The Arsenal Transfer Index: the players we are signing and those we’re letting go

7 Replies to “The Arsenal Transfer Index: the players we are signing and those we’re letting go”

1. Dead dog
   Three priests hold a meeting to discuss where life begins.

   The evangelical priest says, “No question about it, life begins when the child is born.”

   “No, no,” says the Catholic priest, “it all starts when the sperm meets the egg.”

   “You’re both wrong,” says the Rabbi. “Life begins when the children have left home and the dog is dead.”

2. Smart rat

   It was a practical session in the psychology class.

   The proffessor showed a large cage with a male rat in it.

   The rat was in the middle of the cage.

   Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on one side and kept a female rat on the other side.

   The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.

   Then, the professor changed the cake and replaced it with some bread.

   The male rat ran towards the bread.

   This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time.??

   And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.

   Professor said: This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction.

   Then, one of the students from the back rows said:

   “Sir, why don’t you change the female rat? This one may be his wife…!!! ”

   ??

   The professor stood straight up his finger pointing towards the student and said “You got an A.”

3. They say it happened on a fine Sunday morning.

   A guy went into the confessional box after many years.

   He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.

   He was stunned!!!!

   There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Heineken on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates.

   On the side a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.

   He hears a priest come in: “Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be”.

   “GET OUT” !!!! The priest screamed at the top of his voice.

   ‘YOU ARE ON MY SIDE OF THE CONFESSION BOX!!!!!'”

4. And that ladies and gentlemen , is how Riley was banished to hell !

5. Wrong use of d word ‘F..k’.

   Rocky has broken his leg and his buddy Bob comes over to see him.

   Bob: How are you doin ??

   Rocky: Fine.

   Hey, do me a favour.. Go upstairs and get me my slippers. My feet are freezing!

   Bob goes upstairs and sees Rocky’s hot twin sisters lying on the bed.

   Bob: Your brother sent me up to have sex with you girls..

   Twins: Prove it!

   Bob (Shouting): Hey Rocky.., both of them ??

   Rocky (Shouting back): Of course! What’s the point of fucken one???…

6. I like that John Terry’s position is not goal, defence, midfield, nor forward. Just nasty.

   He was in his full kit on Sunday, some say he tried on a Koscielny jersey in an attempt to be a ringer but was caught out as non playing arsenal players were in suits…

7. Stan Collymore writes for Mirror Sport. Has there ever been a more powerful validation of journalistic credentials?

   Benzema – Nah. Back to France to finish his career in the Motherland.

   Casillas – off to Merseyside. Ewww.

   Ederson – City. almost a lock.

   Gibson – Ushited’s top priority, apparently for around £30m.

   Lacazette – agreed personal terms with Atletico, hasn’t he?

   Rodriguez – as above, but with AC Milan.

   Lukaku – Chelsea

   Perisic – valuation not matched. Won’t stop Untied, they pay whatever anybody wants them to pay.

   Smalling – no thanks.

   The C*nt Terry – clearly a not very amusing joke

   Wilshere – haven’t missed him one bit