcott West Ham Ray Wilkins says he must leave to protect his career
    .
    The FA Cup…

7 comments to The Arsenal Transfer Index: the players we are signing and those we’re letting go

  • colario

    Dead dog
    Three priests hold a meeting to discuss where life begins.

    The evangelical priest says, “No question about it, life begins when the child is born.”

    “No, no,” says the Catholic priest, “it all starts when the sperm meets the egg.”

    “You’re both wrong,” says the Rabbi. “Life begins when the children have left home and the dog is dead.”

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Smart rat

    It was a practical session in the psychology class.

    The proffessor showed a large cage with a male rat in it.

    The rat was in the middle of the cage.

    Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on one side and kept a female rat on the other side.

    The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.

    Then, the professor changed the cake and replaced it with some bread.

    The male rat ran towards the bread.

    This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time.😗😛

    And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.

    Professor said: This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction.

    Then, one of the students from the back rows said:

    “Sir, why don’t you change the female rat? This one may be his wife…!!! ”

    😀😛

    The professor stood straight up his finger pointing towards the student and said “You got an A.”

  • Brickfields Gunners

    They say it happened on a fine Sunday morning.

    A guy went into the confessional box after many years.

    He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

    He was stunned!!!!

    There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Heineken on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates.

    On the side a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

    He hears a priest come in: “Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be”.

    “GET OUT” !!!! The priest screamed at the top of his voice.

    ‘YOU ARE ON MY SIDE OF THE CONFESSION BOX!!!!!'”

  • Brickfields Gunners

    And that ladies and gentlemen , is how Riley was banished to hell !

  • Brickfields Gunners

    Wrong use of d word ‘F..k’.

    Rocky has broken his leg and his buddy Bob comes over to see him.

    Bob: How are you doin ??

    Rocky: Fine.

    Hey, do me a favour.. Go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet are freezing!

    Bob goes upstairs and sees Rocky’s hot twin sisters lying on the bed.

    Bob: Your brother sent me up to have sex with you girls..

    Twins: Prove it!

    Bob (Shouting): Hey Rocky.., both of them ??

    Rocky (Shouting back): Of course! What’s the point of fucken one???…

  • Dammy

    I like that John Terry’s position is not goal, defence, midfield, nor forward. Just nasty.

    He was in his full kit on Sunday, some say he tried on a Koscielny jersey in an attempt to be a ringer but was caught out as non playing arsenal players were in suits…

  • Flares

    Stan Collymore writes for Mirror Sport. Has there ever been a more powerful validation of journalistic credentials?

    Benzema – Nah. Back to France to finish his career in the Motherland.

    Casillas – off to Merseyside. Ewww.

    Ederson – City. almost a lock.

    Gibson – Ushited’s top priority, apparently for around £30m.

    Lacazette – agreed personal terms with Atletico, hasn’t he?

    Rodriguez – as above, but with AC Milan.

    Lukaku – Chelsea

    Perisic – valuation not matched. Won’t stop Untied, they pay whatever anybody wants them to pay.

    Smalling – no thanks.

    The C*nt Terry – clearly a not very amusing joke

    Wilshere – haven’t missed him one bit